


Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde rewritten

by ChopinWorshipper



Category: The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Major Character Injury, Multi, Other, Torture, also evil scientist organisations, and a lot of violence because Hyde, and female mary sue ocs, and telepaths, because there totally aren't enough of those, because why not, but none of the book characters dies, still the same universe, there is also telepathy, there will still be deaths though, this is a slight AU, yes i'm one of those writers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2019-10-21 04:51:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 35
Words: 100,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17636285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChopinWorshipper/pseuds/ChopinWorshipper
Summary: What if Hyde hadn't succeeded in killing Sir Carew? What if there was a conveniently badass female telepath present to save the night? What said telepath could actually force Jekyll to be honest for once? What if Lanyon recovered from his shock? What if someone actually listened to Hyde's version of the story?I asked myself these and a lot of other questions, so I wrote this story. Warning: here there be angst and drama. LOTS AND LOTS OF DRAMA!!! And gay pairings. Don't like, don't read. Easy as pie.Also, some of the chapters or passages are shamelessly copied/rewritten from the book. I'm sorry. I would never dare to claim to remotely compare to Robert Louis Stevenson's writing.





	1. Searching for Mr. Hyde

1\. Searching for Mr. Hyde

 

Gabriel John Utterson was, as a lawyer, not someone who could easily be startled. But the incident his cousin Richard Enfield had told him about was nagging at him. No, nagging at him was an understatement. Ever since he had heard the story, he had been plagued for nightmares. They were always the same. His dear friend, Henry Jekyll, being haunted by dark shadows, usually in the shape of a man. Or a replay of the occurrence Enfield had told him about. The man was always faceless, which in itself was uncanny enough.

And every time he awoke from his nightmares in cold sweat, he was compelled to go to his safe and read the will of his friend Dr. Jekyll over and over.

The good doctor had declared a certain Mr. Edward Hyde to be the sole heir to his fortune. And that very man had trampled over a little girl without even a shred of sympathy, cold as ice. What was compelling Jekyll to leave his fortune to such a creature? Did he even know? In what kind of relation did Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde stand with each other? Who on earth was this Mr. Hyde?

A visit to Jekyll's former friend, Dr. Hastie Lanyon, didn't bring any answers.

Utterson couldn't stop pondering about it, no matter how hard he tried. So often he tried to calm himself down, that he was just being unhealthily obsessed with the matter and that this was nothing a good night's sleep couldn't solve. But he never got one.

After several nights without sleep and an incident that involved him dozing off in his own office (luckily with no one around), he decided that this state of perpetual unrest was unsustainable.

He was convinced that the only way to end this was to face the source of his nightmares. He wanted to look this Mr. Hyde in the eye, if only to either confirm or shatter his suspicions. He wanted to see the man in person, hoping that just one look at this peculiar face would answer his questions.

What was so repulsive about it, that his calm and collected younger cousin felt such an irrational loathing just at the very sight of it?

So it came that every evening from then on, Mr. Utterson went to the street where the scene had happened, stood in his chosen post and waited. He was aware of how creepy this seemed to be, but for the sake of his own rest and the well-being of his friend, this had to be done.

_If he be Mr. Hyde, I shall be Mr. Seek._

After what seemed endless nights of waiting, his patience was finally rewarded.

One frosty, clear winter night, when he had just assumed his usual – uhm, watching duty, as he would have loved to shamefully call it, but couldn't bring himself to – well, his spot, he was alerted by hasty, oddly light steps coming down the lonely road. They were coming closer and for some reason, Utterson felt an inexplicable sense of triumph and quietly hid in the shadows of the court entry. When the footsteps came around the corner, their owner came into view. The lawyer sneaked a glance to see what kind of man he would be dealing with.

He was small and plainly dressed, but that alone wouldn't have been too noteworthy. However, there was something about him, a dark aura that made the beholder uncomfortable, even from a distance.

The man hurried down the street, crossed the road and purposefully made his way across the courtyard. The lawyer could faintly see him take out a key, as if approaching his own home.

Then Utterson decided to step forward and tapped the smaller man on the shoulder.

“Mr. Hyde, I think?”

The other started rather violently, with a hissing intake of breath. But he collected himself quickly. Despite avoiding to look Utterson in the eye, he finally answered coolly: “That is my name. What do you want?”

 _To know why my best friend would leave his fortune to a man like you_ , Utterson thought, but what he said instead was: “I see you're going in. I'm an old friend of Dr. Jekyll's – Mr. Utterson of Gaunt Street – you must have heard my name; and meeting you so conveniently, I thought you might admit me.”

“You won't find Dr. Jekyll; he is from home”, Mr. Hyde replied, blowing the key.

_He's using every excuse to avoid eye contact with me, isn't he? How would he know that the doctor is from home anyway, when he himself has been out until now?_

Suddenly the smaller man startled him by asking suspiciously (but still without looking up): “How did you know me?”

“On your side, will you do me a favour?”, the lawyer countered.

This seemed to surprise Hyde in return, before he recovered and guardedly replied: “With pleasure. What shall it be?”

_This is my chance!_

“Will you let me see your face?”

For a moment, Mr. Hyde seemed to hesitate, like he was considering whether he should do it or not. Then, as if making up his mind, he turned around with an air of defiance, lifting his top hat far enough to show his eyes.

A few agonizingly long seconds of silence followed, as the two men fixedly stared at each other.

Then the lawyer nodded politely and said: “Now I will know you again. It may be useful in the future.”

“Yes”, returned Mr. Hyde and the way he smiled back sent shivers down the older man's spine. “It is fortunate that we have met; and apropos, you should have my address.” And he gave him the number of a street in Soho.

_Good God! Could he be thinking of the will?_

But Utterson didn't voice what he was thinking and simply grunted to show his acknowledgement of the given address.

“And now”, Hyde continued, obviously getting agitated, “How. Did. You. Know. Me?”

_I must be careful with what I'm saying._

“By description.”

“Whose description?”, the smaller man inquired suspiciously.

“We have common friends”, the lawyer said vaguely. For the sake of his cousin's safety, he chose not to give any names.

“'Common friends'?”, the other echoed incredulously and rather hoarsely, “Who would that be?”

“Jekyll, for instance”, Utterson offered.

“He never told you!”, Hyde blew up, red with anger, “I didn't expect you to _lie_ to me!”

“Come!”, Utterson cried with a frown, “That is not fitting language.”

To that Hyde reacted by bursting into a savage laughter that was even more disturbing than his smile. Then, before the older man knew what was happening, the younger one had unlocked the door and disappeared into the house without so much as a goodbye, slamming the door shut.

For a few minutes Utterson stood there, shaken to the bone from the meeting. Then he left the street and went home. Every few steps, he stopped to take a deep breath.

 _Come on!_ , he scolded himself, _Pull yourself together! You're being hysterical!_

But it didn't help.

_What is wrong with me?_

He had a feeling that this question would never be answered.

Mr. Hyde sure wasn't like any man Utterson had ever seen.

He was ghostly pale and dwarfish, definitely a lot smaller and younger than Dr. Jekyll. There was no sign of malformation about him and yet, he gave off an inexplicable air of deformity. He had dark hair, in the darkness of the street Utterson hadn't been able to tell if it was black or dark brown. But determining the colour of his eyes was just the easier: they were of such a startling green that they almost seemed to glow in the dark. He had a displeasing smile – no, displeasing didn't describe it. No smile had ever been this cold. The man had borne himself with a murderous mixture of timidity and boldness and spoke with a husky, whispering and somewhat broken voice that didn't sound remotely pleasant.

All this in its own made him repulsive enough, but even all these traits combined couldn't explain the deep aversion Utterson was feeling towards the young man.

_There is something else – there must be more! If only I could name it. God help me, this man seems hardly human!_

Maybe it was that strange, dark aura that had made him uncomfortable even from a distance earlier. Perhaps the evil of that man's soul was leaking through and that was what … yes, that had to be it.

_Oh god … for such a man to be acquainted with Jekyll … if I have ever seen a monster, it's him!_

Now he felt even more uneasy. He had to see Jekyll right now and confront him about – wait, Hyde had said that Jekyll wasn't home. But how would that demon spawn know, if he himself had just been returning from god knew where?

The lawyer gritted his teeth and made his way around a few corner into a nearby street full of formerly grand houses. Most of them were now in decay and inhabited by all kinds of people, but there was one house that was splendid and beautiful and still inhabited, although now the lights were off. But still he knew that someone was awake. So he knocked.

The door was opened by a well-dressed, elderly servant.

Utterson asked immediately: “Is Doctor Jekyll at home, Poole?”

“I will see, Mr. Utterson”, the old butler replied, letting him in.

He guided the lawyer into a large, low-roofed, comfortable hall paved with flagstone, warmed by a large, open fire and furnished with expensive oak cabinets. It was the doctor's pride and Utterson was quite sure that this room was the most pleasant one in London. But not even this place, where he usually felt at peace and at home, could calm him down tonight.

As he waited, he tried to get rid of his inner unrest, but the shadows that the light of the fire threw onto the wall seemed to make it only worse.

The demonic, ghostly visage of Hyde was branded into his mind like a burn scar and it made him feel horrible.

_Why do I suddenly feel so sick … so averse to life … what is wrong with me!_

He was ashamed of the relief he felt when the butler came back and announced that Jekyll wasn't home.

When Utterson inquired about Mr. Hyde entering the house from the back door just like that, Poole informed him (to his horror) that, not only did Hyde have a key, but that also Jekyll trusted him enough to order his servants to obey him in everything. And when Utterson asked why he had never met Hyde before, the butler explained that the young man was rarely seen in this part of the house.

This put the middle-aged lawyer even more on edge and he politely wished the butler a good night, before going home.

He couldn't recall when or even if he had ever been as depressed as he was feeling right now.

Memories flooded through his head, of when Henry Jekyll and he had been young. Digging in his own memories, he couldn't find anything that could be put against him. And still he felt tainted, like he had committed an unforgivable crime.

Jekyll on the other hand … he hadn't exactly been a paragon of virtue in his youth either. In fact, he had been a rather wild youth. Only Utterson and Lanyon still knew about the adventures he had been up to.

_Oh my god … what if Hyde knows and is blackmailing him! What does he have that he could put against my friend? What is he doing to him?! How do they know each other? When did they even meet? What does Henry see in him! He is … he is …_

Utterson shook his head. Sure, it was perfectly normal to be concerned for your friend, but this was just ridiculous! He was thinking like a jealous wife, when there wasn't even–

The black-haired man groaned and gripped his head.

_So much for there being nothing that could be put against me. I thought I was over that!_

And the thought that he might have something in common with someone like Hyde, made it even more nauseating.

Knowing that he would get no rest for the night and desperate to confide in someone who wouldn't judge him, he opened one of the drawers of his desk, got out a visiting card and crept into the next room to the telephone. There, as quietly as possible, he dialled a number on the telephone and listened intently.

Finally someone picked up and Utterson was relieved to hear the sleepy voice of the person he was wishing to talk to right now.

“…Hello?”

“Good evening, this is Utterson speaking-”

“Ah, Mr. Utterson! You mean good morning, it's almost one o'clock. I hope you have a good reason for calling me at this hour. It's not exactly becoming for a gentleman like you”, the voice remarked with a light German accent.

Utterson sighed. Of course, what had he been thinking? Of course she would have been sleeping. He really had to be out of his mind, calling someone in the middle of the night, tearing them out of their slumber. Some fine gentleman he was!

Luckily the voice spoke up again, tearing him out of his self-loathing thoughts.

“Mr. Utterson? Are you still there?”

He blinked. “A-ah! Y-yes, I'm still here. I'm truly sorry, Madam. What am I thinking, waking you up at almost one in the morning.”

“Don't mention it. But tell me why you're calling me in the first place. It must be something really disturbing, if you're desperate enough to call me at this ungodly time.”

“It is. It truly is”, Utterson admitted.

The voice at the other end of the line sounded concerned. “You sound like you're crying, Mr. Utterson. What happened?”

“I …” He wanted to tell her, he really did. But now was not the time. He would just … wait, had she said that he sounded like crying? It was only now that he noticed that his sight was blurred with tears and that his voice was hoarse and choking. No wonder the other person was concerned.

“… Never mind. I owe you a million apologies for disturbing your rest, Madam. I will consult you later at five in the afternoon.”

“Are you sure? Are you sure you don't want to get it off your chest now? You called me in the first place, after all.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat. How could a person as open-hearted and empathetic as the woman he was talking to possibly be German? That was incomprehensible!

“No, it's fine. But thank you. It's good to have someone who's willing to listen no matter what time it is.”

He could practically hear the smile in her voice, as she answered: “Please, that's what I'm there for. And God knows, you really need someone to confide into. Just one thing: I already have a visitor at five in the afternoon. But I _am_ free at eleven o'clock. And you would even have more time, since the client I had at noon cancelled her appointment. So come then and feel free to pour your heart out. You know that I will listen to you.”

That answer made him smile as well. “Yes, of course. Thank you. Good night, Madam.”

“Good night, Mr. Utterson.”

Utterson hung up the telephone. He might not have been able to tell what was ailing him just yet, but knowing that someone was willing to listen to his problems even at this hour, had made him feel so much better.

 

* * *

 

In case you're wondering about the telephone - yes, telephones and cameras were already a thing in the 1880s, even though they were more primitive of course. Just like phonographs (the predecessors of recorders).

 


	2. The same chapter from Hyde's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What might Hyde have thought or felt during his first meeting with Utterson?

2\. The same chapter from Hyde's POV

 

It had been a fun night with the whores, but now it was high time to go home. Hyde hated that he had to go back inside what he felt was a cage, but it was necessary. If Jekyll was overly tired tomorrow, people would ask questions.

It was late, the streets were empty.

Just the better. No troublesome brats to run into, no hypocritical crowd to bother him.

Wandering through the town all alone was as relaxing as it was unsettling.

Especially tonight.

The closer he drew to home, the more it felt like he was being watched.

First he blamed it on his usual inner unrest, but then the sensation became so prominent, that he sped his pace.

Just as he had entered the courtyard and arrived in front of the door, he felt a hand on his shoulder and a foreign voice asked: “Mr. Hyde, I think?”

Hyde almost screamed in terror, tore himself away and inhaled sharply. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a relatively tall man with dark and greying hair, wearing a light brown coat and black top hat. Probably around Jekyll's age.

The younger man composed himself and turned his face away.

With a deep intake of breath, he answered coolly: “That is my name. What do you want?”

“I see you're going in. I'm an old friend of Dr. Jekyll's – Mr. Utterson of Gaunt Street – you must have heard my name; and meeting you so conveniently, I thought you might admit me.”

Oh.

So that was Utterson, huh? Jekyll's lawyer?

Hyde dug in his memory, remembered how often Jekyll talked and thought about this man.

Yes, that was definitely him, without a doubt.

“You won't find Dr. Jekyll, he is from home”, he informed the older man and blew the key.

Hah! Nobody knew better than him where Jekyll was right now!

But there was another pressing matter that he needed to settle.

“How did you know me?”, he asked suspiciously.

“On your side, will you do me a favour?”

If Hyde hadn't been suspicious before, now he definitely was. What could this man possibly want from him? He hadn't done anything wrong!

“With pleasure”, he said as calmly as possible. “What shall it be?”

“Will you let me see your face?”

_What?_

Hyde thought for a moment. He hated it when people could recognise him. It increased the risk of getting caught during whatever he did.

_But this man already knows my name! What more does he know about me? Could it be, that–?_

The thought sent a chill down his spine. But then he frowned.

_No! That's impossible! And I'm_ not _a coward!_

And he turned around defiantly, lifted his hat and looked the lawyer into the eyes. In the dim light of the lamp he could see that they were bright, maybe light blue or grey, and very sharp for such an old man.

He also observed all colour drain from the other's face. Typical. Everyone hated his face.

For a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, the two stared at each other, before the lawyer nodded politely.

“Now I will know you again – it may be useful in the future”, he remarked.

_Sure_ , Hyde thought drily, _Useful for you, if you want to apprehend me!_

But instead he forced a smile and said: “Yes. It is fortunate that we have met. And apropos, you should have my address.”

Hyde didn't know, what prompted him to give this nosy stranger his address, but he was too agitated and impatient to ponder upon that – he wanted his own question to be answered already!

“And now: How. Did. You. Know. Me?”, he asked pointedly to get his mood across.

However, the answer was less than satisfactory.

“By description”, Utterson answered calmly.

“Whose description?”, Hyde pressed on suspiciously.

“We have common friends”, the taller man said vaguely.

_Is he bloody serious?!_

“Common friends!”, he echoed incredulously and hoarsely. “And who would _that_ be?!”

It couldn't be, he didn't have any – it must be that bloody bastard from a few weeks ago, when he–

“Jekyll for instance”, Utterson offered.

That was too much. Hyde flushed with anger and shouted: “He never told you! I didn't expect you to _lie_ to me!”

“Come! That is not fitting language!”, the lawyer exclaimed with a frown.

Hyde laughed – he couldn't help himself – and decided that he had enough of this annoying situation. Quickly he unlocked the door and hurried inside, before the other man could stop him. When he risked a sneaking glance out of the window, he saw the lawyer stand there, obviously shaken. Just like all the other idiots he always met.

Then, finally, the man walked away and Hyde sighed in relief.

_I thought he would never leave_ , he thought.

Then he jumped out of his skin again, as a familiar voice cried out: _“That behaviour was most uncalled for!”_

His reflection on the glass cabinet next to him morphed into that of a middle-aged man with blond hair, amber eyes and a stern expression on his face.

Hyde recovered and smirked: “Jekyll! I haven't heard that pretty voice of yours the entire evening, I was beginning to worry!”

“ _Liar.”_

“Oh, am I? If you ask me, you're the biggest liar here.”

“ _At least my lies don't hurt people.”_

Hyde cackled: “Oh, don't they? I wonder how that blasted, nosy lawyer of yours would react, if he found out, just how close we really are? I bet he already has the strangest assumptions!”

“ _Don't talk about Utterson like that! And he will never find out that–”_

Jekyll was getting upset and Hyde knew that he had hit a nerve. Perfect.

“Oh, imagine his face, when he finds out that dear old Harry Jekyll and Edward Hyde are the same person! That his dearest friend has been lying to him all along! What will he do? Will he run away? Will he get angry and yell at you? Will he be heart-broken? Or will he simply hate you from then on? Oh, what would I give to see this!”

“ _You – you bastard! Don't you even dare to – he's a good man, he would never–!“_

Hyde's smirk widened. “Look at you, Jekyll, so defensive over your friend! Is something between you and Utterson that I ought to know about? And I definitely ought to, after all we're _soulmates_ , you and I!”

“… _What are you implying?”_ Jekyll's voice sounded almost as hoarse as his own.

Hyde giggled: “You know exactly what I'm implying!”

Jekyll's face on the glass darkened with a blush. _“H–how dare you! I'm not – I'm a gentleman!”_

The younger man scoffed: “Sure, Dr. Jekyll. Whatever helps you sleep at night!”

 

Later that night, Dr. Jekyll was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. Hyde had returned to his mind and for a while would be silent and resting. Jekyll was alone and had this moment for himself, some time to wallow in his misery. Bitter tears ran down his face and he cursed Hyde for reminding him of the feelings he had pushed back for so long, had tried so hard to forget.

_Just when I thought I was over it … damn you, Hyde!_

He was disgusting. Hyde was just what he deserved and he knew it.

 

* * *

 

Come on! We all know that Jekyll is hella gay for Utterson! And that Hyde would take advantage of that!

 


	3. The session with Lady Summers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet my first and primary female OC, Lady Luise F. W. Summers, a consulting telepath and (kind of) conversational therapist, long before that even was a thing. XD

3\. The session with Lady Summers

 

Lady Luise F. W. Summers, a former German marchioness who had married into English nobility, was a small widow of forty-nine, but blessed with a prolonged youthfulness. She was pale, with yellow hair, blue eyes and delicate features. She had a faintly lisping, sweet and mellow voice that made even a harsh language like German sound pleasant.

And while many ladies envied her for that, everyone agreed that she was quite a strange person. Fascinating, yes, but quite strange.

Lady Summers rarely left her house during daylight, unless it was necessary, and employed an unusual set of foreign servants she had brought from her world journeys.

But there was an air of reliability and sincerity about her and her eyes had a glint of knowing.

She had an unnatural, most peculiar ability she earned her livelihood with: she was a telepath, someone who could read other people's minds. And there was no doubt about her genuineness. Even the staunchest sceptics were convinced after meeting her just once.

Being Prussian, she was sober, outspoken and unladylike, sometimes even brash.

Nevertheless, she was well-liked and not in want of paying clients. People enjoyed her impartiality and mundane charm, her undefinable sadness and tolerance.

“Whatever dark secrets people come to me with”, she used to say, “It's likely that I have seen or heard worse.”

Utterson had known her for almost twenty years and at this point had no more reason to doubt her. And so it came that on this cold, rainy Sunday, he was hurrying through the streets to her residence.

Lady Summers lived in a magnificent house, not far from where Utterson had met Hyde, in fact. It was easily recognisable by the white and dark blue facade and the brass plate at the door that said:

_Lady L. F. W. Summers_

_Honorary member of the Society of Psychical Research_

_Consulting telepath and cert. therapist_

_Consultation hours:_

_Monday to Friday: 8 – 12 o'clock, 15 – 19 o'clock_

_Saturday and Sunday: 10 – 12 o'clock, 15 – 17 o'clock_

_Appointments are to be made in advance._

When the lawyer arrived at the house, the door was opened and he was let in by an Indian butler.

“Good morning, Mr. Utterson”, the man said politely, “Milady is already waiting for you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Singh”, the older man replied politely, allowed the Indian to help him out of his coat and guide him to the Lady's salon in the greenhouse.

She was sitting in her rocking chair, wearing her usual mourning attire and melancholy smile. She stood up to greet her visitor.

“Utterson! It's been a while since our last meeting. Welcome!”, she greeted heartily.

“Good morning. Thank you for sparing time for me, Lady Summers”, he replied.

“Take a seat”, she offered the lawyer and turned to her butler. “Sameer, tell Aoimoku, that Mr. Utterson wants Darjeeling today, with milk. As for me, mint tea with a spoonful of honey, please.”

The butler nodded and left.

Utterson didn't even bother asking how she could tell what tea he wanted.

The Lady sat back down opposite him and wasted no time in small talk, before she cut straight to the point. “Almost ten hours ago, you called me because you stumbled upon something disturbing, as you said on the telephone. I assume you want to recount it, before I add the missing details myself and get a better picture?”

Gladly the black-haired older man took the offer and recounted for her what he had witnessed during the last weeks: his conversation with Enfield, his search for Mr. Hyde and his first encounter with the young man.

Meanwhile he caught a bright flash run across the mentalist's eyes, indicating that she was reading his mind, probably to get a physical image of the man who was repulsing him so.

(Utterson couldn't help but think about how Hyde's cold, bilious green eyes were such a sharp contrast to the calm, ice blue ones of Lady Summers.)

Then she frowned. “Oh dear. That looked disturbing indeed. I can see why you're so worried for Dr. Jekyll. That Mr. Hyde doesn't exactly look like someone I would go through a dark street with. You're going to meet the doctor again soon, aren't you? See what information you can gather from him and if you can find out why he seems to be so attached to him. Tell me about his behaviour the next time you come here. That being out of the way …”

She leaned back in her rocking chair. “Do what you came for.”

A few minutes later found Utterson sobbing in Lady Summers' lap and the Prussian patting his head.

Two hours later he went home, tired and emotionally drained. He was still upset, both at himself and at the situation, but he felt a little relieved. It was good to confide in someone who didn't judge.

 

From the window of her room Lady Luise F. W. Summers watched the lawyer leave.

“Poor man”, she muttered, “I don't want to be in his shoes.”

She really wanted to meet this Dr. Jekyll and give him a piece of her mind. And, of course, find out who on earth this Mr. Hyde was.

 

* * *

 

If you're wondering why anyone would even believe her without a doubt, back in the late Victorian Age, spiritualism and stuff like that were very popular (even Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a fan). So Lady Summers wouldn't have had that many sceptics to deal with.

Btw, Aoimoku is her lady-in-waiting. The name is Japanese for "blue eyes". I'll explain more in a later chapter.

 


	4. Doctor Jekyll is quite at ease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter I shamelessly copied from the book, just with a few extras. I thought it was too important not to include here in detail. But don't worry, there won't be much more shamelessly copied chapters from the book in the future.

4\. Doctor Jekyll is quite at ease

 

Two weeks later the doctor invited Utterson to a dinner party with old friends and that was always a perfect excuse to check on him. As it often happened, the doctor detained him after seeing out his other guests, much to his convenience. Hosts often enjoyed the lawyer's dry company after maintaining the facade of cheerfulness for hours.

Now they were sitting at the fireplace enjoying each other's company.

The black-haired lawyer looked at the fifty-year-old man in front of him. In moments like this one he was reminded, why he never got tired of looking at the other.

Dr. Jekyll was tall and handsome with wheat-coloured hair (even though it was starting to turn grey), a smooth face and gentle light brown eyes. There might have been a sly cast over his face, but other than that, the doctor had an air of capacity and kindness. And his eyes told of the sincere and warm affection he felt for the lawyer who was sitting opposite him right now.

But Utterson had no time to bask in this affection today, much as he would have liked to. He had to talk to his friend.

“I wanted to speak with you, Jekyll. You know, that will of yours?”

Of course he observed how uncomfortable the doctor seemed to be with this topic. So he wasn't surprised, when Jekyll waved it off like it was nothing and changed the subject: “My poor Utterson, you really are unlucky to have a client like me. I have never seen a man so distressed as you were by my will; except for that philistine Lanyon, at what he called my scientific heresies. Oh, I know he's a good man – oh, please don't frown! – an excellent fellow, and I try to see him more; but he is such a hide-bound pedant for all that; an ignorant, blatant pedant! I was never more disappointed in any man than Lanyon.”

That was harsh. Utterson knew nothing about science, but he was pretty sure that it wasn't true and this was just Jekyll being Jekyll. The blond had these tendencies that made the black-haired man frown, but he never said anything about it. It would have been futile anyway.

So, as usual, the lawyer ignored the slandering against Lanyon and ruthlessly stuck to his own topic. “You know I never approved of it.”

“My will? Yes, certainly, I know that. You have told me so”, the doctor reminded him sharply.

“Well, I tell you so again”, Utterson continued with equal sharpness and informed the other: “I have been learning things about young Hyde.”

Jekyll paled and a shadow fell over his eyes. “I don't want to hear any more. This is a matter I thought we had agreed to drop.” His voice was cool and indifferent and Utterson hated it.

“What I heard was abominable”, he insisted.

_He trampled a little girl and his behaviour towards me was just–!_

“It doesn't change anything. You don't understand my position”, the other replied, then added, “I am painfully situated, Utterson; my position is a quite strange one. Talking won't mend this affair.”

_Oh my god, I was right, Hyde knows his darkest secrets, he's blackmailing him, he's doing terrible things to my friend, God knows what he's doing to him, good Heavens, Hyde is going to kill him, my friend's life is on the line, oh my god …_

“Jekyll”, he said earnestly, putting all of his concern into his voice, “You know me: I'm a man to be trusted. Just get it off your chest in confidence; and I have no doubt, I can get you out of your situation.”

… _Henry, I beg you, let me help you, please!_

Dr. Jekyll smiled genuinely again, which already gave the lawyer hope, but then he said: “My good Utterson. This is downright kind of you, really, and I can't find words to thank you for it. I believe you, really; I'd trust you more than even myself, if I could. But it's not what you think, it's not as bad as that. And just to put your good heart at rest, I will tell you one thing: the moment I choose, I can be rid of Mr. Hyde. I promise you that; and I thank you again and again; and I will just add one little word, Utterson, that I'm sure you'll take in good part; this is a private matter, and I beg of you to let it be.”

Utterson stared into the fire, reflecting on what he just had been told, while ignoring the pang in his heart. _Why don't you trust me?,_ he thought sorrowfully.

“I have no doubt you are right”, he said finally and stood up.

“Well, but since we're discussing this matter, and hopefully for the last time …”, the doctor continued and stood with him, “… there is one point I want you to understand. I have taken a very great interest in poor Hyde. I know you two have met, he told me, and I fear he was a bit rude.”

_A bit?!_

The doctor continued solemnly: “But I do sincerely take a great, a very great interest in the young man; and if I'm taken away, Utterson …”

_What do you mean, 'if I'm taken away'?!_

“… I wish you to promise me that you will bear with him and get his rights for him. I think you would, if you knew all; and it would be a weight off my mind, if you promise.”

Utterson suppressed the shudder that wanted to run down his spine. Bear with … _that man_?! Did Jekyll have the faintest idea, what he was asking of him?!

“I can't pretend that I will ever like him”, he admitted.

“I don't ask that”, pleaded Jekyll gently, laying his hand on the lawyer's arm. “I only ask for justice. All I'm asking you, is to help him for my sake, when I am no longer here.”

The lawyer heaved an irrepressible sigh. “Well … I promise.”

_Anything for you, Henry._

 

After Utterson had left, the doctor sighed heavily and retreated to his laboratory to think over the conversation that just had happened.

Suddenly a husky, rather disgruntled voice startled him out of his thoughts.

“ _'The moment I choose, I can be rid of Mr. Hyde', eh?”_

Jekyll groaned: “Not now, Hyde. Leave me alone for once.”

“ _No. Do you seriously believe you can get rid of me, just like that?!”_ , Hyde's voice snapped angrily and he appeared in the mirror, replacing Jekyll's own reflection.

The doctor sighed: “You know I didn't mean it, just please … let me have some privacy. Just for a while.”

“ _To hell with your privacy! You haven't let me out for two weeks! Two. Bloody. Weeks!”_

“You trampled over a little girl and treated my friend like–“

“ _It didn't bother you when I did it, you miserable hypocrite! You're just scared that I will hurt your precious friend. What's with him anyway? No one is_ that _concerned over their friends! He's way too nosy and damn, did you see the look on his face earlier? I bet he thinks that I'm blackmailing you or something!”_

Hyde smirked. “ _You know what, this is funny! I think I should indulge his suspicions, let's see how he will react! I bet he'll be upset, it already riles him up, that you're lying to him!”_

Jekyll glared hard at the younger man in the mirror. “You will do nothing of that sort. And do you know why?”

“ _Oh? Now I'm curious, what are you going to do about it?”_

The blond smiled grimly: “I won't take the potion again. Plain and simple.”

Hyde screamed with rage.

 

* * *

 

This is one of the chapters from the book, but rewritten a bit, in my more modern style, to fit the rest of the story better (because obviously, I can't integrate Stevenson's superb style into my amateur writing). I added a little supplement, because I'm pretty sure that Hyde did not like what he heard during that conversation. And Jekyll is being a dick. But that's nothing new.


	5. The not-quite-murder case

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sir Carew has a lucky streak and so does Hyde.

5\. The not-quite-murder case

 

Lady Summers was on one of her nightly walks, deep in thought.

A few days earlier, a very upset Utterson had called her in the afternoon, reporting what a certain doctor had told him the previous evening. Now she wanted to lecture Dr. Jekyll more than ever. She liked to think of herself as an impartial and non-judgemental person, but with what she knew so far, it was hard not to be angry at the doctor, even though she had never met him personally.

But instead of brooding over it, she had chosen to take a walk through the district at night. That was not something a lady did, but she _was_ an eccentric.

But tonight she had a feeling that something bad was going to happen, putting her on high alert.

Just as she turned around the corner, she stopped dead in her tracks.

There, only two yards away, an elderly gentleman was walking down the street. She recognised his silhouette as that of one of her friends, Sir Danvers Carew.

That alone made her suspicious. _What is Sir Carew doing out here at this hour?_

Then something else attracted her attention. From the other end of the street, a much smaller and younger man walked up, into Sir Carews – and her – direction. When he passed by a street lamb and the light briefly illuminated his face, even from afar, she recognised the visage of the man she remembered from Utterson's memories.

There was something about him, something ominous, that prompted her to continue walking towards them in a much quicker pace.

Now they were within the reach of her abilities.

When she read Mr. Hyde's mind, she almost had a heart attack.

_By Apollo!!! So that's why Dr. Jekyll didn't want to tell Utterson what the matter was!_

As for Sir Carew, he was simply looking for directions to Mr. Utterson, whom he wanted to give a document.

Mr. Hyde on the other hand … she could practically see the brooding anger and underlying murder intent, even twenty yards away.

That prompted her to clutch the handle of her sword cane and start to run.

And right in that moment, the two men met, Sir Carew bowed politely and said something to the younger man.

Lady Summers saw the reaction coming, before it happened. She practically heard something snapping inside Mr. Hyde's mind, without even reading it.

Then he swung his walking cane at Sir Carew, who managed to dodge this first strike, but not the next one. In the matter of a few seconds, Hyde had clubbed him to the earth and was about to beat him to death, when she reached them.

In an instance, she had drawn her sword and was blocking the cane with the blunt edge of it.

The young man's eyes widened. “What the–???”

Sir Carew was quicker on the uptake. “Lady Summers!”, he cried, relief seeping through his voice.

“Good evening, Sir Carew”, she said calmly, not taking her eyes off her opponent. “I trust that you can stand?”

“Y-yes, I think so”, the old man stuttered and slowly got up, while the widow blocked Mr. Hyde's attempts to get past her and finish what he had started.

“Good”, the Lady gritted her teeth, “To Mr. Utterson's office, go down the street, turn left, then at the next corner to the right into Gaunt Street. Hurry.”

He mumbled a 'Thank you' and a 'Take care', before fleeing as quickly as his age allowed.

She sighed with relief on the inside, then proceeded to frown at the young man she was fighting with. In contrast to his shoulder-long, unruly dark brown hair, his eyes were of such a venomous green that it hurt her own blue ones. He had dark rims under his eyes and was of a sickly pallor.

“Glad to finally meet you in person, Mr. Hyde”, she greeted him nonchalantly, “Has no one told you that beating helpless old men to death is cowardly?”

“Shut up”, he growled back. His voice was raspy and high-pitched. “Who are you anyway? And how do you know me?”

She stepped back and smiled enigmatically. “I know everyone at the first glance. But in this case, someone has told me about you and described you to me.”

“That doesn't answer my question!”, he snarled and swung his cane at her, which the blonde blocked with her sword.

She shrugged: “Well, if you must know, I'm Lady Summers, I live nearby. Maybe you have seen my house before. The one with the white and dark blue facade?”

Hyde thought for a second. “No … can't say I have.”

She gritted her teeth again, as she struggled to hold back his walking cane with her own. He sure was strong for his stature – he was very thin and couldn't be any taller than she was.

“Oh, but I'm sure you have, Mr. Hyde. Or should I say …”

She bent forward, close to his face and whispered to him: “… Dr. Jekyll?”

Mr. Hyde turned even paler than he already was. He swung his cane at her again, this time combined with a swing of his fist, which she dodged just in time.

“How the hell do you know?”, he hissed. “What else do you know about me?”

She avoided another swing, looking more nonchalant than she currently felt. “Pretty much everything”, she answered with a shrug. “And stop thinking these foul thoughts about me. I'm not a whore, I'm a grieving widow. Also, you couldn't kill me if I was bed-ridden with consumption.”

He recoiled as if stung by an adder, looking at her as if she had grown a second head. “HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING?!”, he yelled.

“First off, keep it down, it's the middle of the night. Also, you would neither like nor believe my answer to that”, she countered, then added: “That's a nice cane you have there. Ceylon ebony, isn't it? And what fine craftsmanship! Mr. Utterson must have paid a lot of money for it! But nothing is too expensive for your best friends, is it?”

“The hell is wrong with you, you stupid–!“

He flushed with anger and struck again and this time grazed her shoulder, but nothing more.

Of course her intention was to fire him up even more. Sure, it was dangerous to do that with someone like him, suicidal even. But she needed him to pour out all his frustration, to exhaust his rage, before someone else could fall a victim to it.

She explained to the gasping man: “As for how I know what you're thinking – I can read minds.”

He snorted: “Pfff! Sure!”

She shook her head, sheathed her sword and leaned onto her cane to catch her breath. “No. How else could I know your secret? Or the fact that none of you two told anyone? _Or_ the fact that this cane was a birthday present from Mr. Utterson to Dr. Jekyll?”

“Impossible!”, Mr. Hyde insisted.

Lady Summers raised an eyebrow. “And splitting your own soul in two is not impossible?”

 

To this Hyde could find no retort. Then he noticed that she was still settling down from the earlier struggle and smirked: “What's the matter, woman? Out of breath?”

Her blue eyes were blazing, as she leaned onto her sword cane. “Is that a challenge? Mr. Hyde, one doesn't simply challenge a Lady!”

“Who cares. Get the hell out of my head!”

She grinned sassily. “No.”

He snarled and lifted his cane. “Are you looking for a fight, you bloody–“

Her sword cane blocked his normal one. Hyde blinked – when had the woman even moved?

Fiercely she looked up to him from below and growled: “One rule you should always remember: never ask a Prussian if they're looking for a fight. Even if it's a woman. En garde!”

A sword, or rather, cane fight ensued.

It was strangely exhilarating to fence with this strange widow. She was certainly well-trained, but he was quite sure that not even the Prussians taught their daughters fencing.

He couldn't help but briefly wonder, why she was fighting him with her cane instead of the sword, why no one had called the police yet (surely someone had to see them or at least hear the noise!) and why she was indulging him in the first place.

But he did feel the effect. Slowly the anger and aggression he had pent up in the last two months was dwindling and he found himself calmer than in a long time.

He was impressed, even though she seemed to be in a lot of pain for some reason (which made this whole match even more exciting), she easily kept up with his movements.

“You're … quite strong … for a man of your stature”, she gasped at one point.

“And you're … quite a good fighter … for a woman”, he retorted.

_Seriously, how is she doing this? She's a woman and how the hell can she move so fast in that dress?!_

She chuckled: “Good point … thank you! How very flattering!”

Then she attacked and they proceeded with their match, talking all the while.

“Why are you so angry anyway?”, she asked him, while avoiding his cane.

Hyde grit his teeth. “I hate him so much!”

“Dr. Jekyll?”

“Who else! He hasn't let me out in more than two months! I was caged for that long! It was driving me mad!”

She frowned. “That must have been hell!”

“It was!”, Hyde seethed. “Do you know how it feels to be caged?!”

“Sadly, I do”, she admitted. “But killing old men won't make anything better.”

“I didn't kill him!”, he snapped angrily.

“No, but you would have, if I hadn't interfered. You know that you wouldn't have stopped hitting him until he was dead. You would have blindly struck again and again, unable to stop yourself. You would have become the murderer of a well-known and respected member of society and, just in case you forgot, that is a hanging offence.”

The realisation made him freeze and gave her an opening. Before he knew what was happening, Hyde was lying on the ground, groaning in pain and gasping.

“Let's make a deal, Mr. Hyde”, she said no-nonsensically and leaned onto her cane.

Hyde slowly stood up and glared at her. “What shall that be?”, he growled hoarsely.

The woman fixed her widow cap and her coat and spoke: “It's simple. All you and Dr. Jekyll have to do is to tell Mr. Utterson the truth about yourselves.”

_What?! Is she bloody serious?!_

Hyde mustered the creepiest smile he could manage. “And why would I do that?”

“Why?” She smiled back and her smile was nothing but amiable.

That riled him up even further. Why was she not looking at him with disgust and hatred, like all the others? Even though she knew who he was …

_Stop smiling, you smug witch! Or whatever you are!_

The widow laughed: “A witch? Yes, I guess I might as well be one. And to answer your question: if you do it, I will save you from punishment and dissuade Sir Carew and Mr. Utterson from having you arrested and tried. I give you an entire month to fulfil your part of it. What do you say?”

Hyde had to admit that it was a tempting deal. Even if he hadn't succeeded in killing the old man, he would face prison, maybe even transportation to Australia, if the constables found him. And even if they didn't find him, he would be forced to live a life hiding away for at least two years, until everyone had forgotten about him. He didn't want to face either of these consequences. And this woman knew everything about him, even though he had no idea, how. Besides, Hyde wasn't one to resist temptation. But even so …

“Fine. But why are you doing this?”, he inquired suspiciously.

She raised her arms non-committally. “Call it a feminine whim. But you seem to be calming down. Perhaps you should go home now, before the maid who's watching us calls the police. Also, I have a feeling that you won't need as much of your precious formula to turn back tonight.”

Hyde didn't need to be told twice. He ran home, deep in thought about this woman who, about that he was certain, was even stranger than he himself was.

 

As soon as he was gone, Lady Summers sighed in relief and fell to her knees in exhaustion and pain. Suddenly she heard a door open and turned around – the maid who had observed their fencing match came running outside and towards her.

“That was absolutely amazing! You fought that devil like a royal guard, Madam! Are you alright?”

“I'm fine”, the Lady lied, but was promptly punished for it, when she spat blood.

“Oh my god!”, the maid cried, “He injured you! That creature of hell should be–“

“He didn't”, Lady Summers said calmly, “This happens all the time. But if you want to do me a service, you can keep to yourself what you just saw. As for me, I will be going home now. Fighting someone younger and healthier than me has exhausted me a great deal.”

 

Upon arriving at the back door of Jekyll's house, Hyde wasted no time, locked the door and darted into the laboratory to mix the formula. But first he needed time to gather himself.

“What the hell did just happen back there?”, he wondered, turning to the mirror.

Dr. Jekyll appeared in the mirror, looking equally confused.

“ _I don't know, Hyde. But I do know one thing – that Lady saved us as well as Sir Carew.”_

“I guess she did, but why? I don't believe that mumbo-jumbo about a feminine whim. And who the hell is she really?”

“ _I have no idea either, Hyde. But didn't she introduce herself as Lady Summers? I could swear that I have heard that name before …”_ , Jekyll mumbled pensively.

Hyde sighed, changed clothes and mixed the chemical together. He didn't know what prompted him to follow the woman's advice, but to his surprise, she had been right. The half of the usual quantum was enough and after the usual time, Henry Jekyll found himself on his knees in his laboratory. When his vision cleared, he saw Hyde appear in the mirror, looking at him with strange fascination.

With an exasperated sigh, he took Hyde's clothes and folded them (that little bastard could never be bothered to tidy up after himself), when suddenly something fell from the pocket of Hyde's coat.

Jekyll blinked and picked it up. Then he gawked.

It was a business card, or at least it looked like one.

 _What in God's name is this?! And when did she sneak that into m- into_ his _pocket?!_

 

* * *

 

PLOT TWIST!!! SIR CAREW IS ALIVE AND WELL!!! Okay, if you read the summary to the story, you saw this coming, but STILL!!!

Also, just one thing: Of course the Prussians did NOT teach their daughters fencing. They were no more progressive than other societies of that time, when it came to women's rights. 


	6. The letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what that chapter is about. That obviously forged letter Jekyll gave to Utterson. Like, seriously. He should have put more effort into forging Hyde's handwriting, even if their handwriting is one and the same. Anyway, transcribed from the book, but in my writing style, to make it easier to read for you.

6\. The letter

 

The next afternoon Utterson went to visit Dr. Jekyll and confront him about what Hyde had done. The previous evening a slightly battered and shaken Sir Carew had stumbled into his office and rambled about being attacked by some dwarfish, evil-looking stranger (Utterson had no trouble guessing who that was) and being saved by the heroic endeavour of one Lady Summers. After discussing the letter Sir Carew had come to him for, the lawyer had accompanied him home for safety. The old gent asked him to look for Lady Summers, worried for her welfare.

So Utterson had hurried to her home to ask for her. This time it was her Japanese lady-in-waiting who let him in and filled him in on what had happened. Lady Summers had come shortly before him, rather dishevelled and exhausted and spitting blood, but seemingly uninjured. Just in that moment, the mistress of the house herself had tumbled into the room and reassured the concerned lawyer that she hadn't been hurt and that her current condition was a common occurrence.

“Your concern for me is very gratifying, my dear Utterson”, she had said tiredly, “It makes me happy that someone actually cares how _I_ do, really. But be assured, this is not as bad as it looks. I will be bed-ridden for a few days, but apart from that I will be well.”

Then she had bid him good night and he had gone home, deep in thought.

Now he was fuming with anger at what had happened, but somehow he managed to keep up his professional mask.

When he was admitted to Jekyll's cabinet, it was foggy, despite the fire in the chimney and the lamb burning nearby. And by the fireplace sat Dr. Jekyll, looking deathly sick. He didn't stand up, but took Mr. Utterson's hand and bade him welcome.

“Have you heard the news?”, Utterson asked him as soon as Poole had left.

“Yes”, said Jekyll with a shudder, “They were crying it in the square. I heard them in my dining room.”

“One word”, the lawyer said earnestly, “Sir Carew is my client and I can't stand for the wrong that has been done to him. But you're my client too and I want to know what I'm doing. Please tell me that you haven't been mad enough to hide that fellow.”

He would have said 'demon', but he wasn't _that_ impolite.

Jekyll turned even paler and cried: “No! Utterson, I swear to God – I shall never see him again! I'm done with him, I promise you! And even if I wasn't, he doesn't want my help; you don't know him as I do; he will be alright, safe and we shall never hear of him again!”

The doctor was so feverish, so close to hysteria, that it made Mr. Utterson's heart ache.

“You seem to be sure of him”, he stated gloomily, “And I hope that you're right. If it came to a trial, your name could appear and you'd be in–“

“I am! Trust me, I am! No one knows him like I do, even though I can't tell anyone how or why. But there is one thing you can help me with: I have received this letter and I don't know what to do with it. I would like you to have a look first, Utterson – I have so much faith in your sound judgement.”

“Are you worried that he could be detected through it?”

“Not at all, to be honest, I don't even care what might happen to him now. I was thinking of myself and worried that the police might come to the conclusion, that I had something to do with the assault of poor Sir Carew.”

The lawyer wasn't sure why he was so relieved at his friend's selfishness, but finally he caught himself and asked for the letter. It was written in an unusually upright hand and signed “Edward Hyde”. The content was nothing surprising, a brief sort-of-apology to Dr. Jekyll for repaying his generosity so ungratefully and an assurance that the doctor needn't worry about Hyde's safety, that the young man had his own means of escape and would be fine. The lawyer found this letter oddly pleasant, seeing some of his past suspicions unfounded, which relieved him to no end.

But when he asked for the envelope, Jekyll informed him, that he had burnt it and that it had born no postmark, when he had received it. The doctor allowed the lawyer to keep it, because he had lost all confidence in himself.

That was all fine, but Utterson had one more pressing question: “Those terms in your will about your disappearance – did Hyde dictate them?”

“… Yes”, the doctor nodded weakly, looking as if he was about to faint.

“I knew it!”, Utterson said grimly, “He wanted to murder you. You got away just in time.”

“It's more than that”, Dr. Jekyll returned solemnly, “I have learned a lesson – oh God, Utterson, what a lesson!”

“No doubt”, the other remarked, “The man who is to inherit your fortune almost killed an old gentleman and a lady. Lady Summers may be capable of defending herself, but it's all the same. I saw her after the incident, she was in quite a bad shape, even though she told me that he hadn't injured her – she was spitting blood.”

“Oh my God!”, Dr. Jekyll whimpered, “Oh my God!”

Then he buried his face in his hands for a moment. The lawyer tried and failed to cheer his poor distressed friend up, bid him goodbye after a while and saw himself out. But on the way he asked Poole, who had handed in the note that Jekyll had given him. The confused butler told him that nothing had been handed in at all today and that the post had only brought circulars.

_Never mind my hopes from earlier, there is still reason for panic!_

Later that day, he was sitting in his own home, in front of his own chimney, with his head clerk, Mr. Guest, for company. He was hoping that Guest, being a specialist in handwriting, could help him out. After a short conversation, Utterson showed him the letter.

Guest took it with great interest. After studying it intensely, he could tell his superior that, while looking odd and strangely familiar, this was not the writing of a madman.

Just in this moment the servant came in to hand Utterson a dinner invitation from Dr. Jekyll.

“May I see it?”, Guest asked.

Utterson was slightly confused, but handed him the invitation.

When the clerk finally gave both notes back to him, he stated: “Thank you, Sir. That certainly is an interesting autograph.”

There was an uncomfortable silence, in which Utterson struggled with himself, before suddenly inquiring: “Why did you compare them, Guest?”

“Well, sir, there is a rather striking resemblance; these two hands are identical in many ways, only differently sloped.”

“That's strange”, the lawyer noted, trying to remain calm.

“Yes, it is”, Mr. Guest agreed.

“Let us not speak of this again.”

“Of course not, sir. I understand.”

But as soon as Utterson was alone that night, he allowed himself to fly into a mental panic attack. Henry Jekyll had forged for Edward Hyde, that was painfully obvious. His best friend was lying to him, God knew since when.

_Goddammit, Henry!_

 

* * *

 

Yup. "Goddammit, Henry" indeed. I feel so bad for Gabe. And I'm going to torture him some more. I like to see the characters in my stories suffer. 


	7. Doctor Jekyll's exhaustion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rare peaceful moment between Henry Jekyll and Edward Hyde. Enjoy it while it lasts. XD

7\. Dr. Jekyll's exhaustion

 

When Hyde first heard that he was a wanted man for assaulting Sir Danvers Carew, he was convinced that that witch had broken the deal and his first impulse was to find and murder her. But he couldn't afford to come out anytime soon, it was too dangerous for now.

 

But when Dr. Jekyll bought the evening news paper a week later and saw that Sir Carew had decided not to press charges and forgive his attacker, he could have sworn that Hyde was just as relieved as he was. Whoever this Lady was, she had kept her promise.

 _But how can I keep mine?_ , he wondered, as he returned home and closed the door of his bedroom behind himself, _I can't tell Gabe what's really going on. Even if he believed me, he would be disgusted. He would hate me, I couldn't – could never …_

The prospect of the black-haired lawyer looking at him with contempt, of him not wanting to ever speak to him again, was more than Henry Jekyll could handle. It was bad enough that Lanyon hated him now (at least Jekyll was convinced that he did, after transforming in front of Lanyon's very eyes and giving him the shock of his life) but to lose Utterson too – that thought was unbearable.

He slumped down against the door and buried his face in his hands. Despite his best attempts not to cry, choked whimpers filled the room and sobs racked his body.

“ _Oh good grief, don't start bawling on me now!”_

He felt Hyde leave the bedroom mirror more than he saw it.

“Shut up, Hyde!”, he sobbed, “Just … leave me alone!”

“ _Not going to happen, Jekyll.”_

“Leave me alone!” Jekyll screamed in anguish, “Why can't you just leave me be for once? I just want to be al–”

Hyde put a ghostly hand on his shoulder, effectively surprising his counterpart, and reminded him: “ _Jekyll, I couldn't leave if I wanted to, and believe me, I do. You know that!”_

Hyde sighed, sounding just as tired as he was. _“Go to sleep. You're overtired and it's affecting me too, even in this state.”_

Jekyll, knowing that this was a rare act of kindness coming from Edward Hyde, obeyed his other half. He changed into his night gown and went to bed, still weeping, but calmer now.

And even though his sleep was fitful, it was better than it had been in weeks.

His last thought before falling asleep was to find this Lady and thank her for her intervention.

 

* * *

 

 Jekyll has serious Burn-Out Syndrome, wallows in self-pity and greatly annoys Hyde.

 


	8. Dr. Jekyll meets Lady Summers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Jekyll meets Lady Summers in person for the first time.

8\. Doctor Jekyll meets Lady Summers

 

Being as sick as she was, the Lady had been forced to stall most appointments for the next two weeks, as her doctor had insisted that she should rest. And she knew better than to disagree with Dr. Lanyon, when it came to her condition. Besides, the poor man was already enough on edge. She had managed to snap him out of his fatal shock and he had agreed to take care of her as repayment. But Dr. Lanyon was still a nervous wreck, so she was his only patient for the next weeks. He needed the calm and relaxation. Now he wasn't here, it was Sunday afternoon, so she had chosen to leave her bed for a bit and move around on crutches.

When she was resting in her rocking chair in the greenhouse with her lady-in-waiting, her butler came in and announced the presence of a certain Dr. Jekyll.

“Show him in then”, she said gently and a minute later Sameer returned with a tall, blond and brown-eyed gentleman of sombre demeanour.

Aoimoku saw that as her cue to see herself out and disappeared after exchanging a few words with her superior in Japanese.

Lady Summers turned to her unexpected guest and offered him her hand to shake.

“Doctor Jekyll”, she spoke, “Welcome.”

 

Jekyll looked at the Lady in front of him, unsure what to think of her.

He had to remind himself that this was the person who had fought off Edward Hyde with a sword cane, but he could hardly believe it.

How could the frail-looking, yellow-haired widow wearing a black tea gown and sitting in a rocking chair, be possibly the same as the one who had moved so expertly and gracefully when facing his berserk alter ego?

“Oh, don't let appearances fool you, Doctor!”, she laughed in amusement, “Now, won't you take a seat? You stand there all dressed up and with nowhere to go.”

Her voice was surprisingly calm and gentle and her German accent was faint enough to be pleasant.

The doctor blushed bright scarlet and apologised for having forgot his manners.

The German-born Lady waved it off. “It doesn't matter. I don't have the best manners myself, so I won't scold you for yours. It would be hypocritical. Do sit down. You could use the rest.”

He obliged gratefully and sat in the wicker chair opposite to the Lady.

“Lady Luise F. W. Summers”, she introduced herself politely, “It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person, Dr. Jekyll. I knew you would come sooner or later, but I still would have appreciated an announcement in advance …”

“I'm here to apologise”, Jekyll blurted out. Then he blushed at his uncharacteristic forwardness.

“I know you are. But it's not me you have to apologise to”, the Lady said candidly. She pushed the tablet with the tea and cookies towards him.

“Why don't you help yourself?”, she offered, “The cookies are delicious and the tea is from China, just like the pot and cups.”

He helped himself with the tea. Lady Summers was a woman of exquisite taste, he had to admit.

She smiled in amusement: “I'd rather describe my tastes and habits as eccentric, but thank you, Doctor. Now back to the topic: as I just said, it's not me you owe an apology. I did what I had to do and I didn't get hurt. It was the strain of the fight, not Mr. Hyde, that brought on my current condition. It's a common occurrence for me, I will be fine. Who you should apologise to are Sir Carew, whom you assaulted for no reason, when you were Edward Hyde, Dr. Lanyon, who almost died of shock for helping you both and Mr. Utterson, to whom you have lied for months.”

Jekyll felt like he was going to faint. “How do you–?”

“I already told you, Dr. Jekyll”, she replied boredly, “I'm a telepath.”

“That's impossible!”, Jekyll objected. Telepathy was a hoax! It didn't exist!

She smirked lopsidedly: “That's quite rich coming from someone who split his very soul! But I assure you, it's not a hoax. Telepathy is real. Genuine telepaths are just extremely rare. Besides: how would I know your deepest, darkest secret – that you're Edward Hyde and he is you – if not by reading your mind?”

_NO! He's not me! Edward Hyde is not me!_

“He is”, the odd Lady contradicted and the look in her ice blue eyes was piercing. “Whether you like it or not, he is your other half, the darker part of your soul. He is all of your vices and desires personified. You must accept that, if you ever want to find peace.”

“No!”, he shouted, “That's not true! This isn't my fault! This–”

“Dr. Jekyll!”, she barked, startling him. “Sorry”, she apologised, “But you know as well as I do, that it was your decision to split your very soul. And you did it for what purpose?”

He knew that she knew the answer. But he didn't want to say anything, didn't want to give her the satisfaction of giving in. He didn't want to hear anything of what she might have to say. He didn't want to hear her brutally honest words and realise that she was right – she wasn't! She couldn't be!

“This is not about my satisfaction or your pride”, she interrupted his process of thought impatiently. “This is about you accepting your faults and facing the consequences of your actions. I've seen people like you before and let me tell you, such self-destruction and denial is not healthy for your soul – for neither part of it.”

“No more word!”, Jekyll begged desperately. “Please! No more!”

For a while she sat there silently, looking at him sadly, and there was uncomfortable silence.

Finally she stated: “You know … your dear friend, Mr. Utterson, happens to be one of my clients.”

That caught his attention. “He … he comes here?”

She nodded. “Yes. You know, Dr. Jekyll, my work is to give people a chance to pour their heart out and drop their facades and be themselves for a while. Everyone needs someone to confide into, who won't judge them. A shoulder to cry on, if you will. Many don't have someone like that. This is why they turn to me. That's the service I offer to my clients. And in the last months, Mr. Utterson has been in dire need of it. He consults me more frequently than usual. He doesn't show it, but he's been quite miserable these days. And it's because of you. He knows that you're lying to him and it hurts him deeply.”

Dr. Henry Jekyll's heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

“He is one of my few real friends in England, Dr. Jekyll, and I deeply worry for his welfare. I like to think of myself as an impartial person, but when I first saw how much he suffers because of you, my first impulse was to confront you and give you a piece of my mind. But now that I have seen you, all I feel for you is pity.”

_Gabriel suffers … because of me?_

Jekyll's heart shattered into even smaller pieces.

Suddenly his throat felt constricted, he couldn't breathe, he needed to get out, before–

“Go then”, the Lady told him, “But before you leave, one more thing: remember the deal Mr. Hyde and I made that night. I persuaded Sir Carew and Mr. Utterson not to sue him. I'm _shielding_ you both. My part of the deal is fulfilled, so now you fulfil yours.”

“But how!”, the doctor cried in anguish, “How can I tell him? How could I possibly–”

“That's none of my business”, the Prussian answered in an annoyed tone, “But you owe him the truth. Remember, a deal is a deal. You have two weeks left to tell him. As for what he talks to me about – I cannot tell you that. Professional discretion, you understand.”

“Of course I do”, Dr. Jekyll assured her. “Have a nice day, Madam.”

“Goodbye, Doctor. May we meet again on friendlier terms”, she replied and waved.

He left quicker than was appropriate and it was only when the villa of Lady Summers was out of sight, that he could finally breathe again.

 

Meanwhile, Lady Summers was still sitting in her rocking chair, drinking tea and eating cookies. She thought about the doctor. With disdain she looked upon his cowardice and vanity. With pity, perhaps even sympathy, she reflected on the inner torment he put himself through, his self-destructive ways and his fear of reality and losing everything he held dear.

_Such a sorry wretch …_

 

* * *

 

Lady Summers thinks that Henry Jekyll is pathetic. Honestly, I think he kind of is.

 


	9. Unexpected emergencies and realisations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Utterson goes to confront Hyde, something unexpected and terrible happens and he feels conflicted.

9\. Unexpected emergencies and realisations

 

It was one of these evenings when Utterson was out and about. Ever since he had found out that Jekyll was shielding Edward Hyde, a man who had almost murdered someone, his nightmares had returned. He couldn't do his work like this, not when he couldn't think about anything else than Jekyll and … _Hyde_.

It made the lawyer sick.

What did Jekyll see in that creature?! Why was he so invested in him, why did he fancy a man like that, despite knowing that Hyde was a violent madman?! What dark secrets did Hyde know that obliged Jekyll to keep that little devil close to himself? Why did Jekyll shield a bastard like that? And why had Lady Summers, who had clearly seen what the man was capable of, defended him and dissuaded Mr. Utterson and Sir Carew not to sue the young man for the assault? And why did Lanyon, who clearly knew the truth (why else would he have ended his friendship with Jekyll for good, just when they had been so close to reconciliation? What else could have given him the shock he almost died from?), not tell him?

Mr. Utterson was sick of all this secrecy. He would confront Mr. Hyde himself and press the truth out of him, if it was the last thing he did!

He loathed the man with a burning passion.

He knew that was irrational, they had only met once and perhaps there was more to the young man than he let on, but he couldn't help himself! All the terrible things he had done, that the lawyer knew about, and God knew what he had done, that the lawyer DIDN'T know! Had he killed someone before? Hyde was capable of everything, that much Utterson knew.

But it wasn't just concern for his friend that drove the lawyer, as much as he tried to delude himself. Deep down, he knew that he was acting out of jealousy, because Hyde was closer to Jekyll than Utterson himself could ever be. And he hated himself for it.

Lady Summers often insisted that he accept himself for who he was, for his own good. How was that for his own good? She probably had referred to his peace of mind, but he was convinced that in this case he was wrong. His feelings for his best friend were unacceptable. They were disgusting, wrong, unnatural and, since the new laws had been established a few months ago, illegal.

The lawyer was pretty sure, that Hyde had similar … tendencies, and it made him nauseous, that he and that demon should have something in common. But he would not allow Edward Hyde to drag Jekyll to hell as well, ever!

But if Utterson wanted to confront and question the source of his nightmares for good, he had to find him first. He was convinced that it wouldn't be as easy as last time. So this time he would try the address that Hyde had given him. He knew that the young man was usually out and about at night.

So here he was, on his way to Soho of all places, hoping that no one would recognise him and question, why a respectable gentleman should be out at this hour.

It was November, which meant that it was particularly cold. The good thing about this was the lightness of the fog. It remained close to the ground, which made him feel safer while going through the dark streets. When he entered the district, he was forced to go through one of the darker streets, where two lone street lamps were flickering. The lawyer wondered briefly, why the city administration couldn't be bothered to install more street lamps.

And then both of them went out and the street turned dark, safe for the full moon shining above.

“Oh bother”, the lawyer muttered and clutched his cane closer to himself.

“Feels a lot more dangerous to be out at night, once the lights go out, doesn't it?”, a foreign, yet familiar voice suddenly spoke from behind him. He gasped and whirled around.

There stood the very man he had been searching, wearing an expression that was an odd mixture between boredom and curiosity.

Utterson regained his composure and put up his emotionless, professional facade, even though he was pretty certain, that it wasn't convincing at any rate.

“Mister Hyde”, he said calmly, looking down at the younger man standing in front of him.

“Mister Utterson”, the other mirrored the greeting, in a manner that was almost mocking.

“What is a respectable gentleman doing out at this ungodly hour and in this part of the city? This is usually the time for shadier people to go on with their improper business.”

Utterson felt his blood boil, but remained calm.

_He is just as audacious as the last time._

Hyde looked even more inhuman than the last time they had met. The moon light seemed to intensify the deathly pallor of that face and those bilious green eyes seemed to gleam eerily in the darkness of the night.

And then there was that smirk, that unsettling, cruel smirk. Hyde didn't seem to be surprised to see him, not in the slightest. And that put him even more on edge.

 _He has the upper hand_ , Utterson realised, _Last time I caught him by surprise, but now … it's as if he has expected me!_

“I've been looking for you”, the lawyer explained as calmly as possible. “And since you gave me your address, I thought–“

“Oh! You wanted to visit me, how endearing! And why so late at night? I could have been in bed already, you know.”

That would have been a good point, had it not come from Edward Hyde.

“I knew you wouldn't be.”

“Did you now?” Hyde lifted an eyebrow. “And how? Oh, never mind”, he added, when Utterson opened his mouth to speak. “What is it that makes you come to Soho at this hour? It's not exactly a safe district and everyone knows that. The most dangerous people roam the streets at night.”

The small man took a step forward, stood on his tip toes and pulled the lawyer down to his eye-level.

“People like me”, Hyde cooed with false sweetness and the older man suppressed a shudder. His tone was dangerously low and close to a growl.

Then he suddenly let go, making the lawyer stumble backwards a few steps.

Utterson balanced and straightened himself, glaring at the younger man, who just giggled in misplaced amusement.

“Well”, Hyde said all of the sudden in a businesslike manner, “What is it, that makes you want to see me so badly?”

Utterson took a deep breath and finally answered: “You almost murdered two people.”

“Technically, it would be …”, Hyde began to object, but Utterson interrupted him:

“And yet, you get away with it. Why? Why do people defend and shield you, after all the terrible things you have done?”

The thought made it harder and harder to hide his anger.

For the split of a second, Hyde looked confused, then his eyes widened in realisation: “Ah, you mean Lady Summers and Dr. Jekyll? Well, to be honest, I don't know what _her_ reason was. I don't know why she made that bargain with me.”

“What bargain?!”

Hyde raised a scolding finger. “Not telling! That's for me to know and for you to find out, dear Sir”, he replied sweetly. “But let's just say, that it has to do with you. As for the good Doctor … well, he and I share a quite … _intimate_ relationship.”

That was too much. Utterson lost his composure, grabbed the younger man by the collar and looked right into the bright green eyes that were wide with shock.

“Enough of your games, Mr. Hyde”, he snarled. “What are you doing to Henry?! What do you want from him? Is it his fortune?! Of course, what else would it be! Why does he keep you around, even though he knows, what you are?! What does he see in you!? I swear, if you hurt him …”

But Hyde covered his mouth with his index finger, before he could continue.

“Mr. Utterson! I'm not doing anything to Jekyll, I couldn't harm him, if I tried! And now, do compose yourself. Before you say something you might regret!”, he tutted the other man mockingly. Then he stopped grinning and looked at him with a strange expression that Utterson had never seen on his face before.

 _Is that …_ pity _?!_

“Just as I thought”, Hyde whispered and grabbed the hand that was still holding his collar, slowly removing it with his own spidery fingers.

“It isn't very gentleman-like to stalk people out of petty jealousy, Mr. Utterson. You just exposed yourself.”

_He knows! Oh my god, he knows, I'm doomed, what have I done, I–_

The lawyer blushed bright scarlet and began to stutter, which seemed to immensely amuse the other man.

“Ho-how dare you! H-how can you say that – exposed myself?! I just – h-how dare you accuse me of such a vile–! I-I'm not – you – you …”

Hyde shushed him: “Shhh! I won't tell anyone. Not even Jekyll. But you need to stop deluding yourself. You're acting just like him. It's not healthy.”

_Now he talks just like Lady Summers …_

Hyde turned away to leave.

“Don't worry, your secret is safe with me”, he said nonchalantly, without turning to face the older man. “That's the least I can do. Besides, telling someone would be hypocritical of me. And unlike a certain _Dr. Henry Jekyll_ …” he said the name so bitterly, that it sent shudders down Utterson's back, “… _I'm_ not a hypocrite. Nor do I care to ever become one.”

Then he left, turned around the street corner and disappeared, without so much as a goodbye, just like last time.

Suddenly a lot a tension seemed to fall off Utterson's shoulders and he collapsed against the nearest brick wall.

_Oh my god … it couldn't be any worse … now he knows – maybe he even knew before … and then he's telling me not to delude myself … just how much does he know about me … how much does he know about Henry …_

Tiredly he rubbed his eyes. He was just so exhausted and done with everything, with the world, with this life, with the entirety of mankind, with the laws, with all the secrets his friends were keeping from him … _everything_.

Suddenly he was torn out of his thoughts, when he heard voices coming from around the corner, discussing heatedly, and went to see what the matter was. However, before he reached the corner, a gunshot tore through the night and a shrill scream was heard, then steps hurrying away.

When he reached the corner, he was met with an unexpected sight.

Just as he came into the alley, he caught sight of a tall man (at least it looked like a man) in a wide coat and hat, running into a side street. Just as he was about to pursue him, a pained whimper caught his attention.

There, huddled against the wall close to the pavement, lay Edward Hyde, clutching his stomach and groaning in pain.

“Mister Hyde! Oh my god!”

Utterson dropped his cane and hurried to Hyde's side, crouching down next to him. Now he could see that Hyde's gloved hands and the lower sleeves of his coat were covered in blood.

 _What happened? Why did he do that?_ , Utterson wanted to ask, but instead he said: “Let me see that.”

“What is there to show?”, Hyde snarled, gritting his teeth, “It's a freaking bullet wound!”

But the lawyer, thoroughly done with the other's refusal to cooperate, tore his right arm to the side and revealed a dark splotch of blood, pooling from a hole, where Utterson knew the guts to be.

Blood … as a lawyer he was used to the sight of it, but it still horrified him after all these years–

“What are you staring at?”, Hyde hissed, “Is watching me bleed out so fascinating, huh?”

That pulled the lawyer out of his horrified trance. He couldn't let anyone die on him, but–

_There is no but! Pull yourself together! What kind of person are you, if you even think about letting him bleed to death here in the dirt?!_

His conscience decided and he listened to the inner voice that had never failed him so far. He cradled the smaller man in his arms and lifted him up.

Hyde yelped in protest and probably would have trashed around too, if he hadn't been in such enormous pain.

“What the hell are you – put me down immediately – I don't need your bloody – AAHHHH!!!”

His rambling ended in a scream of pain, when his carrier began to run and his body bumped up and down in the lawyer's arms.

“Shut up!”, Utterson growled agitatedly, “You need medical attention fastest possible. Or would you rather bleed to death here, Mr. Hyde?”

At once the smaller man grew silent, safe for the pained whimpers that came with every bump.

First the lawyer was grateful for that, carrying Hyde was hard enough in itself, for several reasons.

But then he noticed that Hyde was beginning to pass out.

“Mister Hyde! You need to stay awake!”, he cried loudly.

The wounded man glowered up at him. “I _know_ that!”, he growled weakly, “But _you_ try that, when you're shot and bleeding out!”

Then a strong shudder racked his body and Hyde began to quiver violently. Utterson stopped to gasp for breath and set the man in his arms down for a moment. The sight was disturbing. The blood loss was becoming apparent on Hyde's face, the deathly pallor was increasing and his skin was ice cold. Without a second thought, the lawyer took off his coat and wrapped it around the small man.

Hyde asked weakly: “What are you …?”

“Obviously I have no medical skills”, Utterson explained, panting, “But I do know, that keeping up the body temperature is important.”

As soon as Hyde was safely tugged into the far too big, but warm coat, the lawyer scooped him up again and proceeded running through the streets, ignoring the icy air that crept under his shirt and waistcoat.

“Where is a damn cab, when you need one”, he couldn't help but curse under his breath, which the other heard of course.

Hyde chuckled faintly: “I'm surprised you even managed to get this far, with such baggage in your arms. You're rather fit for your age.”

Utterson shook his head. “No, Mr. Hyde, you're just that light.”

It was true, Hyde was too light, even for his small frame, but now was not the time to ponder on that. Or on why Hyde had no issues with referring to himself as “such baggage”.

He had to hurry. It was late, most surgeries would be closed, and if he didn't find a doctor in time, Hyde would die.

And, just as if to remind him of that, the man suddenly clutched the dark grey fabric of his waistcoat with his bloodied hands and began to shiver again. His breathing was speeding up, it was dangerously close to hyperventilation. Hyde was panicking.

“Mr. Utterson …”

The older man looked down to find the younger one staring up at him with watery eyes.

“W-we're not going to make it, a-are we? I – I'm going to die! I – I'll bleed to death, before we–!”, Hyde choked, his eyes wide with fear. He was biting his lip, obviously trying to hold back a sob.

“No, you won't”, the lawyer growled, full of determination. “You will _not_ die, do you hear me? I'm not carrying you through London all by myself, just for you to die on me!”

Right in the middle of his last sentence, the clapping of hooves sounded through the street and the next second, a hansom came around the corner.

Utterson almost sighed in relief. But then he remembered, that he had no money on him.

_Who cares! I'll pay, when we have found a doctor!_

“Cab!”, he shouted and the coach halted next to them on the road. The cab driver, a young man, assessed the situation in one glance and gruffly asked: “Where to?”

“Cavendish Square!”, Utterson cried and gave him a pleading look.

“Ge' in an' 'urry”, the cab driver grumbled, “'S free.”

“Thank you, Sir”, the lawyer sighed in relief, climbing into the hansom with the living burden in his arms.

The cab drove through the streets as fast as possible, but it was a rough ride and Hyde groaned in pain with every bump. Utterson was starting to lose his confidence, that he would get the younger man to a doctor in time.

He was loosing more and more blood and growing paler by the minute. He was shivering even worse than before, huddled up in the lawyer's lap, clinging to him like a lifeline.

Suddenly he burst into tears and began to sob, startling the older man.

“Mr. Utterson … I'm sorry … for that earlier … I never hurt Jekyll, I swear … just help me … _please_ , help me … it hurts … it hurts so much … I don't want to die … I don't want to die … _please_!”, Hyde sobbed and pleadingly looked up to him, his face overflowing with tears.

All the disgust and hatred Utterson had felt earlier, was gone. He always had seen Edward Hyde as a monster, a demon, a bane and shadow over Jekyll's life.

But now the very man was crouched in his lap, seriously injured, bleeding, panicking, sobbing like a frightened child, and he realised:

_He's only human. Horrible, yes, but still only human._

“Shhhh”, Utterson mumbled and ran a hand through the other's shoulder-long dark hair to calm him down, “You won't die. It will be fine. You will be fine, I promise.”

“I'm so cold”, the other whimpered, “So cold … and dizzy … it hurts …”

The lawyer pulled Hyde closer to himself. He was cold himself, after all Hyde was wrapped in his coat, but unlike him, he wasn't bleeding out and still had some heat left from the running earlier. He was still warmer than the other.

“Feeling a bit better?”, he asked.

Hyde hummed faintly in affirmation. “You're so warm”, he breathed, barely audible over the rumpling of the coach. “'Ow? I'm much warmer dressed than you … I'm even wearing your coat and yet …” He rested his head against the older man's chest and began to mumble almost incoherently: “Your heart beat … so calm and steady … like you … Jekyll 'ways talks 'bout you, y' know … I jus' drop yer name … an' 'e goes on for hours … showering you with praise.”

Utterson fought off the blush that was threatening to colour his face. He also fought off the sense of exhilaration he felt at Hyde's words. This was not a time to be happy or excited.

Suddenly the grip on his waistcoat tightened and he looked down at Hyde's face. To his horror, he saw the eyelids flutter closed. Hyde was on the verge of passing out.

_Just how long is this cab ride … when are we finally there?!_

“Mister Hyde!”, he cried and the sunken-in eyelids slowly opened to reveal hazy, bilious green orbs.

“I'm tired”, Hyde slurred drowsily. “An' it really 'urts …”

“I know, but you must stay awake! Your life depends on it! Listen … uh, what's your favourite colour?”

Hyde blinked. “My fav'rite colour?”

Then he thought for a moment, only for his pensive expression to turn into a helpless one.

“I … I dunno. N'ver thought 'bout it, I guess.”

“Surely, you must have one!”, Utterson urged. “Just try to dig a little deeper.”

“I can 'ardly think at all”, Hyde objected, “Talkin' is ge'in 'arder too.”

“I hear that, but–“

Suddenly Hyde weakly raised a hand to touch his face. The lawyer almost jumped at the contact with these freezing, spidery fingers.

The younger man's eyes were full of awe. “Tha' look … in yer eyes. N-no one 'as e'er … looked at me like tha' b'fore. Not even Jekyll …” he didn't finish that sentence, but broke into a weak, bitter giggle. “Nice t' know … someone act'lly … gives a damn … if I die …”

_Oh my god, he's delirious!_

“We're 'ere”, the cab driver spoke up from behind, interrupting the conversation.

Utterson looked up and saw that the cab had stopped in front of Lady Summers' house. But before he could ask the cab driver, why he was stopping here of all places, the door opened and out came Lady Summers and (much to his surprise) Dr. Lanyon.

Wasting no time, he jumped out of the cab and ran up to the door.

“ … you for coming, Doctor. It's always nice to have you”, Lady Summers was just saying to Lanyon, who was shaking her hand, replying: “The pleasure was all mine …”, when the sound of Utterson's hurried steps drove their attention to him.

“Help!”, the lawyer cried in panic, as right in that moment, Hyde went limb in his arms.

“Mr. Utterson”, Lady Summers cried, “What are y – _ach, du meine Güte_!”*

She paled, when she saw the unconscious man in his arms.

Lanyon's mismatched eyes widened at the sight, then grew hard, when he saw the face of the wounded man.

_They know each other?_

But then the doctor put on a professional mask that Utterson knew only too well – from himself – and calmly said: “We must not waste any time. Let's get him inside. We need to stop the bleeding and he needs a transfusion at once, before he bleeds to death.”

“Come in, come in!”, the Lady cried and held the door open, while Lanyon helped the exhausted lawyer to carry Hyde inside. Lady Summers led them to the sickroom and the two man placed the smaller one on a cot, while she ran into the hallway, bellowing orders in German at her servants.

The next moment, her Japanese lady-in-waiting, her Austrian nurse and her Indian butler came in with band aids, alcohol, ether and whatever Dr. Lanyon might need to save the bleeding man on the cot. The older doctor mumbled a thank you and went to work.

Utterson couldn't help but admire the efficiency his friend operated with under the dim light of the petrol lamp.

Meanwhile Lady Summers handed something to her nurse and the young woman hurried away with a glass full of dark red liquid.

 _When did she manage to take blood from Hyde?!_ , Utterson couldn't help but wonder.

Within a few minutes, Dr. Lanyon had stilled the bleeding and turned to the other two.

“Done. Now he needs the transfusion. He lost at least two litres of blood, so we need at least four blood donors.”

“There are enough people in this house”, Lady Summers stated, “But there is a problem–”

Suddenly, the Austrian returned and informed her mistress: “His blood fits wiz type 4-.”

“Oh! The rarest! And yet it's so convenient! We have enough donors!”, the Lady exclaimed in exhilaration.

Dr. Lanyon blinked in confusion. “What is the meaning of this?”, he demanded to know.

The Prussian noblewoman hushed him: “I'll explain another time. Conveniently, you two and I have the same blood type as Mr. Hyde. So we all can donate. I'll go first.”**

Lanyon sighed, cleaned his equipment and adjusted his pince-nez: “Whatever. Lay down on the next to him, Milady, we'll insert the blood from your jugular into his, so the blood can spread quicker. Be sure to remain on top of him and tell me, when you start to feel dizzy or drowsy.”

“I know”, she muttered and complied, squeezing her eyes shut.

She gritted her teeth and inhaled sharply, when he inserted the injection needle into her neck.

“Does it hurt?”, Lanyon asked worriedly.

She cracked an ice blue eye open and assured him: “Not really. I just have a phobia of injection needles, but for Mr. Hyde's sake, I will suck it up.”***

“If you say so”, the other said doubting and injected the other end of the tube into Hyde's jugular.

The unconscious man whimpered a little, apparently still feeling the sensation.

Lanyon turned to Utterson: “Utterson, drench one of the tissues with ether and give it to me.”

The lawyer nodded, drenched one of the white cloths in ether and handed it to his old friend.

In that moment, the Indian butler came in with a big tablet full of sandwiches and jugs with water.

Carefully, Lanyon removed the needle from the Lady's jugular, patched up her wound, cleaned the needle and called Utterson over.

“Help her over first. With that blood loss, her knees are probably …”

But the Prussian just stood up and went over to the cot next to the one Hyde was lying on, even though her steps were a bit wobbly and unsure.

Utterson stared at her, then he took her place at Hyde's side. It felt uncomfortable indeed, the needle in his jugular, that was draining his precious blood.

But Hyde's breathing was growing less laboured, calmer and more even than before, and even though his skin was still cool to the touch, the shaking had subsided.

From the corner of his eye, Utterson observed that Lady Summers was slowly sitting up.

“Will you be going to bed, Madam?”, Lanyon asked, but she shook her head.

“Not yet”, she said calmly, taking one of the remaining sandwiches. “You're going to need help, when it's your turn, and I'm an involuntary expert in that area.”

“If you say so”, Lanyon sighed, “Now would you have the courtesy to explain to me what you meant earlier with the blood types?”

“Tomorrow”, the widow said calmly, “When we all have recovered enough to think clearly. By the way, you're spending the night here. I will not have either of you go home in that state. Besides, there is an errant I have to tell one of my servants to make.”

Lanyon stared at her in horror. “Please tell me that you're not referring to what I _think_ you're referring to.”

“Sorry. I am.”

“Are you serious?!”

“Yes.”

“What are you two-”, Utterson began, but Lanyon glowered down at him. “What did I say about talking, unless you're feeling dizzy?!”, he spat.

“Actually, I _am_ starting to feel a little …”

Lanyon huffed. “You're hopeless. Hold still.” He removed the tube and patched up the wound to prevent it from bleeding.

Lady Summers stood and helped the older man inject the needle in his own jugular, then focussed closely on Lanyon and Hyde. When she and Utterson observed, that the older man was beginning to blink, she said: “It's enough.”

She carefully removed the tube and patched up the pierced veins, first on Lanyon's neck, then on Hyde's, cleaning them meticulously.

“Like a professional doctor”, Lanyon stated in approval, which made her smile.

Slowly, he crawled off the cot and examined the unconscious man for anything he might have missed. Finally he nodded in satisfaction.

“It's done now”, he noted with an exhausted smile. Then he passed out.

“Doctor Lanyon!!!”

 

* * *

 

*German for _"Oh my goodness!"_

**Back then, blood transfusions from one human to another were a new area and the blood types weren't known. The AB0-System was only discovered by an Austrian-American doctor named Karl Landsteiner in 1900. But I didn't want to include a hazardous blood transfusion without any regard for blood type, so I made my OC discover them in an experiment. I'll tell you more in a later chapter. :)

***Her phobia of injection needles is caused by trauma, but I won't spoil anything here.


	10. The next morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well … it's the morning after the shooting incident. Utterson is frustrated, Hyde and Lanyon are recovering and Lady Summers is determined to make the story progress.

10\. The next morning

 

When Hyde awoke, it was bright daylight. He squinted his eyes against the shrill sunlight he wasn't used to. But then again, he had never seen the sun, except for that one afternoon, where he had accidentally come out at the most unfortunate time in the most unfortunate location.

_Where am I anyway? It's too bright, I can hardly see anything._

“Oh, you're awake!”

Hyde jumped in shock, but then two small, gloved hands grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back down.

“Calm down. You shouldn't move too much in your condition.”

_That voice! Damn, I still can't see anything!_

“Oh dear. My apologies, I forgot that you're nocturnal. Wait, I will close the curtains.”

Hyde almost sighed in relief, when he heard the sound of the curtains being drawn, dimming the light just enough to make opening his eyes easier.

“Better?”, the voice asked.

He nodded. Only now he noticed that there was a slight pain in his neck, where the jugular was. Not to mention the much worse pain in his guts.

Now, that it was darker, he could finally open his eyes properly and make out his environment. A big, but very simplistic room that he guessed was something of a sick room. He was lying on what probably was a hospital bed or something like that and –

_Wait … I'm in a hospital?!_

“No, you're not”, the voice answered, reading his mind. “You're in my house. Mr. Utterson brought you here, because this was the closest place to get medical attention.”

When Hyde slowly turned to the left, he finally recognised the owner of the voice. It was the woman he had fenced with a few weeks ago. Now that she wasn't wearing her widow cap, he saw that she had yellow hair, matching her ice blue eyes, and a face almost as pale as his own.

“Good morning to you too, Mr. Hyde. You look a lot better than yesterday night.”

When he wanted to answer, he found that he couldn't – his throat was as dry as dust.

“Here”, the woman said and handed him a jug of water and a glass.

He didn't even bother to pour himself a glass, but drank the water straight from the jug.

She chuckled. “It's no wonder that you're thirsty. After all, you lost a lot of blood.”

The woman – no, Lady Summers – stopped laughing. “You were really lucky. Doctor Lanyon said that, if Mr. Utterson had arrived with you only two minutes later, you would have been lost. These two gentlemen saved your lives.”

For a second, Hyde was confused – then he remembered that this Lady knew about everything, which put him a little on edge.

“Calm down. I didn't tell anyone, just as I promised. The only other person in this house who knows, is Dr. Lanyon and he's currently recovering from the stress of yesterday night. As for Mr. Utterson … well, you have yet to tell him.”

Suddenly she took something from a fold of her black dress and Hyde's heart almost stopped. It was a vial and it contained Jekyll's formula. How had she got her fingers on that?!

She didn't answer that question, only smiled amiably. “In fact, you two, I think you should tell him right now! As for how … I think actions speak louder than words.”

 

Utterson was sitting by the bedside of Lanyon, who had just awoken and was still tired. Lady Summers had told the lawyer that the other still hadn't quite recovered from his shock and that his constitution would be weakened for longer than expected. The Lady had assured him that she would take care of his friend and he trusted her – after all, she had a lot of skills that no other lady had – but he was still unhappy.

_Just what is happening to my friends? They both used to be so lively and cheerful and now …_

“Gabriel?”

He looked up and found that Lanyon was looking at him with concern.

It had been ages, since he had called him by his given name and that alone said a lot.

“You look so unhappy. What's the matter?”, the doctor asked him worriedly.

“Oh, nothing”, Utterson answered bitterly, “Just that both of my best friends suddenly are in a horrible state, someone I really don't like got shot and now I feel conflicted and I don't even know why, because no one will tell me what the hell is going on! Forgive me”, he added, when he saw Lanyon's tortured expression. “It's just that … that …”

“It's fine. You're not to blame”, his friend said sadly and took his hand. “But Gabriel … this is a truth you really don't want to know. It's too horrible. You will never be able to look at Henry with the same eyes again.”

“What do you mean …?”, the lawyer began, but in this moment Lady Summers herself entered the room with a plate full of food and jugs and teacups in her hands.

“Good morning, gentlemen”, she greeted them. “I hope you slept well. Doctor Lanyon, how are you feeling?”

“Still a bit tired, but better, thank you, Milady”, Lanyon informed her with a smile, then added, obviously for the sake of politeness alone: “How is Mr. Hyde?”

“That's why I'm here. He is awake. And he wants to speak to you, Mr. Utterson.”

_I have no good feeling leaving Lanyon alone here._

“Don't worry”, the Lady reassured him, reading his mind as usual, “I will sit here and keep your poor friend company.”

“Thank you”, the lawyer said and went to see Hyde.

_Not that I'm expecting someone like him to be grateful for me saving his damned life._

 

* * *

 

In which Utterson is done with all the secrecy.

 


	11. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Utterson learns the truth and is upset, Jekyll is being a whiny bitch, Lanyon is just done, Lady Summers is even more done and Hyde finds the situation really comical.

11\. Revelation  
  
When he opened the door to the sick room, Edward Hyde was sitting upright on his hospital cot, dressed in a night gown that was too big for him and supported by a mountain of pillows, looking a bit tired and waiting for him.  
“Good morning, Mr. Hyde”, he greeted him politely.  
Hyde smiled and replied: “Well, if it isn't my saviour! Good morning, Mr. Utterson!”  
 _I see, his smile has not grown any more pleasant just yet … okay, maybe a bit. At least for now. Must be, because he's tired._  
But the lawyer pushed these thoughts back and nonchalantly asked: “How are you feeling?”  
Hyde shrugged lightly. “Eh, you know … shot.”  
 _His sense of humour definitely hasn't._  
“I reckon you do”, Utterson remarked drily. “But I guess, as long as you can make macabre jokes about the wound that almost cost you your life, you're not on the verge of death just yet.”  
Hyde snickered a little: “No, I suppose not.”  
“That man who shot you … did you recognise him? Could there be anyone, who holds a grudge against you?”  
Hyde raised an eyebrow in amusement and pointed out: “Mr. Utterson, I'm a terrible being. There are countless people who hold a grudge against me.”  
 _Good point. And oh, he's self-aware! Wait … why did he say 'being' instead of 'man' or 'person'?_  
“… But to answer your question – Mr. Utterson, are you listening?!”  
“Ah! Sorry, please continue”, the lawyer apologised.  
The younger man rolled his eyes and continued: “But to answer your question, no, I have no idea who that was. Nor do I know why he did it. Usually, when someone assaults me, they tell me what their problem is.”  
“You get assaulted a lot?!”  
Hyde waved it off with a nonchalant laugh. “Wayyy too much! Either out of jealousy, revenge or simply because they don't like my face. Usually it blows up in theirs, but this was the first time someone pulled a gun on me.”   
He stopped laughing and his expression became so murderous that, for a moment, Utterson was seized by an irrational fear for his own life.   
“And I swear, once I get my hands on that cowardly bastard, he will go through a bloody world of hurt, I will–”  
“Do you really think he's worth being sentenced for murder?”, the lawyer asked him calmly.   
Thankfully that snapped the younger man out of his bloodlust. He took a deep breath and said calmly: “You're right. My apologies. Anyway, if I had met that bloke before, I would have recognised him, even in the dark of the night. But it was completely foreign to me.”  
“What happened exactly? I heard two voices and then the gunshot.”  
Hyde hesitated. For the first time he seemed insecure.   
“I … I don't remember … it's all a blur. I only recall … I … bumped into him … I don't even remember what he said … then he pulled that revolver on me – it went so fast, I hardly saw it! And … and …”  
The memory caused Hyde to hyperventilate and almost lapse into a panic attack, but the older man grabbed him and rubbed his arms soothingly, before it could get this far.  
“Calm down, Mr. Hyde. Take deep and slow breaths, everything is fine. You're safe here.”  
After a while his breathing slowed and he closed his eyes.  
“It was too dark to make out much of him”, Hyde mumbled quietly. “But I remember the frame and the voice. That was definitely a man.”  
Utterson enquired: “Can you describe him to me?”  
“A bit taller and bulkier than you. Two, three inches, maybe. Broad shoulders and short, wild hair, perhaps red or something of that shade, I'm not sure. Was wearing a long coat in a light colour, but no hat. A relatively deep voice.”  
“Thank you”, the lawyer said, “That was helpful information, considering how dark it was.”  
The other hummed in acknowledgement.   
“I'm still going to make him suffer”, Hyde muttered after a while. “That bullet wound hurts like …”  
“You better think about that, before _you_ try to kill someone ever again”, Utterson interrupted him sharply.  
Bilious green eyes opened and blinked in confusion. “What?”  
“Now you know first hand what mortal fear feels like, what it is like when someone tries to kill you for no reason. Keep that in mind next time you lash out at someone for no reason. Because that's what Sir Carew felt like, when you almost beat him to death. He may have forgiven you, but he will be scarred and crippled by the experience for the rest of his life. I hope you understand that now.”  
He hadn't meant to be harsh, but for some reason his anger at the entire situation leaked into these few sentences.  
Hyde's eyes grew huge and he looked at the older man with a mixture of wonder and disbelief, very much like a child marvelling at something new. Then he threw his head back and laughed heartily.  
Utterson felt his left eye twitch.  
 _What the hell is so funny?!_  
“You're a really interesting man, Mr. Utterson! So full of surprises!”, Hyde snickered. “No one has ever spoken to me like that before!”  
“Well, I suppose that I have the honour of being the first, then”, was the lawyer's dry comment.  
“Indeed”, the other replied with a strangely bitter smile. “Not even Jekyll has ever talked to me like that. Usually he just curses me and blames me for everything that goes wrong in his life.”  
 _Oh. That must be frustrating. So much for my suspicions. I can't decide, if I'm relieved or even more worried than before._  
“Alright”, Utterson sighed, “I'm sick of all this secrecy. I want real answers now. What is your relationship with Dr. Jekyll really?”  
The young man looked at him calmly. “Not what you think it is. However, you will neither like, nor believe my answer.”  
“Try me”, the lawyer challenged.  
Hyde's tone became uncharacteristically serious. “I will show you something, then. But I must warn you: it will be a terrifying and diabolic experience. Dr. Lanyon has beheld it himself, even though I warned him against it. His shock did not come from nowhere.”  
 _That sounds a lot like what Lanyon said. But still … I need to know._  
“I take that risk”, he decided.  
Hyde smirked and a hint of the familiar devilish glint returned to his shrill green eyes.  
“Well then, if you would give me that vial with the green liquid? I can't reach it and it's too painful to stretch.”  
Utterson took a look at said liquid, before giving it to Hyde. It bubbled strangely and was of the same venomous green as Hyde's eyes were.  
Then he handed it to the younger man, who took it with the same evil grin he usually wore.  
“You know, if I hadn't given my word to Lady Summers and if you hadn't saved my life, I'd never show you this. It's both mine and Jekyll's darkest secret”, he informed the older.  
“I feel privileged”, the lawyer retorted drily, while he mentally prepared for the worst.  
 _What is that chemical anyway? It can't be poison, if he's going to drink it himself. And what does he mean, it's his and Henry's darkest secret?_  
Hyde downed the liquid in one gulp. Only a few second later his face twisted into a mask of pain, he dropped the vial, it shattered on the floor and he started to wind and scream in agony.  
Utterson jumped out of his chair and wanted to get help, but Hyde leapt forward and caught his wrist in a painfully tight grip, which resulted in a scream, that was probably more thanks to the wound than whatever he was going through.  
“Look … _look_!”, Hyde gasped, then broke into more screams and convulsions, as if he was having an epileptic seizure.   
But despite Hyde's warnings and mentally bracing himself for the worst, nothing could have prepared the lawyer for what came next.  
A change began in the younger man.   
His face became suddenly black and the features seemed to melt and alter.  
His limbs grew longer, his entire small and skinny frame became larger, his chalk white skin was replaced by skin that was a bit darker and rosier. The dark rims around Hyde's eyes vanished, wrinkles appeared here and there, the bone structure changed, his shoulder-long dark brown hair receded and turned blond.   
When the screams and convulsions finally subsided, the lawyer was looking in horror at the shape lying before him, gasping for breath, feeling around and blinking insecurely. It was so entirely unexpected, yet so very, oh so painfully familiar.  
“H-Henry?!”, he whispered.  
  
When Jekyll opened his eyes, at first everything was a blur, as usual. But then he heard a small voice whisper his name and turned to see his best friend stand next to the bed he was laying on.  
Utterson's blue eyes were wide with horror and disbelief.  
 _No … no, no, no, no!_  
His eyes widened and he stretched out a hand. But upon that, his old friend's face darkened and he stood up.  
“Gabe …”, Jekyll begged, but the black-haired man had already stormed out of the room.  
Suddenly a new pain filled the doctor, coming from his heart.   
 _No … I can't lose him, I can't!_  
Jekyll ignored the agonizing pain and slowly stood up. But he only managed a few steps, before his legs gave away and he fell onto his knees. Was it the dizziness that blurred his sight, or was that tears?  
“Gabriel!”, he wailed, but he knew it was too late.   
His dear friend wouldn't hear him, he wouldn't come back.  
It was over. He had lost him forever. Just like Lanyon.  
He was all alone now.  
“No … no …”  
The tears spilled, sobs escaped from his mouth and he began to cry shamelessly.  
He cried for the loss of his friend, for his own regrets, for what had become of Lanyon and what now might become of Utterson and, of course, he also cried because of the infernal pain from the gunshot wound in his guts.  
 _“Oh Jekyll~”_  
He shuddered at the sound of the raspy voice in his head he had grown oh so familiar with. Then he could feel the devilish presence of Hyde surround him, while his evil half continued to whisper into his ears.   
_“Oh my poor doctor. Look at how they all leave you. In the end, your beloved lawyer is no different from all the others, is he?”_  
Jekyll shivered and his throat constricted, as he felt cold, ghostly hands caress his neck and shoulder.  
“How could you …”, he croaked, “He was never supposed to …”  
 _“Oh, but Jekyll! I just stuck to the deal I made with the Lady! That I made to save us both, may I add! She kept her part of it, so keeping ours was only fair. And obviously you wouldn't have. But guess what? I do_ not _want to find out what that little witch does to deal breakers, and unlike you, I am a man of my word! Don't forget, we'd both be dead without her! And speaking of which – your dear friend saved our life last night, even though he hates me. The least he deserves is the truth, don't you agree? Not that it matters. He'll surely hate you now”_ , Hyde stated gleefully.   
The doctor was too tired, too broken, too much in pain to fight Hyde's influence, and had the other not been so severely weakened himself, he would have taken over their body already.   
He felt so dead on the inside, so dizzy and cold. Without Utterson, his life seemed to have lost its last bit of sense and worth. It was all too much and any moment he would–  
Suddenly he was snapped out of his daze, when two hands gripped his own and pried them away from his face. When he looked up with teary eyes, he recognised the blurry shape of –  
 _Can … can this be?!  
“Oh!”_, Hyde's voice called out in surprise and his ghostly presence vanished.  
“And just what do you think you're doing out of bed?”, Utterson growled.  
“G-Gabe?!”  
“Who else?! You didn't seriously think that I would just run off after seeing that, did you?!”  
Now, that his sight cleared, he could see his friend clearly and noticed two figures standing behind him: Lady Summers in her black mourning dress and Lanyon in a blue morning coat, frowning down on the scene.  
The lawyer sighed: “Now back into bed with you, you idiot. How has that wound not reopened from all the moving around?”  
It was only now that Jekyll noticed something. “I … I can't get up”, he mumbled awkwardly.  
Lady Summers spoke up: “You should have thought of that, before you tried to run after your friend. He wasn't running away, he was just getting me, because he was worried. Also”, she turned to Lanyon, “Why are _you_ here? You too are supposed to be in bed!”  
“I was just worried!”, Lanyon protested, “And …”  
“ _Papperlapapp_!* No excuses! You lie down over there. Both of you stay in bed now and if any of you attempts to get up without my permission, _I will bloody chain you to those beds_!”, she threatened. The look in her ice blue eyes gave away just how dead serious she was.  
Both doctors gulped and Lanyon hurried to lie down on the bed next to Jekyll's own.  
Awkwardly the latter turned to Utterson. “Uhm … can you help me please?”  
Then he yelped in pain and surprise, when the black-haired man, instead of just supporting him, scooped him up.  
“Careful!”, Lady Summers and Lanyon cried in unison.  
“I'm trying, alright!”, the lawyer snapped in agitation, carried Jekyll over to the bed bridal style and lay him on it as gently as possible.  
Jekyll felt his face grow hot with a scarlet blush and mentally cursed himself for being unable to hold it back.  
“Hyde was much lighter than you”, Utterson noted and tugged him in.  
“I reckon he was”, the doctor grumbled, trying to ignore the jealousy bubbling in his chest.  
And to top it all off, Hyde started to snicker in his head.  
 _“Oh yes, his arms were really comfortable!”_ , his alter ego cackled from the back of his conscience.  
 _Hyde, shut the hell up!_  
 _“You're so mean to me!”_ , Hyde huffed, but fell silent.  
“Although, my back is still aching and I have cramps”, Utterson continued, “I'm getting too old for this.”  
“It was quite a sight, though”, Lanyon spoke up from the other bed, “You with that little demon in your arms, turning up at the Lady's door and crying for help.”  
Jekyll chortled; he couldn't help it. Lanyon grinned, either at his reaction or his own “funny” joke, the blond wasn't sure.  
“Good to know that you two find that so funny”, Utterson stated, “I certainly did _not_ find it funny that someone got shot and almost died on me!”  
The other two fell into awkward silence.  
“And I also don't find it funny …”, the lawyer continued, dropping his emotionless facade, “… that my best friends have lied to me all this time! Hyde told me that you knew, is that true?”, he barked at Lanyon.  
The other silently looked away, avoiding his eyes. So did Jekyll.  
Utterson threw his hands up in exasperation. “Perfect! Just perfect! Everyone here knew, except for me! That Lady Summers didn't tell me is forgiveable, she practices professional discretion …”   
“I would have told you”, Lady Summers piped up from behind, “But I wanted him to tell you himself and I knew you wouldn't believe it, if I told you.”  
The black-haired man ignored her and went on: “But that my two oldest and best friends have lied to and kept secrets from me all along! That goes too far! Do you have the faintest idea, just how important that information is to me, not only as your friend, but also as a lawyer? When were you planning to tell me, huh? Oh wait, let me guess: _never_?”  
“Same reason as Lady Summers”, Lanyon defended himself, “Also, I still can hardly believe it myself.”  
Jekyll felt anger bubble in his stomach. _Of course you can't, you dogmatic –_  
“And you, Dr. Jekyll?! Why the hell did you withhold that vital information?! What's your bloody excuse?!”  
“What was I supposed to say?!”, Jekyll snapped angrily, “That Hyde and I are one and the same person?!”  
“YES!!!”, Utterson, Lanyon and Lady Summers snapped back in unison, startling him.  
He wanted to disappear and get away from the three pairs of eyes glaring at him; the sky blue eyes of Mr. Utterson, the ice blue ones of Lady Summers and the mismatched grey-blue and amber ones of Dr. Lanyon. All three of them looking at him reproachfully.  
He bit his lower lip.   
_My life is over, they all know, my reputation is ruined, I can never show my face anywhere again, my friends hate me, a foreign young noblewoman has revealed my secret and –_  
“Now you're just being dramatic, Dr. Jekyll!”, Lady Summers interrupted his process of thought rudely and turned to leave.   
“You three settle this among yourselves. I'm a busy woman and need to tend to my duties. See you, gentlemen.”  
As soon as the door closed behind her, Utterson turned back to his friends.  
“Right”, he sighed frustratedly and sat down on the chair between their beds. “I'm sick of the lies and the secrecy. Have been for months. I want an explanation and I want it now. Especially from you, Jekyll. If you ever were my friend, you will tell me everything, and I mean _everything_ , about that thing with you and Hyde!”  
 _Oh no …_  
  
Utterson drew a deep breath, before he spoke. “So … just to make sure I got everything right. You wanted to separate your evil side from yourself.”  
The blond doctor lying on the bed to his right nodded. “Yes.”  
“And you invented a potion … chemical … formula, whatever it is, to do that. And tested it on yourself.”  
“Yes.”  
“But it didn't exactly have the expected results.”  
“No. Instead, an alter ego was created, a personification of all of my sins, desires and vices.”  
“And you named him Edward Hyde. Gave him papers, clothes of his own – because yours obviously don't fit – that flat in Soho and a bank account.”  
“Yes.”  
“And you made him your heir, just in case he would overpower your soul.”  
“Yes.”  
“Then you trampled a little girl, almost murdered a man, got into a fight with a lady and did god knows what – and don't you dare say 'that wasn't me, that was Hyde!'. And shortly after assaulting Sir Carew you were taking a walk in the park, when you suddenly turned into Hyde without taking the potion.”  
“… Yes.”  
“And that's where Lanyon comes in?”  
Jekyll nodded and Utterson turned to Lanyon.  
“You received a letter signed with Jekyll's name, that was actually from Hyde?”  
“I did. But I couldn't tell – it was the exact same handwriting.”  
“Interesting. And you thought that Jekyll had lost his mind?”  
“Of course I did! That letter didn't allow any other conclusion! I mean, what sane person would ask an estranged friend to break into their house, rummage through their things and gather up a set of chemicals?!”  
“I was desperate!”, Jekyll hissed, “That tends to make people sound insane!”  
“But you still followed the instructions of the letter?”, Utterson asked Lanyon.  
“Yes. It sounded serious enough to arouse my concern.”  
“And a few hours after you had arrived at home with the chemicals, Hyde showed up?”  
“Yes. He was wearing Jekyll's clothing, it was way too big for him. It would have been funny, had the boy not been so hysterical. And he had this ominous aura, but I suppose that's nothing new to you.”  
“No, it isn't. And then you let him in and gave him the chemicals?”  
“Yes. We had a short discussion – he wouldn't tell me, who he was and in retrospect, I can't blame him. At that time he was still being searched for, after all. Anyway, Hyde mixed the formula and asked me, if I would allow him to take it home without an explanation or if I'd take the risk and make him show me what it was for. Of course, despite his warning, I picked the latter.” Lanyon smiled ruefully and looked up to the ceiling. “I should have listened to him. The memory of the transformation is a trauma I will never be able to forget. If it wasn't for Lady Summers, I would have died from the shock, but even so, I'm still suffering.”  
Utterson turned back to Jekyll: “And as soon as you were you again, you confessed everything to Lanyon and went home, just like that.”  
“Yes.”  
“And that's why Lanyon wanted nothing to do with you anymore …”  
“ _'Wants_ nothing to do with you anymore'”, Lanyon corrected and threw a glare at Jekyll.  
Utterson ignored the animosity between his two friends for now and ended: “And that's why you isolated yourself from everyone and refused to see even me.”  
“… Yes.”  
“And apparently even Hyde himself is angry at you for some reason. And if you say 'yes' one more time”, he added, when Jekyll opened his mouth, “I will forget my bedside manner!”  
He took another deep breath to calm himself down, but his anger wanted to reveal itself and he was in no mood to keep up his professional mask.  
“And you two – both of you – kept something like that from me. And here I thought I was your friend! Last time I checked, friends trust each other with their secrets! Am I not trustworthy enough?! Well, I'm sorry, that I'm apparently not good enough for you to trust me!”  
“Gabe, please–“  
“Shut up, Jekyll! I'm too angry to hear any of your pathetic lies and excuses!”  
The blond doctor whimpered and shrunk under his glare, and in any other situation, Utterson would have felt guilty, but right now, he was feeling way too upset and angry to care.  
“Gabriel, calm down”, Lanyon began gently and touched his arm in a pacifying manner, but the black-haired man tore himself away.  
“Calm down? _Calm down_?! You two have lied to me for weeks – _months_ in Jekyll's case – and you ask me to _calm down_?! I have been calm for way too long, it's enough! You know what, I ought to leave the room for a bit, before I say things I might regret later.”  
He stood up and rushed out of the room.  
  
If Jekyll's heart hadn't been in shards already, it definitely was now. He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut, but the sobs and tears found their way out anyway and soon resounded in the entire sick room – and to add insult to injury, Lanyon was still here and could hear him cry, which made the whole ordeal even more humiliating.  
He gasped, when suddenly a gentle hand began to caress his hair in a soothing manner. Its owner was sitting at the edge of his bed, stroking his head.  
“Shhh”, Lanyon whispered, when he wanted to question him, and dried his tears with a handkerchief. His grey-blue and amber eyes were full of sadness and disappointment.  
“You know”, he said sadly, “If you just had been honest about your feelings right from the start, all of this could have been avoided. If you just had told us the truth, we could – and _would_ – have helped you, despite our differences. I thought you knew that. That's what friends are for, not just as a last resort, when you get into trouble. Remember that in the future.”  
The white-haired man stood up. “We'll continue this conversation later. I will go and talk to Utterson. You rest now.”  
At the door, Lanyon stopped and spoke to him one last time: “I'm not angry at you anymore, Jekyll. Nor do I hate you. Right now, I just pity you.”  
Then he left.  
  
For a few minutes Lady Summers had been furious. The client who'd been supposed to meet her had spontaneously cancelled his appointment, and she hated spontaneous cancellations.   
But as soon as her butler had announced Mr. Utterson, her fury had subsided and she had re-assumed her countenance as a therapist.  
 _Who cares about that twit anyway, Utterson is my priority now._  
When the lawyer stood in front of her, she didn't even need to read his mind – his face said it all.  
“Come”, she said and he immediately broke down in tears and cried into her lap.   
“That's right. Let it out”, she cooed, “Shhh …”  
After a few minutes of him crying relentlessly into her black dress, she noticed something and looked up. Wordlessly, she waved her new visitor over and he complied.  
“Mr. Utterson?”, she said softly and he looked up in tears. “I think, Dr. Lanyon wants to tell you something.”  
Before the black-haired man could say something or even notice his friend, someone crouched down next to him and took him into a tight embrace.  
“I'm sorry”, the other said regretfully, “We both are. We had no idea, what you were going through. We're sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. But I was scared, confused and shocked and I couldn't handle any of it myself. That's why I gave you that confidential letter. I'm sorry, that I told you to read it only after I'm gone. When I wrote it, I thought I wouldn't live much longer anyway. As for Jekyll, I don't know what he was thinking, I can only speak for myself. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I failed you. And I know that Jekyll is sorry too.”  
Lady Summers watched Utterson slowly calm down and finally reciprocate his friend's hug.   
“It's fine”, he mumbled quietly, “And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have lashed out like that.”  
“Hey now. It's not your fault, my old friend. No one blames you, so stop blaming yourself.”  
Dr. Lanyon let go and grinned at his friend. “I must say, I'm in awe. I haven't seen you this sentimental since … actually, I don't think I have ever seen you this sentimental!”  
“Guess not”, the lawyer replied and dried his face with a handkerchief. “I'm sorry. How unbecoming of me.”  
“Nonsense!”, Lady Summers finally spoke up. “You're human. Humans break down from time to time. I've seen politicians and hardened war veterans burst into tears right in front of me. There is nothing wrong with crying.”  
She turned to the doctor: “Sit down for a while. Since you're here, we will have a chat.”  
“Can't you allow me to get dressed first?”  
She threw him an icy glare. “No. Because as soon as we're done here, you will go back to bed. And no back talk. You're still sick and I will not allow you to exhaust yourself, before I'm positive that you're perfectly healthy. You take such good care of me, so it's only natural that I return the favour, Dr. Lanyon.”  
She held back a smile, when she saw him blush.  
Utterson lifted an eyebrow and recovered his professional mask. But his eyes gave away, that he was snickering on the inside. Alone, he chose not to say anything about what he was observing.  
Lanyon huffed: “So what were we talking about again?”  
Utterson's face darkened: “About how Jekyll has been lying to us for several months.”  
“Oh yes. Uhm, Gabriel, you seem … uh, disproportionately upset about it, especially by your standards.”  
“Well, how did you react, when you found out?”  
Lanyon shrugged: “Well, to be honest, I was less concerned about the lying thing, than about the fact that one of my oldest friends was a wanted criminal. So, I punched him in the face, gave him a talking-to and kicked him out of my house. I'm not angry at him anymore, just disappointed at his behaviour and attitude. But you seem much more hurt than I was. I understand that you're hurt, because he didn't tell you what the problem was, but try to see it from his point of view. Lady Summers, I think you know that better than I do.”  
Both men looked at her expectantly, so she sat up in her rocking chair and cleared her throat, then began to explain: “Well, when he made the chemical, he didn't know that it would work the way it did. And once Edward Hyde existed, he couldn't just tell everyone about it, because – well, they're one and the same person. Being able to assume the guise of Edward Hyde gives him so many freedoms he could never have as Dr. Jekyll. You see, he is so self-repressive and has so high expectations towards himself, that he denies himself everything he enjoys, even the smallest things. Problem is that the dry life of study he leads as Dr. Jekyll is not one he's cut out for. You know that, don't you? That he was rather wild in his youth?”  
She could hear what they both were thinking: _Now that she mentions it …_  
“The Henry Jekyll everyone perceives is but a facade. A facade that suffocates him and sucks all life and happiness out of him, but he never takes it off, because he fears for his reputation. He is so hell-bent on not only being seen as a perfect gentleman, but being one as well, that he wants to get rid of everything that taints him. He doesn't accept his flaws as a part of him. He just sees them as a disease to get rid off, but doesn't realise that the human nature doesn't work like that. Our flaws are a part of who we are, they define us and make us human. There is no such thing as true purity.”  
“Are you saying”, Mr. Utterson asked, “That Edward Hyde is more Henry Jekyll than Henry Jekyll himself is?”  
She swayed her head from side to side. “Mhh, yes and no. Mr. Hyde embodies all of Dr. Jekyll's flaws and desires, all of the traits that he hates about himself. Whatever stays hidden in the doctor comes out in his alter ego. Hyde is cruel, because deep down all humans are, and in the wrong situation, that cruelty reveals its ugly face. You can tell what Jekyll wants deep down, by looking at Hyde. However, Hyde's mind is very warped as a consequence of what he actually is and all of his darker traits are more intense than they would be in a normal person. To say that he's mentally unstable is an understatement. That's what happens when you reject a part of your personality, when your soul is violently torn apart. Dr. Jekyll wants to be a better man, but all he does is destroy himself. Suppressing and rejecting your feelings, wishes and desires isn't healthy – it can have disastrous consequences on your psyche.”  
  
These words reminded Utterson of what Hyde had told him the night before: _“… But you need to stop deluding yourself. You're acting just like Jekyll. It's not healthy.”_  
 _So this is what he meant …_  
Then suddenly something occurred to him: he was fond of Henry Jekyll, but he disliked Edward Hyde. But if Hyde was a part of Jekyll, what did that say about his, Utterson's, feelings for the latter?  
Lady Summers noticed his affliction. “You're conflicted.” It wasn't a question.  
Utterson sighed. He really didn't want to discuss this in front of Lanyon, but since he just had found out about the darkest secret of the two doctors, maybe he could find a work-around.  
“It's just … Jekyll is my friend, even though I'm currently angry at him, but I don't like Hyde, even though I see him with different eyes since last night. But since I now know that Hyde is a part of Jekyll … what does that say about my friendship with Jekyll?”  
“Friendship?”, Lanyon repeated doubtfully.  
The lawyer questioned: “Why that tone?”  
The white-haired man frowned and took his pince-nez off to clean it on his morning coat. “There is no need to beat around the bush. I already know, what you really feel for him.”  
Utterson paled and threw a glare at Lady Summers, who raised her hands in defence.  
“I didn't tell him!”, the Prussian protested, “You know all too well, that I would never do that!”  
“She really didn't”, the doctor came to her aid, “It wasn't necessary anyway. I've noticed it a long time ago. You have a certain look in your eyes, when you think of him. I can't describe it, but I know what it is. I'm not blind, Utterson, so stop pretending. You know Jekyll's and my darkest secret, so the least you can do is be truthful to us and yourself.”  
Lady Summers grinned in self-satisfaction, prompting the lawyer to throw her another glare.  
 _There is no need to be smug about it!  
Oh, but I think there is!_, she answered telepathically, still grinning.  
He groaned, turning back to Lanyon: “You must be disgusted.”  
But the other shook his head and put his pince-nez back on. “I'm not _that_ hypocritical. I once felt the same for him – thankfully that's long over – so I won't judge you for feelings you can't help. I have come to terms with it, so you can talk about it freely in front of the Lady and me.”  
Utterson wanted to cry. He gave his friend a hug instead.  
“You're such a good friend, do you know that?”  
Lanyon chuckled: “No, I'm not. But thank you.”  
  
Jekyll couldn't bear lying around in the sickroom all by himself, while Utterson and Lanyon were doing God knew what (probably talking to Lady Summers).  
He wanted to justify himself, wanted to explain, why he did what he did. And he wanted to do it now. Maybe he would never have another chance again. He remembered all too well how Lanyon, after witnessing his transformation, had informed him that he never wanted to see him again. Surely Utterson thought the same now. But he wanted to at least be heard, before the people he held most dear both turned their backs on him forever.  
But where were they now?   
They had to be here in the house, since Lanyon was sick and Utterson's messy clothing was being cleaned. He remembered that Lady Summers received her clients in her greenhouse and that both his friends were clients of hers.  
So he would look there first.  
Slowly and carefully, he rose from his cot and stood up. His legs were wobbly and he seriously doubted that he would make it all the way to the greenhouse, when his eyes caught sight of something. It was a walking cane – probably made of Ceylon ebony – beautifully adorned with a golden, bejewelled handle. He spontaneously guessed that it belonged to Lady Summers, whom he knew to be immensely rich.  
 _A walking aid_ and _another excuse to go there, how convenient!_  
Of course the cane was too short for him, the Lady couldn't be any taller than Hyde, but it was stable and did its purpose.  
Carefully and quietly as possible he crept down the hallways, until he could hear faint voices talking and smell the scent of exotic plants and he knew he was there.  
Slowly he sneaked up to the door and listened in on the conversation. He knew it was wrong, that he shouldn't do this, but maybe–  
Right now, Lanyon was speaking: “… So let's start again. You were questioning your feelings for Jekyll.”  
It was Utterson's voice that answered: “Yes, that's right.”  
 _Oh no …_  
“What I meant to say is: I don't know what I'm feeling for him right now. Henry is very dear to me, always was and always will be, even though I'm angry at him right now. I …”  
Jekyll could hear him hesitate, which made his heart clench.  
“… Right up to this morning, I could safely say that I loved him.”  
 _He … he loved me? All this time and I never knew? How could I not notice?! God and all this time I thought, that there was no way he could ever – oh, if only I had told him … so that's why he got so uncharacteristically emotional over … oh god, Gabriel …_  
“But I dislike Edward Hyde, even though I see him with different eyes after last night. So how can I, now that I know that they're the same person, still say that I love Henry Jekyll? If I don't love Hyde, who is a part of Jekyll, then I don't really love Henry, right? Doesn't love mean that you take someone with all their flaws no matter how dark they may be? Does that make me shallow?”  
He slid down the wall, clenched his chest and pressed a hand to his mouth to prevent any treacherous sounds from breaking out.  
 _What is that … breaking glass? Oh wait no, that's my heart shattering into pieces yet again! Dammit … if only I hadn't … now it's all too late._  
He forced himself to pay attention to the conversation again and heard the Lady answer: “No. The fact that you worry about this proves that you're not shallow. In fact, I'm glad that you're asking yourself that question. Because if you didn't, if you just decided that you love Jekyll but hate Hyde, or even hate both of them, without considering that they're one and the same person - that would make you superficial indeed.”  
“Oh, so I'm not that terrible a person. That's a relief.”  
Now Lanyon spoke up again: “You're not terrible at all, Utterson, what the heck! But what are you going to do now, with that question in the room?”  
Utterson seemed to consider, then he said: “I want to be able to say that I love him again.”  
Jekyll felt a flicker of hope in his chest. _Does he really mean that?_  
“But in order to properly love Henry Jekyll, I have to love Edward Hyde as well.”  
His hope was crushed immediately.   
Loving Edward Hyde? That was never going to happen, he knew that. Utterson would never truly love him. Once again he cursed Hyde's existence that ruined everything for him.  
 _Why? This is not fair! Why can't he just love me and leave Hyde out of this?  
“Whoa, what the hell is going on here?”_, Hyde piped up. Apparently he had woken up from his one-hour-hibernation. Damn.  
Lady Summers spoke up: “Well, you shouldn't force yourself to love him.”  
“Of course not.”  
“Do you _want_ to love him?”, Lanyon asked. It sounded doubtful and rightfully so.  
“I'm not sure. Right now, I'd tend towards no”, Utterson confessed. “But after what I've witnessed last night, I do want to know him better.” _  
“What is he talking about? Jekyll–“_  
“Well, you always have been a curious individual. So you want to give it a try then? This is going to be interesting – stop laughing, Dr. Lanyon!”, the Lady snapped, when the man began to giggle.   
“I'm sorry. But Utterson and Hyde … as lov- pfff, oh god, I can't! This is …” Then he broke into full on laughter.  
And then Hyde's incredulous voice: _“Wait … is he saying–?!”_  
Jekyll withheld an annoyed groan, when his alter ego joined in Lanyon's laughter with his own evil cackle.  
Utterson's voice was a small aid in blocking out the evil voice in his head.  
“I can't say that I love Jekyll without loving Hyde as well. So yes, I do want to try this, unlikely as it may be. After all, so many unlikely things have happened lately.”  
“That's the spirit. It will be for everyone's good, especially Dr. Jekyll's. And speaking of him – I KNOW, THAT YOU'RE THERE! STOP HIDING AND FACE US LIKE A MAN!”, she suddenly barked, startling everyone, especially Jekyll himself, who froze in terror.  
 _When did she notice, that –  
“Just go! Before she gets even angrier!”_, Hyde cried and for once he found himself agreeing with his other half.  
Slowly and a bit insecurely, he rose to his feet, leaning on the cane and tumbled into the glass room.  
Everyone was, unsurprisingly, glaring at him.  
“And just what exactly are you doing out of bed again?!”, Lanyon growled.  
“What are you thinking, walking around my house in that state?”, the Lady demanded to know.  
“How much of our conversation did you hear?!”, Utterson asked with obvious dread.  
Before Jekyll could utter an answer, Lady Summers rose from her rocking chair.  
“Sit down”, she ordered in exasperation, “You can have my chair, it's more comfortable. I'm surprised that you can stand and walk around at all in that state.”  
With great care, so as to not reopen the wound, he sat down in the rocking chair (while the Lady held it in place for him).  
“Uhm”, he mumbled awkwardly and held out the cane, “I came to bring you this.”  
The Lady looked slightly surprised. “My sword cane! So that's where it was! I have been searching it for weeks and it was in the sickroom the entire time? As a reward for finding it, I will overlook that this was just a sad excuse to come here. But next time you want something, just ring for one of my servants. It was my fault anyway – what was I thinking, leaving you unsupervised.”  
“I'm sorry”, Jekyll mumbled in shame and covered himself with the blanket that was hanging from the back rest of the chair.  
“It's forgiven. Now, would you do us the courtesy of answering Mr. Utterson's question?”  
Everything he could have said was lost in stuttering and intense blushing, much to Lanyon's glee.  
Impatiently, the noblewoman waved her hand. “Thank you, that's enough. We don't need to hear more. That reaction says it all. Do you want some tea? If I remember correctly, Earl Grey is your favourite.”  
Jekyll couldn't help but marvel at the nonchalance she changed subjects with. She poured him a cup, added a spoonful of sugar and a tad of milk.  
 _Wait, how does she know that I prefer my tea like – eh, never mind._  
“You want to justify your actions”, she said, while he was nipping at his tea. “But they are hard to justify. Why don't you try to explain your motives instead?”  
“You already know”, Jekyll stated.   
“I do. But your friends _don't_. And they deserve to know more than anyone else.”  
Looking at his tea cup Jekyll noticed, that it was almost empty.   
_Damn it._  
He drank the rest, before he turned to his oldest friends: “Maybe you remember, that I was … uhm, rather decadent in my youth?”  
“Of course we do”, Utterson confirmed.  
Lanyon chuckled: “Do you recall that one time we got absolutely plastered on a Sunday evening and you were still drunk the next morning? Or when the fairest girl in town tried to kiss you and you pushed her into the nearby pond?”  
“That was an accident!”, Jekyll protested.  
The Lady chuckled: “As amusing as this is, we digress.”  
And so Jekyll went into detail about his revulsion towards his flaws and how he had come to his conclusion, that the human nature was not one but two, at least as far as he knew (at that theory, the Lady shook her head in disagreement, but said nothing).  
But as he was about to finish, Utterson interrupted him: “That is interesting, but still doesn't explain your true motives.”  
“…”  
Utterson frowned: “Well? We're waiting.”  
“I … I thought that … if I could rid myself of my darker self … that I would be content. I thought that if I could separate my evil self, that my life wouldn't feel so empty anymore. That I would be pure and that abstinence wouldn't be so torturous for me. I thought that, if we became separate identities, I could lead a good life and walk that path firmly and securely without risking shame and disgrace, while my evil twin could go on his way, free from all my expectations and pangs of conscience. It would be that simple, I thought. But at the same time …”  
It was hard for him to continue, to admit his more ulterior motives, but he felt so bitter right now and what more did he have to lose? How could it get any worse than it already was?  
“I wanted to be free. Free to do what I wanted, but couldn't, because it would have ruined my reputation. I came so far in science and yet I was just so discontent with my life. Maybe I wanted my life back and be young again, alive and carefree, do what I enjoy and not be ashamed of it. Maybe I was tired of faking smiles and laughs, while I was feeling dead and hollow on the inside, sick of pretending that everything is fine! Maybe I wanted to feel something other than perpetual depression from not living up to the goals I had set for myself! Joy, excitement, grief, anger, anything!”  
He was talking himself into a rage, he wanted to be heard, to be understood, to finally let out all his bitterness without being judged for it.  
“But it didn't work, _it did not work_! Yes, I did manage to split my evil away from me, but even though Edward Hyde was fully evil, I was none the better a person, I was still the same old Henry Jekyll! I'm still so bloody unhappy with my life, but every time I become Edward Hyde, my cares all disappear and it feels so good, it feels so bloody good and I can't get enough of it, I … I …”  
 _“And here we go again: waterworks in three … two … one …”_ , Hyde commented drily, then Jekyll began to bawl.  
Lady Summers handed him a handkerchief out of pity.   
He nodded at her gratefully and continued: “Maybe, if I hadn't approached the deed with such ulterior motives … if my goals had been more noble, maybe then my alter ego wouldn't be –“  
“You're wrong, Doctor”, the Prussian interrupted him.  
Wrong? _Wrong_?! What did this young lady know about science and–  
She chuckled: “I'm flattered that you think me young, but as much as I would love to confirm it, you're wrong there too – I turned fifty on the 15th October.”  
 _She is … only a few months younger than I?!_  
Jekyll looked at her with huge eyes. “You are _fifty_?! But … but … no way!”  
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Utterson and Lanyon grin gleefully.  
“She is, trust me”, Utterson chuckled, “As her lawyer, I have her documents and papers – she was born on the 15th October 1835 in Potsdam, Prussia.”  
Jekyll shot her a glare. “Tell me what your secret is!”, he demanded.  
She smiled and shook her head. “I'm sorry, but I have to refuse.”   
“Why?!”  
“Nobility has their secrets. Although, some day I might be going to consider telling you this one.”  
“But it's not fair!”  
Everyone laughed, when he began to sulk.   
He couldn't help his childish huffiness in this regard. Nor the immense envy he suddenly felt at how youthful and lively this strange widowed Lady from Prussia seemed, opposite to his own weariness.  
If she noticed – and she clearly did – she didn't mention it, choosing to return to the earlier topic instead.   
“Glad that I could lighten up the mood, but to answer your question of how I can tell that you're wrong … well, I'm going to state the obvious here: you played God. And that means something coming from me, because I'm not a particularly religious person. You tempered with something that should never be tempered with in any way. And that is the human soul. You're also wrong with your assumption, that the human nature is not one, but two. It's far more complicated than that, and you can trust me on this, because no one knows more about the human mind than I do. But I see that you're getting tired, we should get you and Dr. Lanyon back to the sickroom”, she suddenly changed the topic – again.  
Jekyll blinked. Him _and_ Lanyon?  
“That's right”, Lady Summers confirmed, “You both will go to bed and rest now, just as I promised – and you will stay there for weeks. You're wounded and your friend is still sick.”  
Lanyon blinked: “What do you mean, I'm fine! Just exhausted from last night!”  
But she just took one of her gloves off and felt the temperature on Lanyon's forehead.  
“Oh no! Is that a fever I feel? You need bed rest immediately!”  
“Don't treat me like a child!”, he snapped.  
“Right now you're as fragile as one, so try to bloody stop me!”, she snapped back.  
“I'm siding with Lady Summers”, Utterson finally spoke up again, “Go to bed, Lanyon. You need the rest.”  
"You back-stabbing weasel!", cried Lanyon angrily.  
Before Utterson could make a retort, Lady Summers ended the dispute with her typical firmness.  
“Go to bed. _This is an order_.”  
The imperious, very Prussian tone of her voice left no doubt that she was serious.  
Both Lanyon and Jekyll gulped and Lanyon muttered something the lines of “Yes, Milady”.  
She rolled her eyes and rang for her servants, who fetched a litter and carefully carried Jekyll back to the sickroom, while she took Lanyon by the arm and lead him there, Utterson following them.  
Once there and with the two patients in bed, Utterson returned to his previous seat on the chair between them.   
Lady Summers turned to them and said: “I will leave you gentlemen alone now, since I have work to do. And you two-” she pointed first at Jekyll, then at Lanyon, “-will _not_ do anything stupid, or I _will_ make good on my promise of chaining you to those beds. Marie and Kasim will bring you lunch at one. And this one is for Mr. Hyde, whom you should let out, before they come to bring the food: _don't_ be rude to my nurse and _don't_ openly stare at her chest. _Ever_. She's Austrian and will not take nonsense from anyone, not even a patient.”  
Jekyll heard Hyde swallow inside his head and informed her: “Duly noted, Milady.”  
She nodded: “Good. See you later, gentlemen.”  
Then she left, muttering things in German under her breath  
  
Utterson stared at Jekyll. It was still hard for him to wrap his mind about the fact that Jekyll and Hyde …  
 _Ugh … I'm giving up. Jekyll and Hyde are the same person, there is no point in pondering on that any further._  
“Soooo …”, he started awkwardly, “How will you transform back to Hyde? I don't assume you have any more of that … whatever it is.”  
“It won't be necessary”, Jekyll informed him tiredly, “I only need it to turn back into myself. In the recent months, transformations have been happening on their own accord. If I grow too tired or let my guard down too much, he comes out. He doesn't even need to try to.”  
“It will be one o'clock soon”, the lawyer informed him, after checking his pocket watch.  
The blond nodded and closed his eyes. But only a few seconds later, they flew open again, he gasped for air and began to convulse, first groaning, then screaming in pain.  
The black-haired man instinctively grabbed Jekyll's hand. That was all he could do. Sit there helplessly, ramble comforting words and hold his friend's – his love's – hand, while he was winding in agony and transforming into someone else.  
 _Oh my god, this is horrible, I can't look!_ , he thought and squeezed his eyes shut.  
Hearing Jekyll scream was terrible enough, even worse than with Hyde, he couldn't bear to see him writhe in pain too. The other was clutching his hand so tightly, that Utterson felt as if his finger bones were being crushed.  
After a while, he sensed the first changes.   
He heard Jekyll's usually gentle and smooth voice change into the high, raspy one of Hyde.   
He felt the large, firm and white hand, that was gripping his own, turn lean, sinewy and deathly pale, could feel the slender, well-groomed fingers of Henry Jekyll morph into the long, spidery digits of his alter ego.  
Eventually, the screams turned into low groans, then into laboured breathing.  
“You can open your eyes now”, Hyde's voice finally spoke and Utterson opened his eyes to find the small, young man lying on the bed in front of him, looking as tired as he had before turning into Jekyll.  
“Interesting, how you care about Jekyll, no matter how angry you are at him”, the brunet noted, then noticed something and lifted a brow. “Why are you holding my hand?”, he inquired.  
The lawyer blushed. “I can't see people suffer and since there was nothing else I could do … uhm, speaking of which, could you please let go? Or at least loosen your grip a bit?”  
Hyde blinked and let go. “Oh. My apologies. I hope I didn't break any fingers?”  
Utterson flexed them. “I don't think so.”  
“Good.”  
Lanyon stood from his bed. “I'm going back to the guest room”, he informed the lawyer, when he wanted to object, “Tell Lady Summers that I'm there. I don't wish to stay here any longer.”  
Utterson knew fairly well, what his friend meant. And it was obvious that Hyde did so too, because a shadow ran over his face, before he shrugged coolly, which didn't escape the lawyer.  
 _So it_ does _bother him, when people are repulsed by his very presence …_  
“Stop right there!”, Hyde suddenly growled.  
Utterson blinked in confusion. “I wasn't doing anything.”  
“I can't read minds like the Lady can, but I _can_ tell that you were about to pity me. I saw it in your eyes. Listen, Mr. Utterson, I'm used to everyone being uncomfortable around me, so there is no need for you to feel bad about it.”  
“That doesn't make anything better”, the lawyer retorted.   
He leaned back in his chair and sighed in frustration: “Now, that I know who you really are … ugh, this is far over my head.”  
“You're still taking it a lot better than Lanyon did, though”, Hyde noted.  
“Maybe I'm also a bit relieved”, the lawyer couldn't help but admit.  
The younger man lifted an eyebrow in interest. “Oh? Why is that? Do enlighten me!”  
 _Might as well tell him … he probably won't be surprised. After what we said to each other last night, before-_  
“I had the wildest speculations on what exactly the exact nature of your relationship to Jekyll was. I can't help but be relieved to see that they're false.”  
“You thought I was blackmailing him, didn't you?”  
“Among other things.”  
“Be more specific. I hate it when people are vague.”  
The older man blushed in embarrassment. He didn't want to admit to his insane suspicions in detail and he feared that the smaller man might be offended.  
“Well?”, Hyde said after a while, impatience clear in his voice. “Go on! Don't be bashful about it!”  
“To be quite honest with you … I thought that you were – or used to be – physically intimate with him and that you were threatening to expose him, should he not do as you wished. And that you were hurting him in the worst ways.”  
The other seemed completely unimpressed. Furthermore, after a few seconds, he chuckled: “I can see, where that suspicion is coming from.”  
His laugh was completely mirthless, but he didn't seem to be surprised or offended at all.   
The older man was ashamed of himself and mumbled an apology.  
Hyde giggled, this time in amusement: “You're actually ashamed of it, how adorable! But let me tell you something: Lady Summers told me, that, before she saw me and read my mind for the first time, she actually suspected that I might be Jekyll's bastard son!”  
Utterson silently admitted to himself, that this thought had occurred to him as well.  
Hyde snorted: “Don't see, why anyone would think _that_ – I mean, Jekyll and I look literally nothing alike! There is not a single feature we share!”  
“But there is”, the lawyer contradicted.  
The other looked at him, as if he had just grown a second head. “You're joking.”  
“I'm not.”  
The young man scoffed: “Is there? What feature do we have in common then, eh?”  
Utterson pointed at his chin. “Your lower jar and chin have the same structure. And the curve of your neck is the same as well.”  
Hyde stared at him for what seemed like minutes, much like a mesmerised cat.  
Then he laughed; but for the first time since the lawyer knew him, it actually sounded half-way pleasant.  
“You actually noticed that! Not even Jekyll and I did! Oh, Mr. Utterson, you really amuse me!”  
The black-haired lawyer frowned slightly. “I can't decide, if I should be flattered or offended.”  
“Oh, be flattered!”, Hyde giggled, “Now I can see, why Jekyll is so fond of you!”  
He stopped giggling and looked at him strangely. “When he isn't busy with work, monologuing, making up excuses or wallowing in self-pity, he thinks about you. And because I'm in his head, when he is in control, I have the dubious honour of having to listen to his every thought. It's so annoying.”  
Utterson couldn't help but smile. Hearing that Henry felt this way for him, made him feel happier than was appropriate.  
“Then I hope, that your annoyance won't stop the two of us from getting along well.”  
The wounded man smirked lopsidedly and the devilish glint was back in his eyes again.   
“I know what you're getting at, Mr. Utterson. Jekyll – and therefore I too – overheard your talk with the Lady and Lanyon and let me tell you, it's not going to happen. As surprised as I am, that you actually want to put effort into this, I will never truly be fond of you. I will tolerate you, because you entertain me. Nothing more.”  
Utterson wasn't surprised by that statement – he had expected nothing less from the young man, who was currently lying on a hospital bed, grinning like he was plotting his imminent demise.   
But he also remembered, how that very man had clung to him the night before, bleeding, sobbing and crying in mortal fear, yet marvelling at the lawyer's display of compassion at the same time.  
He grinned back, something he almost never did, but his fighting spirit was awakened.  
“I accept the challenge, Mr. Hyde.”

 

* * *

 

Utterson takes the news better than Lanyon, but he's still super upset, that he's been lied to by his best friends. Lanyon is still suffering from the shock. Jekyll doesn't have Hyde's gunshot wound, since he wasn't the one who got shot, obviously, but he's still affected. Lady Summers is everyone's nanny and everyone is done with Jekyll's self-pitying. Hyde doesn't quite get what's going on, but he thinks it's funny anyway.


	12. A physical and mental recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone recovers slowly.

12\. A physical and mental recovery  
  
Turned out, that the Lady was hell-bent on keeping Dr. Lanyon as well as Jekyll and Hyde in her house, until they had all recovered.   
Hyde didn't complain. In fact, he was relieved, that he wouldn't be put in either a very dirty or a completely sterile hospital, where he would be subject to prying, judgemental eyes and, even worse, helplessly at the mercy of dubious doctors with questionable methods and unreliable nurses. Besides, this house was an interesting place for recovery and he was certain that he wouldn't get bored here, at least not too often.  
Jekyll shared Hyde's relief, for the same reasons. Also, for some reason the Lady seemed to have more medical expertise than he knew most doctors at the London hospitals to have and the members of her household staff were professional, attentive and friendly, even to Hyde. They soon found out the truth about Jekyll's relation to him, by counting two and two together through the things they observed. But they didn't say anything about it, which he was grateful for.   
Lanyon had protested against the Prussian's paternalism at first, but after a while he stopped and gave up, realising that resistance was futile. Although, Jekyll suspected that his old friend didn't mind the pampering and the company of the eccentric mistress of the house half as much as he claimed. After a few days, she allowed him to walk around her vast London home, after two weeks, she let him go for short walks outside, in the company of one of her servants.  
As for Lady Summers, Henry Jekyll found her to be an even more fascinating person, than he had thought before. She had travelled around the world four times. From those travels she had brought a big, diverse and unusual crowd, who now made up the majority of her employees and all of her household staff. When Jekyll had questioned the Lady about why she had chosen those people specifically to be her personnel, she just had shrugged and said: “For various reasons.”  
She was altogether very vague, when it came to herself and her familiar background. Utterson once hinted, that she was descending from two old prestigious German noble houses, but Lady Summers herself refused to make a statement. More quirks included her irrational fear of injections and hospitals, her habit to not leave her house in daylight, unless she was invited somewhere, her aversion to the members of her social class and her almost morbid curiosity about those very people. She had too many odd idiosyncrasies to list.  
But the Lady was an excellent hostess and an amazing entertainer.   
She had a lot of colourful tales to tell, about the world journeys and the things she had seen and learned. This ranged from the white nights in Russia, over the elaborate gardens in the Middle East, to the tea ceremonies in Japan and the insane adventures she had been up to in the United States. Some of her stories sounded a bit too fantastic. Even so, both he and Hyde found themselves hanging on her every word.  
But what mattered even more to Henry Jekyll than the Prussian Lady's entertaining company, were the frequent sick bed visits of Utterson. He had to return to his work as a lawyer, but still found the time to visit every day. Jekyll found himself living for these evening visits and it seemed that even Hyde seemed to be marginally calmer around the dry lawyer.  
Utterson proceeded to be angry at Jekyll for two days and was disappointed at him for a week, so the doctor feared, that he might lose him forever after all. But after a while and with some mediation from Lady Summers and Lanyon, the lawyer had calmed down and continued to visit.   
He never responded to Jekyll's apologies, but neither did he pull his hand away, whenever the blond took it. On the contrary, sometimes he awoke to the older man stroking his hair. At first, every time Jekyll had woken up, Utterson had retracted his hand. Until once, the doctor had managed to catch it and brought it back into his hair, sighing contentedly as the lawyer returned to running his slender fingers through it. Henceforth, the black-haired man would end his sick bed visits by running his fingers through Jekyll's wheat-coloured hair, until the latter drifted off into the most peaceful slumber he'd had in quite a while.  
  
“You look younger than you have in the last years”, Utterson told Jekyll one Sunday, making the other look at him in surprise.   
“I do?”, the blond asked.  
Lanyon, who was reading in his own bed, nodded. “It's true. Your entire bearing seems to have changed over the last few days. I can't remember the last time I've seen you smile this much.”  
Jekyll shrugged: “Maybe. Perhaps it's because I'm feeling lighter and better than I have in years.”  
Lanyon chuckled – he couldn't help himself.   
“Feels good to be able to be honest about yourself, doesn't it?”, he teased.  
At first Jekyll didn't answer and Lanyon thought that his old friend was just too prideful to admit that he was right. Then, to his surprise, the other whispered: “It does.” And smiled a little.  
Lanyon and Utterson smiled back, before the latter returned to the previous subject: “But seriously. You do look younger. Some of your wrinkles are gone and so are the grey strands in your hair.”  
“Surely that's just you”, Jekyll laughed, “Sadly, I can't grow younger, unless I turn into Hyde.”  
Lanyon shook his head. “You say that, because you haven't looked into a mirror lately. And personally, I believe that Lady Summers has a hand in this.”  
“What do you mean?”, the other man asked in confusion.  
Before he could give an explanation, there was a discreet knock on the door.  
“Come in!”, he cried and Lady Summers' Japanese lady-in-waiting and Indian butler entered with trays of food for all three of them.  
“Milady insists that you eat together”, the Japanese explained, in her unique accent, “She doesn't want any of you alone and unsupervised.”  
“How thoughtful of her”, the lawyer answered nonchalantly, “What are we having?”  
The butler put the food onto the table in front of him and answered: “Today it's chicken curry and rice. The tea is Darjeeling with milk for Mr. Utterson.”   
“Thank you”, Utterson said with a smile, when the Indian handed him the blue tea ensemble.  
“Baldrian with maple syrup for Dr. Lanyon.”  
“Oh, how did she know?”, Lanyon cried in delight, when the white ensemble was placed on the table attached to his bed.  
“And …” A jade green tea ensemble was placed on the table attached to Jekyll's bed, “… chamomile for Dr. Jekyll. No sugar, milk or syrup, Milady's orders.”  
“Ew!”, cried Jekyll in disgust, “Chamomile?! And nothing to sweeten it?! This is just monstrous! Indeed, her evil knows no bounds!”*  
Utterson shrugged and Lanyon began to snicker gleefully, while the servants maintained their polite and detached masquerade, despite their obvious amusement.  
Jekyll glared at them and huffed: “It's not fair. I'm sure, Hyde doesn't have to drink that stuff!”  
“He does”, Lanyon contradicted, “But he isn't as fussy about it as you are.”  
That was only partly true.   
Hyde didn't like the chamomile tea either, but instead of complaining he just pulled a face. The first time he _had_ complained, but Lady Summers had informed him that he wouldn't be getting any solid food, until they could be sure, that his abdominal wound had healed enough. Thus Hyde, to Lanyon's amusement, had adopted the habit of sulking at his soup and tea before drinking with an indifferent expression. Even though the doctor suspected, that the young man was plotting Lady Summers' demise for as soon as he had fully recovered.  
Jekyll on the other hand couldn't see why he, who didn't share Hyde's physical wound, should suffer the same way his alter ego did.  
Utterson tried to cheer him up a little, by pointing out that, unlike Hyde, he got to eat solid food.  
That seemed to do the trick. Jekyll sighed and tried some of the curry and rice that was his lunch. He immediately proceeded to dig into the food.  
“It's delicious!”, he beamed in excitement, “I've never tasted anything like it. Where is that delicacy from?”  
The butler looked very proud of himself, when he informed Jekyll that it was an Indian dish and of his own cooking.  
Lanyon blinked. Why would a butler have to cook, especially when the Lady had several cooks at her command?  
The Japanese saw his questioning glance and explained: “We have the usage in this house to take turns with cooking. Every last week of the month, one of us takes the cook's place and makes dishes from their respective native country, while the cook takes the job of the other. This way no one feels discriminated and we have diversity in our diet. It also helps a little against the homesickness. That was the idea of onee-san – I mean, Milady”, she corrected herself, when the Indian nudged her gently with his elbow.  
Jekyll and Lanyon exchanged a blank look.   
Then they returned their attention to their delicious food and the servants saw themselves out.  
“Is there anyone normal around this house?”, Jekyll asked in exasperation, as soon as they were all finished with eating.  
Lanyon snorted. That question was rich, coming from the man who had split his soul and created an evil alter ego, who had the tendency to break whatever he got his hands on!  
Utterson just shrugged: “According to Lady Summers, no. Furthermore, she assured me that the only 'normal' people in this house are Lanyon and I.”  
“What about me?!”, Jekyll protested loudly.  
That was too much. Lanyon couldn't hold back his laughter anymore and even Utterson couldn't help but chuckle a little.  
Jekyll threw them a mock-glare, before laughing along. So he had been joking.  
The next hour was spent exchanging memories. It didn't escape the white-haired man, the way Jekyll talked about how he saw this household and its inhabitants, the childish curiosity in these brown eyes, that said: I want to concoct experiments on all of them!  
“How long have you two known her?”, the blond wanted to know at some point.  
“Me, twelve years”, Lanyon answered, “She had just fired her doctor, so she came to ask me to be her new one. But I didn't know that she's a telepath until I made a house call and saw the brass sign at her door. Of course I didn't buy it, until she demonstrated her powers so credibly that I had no other choice than to believe her. Needless to say, I was inconvenienced for a week. She sent me apology chocolate and came to visit, though. I've been her doctor ever since.”  
“She really cares about you”, Jekyll remarked, “Even if she has a strange way of showing it.”  
Lanyon noticed the implication in the other's statement, but deliberately ignored it.   
Fortunately, Jekyll got the hint and turned to Utterson. “And you, Gabe?”  
The lawyer told him: “Twenty. I was initially her husband's lawyer and we first met after his death, when I informed her of her husband's last will. I became her and her father's lawyer and took care of their affairs, while they went on a world journey. He died shortly after their return to London and I helped her to settle down here permanently. She became my therapist in return for me being her lawyer. At first, it was a mutual work relationship, but we became friends quickly.”  
Jekyll frowned: “You two have been friends with her for so long and you never told me?! Why???”  
Utterson smirked: “An eye for an eye, old chum!”  
The other's face was priceless. “What?! Y-you didn't even know that – ho-how could you then have done it out of – i-it doesn't make any sense, wha – I didn't even for that long – Gabriel, what the hell!!!”  
Lanyon cracked up again and Jekyll threw him a look of utter mortification.   
“Might as well be, Jekyll! You more than deserve it!”, he snickered. Then he cleared his throat, trying to be more serious. It didn't work. He burst into giggle again.  
Utterson managed much better, as was his way. “But seriously, she asked us not to tell anyone, that we're associating with a medium. She thought, that you wouldn't take us seriously anymore. Besides, she is the kind of woman, who doesn't approach people of her own. She just lets them come to her. She told me that the only reason she approached you and Hyde was, because it was an emergency. Also, she expects clients to be as discreet about her as she is with them. Mutual silence, if you will call it that.”  
“Oh.”  
“Apparently, she also pities you”, Lanyon added.  
Jekyll hesitated. “I know. She told me so, a few days before … before Hyde got shot.”  
That made the white-haired man perk up. “So you already knew her? I mean, as yourself and not as Hyde? I know that you met her as him first, because Utterson told me that it was her, who saved Carew, when … when …”  
_When you almost murdered him._  
But he didn't speak that aloud, for he had seen it. The pained look in Henry Jekyll's eyes. And so he didn't finish his sentence. But he knew that Jekyll knew what he had meant.  
Utterson seemed to sense the sudden change in their mood (he'd always had a sense for that) and tried to change the topic, but it didn't work.  
Uncomfortable silence ensued.  
Eventually Jekyll begged Utterson: “Gabe, can you go outside, please? I need to talk to Lanyon one-on-one.”  
“Of course”, the lawyer complied and left the room.  
Lanyon frowned at Jekyll: “That was rude of you.”  
The blond groaned: “You don't need to tell me, what I already know.”  
Lanyon felt his amber-coloured eye twitch.  
“Henry Jekyll, you better choose your next words carefully-”  
“I have!”, Jekyll interrupted him, “I have chosen my words carefully! You have no idea, how long I have wanted to tell you what I'm about to say! Listen, I …”  
He trailed off.  
“Well? I'm all ears!”  
“I'm sorry!”, Jekyll blurted out, startling him.  
Lanyon stared at the other doctor in surprise.  
Then he took a deep breath and composed himself. “I can't follow. Be more specific, please.”  
_If this is about the shock he gave me with his god damn transformation, I swear-_  
Jekyll gulped, before he began: “I'm sorry. I'm sorry, that I always called you a philistine and a pedant, when you were being practical and realistic …”  
_Damn right, you should be sorry for that, you twit!_  
“I'm sorry, that I laughed at your pony tail that one time, when we were at the university. I'm sorry, that I rubbed my membership in the Royal Society into your face so savagely …”  
_Oh, I remember that. Never thought I would hear him apologise for it. Not that I'm complaining-_  
“I'm sorry for all the times I left you waiting at places, because I holed myself up in my lab and forgot that we were supposed to meet.”  
_You went down on your knees and begged me for another chance every time it happened. And whenever I gave you one, it happened again-_  
“I'm sorry for the shock you suffered a few weeks ago.”  
Lanyon laughed bitterly: “Why are you apologising for that? It's not like you (that is, Mr. Hyde) didn't give me a fair warning – yet I chose to see the transformation anyway. It wasn't just the transformation that traumatised me, even though it was horrible. What really terrified me was …”  
He hesitated, before continuing softly: “Henry … you almost became a murderer. Lady Summers didn't just save Sir Carew's life, she saved yours as well. I'm sure, that Hyde knows that – Utterson said something about a deal he made with her. I was terrified of what you're capable of, when you're Hyde. Don't you dare deny it!”, he added, when the younger doctor opened his mouth, “Don't you dare claim that it wasn't your fault, because you weren't in control or some gibberish like that. That's just irresponsible and cowardly. And that's not the person I befriended all these years ago.”  
“That was forty years ago”, Jekyll muttered.  
Lanyon smiled: “Do you remember that, Henry? The day we met each other at boarding school?”  
Jekyll smiled back. “How could I ever forget that?”, he responded. “I was ten and new at school, you were eleven. I was talking to Gabe during lunch break, when I noticed you sitting all alone in a corner. I asked him, who you were, and he told me that you were a second-grader, who got bullied for a reason he didn't know.”  
“Yes”, Lanyon remembered sadly. “And then you two came up to me and asked me what the matter was.”  
“And you were wearing those ridiculous shades.”  
“So no one would see my eyes, because they were the reason, why I was teased. And then you talked to me in a friendly manner. At first I was apprehensive, because I thought, that you just wanted to tease me, like all the others. But when you persuaded me to take off the shades, my differently coloured eyes didn't bother you at all. Then we finally introduced ourselves to each other and that's how we became friends.”  
_And you had that gleam in your eyes. You were so idealistic and full of dreams and had such a bright smile. I was so taken by it, I couldn't help but be fond of you._  
“You still wear shades, don't you?”, Jekyll questioned, “When you leave the house. When you came to the last dinner I invited you to, I spied you exchange them with your pince-nez.”  
“I do”, Lanyon confirmed. It still happened, that people saw his mismatched eyes and looked at him as if he was a freak show. And he hated it. He hated all the painful memories that were tied to it. And speaking of painful memories …  
“Which brings me to the next point”, the other spoke. “Lanyon …”  
The addressed blinked and looked at Jekyll curiously. The sudden change in the blond's voice had got his attention.  
“I'm sorry for what I said ten years ago. I'm so awfully sorry. I'm sorry for the hurtful things I said to you during the argument that estranged us. You deserved nothing of it, and it was all wrong.  I'm sorry for punching you and breaking your nose. But most of all …”  
His voice was broken and quiet now and he looked away, when he finished his sentence: “I'm sorry, that I called your eyes 'freaky'. I want to say, that I didn't mean it, but in retrospect … I think, in that moment, I meant everything I said. I'm sorry for breaking the promise I had made to you, when we were boys. I'm … I'm so sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry, that I broke your heart … listen, Hastie, I don't expect you to forgive me, I just want you to know … oh god, I'm so sorry …”  
Lanyon had heard enough. Wordlessly he stood up, came to Jekyll's bed and embraced him, cradling his upper body in his arms.  
“About bloody time, you git”, he muttered crossly, “Do you have the faintest idea, how long I have waited for a proper apology?”  
“Don't know. Ten years?”, Jekyll half-joked.  
“Damn right!”, the white-haired man croaked.  
Then they both burst into tears.  
Later they were joined by a pleasantly surprised Utterson, who was delighted, when he heard, that they had reconciled for good.  
  
“I see, you two finally got some closure”, Lady Summers remarked, when she learned of what had occurred between the two doctors. She didn't seem surprised, but pleased none the less.  
Now she was sitting with them, drinking her peppermint tea and being her usual calm self.  
At first, Jekyll had thought that either the Prussian was generally of calm temper or just had a stunning amount of self-control. Both seemed very admirable in his eyes.   
However, Lanyon had told him, that once he had witnessed the Lady fly into a rage after receiving a cable from her relatives in Germany.**  
So he had a hunch that he was treading on thin ice, when he asked her: “Why do you never talk about your family, Milady?”  
She paused in her movements and her ice-blue eyes grew hard for a second, before she took a deep breath and slowly explained: “I'm not fond of them. There are some relatives I'm fond of, but due to their position, talking about them would be too delicate. But the rest of my family can go to hell, for all I care.”  
“Harsh words”, Jekyll muttered. But he couldn't say, that he didn't know, where her resentment was coming from. He remembered his own parents. His relationship to them had never been a loving one either, even though they had born the facade of it.  
“What about your parents?”, he asked carefully. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lanyon wince.  
The Lady shrugged. “Us Prussians aren't known for loving family relationships.”  
Jekyll wanted to know more, but he also knew that he shouldn't pry further into it. It was none of his business anyway.  
“Good decision”, Lady Summers complimented him. “One day, if I trust you enough, I might choose to enlighten you. But until then, Dr. Jekyll, it would be wiser to drop the subject.”  
The last sentence was spoken with a slightly sharp edge and the doctor got the hint.   
But she seemed to sense his tension at her reaction, as she accommodated him in one thing: “You have the permission to ask me about my titles.”  
Jekyll inhaled and questioned: “You have mentioned, that you're a high-born aristocrat. And Utterson told me that you descend from two very prestigious dynasties.”  
“… You could say that”, she half-confirmed vaguely.  
“So, what exactly is your rank?”  
She smiled drily in return. “I can't give away half of it, but I will tell you this much: Marchioness of Brandenburg, Countess of Calenberg and through my marriage Countess of Cornwall. If I remember correctly, it was a gift from the Prince of Wales to my father-in-law, as a reward for certain services. But I'm also an honorary member of the Society of Psychic Research and many more, but it would take hours to name them. Besides, all those titles tend to intimidate people. That's one reason the sign at my door only mentions my profession as a telepath and therapist. That's all people need to know anyway.”  
“You must be in high demand”, Jekyll noted, to which the Lady nodded in confirmation.  
“Oh yes, I am. And that allows me to be choosy. It also depends on whether they request my help as a therapist or as a consulting telepath.”  
Jekyll threw a questioning glance at Lanyon, who explained: “She treats those works separately, because the information she deals with as a therapist is much more private than as a consulting telepath. The latter work is more public, she says.”  
“That's right”, Lady Summers confirmed, “As a consulting telepath, I deal with people, who have questions about more mundane things – mostly about the credibility of others, about their feelings, whether a match or trade would be beneficial, etc.. Those are people, who don't need to come to me more than once. My other clients request me as a therapist, because they have problems that require long-term treatment. That can last for years, if the issues go deep enough.”  
That brought them to the topic that Jekyll had had on his mind for a few days, since his secret had been revealed to Utterson.   
In his head, he had discussed this with Hyde and they had come to a rare agreement.  
“Milady”, he whispered and she tilted her head curiously. “Would you … consider …”  
It was so shameful to ask for help from someone else, especially when it came to his mental health. It was even more shameful to admit, that he needed help at all.  
“Would you take me … as your client?”, he finally mumbled awkwardly.  
To his surprise, she responded with an oddly gentle smile and excused herself for a moment, only to return with a few papers, pen and ink.  
“I would absolutely accept you as my client. Or clients, since you are two. This-”, she handed him a paper, “-is the contract. I will need both your and Mr. Hyde's agreement. So if he has any objections to your decision, it will be taken into account.”  
_“It's fine”_ , Hyde whispered in his mind. It sounded strangely compliant and his voice sounded very tired.  
_“Wunderbar!***"_ , Lady Summers cried, “Be sure to read the contract carefully, before you sign it. Don't forget the fine print. If you have questions, feel free to ask.”  
The contract was every bit as professional as any business transaction; it included a detailed description of the service offered, conditions, payment, clauses and guarantees. The other papers were basically the same contract, just differently worded. She explained to him that one was for her, one for him and one for their lawyer, Mr. Utterson. The former two included individual notes for his specific conditions, the one for Utterson was more general and vague, to protect his private data.  
“Mr. Hyde will get a contract of his own”, she added, “I hope you two are sure about this. I'm dealing with the most private information imaginable, just a friendly reminder.”  
“Don't worry”, the doctor assured her, “We talked about this.”  
“Good. Your signature, doctor.”  
Jekyll read the contract over once more, then he put his elegant signature right next to the simplistic one of Lady Summers.  
She read and nodded in satisfaction.  
“Well then, Dr. Jekyll. From now on, you're my client. To good cooperation.”  
So Dr. Henry Jekyll (and later Mr. Edward Hyde) became the client of Lady Luise F. W. Summers.  
  
If Hyde and Jekyll had something in common, it was their curiosity, even though it manifested in different ways. And Hyde sure was curious about this household, just like Jekyll – just for an entirely different reason. What interested him was the attitude of the servants towards him.   
They were as exotic and enigmatic as their mistress, and yet just as unapologetically outspoken and unbiased. They didn't pretend that they liked him, none of them did. Yet, he was treated with a kind of respect that didn't feel forced and that was entirely new to Hyde. After some pondering, he decided, that he liked it. But he still wanted to know, why none of the servants shied away from him, winced or even averted their eyes, like literally everyone else (except for Jekyll, but he was his other half, so he didn't count).  
One day he asked the nurse about it, while she was preparing new bandages for him.  
She explained, that here they held the attitude, that everyone had the right to be treated with respect, lest they did something to earn the opposite.  
“It's unfair to slight someone, just because they don't appeal to us. No one is an angel here and it would just be hypocritical. So far you have given us no reason to disrespect you.”  
“But that doesn't mean you like me”, Hyde pointed out.  
The Austrian laughed: “Oh no! In fact, apart from the Lady, no one really likes you here!”  
Theatrically, Hyde gripped his chest and cried: “I'm offended! Whatever did I do to you?!”  
The stout nurse giggled: “You mean aside from being overall really creepy and rude?”  
He laughed throatily. Of course, the answer wasn't surprising.  
“Anything else?”, he snickered.  
“Well …”, she drawled and he readied himself for a womanly tirade, that would probably last for a while, while trying not to stare at her behind too openly.  
_If only her nasty German accent was as nice as her arse …_  
“HYDE!!!” , Jekyll yelled from the back of his mind.  
_Oh come on, don't tell me_ you _haven't stared at that delicious piece of meat over there!_  
“I for my part don't like how hairy you are. You need a good shave.”  
That snapped him back to reality.   
_What?!_  
“She has a point there” , Jekyll chuckled.  
“And …” She turned around slowly, a scalpel in her hand and a creepy smile on her face, “… what I like even less, is when people look at my chest or behind. I'm pretty sure, Milady warned you not to do that!”  
Slowly, the Austrian nurse approached him with the scalpel.  
Hyde gulped.  
_Oh shit!_  
  
“Don't. Say. A. Word!”, Hyde hissed at Lanyon, who was trying to hold back his laughter, Utterson, whose amusement was evident in his eyes and Lady Summers, who was smirking.  
“I warned you”, the Lady reminded him gleefully, “I told you not to stare at her chest or behind. You brought this upon yourself.”  
“Be glad she didn't shave your head bald too”, Utterson added.  
“True”, The Prussian agreed, “She did that to the last patient – and that was a woman. Besides, she did you a favour.”  
“Did she now”, Hyde growled.  
The Lady nodded. “Oh yes. You look so much better without that apish fur on your body. Much more human. Besides, it'll no longer be in the way, when we tend to your healing wounds.”  
Lanyon couldn't hold back his laughter anymore and rolled on the other bed.  
Utterson smiled for the split of a second, before resuming his professional facade.  
Hyde felt his eye twitch.   
“Let's go outside”, the Lady said to the other men, “And give him two hours to cool off.”  
She shooed them out, before leaving herself – narrowly avoiding a vase Hyde had thrown at her.  
The door was already shut, when he finally began to yell profanities after them.  
The young man was boiling with anger. He wanted to hurt people. If only he wasn't tied to that blasted bed! Lady Summers was foresighted and had fixed his lower body to the hospital cot, so he wouldn't attempt to get up and wander around, while his body was still healing.  
After half an hour of angry shrieking, he was too exhausted and curled in on himself as best as he could.  
Then he felt a familiar presence behind him and ghostly fingers slid through his café brown hair.  
_“Hey now”_ , Jekyll murmured gently, _“There's no need to be upset, Edward. It's not that bad.”_  
“Not that bad?!”, Hyde hissed, “I was at that woman's mercy the entire time! Did you see the scalpel?! She easily could have killed or mutilated me and there was nothing I could have done!”  
The hand in his hair paused. _“You should have thought of that, before you leered at her behind.”_  
“How was I supposed to know that she would react like that?!”  
_“Don't forget, who that nurse is working for”_ , Jekyll pointed out and went back to stroking his hair. _“In this household, you should be prepared for anything.”_  
“I wasn't prepared to be reminded of how helpless I am in this condition”, the younger man mumbled and leaned into the comforting, ghostly hand of the older.  
_“Another lesson learned then.”_  
“I feel skinned”, he muttered, running his hands down his now bare arms.  
_“Oh, Hyde. Now you're the overly dramatic one.”_  
“I hate being so vulnerable”, Hyde sniffed. “That blasted bullet wound …”  
_“I know, I know”_ , Jekyll soothed. _“But hold on just a bit longer, Hyde. Your wound is healing well, they're taking good care of you.”_  
“It's been three weeks.”  
_“You have been shot in the abdomen. Of course that takes a while to heal. Be glad that you – that_ we _survived at all.”_  
Hyde turned his head away from the other.  
_“I know it's hard for you”_ , the blond consoled him, _“But it's not forever. In a few days at the maximum you'll at least get solid food and in a month's time we can both go home.”_  
“That's too long”, he croaked. It was so hard not to cry right now.  
_“I know, Hyde. I know. Trust me, I feel the same way.”_  
He felt Jekyll tug back a strand of hair and then the other's ghostly lips lightly touching his ear.  
The brunette shifted a little and allowed his other half to cradle him in his arms.  
It was extremely rare that Jekyll was the one to comfort Hyde. Normally, if ever, it was the other way around.  
_“Rest, my wild child”_ , the older man cooed, _“I'm here.”_

 

* * *

 

*For some reason a lot of people seem to hate chamomile tea, or chamomile in general. I don't understand why, I personally like it just fine, but I decided to roll with it. However, just remember that chamomile is good for your digestion.  
**Lady Summers doesn't get along with most of her family.  
_***Wunderbar - German for 'Wonderful'_


	13. Dialogues with Mr. Hyde

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Utterson spends his evenings talking to Hyde to learn more about him.

13\. Dialogues with Mister Hyde and Doctor Jekyll

 

When Utterson went to see, if Hyde had calmed down, he found him curled together under the covers, with only his dark brown hair being visible.

“Mister Hyde?”, he asked gingerly.

The pile of covers moved and two sunken-in, bilious green eyes peeked out. “Hm?”

_Oh good, he's calmed down._

“Are you ready to talk?”

“Depends”, Hyde muttered, “What do you want?”

“There are just a few things I want to know. Don't worry, it doesn't involve your criminal record”, he added, when Hyde's eyes narrowed.

“I brought you something”, he changed subjects and put the plate he was holding onto the night table next to the bed. “Lanyon and Lady Summers said, that you've healed up enough, so it's alright.”

The patient crawled half out of the covers to see what was on the table and gasped in surprise. “Solid food! And pomegranate seeds! How did you know?”

“Lady Summers dropped a hint”, the lawyer told him.

Utterson couldn't help but smile at the way Hyde's eyes sparkled over the fruit. It was almost cute.

For a few minutes he watched, as the young man practically inhaled the seeds, as if he was starving, before Hyde paused and looked at him.

“Didn't you want to ask me something?”, he asked.

Utterson shrugged. “I'm waiting until you're finished.”

Predictably, the other ate a lot slower now, but the lawyer had time today.

“I'm glad you liked them”, he stated, when the young man had finished.

“They're my favourites!”, Hyde cried enthusiastically, “Juicy, sweet …”

“And messy”, the older man finished, nodding at the other's white covers and night-gown, which now were sprinkled red with pomegranate juice.

Hyde didn't seem to care about the mess he had made, just cleaned his face and hands with a napkin, before hiding back under the covers.

“Your name really suits you”, Utterson commented. “Did you choose it yourself?”

“No, Jekyll did.”

Then was silence again – Utterson had to recall, what he had meant to ask the other.

“How old are you?”, he remembered then.

He was surprised at how torn Hyde suddenly looked.

“That depends …”, the brunette replied hesitantly, “Do you mean how long have I existed as Edward Hyde or how old am I according to my papers?”

Utterson had to admit, that he hadn't thought of that. “Why not both?”, he finally decided.

Hyde shifted a little and drank some of the water on the night table.

“Well”, he finally spoke up, “I was created eight years ago. Don't you dare joke about my age”, he added with a menacing growl, that sent shivers down the other man's spine. Even a calm, wounded Hyde could be frightening.

“Don't worry, wouldn't dream of it”, Utterson hurried to reassure the younger.

_I have a self-preservation instinct, thank you very much._

This seemed to mollify Hyde, who continued: “But according to my papers, I'm twenty years old.”

The lawyer was surprised.

He had expected Hyde to be a teenager, he looked and acted so much like one. Then again, this was only a number that Jekyll had made up on paper. Probably so Hyde could legally …

“Wait … so you were only a few hours old, when you started to … uhm …”

Hyde laughed, catching on: “Oh no! I needed a while to even become aware of myself. The first night I wasn't quite. The first times I was more Jekyll than Hyde, despite always looking like this. It took a few times for us both to become fully aware of me.”

He stopped laughing and stared up to the ceiling pensively.

“It was really odd”, he mumbled, “I just suddenly … _was_. I wonder, if that is what being born feels like.”

Utterson thought for a moment. “I don't think so”, he finally replied, “But it's probably similar.”

 

“What's your favourite colour?”

Hyde stared at the other man incredulously. “My favourite colour?”

Utterson nodded. “Yes. Your favourite colour. I asked you that question once, remember?”

The young man shook his head. “Can't say I do. And I don't know, what my favourite colour is. I never bothered to think about that.”

The lawyer had to chuckle: “That's not something you think about. It just happens at one point, that you decide, that you like one colour more than the rest.”

Hyde shrugged. “Never happened to me. I focus on other things.”

“For example?”

“On every precious minute that I'm not caged inside Jekyll's bleeding mind.”

Utterson tried to suppress the wave of pity that washed over him. Hyde had made it clear more than once, that he didn't want pity. And honestly, who did?

“Mister Utterson?”

“Yes?”

“Speaking of colours, which one is _your_ favourite?”

Utterson thought for a moment. “I have several. Brown, yellow …”

Hyde interrupted him: “That's too vague! Be more specific!”

The lawyer kept himself from rolling his eyes and clarified: “My favourite colours are wheat yellow and chocolate brown. Happy?”

The brunette seemed to be, as he smirked triumphantly. “Jekyll's hair and eye colour”, he observed.

When Utterson gave him a look of horror, he laughed: “I'm his alter ego, I see him all the time, I know what colour his hair and eyes are. Besides, I already know of your feelings for him, so no need to panic!”

The lawyer tried and failed to fight back the blush, that was threatening to colour his face. “Of course”, he muttered, “I know you do.”

Then something else occurred to the lawyer: “What else do you know about him?”

Hyde looked pensive, as he answered: “Hmm … almost everything, really. Not quite everything, but almost. We have memory in common, you see? I share his entire knowledge. Everything he remembers I remember as well.”

_I must test that!_

“Do you remember, how Henry and I first met?”, Utterson challenged.

The younger one snorted: “You bumped into each other. It was his first day at the boarding school and you helped him up. He asked you for directions to the lab and you brought him there. He was blushing like crazy. That's so cliché!”

The lawyer had to admit defeat and the other man snickered gleefully.

“You amuse me, Mr. Utterson, you really do!”, he laughed, like so many other times.

And like so many other times, Utterson couldn't decide, if he should be flattered or offended.

 

Hyde found himself enjoying his talks with Utterson more than he let on.

The lawyer was unobtrusive in his curiosity and gentle in his prying. As promised, he didn't address his criminal record once during their talks.

At one point, the young man caught himself wondering, if the black-haired man would be willing to be his lawyer too. Oh, who cared if he was willing, he had no other choice! He knew their secret and if he knew what was good for him (which Hyde doubted, but that wasn't the point!), he would keep close to them.

He couldn't help but be impressed as well. The lawyer seemed to be sincere in his intent to get to know him better. There was genuine curiosity in his eyes, which was interesting.

Hyde wasn't blind, he could tell that Utterson still disliked him, but it appeared that the older man was willing to work past that dislike and that was new to him. Of course the fact, that Utterson was mostly putting up with him for Jekyll's sake ruined it a bit, but Hyde took whatever positive attention he could get. Even if it was just a bunch of stupid questions.

The young man wasn't willing to answer all of them freely, especially, when it came to more serious and important matters, like his relationship to Jekyll. That was none of Utterson's business, even if he strived to be Jekyll's lover.

What did they see in each other anyway?

Hyde felt jealousy well up within himself, every time his other half interacted with the lawyer, the way he could feel Jekyll's happiness and hear his thoughts, even in his cage inside their head.

He hated, that his creator should prefer someone else over him. Him, who knew the blond doctor like no other! Jekyll was so ungrateful! That old, miserable, hypocritical …

“Mister Hyde?”

Utterson's calm, gentle tone yanked him out of his thoughts.

He blinked. “Huh? Were you saying something?”

The lawyer shook his head. “No, I just noticed, that your mood was deteriorating and that worried me. You weren't having too dark thoughts, were you?”

Hyde shrugged: “That depends. Does being annoyed at your other half count as too dark?”

“No, but you were making a face like you were plotting someone's imminent demise. That's why I spoke up. I hoped that this impression was wrong.”

Hyde laughed. How typical of people to assume that he was plotting the worst! But it was really adorable, that Utterson tried to see something good in him.

“I do give that impression, don't I?”, he snickered, “I could be having tea and cake and be talking about the weather and everyone would still think the worst of me.”

 

When he returned home after their conversation, Utterson couldn't help but feel guilty. He too had thought the worst of Hyde and he remembered, what his cousin had told him once, when he had recounted that one time Hyde had trampled a girl. The inexplicable urge to hurt the young man, the feeling of loathing and distortion.

But now, that he was trying to work past his dislike, he found the brunette's presence to be less revolting that it had seemed to him at first. No longer did he feel the sense of malformation around the young man, that had horrified him at first. He was getting used to that pale face, those bilious green, sunken-in eyes and the scratchy, high-pitched voice.

Maybe he had felt that way before, because Hyde was so thin. Or because of the fact, that he had the tendency to duck his head, when he crept through open streets at night.

Currently, the lawyer was bothered by different things.

One thing was Hyde's refusal to give clear answers, especially when it came to Jekyll. As if he wanted to hide something, no pun intended. Alright, maybe that pun was totally intended. When it came to his relationship to his other half, Hyde's expression became aloof and closed-off. And then his answer was either complete silence or deliberately suggestive remarks, that made the lawyer's skin crawl. That left him to speculate and the conclusions he came to didn't make any sense.

Another thing was how often he caught himself confiding into a young man he still didn't like. How did Hyde do that? It didn't seem to be difficult for him to pump one personal information after the other out of the lawyer. That scared him.

He also didn't like the sultry purr Hyde spoke with sometimes. That too didn't seem difficult. Hyde's voice was naturally husky and borderline feminine. Utterson could tell, why Jekyll gave into his darker half so easily. Hyde just had to sweet talk him with that seductive tone. Knowing Jekyll, it would be enough to make his knees go weak. Utterson wasn't as weak-willed, but he found it uncomfortable, when Hyde talked to him like that.

Nevertheless, he was now certain, that Hyde was not a monster, not a demon in human shape. Maybe he wasn't even really evil, although he was definitely bad.

Maybe Lady Summers was right and he was just extremely twisted. Of course the Lady would now say that of course she was right, that she was never wrong, when it came to the human mind. But he wanted to be sure about this one, before he agreed with her.

There was no doubt to the lawyer though, that Hyde was mad. He suffered from extreme mood swings, much like Utterson had seen it in pregnant women or in Lady Summers, when she was having one of her bad days. Edward Hyde could be calm and calculating one moment and overly emotional and irritable for no reason the next. What he hadn't seen yet, but what Lady Summers had told him about, were the frequent mental breakdowns the brunette seemed to suffer for no known reason (or at least none the Lady was willing to tell).

But Utterson was a perceptive man. Something bothered Hyde, even when he was acting carefree and relaxed. He sensed some underlying anger in the young man and deduced, that it had something to do with Jekyll. And that both scared and worried him.

So, when he came to visit the next day and found Hyde instead of Jekyll sitting on his bed (by now he was being allowed to get up for a while), he took the opportunity to confront him.

“Mister Hyde, we need to talk about something personal”, he prepared him first.

His conversation partner's bilious green eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“I don't know why, but I have given you a lot of private information about myself-”

Hyde interrupted with a snicker: “Yes, you're very talkative! You're lucky blackmail isn't my thing!”

_That is quite fortunate indeed._

Utterson swallowed his fear and went on: “It's only fair, that you give me information about yourself as well. And by that I don't mean trivial things, like the ones I have asked about so far.”

The brunette looked at him with a strange mixture of misgiving and boldness, as if he was silently challenging him to ask, while dreading it at the same time.

“With pleasure”, Hyde consented finally. “What is it that you want to know?”

“I have two questions, Mr. Hyde”, Utterson elaborated, “The first is actually a fairly simple one: why are you so angry?”

For a few full minutes, the young man was staring at him in confusion and surprise.

“What do you mean?”, he finally questioned, when he had found his speech again. “I'm fine.”

Utterson contradicted: “No, you're not. I'm a lawyer, Mr. Hyde, I know subliminal anger, when I see it. I ask again, what is it that upsets you so?”

Hyde hesitated and avoided the lawyer's gaze.

“You don't have to tell me immediately”, Utterson accommodated him, “I have time, so there is no need for pressure.”

“No, it's fine”, Hyde muttered, “I owe it to you, I suppose. And I hate to be in debt. You want to know, what my problem is? Fine, but you won't like it. First off, I have several, but for the last four months, Jekyll has been the biggest one.”

Utterson thought back. Four months. That was roughly how long he and Hyde had known each other.

“Does it have to do with me?”, he guessed.

“Partly”, Hyde admitted, “After you accosted me, Jekyll didn't let me out anymore. The longer I was locked inside our shared conscience, the more agitated I became. Then something happened, that made me livid.”

He took a deep breath, then he finally faced the lawyer.

“Perhaps you remember the dinner, when you confronted Jekyll about me?”

Utterson dug in his memory, then he nodded. “Oh yes. I do.”

“Do you also remember, what he said to you?”, Hyde probed.

The lawyer frowned. “I assume, you mean a certain sentence, but you have to be more specific.”

The other man rolled his eyes and began to quote: “'The moment I choose …'”

“'… I can be rid of Mr. Hyde'”, Utterson finished together with him.

“Of course!”, he realised, “You heard that and assumed-”

“I didn't assume!”, Hyde cut him off sharply, “I knew! He wanted to get rid of me! He still does, now even more so than back then! He wants to get rid of me! He wants to _destroy_ me!”

He was talking himself into a rage and Utterson smelled trouble.

“Mister Hyde, please calm down”, he pleaded, “I'm sure he didn't really mean-”

“Oh, he meant it!”, Hyde snapped, “I'm a part his damn soul, I know when he lies! He meant every word of what he said in that moment! And to top it all off, he threatened me, that he would never take the potion again and confine me to his head for the rest of our life! Of course, being the weak bastard that he is, he lasted only two months, but do you have the faintest idea, how that feels?! To not only have your creator and other half talk about you like that, but also be caged, like an animal?!”

Suddenly it dawned on the lawyer. The pieces fell into place and in this moment a lot of things began to make sense.

“Mister Hyde”, he began gingerly, “Was that the night, when-?”

“Yes! It was _that_ night! After being caged for two and a half months, I was so full of anger and hatred, I just wanted to hurt someone! Can you blame me for wanting to vent my anger on the first person that crossed my path?! And if it's some random old man, what do I care?! It was his fault for even coming near me, when everybody else knows better than to! I didn't even know what I was doing, until that woman intervened! I just had that one thought: that Jekyll wants to be rid of me!”

Hyde's pale face twisted into an ugly grimace, he began to tremble with fury and gnash his teeth.

Right in that moment, he looked more fearsome than when the lawyer had first met him and Utterson was struck with fear of being attacked at any second.

“Rid of”, the young man repeated quietly, before suddenly leaping from the bed, seized the older man by the collar and shrieking: “RID OF! HE WANTS TO GET RID OF ME!!! RID OF, RID OF, _RID OF_!!!”

Again and again.

Fearing for his (and both Hyde's and Jekyll's) life, Utterson acted out of instinct. He grabbed the smaller man by the arms and held him in a vice-like grip. The madman in his arms thrashed around, shrieked, howled and roared profanities endlessly, while his captor endured the kicking and screaming and refused to let him go.

“Mister Hyde, please calm down-”

“I'M NOT A BROKEN TOY HE CAN JUST THROW AWAY!!!”, Hyde shrieked with rage.

“Oh course not, but please, calm down! You will hurt yourself-”

Suddenly the door flew open and Lady Summers barged into the room, armed with her sword cane. “What is going on here?!”, she yelled, then frowned at the scene.

It had to be a disturbing sight, but she didn't seem all too fazed. Apparently realising, that she wouldn't be heard, if she talked aloud, she spoke to him mentally.

“ _Mister Utterson, do you think you have the situation under control?”_

“ _Yes, I think so.”_

“ _Alright, I trust you. Make sure, that he doesn't hurt himself. I'll come back later.”_

After instructing him this way, she left calmly.

Hyde proceeded to thrash about in his arms for a while longer. After an eternity, it seemed, he had finally exhausted himself, went limb and his screaming and shrieking turned into wheezing and whimpering. He continued to claw at the lawyer's clothing, but was too exhausted to put any force into it.

Utterson continued to murmur gently into the brunette's ear, until he stilled completely, apart from the muffled sobs into his own shoulder.

“I hate him!”, Hyde sobbed, “I hate him! I hate him! _I hate him_!”

It sounded so broken, that Utterson had the impression, that the young man wasn't entirely honest – perhaps not even with himself. But before he could say something, he felt something wet leak through his waistcoat and shirt.

The black-haired man was overwhelmed with compassion. How long had the boy bottled up his anger and grief like that? Had he never been able to confide into someone else before? Not even in Jekyll, his own creator? The thought made the lawyer sad.

_No wonder he is so messed up. As if being Henry's dark side incarnate wasn't bad enough._

He tightened his grip around the smaller man, even though they had been in this position for a while already. Although Hyde couldn't weigh much more than eighty pounds, he was growing heavy and Utterson's entire body hurt from the struggle.

After what seemed another hour of crying and wailing, the brunette finally went silent. Then he muttered: “Put me down.”

The lawyer decided, that it was safe and complied. “Are you feeling better?”, he asked worriedly.

Hyde smiled. Not the cold, twisted smile that sent shivers down the lawyer's spine. A small, genuine smile. It only lasted for the split of a second, but long enough for the lawyer to notice.

“Temporarily”, the young man breathed hoarsely. Apparently, his voice was gone from all the screaming. “It never goes away completely. But it's gone for now.”

He sat back down on his bed. Utterson poured him a glass of water, which Hyde drank greedily.

In that moment, the brunette looked so fragile, sitting there with that too big hospital gown hanging loosely down his small, slight frame, holding that glass with both hands and looking completely drained. If Utterson hadn't known who he was speaking with, he would have thought the other to be a helpless child. Of course he knew better. Edward Hyde was anything but helpless.

“What was the other question?”, the young man quietly asked all of the sudden.

The black-haired man blinked. “I'm sorry?”

“You said you had two questions”, Hyde reminded him, “One you asked already. What was the second one?”

“Oh.” Now Utterson remembered. He awkwardly scratched his neck. “To be fair, you already answered it. I was going to ask you about your relationship with Jekyll, but that's no longer necessary. So-”

“Ask me something else, then”, Hyde offered.

The lawyer considered, then a question popped into his mind. “Why are you so light?”

Hyde frowned. “You mean, why am I so thin, don't you? No need to be all flowery about it.”

Utterson frowned back: “Mr. Hyde, you're just saying that, because no one has ever been kind to you before. Am I right?”

The brunette snickered throatily: “You have me there. Well, unless you count the Lady of course. But to answer your question: I've always looked like this. I don't know or care why, but that's just the way I came out.”

Hyde lay back down and looked up to the ceiling, while Utterson stretched his sore limbs and bent his back to get rid of the ache. He would have so many bruises tomorrow …

The door opened and Lady Summers stepped in.

“Oh, good, you have calmed down”, she said and entered with a tea ensemble. “I was concerned, because I didn't hear anything for a while, after all the screaming, so I thought I should check.”

“Don't worry, it's fine”, Utterson assured her. Then he remembered something else.

“What time is it?”

“It's half past midnight”, she informed him, shaking her head. “You gentlemen stay up far too long. Mr. Utterson, I'm not allowing you to leave the house to go home at this hour. Don't worry, I already let your butler know that you will be staying here tonight. It took me two full minutes to come up with a suitable excuse. Two minutes!”

“Well then”, Utterson consented, not remarking about her treatment of two minutes as if they were two years. “Does your personnel know that I must be woken at exactly six in the morning?”

“Of course they do. The second guest-room is ready for you. Also, both of you should go to sleep soon”, she added with a glare, before leaving once more.

Hyde looked at Utterson. “Is that what a mother acts like?”, he asked.

Utterson sighed: “Probably. At least how most mothers would act. I wouldn't know. Mine was never there”, he added bitterly.

“Does she have children?”, the brunette asked.

Utterson shook his head. “No. But she treats her clients like they are, even if they're as old as or older than herself.”

Hyde looked up to the ceiling pensively. “She sure is something”, he mumbled, “The first person not to be scared of me. Although she did have the sword cane.”

Utterson chuckled: “People tend more to be scared of _her_.”

“She's quite domineering, isn't she?”

“She's Prussian. That's just how they are. They have the attitude that everyone should comply to their demands and don't take 'no' for an answer.”

Hyde laughed hoarsely: “A lot of English people are like that too.”

Then, all of the sudden, he yawned.

Utterson smiled. _Looks like it's sleepy-time for our little demon here._

“I'm leaving to reins to Jekyll now”, said little demon informed him, much to his surprise. “I'm more tired than I have been in weeks.”

“Sleep then”, the black-haired man replied and sat back down on his chair.

Hyde didn't scream and wind in agony this time. The transformation went by more smoothly, maybe the two had got used to the pain or it was getting less.

A minute later Henry Jekyll was lying on the bed, blinking and feeling around like a blind man.

“Hey there”, Utterson whispered tenderly.

Jekyll looked at him, recognised him and smiled serenely. “Hello.”

God, how he adored that smile! How long had it been since he last saw it!

Jekyll gripped his hand with his own and the lawyer relished in the touch.

“I transformed back into myself without the potion. You … you actually made him relinquish control. How did you do that?”

“I didn't do anything”, the lawyer pointed out, “It was his decision to let you take back over.”

“But you calmed him down”, Jekyll contradicted, “You calmed him down enough to- Gabriel, he has never been this docile before. What did you do?”

Utterson shrugged: “I allowed him to let it out. I listened to him.”

_Maybe you should try it, Henry. You have no idea, how badly he needs you to listen._

“Just that?”, the blond queried doubtfully.

The black-haired man nodded. “Yes. Just that. Henry, you need to learn the benefits of listening and talking to others.”

The doctor groaned: “Not you too! Lady Summers tells me that all the time!”

“Well, she's right”, the lawyer insisted.

Jekyll huffed: “I'm too tired to argue with you.”

He gestured to the edge of the bed. “Come here”, he bade.

Utterson sat on the edge of the bed and was surprised, when the patient grabbed his hand again, brought it to his lips and kissed it with devotion.

“Gabriel”, he whispered, “Thank you so much.”

The lawyer smiled. “Anything for you, Henry.”

“I love you.”

Utterson felt his heart race. He could have kissed him then and there. Instead, he smiled and caressed Jekyll's face. “I know, Harry. I know.”

_Your alter ego practically spelled it out to me, after all._

He could see the longing in the doctor's eyes and knew they were thinking the same.

But he had made a promise and he would keep it.

 

* * *

 

This chapter has angst and some fluff towards the end. The ending might be kinda cheesy, but I was having a sentimental moment and it demanded to be put into writing. Besides, I just wanted to finally finish this chapter. It took me an eternity to write.

 


	14. Mister Hyde was quite upset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde struggles with his trauma and with the question why Utterson is so genuinely friendly and caring to him.

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14\. Mister Hyde was quite upset

 

“The events of the night I was shot – the things I forgot … they're slowly coming back to me.”

That peaked Utterson's interest and he looked up from the book he was reading.

It had been another week since Hyde's temper tantrum and the young man had grown a bit more docile, although not one bit nicer.

“They do?”

“Yes.”

Hyde grimaced. “Did I really bawl in your arms and beg for my life, while I was bleeding out?”

The lawyer couldn't help but chuckle. “I'm afraid so.”

“And ramble on about how much Jekyll likes you?”

“Yes.”

“And stuttered some gibberish about the way you looked at me?”

“You did. If I remember correctly, you also touched my face and marvelled at someone actually giving a damn, if you die.”

Hyde made a noise of utter disgust.

“I'd make a joke about losing my dignity, but I never had any to begin with. Apparently, dignity is reserved for real humans”, he remarked cynically.

“You _are_ human”, Utterson protested, “What makes you think that you're not?”

The brunette smiled lopsidedly. “Do you want key words or the entire list?”

“Do people tell you that? Does Jekyll tell you that? That you're not human and will never be?! Does everyone tell you that you're a monster?!”

“Don't get all worked up. When everyone tells you or thinks the same thing about you, you just start to believe it yourself sooner or later. I mean, it's not like they're wrong.”

Hyde looked at him, frowning: “Besides, you used to think the same, didn't you?”

That was true and he wouldn't deny it. The lawyer wasn't sure, why the thought made him so angry, why he took such an interest in the young man's fate now, but now he began to understand, why Lady Summers had taken pity on him instead of ratting him out to the police two months ago. And now, that he knew the truth, he wouldn't walk away.

So he admitted: “Yes, and if that night hadn't happened, that probably wouldn't have changed. But it did happen and so did my change of heart. I still think that you're an unpleasant person, but I don't believe anymore that you're a monster. And you better start to get used to it, Mr. Hyde.”

Hyde's eyes became the size of saucers, as he stared at the lawyer incredulously.

“You … you …”

He stood up and grabbed the lawyer by the collar, making him gasp in surprise.

“What do you want?”, Hyde snarled darkly, “Is it purely for Jekyll's sake that you bother with me? And if not – what I don't believe and never will – what do you want from me?”

By now Utterson was used to Hyde's outbursts of negative emotions and unafraid.

But he had figured out, that Hyde was most dangerous, when he was agitated like that. The young man had a hair-trigger temper and the lawyer was hyper-aware, that a wrong word or loss of composure would result in the worst kind of outburst.

“Mister Hyde. Allow me to explain it to you. But first, please let go of me.”

The brunette blinked, let go and muttered something that sounded akin to an apology.

“Why don't we sit down?”, Utterson suggested.

“Fine”, grumbled Hyde in agreement and sat on the edge of his bed.

Utterson sat next to him, sighing.

“I understand, if you don't believe me, but listen to me first. In part you are right.”

The brunette snorted: “In part?!”

“I am also doing this for Jekyll”, the lawyer admitted. That confession was risky, but lying to Hyde was even more dangerous. The madman was astute, he could tell, when someone lied to him.

Before Hyde could blow up, the older man added: “But it's not my sole motive.”

That sentence was probably his saving grace, because Hyde's aura became a little less murderous.

“Oh?”, the young man scoffed, “You mean you _don't_ think of Jekyll, when you look at me?”

“No. Of course, that would be tempting, you're his alter ego after all. But if I talk to you and ask you all these questions, it's not because of Jekyll. I can ask Henry himself, when I want to know something from him. I converse with you, because I'm curious about _you_ , about Edward Hyde. If I was just tolerating you for Jekyll's sake, I wouldn't be nearly as talkative.”

Hyde was still scowling, but he seemed to be relaxing a little. He was still suspicious though. That he made very clear, when he asked: “So you're telling me that you don't deliberately look for similarities between Henry and me?”

“Not deliberately, no. I might be doing it unconsciously, but I rarely do it on purpose. If I do discover similarities between you two, it's mostly by chance. If you will, imagine it like losing a key and not finding it after hours of search, only to find it on another occasion in the most obvious place. That's the way I discover the things you and your other self have in common.”

“Name a few!”, Hyde challenged with a superior air.

_He still doesn't believe me._

Utterson thought for a moment. He had, in fact, discovered an astounding amount of similarities between Henry Jekyll and Edward Hyde. Of course, they were the same person, but it was surprising nevertheless. Where should he begin?

“The way you furrow your eyebrows, for an instance”, he finally made up his mind. “Of course, it looks much scarier on your face, but the way you and Henry do it is essentially the same.”

Hyde looked surprised. “Jekyll told me that once”, he recounted.

“You're both extremely petty. You just express it more openly than Jekyll does.”

The brunette burst into laughter. “How could I possibly contradict?”, he snickered.

“And do you remember that one time I was told to massage your shoulders and you told me that I was terrible at it?”

“That's because you are”, the younger man commented drily, “Your hands are so clumsy.”

“Then you explained to me in length, which muscle is which and where I was to apply how much pressure. You sounded so much like your other half, it was uncanny.”

Hyde looked appalled. “I'm never doing it again!”, he resolved.

“And you have the same shoulder blades.”

Hyde smirked: “How can you tell? I know for certain, that you two have never been intimate with each other.”

_Yes, and I haven't been with anyone else either._

“I have seen him without shirt, though. Don't forget that Jekyll and I went to school together.”

“Ah. Right. Of course, it should have occurred to me that you snuck glances at him every now and then. Any other similarities in our bone structure that you could tell me about?”

Utterson swallowed his anger at Hyde's blatant comment and assured him wryly: “Don't worry. Everything else about your stature is completely unique.”

Hyde looked relieved and the lawyer realised that he had pointed out things the young man hadn't wanted to know. He seemed to hate the possibility of having so much in common with his opposite self.

So he continued: “And do you know what conclusion I came to, when I realised all that?”

“No”, the younger man growled, “What was it?”

“That you're not Henry's worse half. You're his equal.”

For a second, Hyde's face was stone and Utterson feared, that he had said something wrong.

Then the madman took a deep breath and said quietly: “That answer just saved your skin.”

The rest of their conversation was uncomfortable and chilled and it wasn't long until Hyde told him to leave.

On his way back to his home, Utterson's heart was unexpectedly heavy. Hyde had seemed hurt and it was _his_ fault. He would have to apologise to him the next time.

 

As soon as the door had closed behind the black-haired lawyer, Hyde curled up under the covers, facing the wall. He didn't know why he was so upset, after all, he had been the one to ask the other to count down similarities between him and his other half. Maybe he was horrified by the abundance of things the lawyer had been able to name. And surely he would have named more, had he not noticed how upset he was.

_I am not like him … I_ am _him, but I'm not_ like _him! I'm not like Henry Jekyll!_

“ _Hyde.”_

Hyde groaned in annoyance – the last voice he wanted to hear right now! – and tensed up, when he felt the shadowy form of Henry Jekyll manifest behind him.

“What do you want now?”, he snarled, not bothering to face his alter ego.

“ _Hyde, what's the matter?”_

The brunette whirled around in anger and leapt out of bed, regretting it instantly, as he felt a wave of nausea coming up. The stitches had healed well, but his digestive system was still delicate and if he moved the wrong way- But he ignored the sensation and glared at the doctor hatefully.

“You know, exactly what the matter is, _Doctor_ Jekyll!”, he hissed.

Jekyll looked hurt, but the smaller man didn't give three straws about it.

“ _Hyde, it's no shame to have some things in common with your other self-”_

“Well, it wouldn't be a problem if you hadn't been alienating me since the incident with that old sod Carew! Ever since then, you have been denying that I'm a part of you! So it's only natural that I return the favour, isn't it?! If you don't want me to be you, to be a part of you, then I don't want you either. You protest every time the Lady or your two friends point it out to you, but when _I_ flip over the same thing, you expect me to-”

“ _Hyde, that's not true-”_

Oh, that did it! How dare that bastard claim it wasn't true!

“Stop lying to me!”, he snarled hoarsely, “I'm so fed up with you disowning me at every inconvenience, then pretending that everything is fine! Just get lost, Jekyll!”

“ _Edward, please-”_

“Oh, _now_ you're calling me _Edward_? When was the last time you did _that_?! Just go back into our head, where you belong! You always tell me to do that, so the least you can do is to-”

Before he could continue, there was a knock at the door. He quickly sat down on the bed, then cried: “Enter!”

In came Lady Summers, leaning onto her walking cane. “Mr. Utterson just went home. I came to see, if everything is alright. But it's obviously not.”

Slowly, she walked over and sat next to him on the bed. Then she looked directly at Jekyll – Hyde still found it unsettling, that she could actually see him – and scolded him: “He really is in no condition to argue with you, Doctor. Return into your head, it's the only thing you can do.”

There was no arguing.

Hyde felt the tension leave his body, when his other half dissolved and retreated back into their unconscious.

“Thanks”, he said quietly.

She smiled. “That's what I'm there for. Among other things.”

Then her expression became sad. “It upsets you to have so much in common with someone you despise.”

It wasn't a question.

Hyde nodded, not trusting his voice.

“I know that feeling”, she tried to comfort him.

“Of course you do”, he retorted bitterly, “You can read my mind!”

“That's not what I mean”, she objected. “I mean, I catch myself feeling like that quite a lot. I will be honest with you, despite being an aristocrat, I despise the majority of my class. Only a few people understand that.”

“No wonder”, Hyde agreed, “They're all the same.”

She nodded, then chuckled bitterly: “Sadly, I'm no better. In fact, I'm a horrible person. I'm a schemer, who uses others as chess figures and if hypocrisy gets me somewhere, I _will_ make use of it. I have no qualms with resorting to lies, threats and trickery, if I don't get my way immediately. So you're right, Mr. Hyde, we _are_ all the same. The concurrence among the high nobility is vicious, even more so among women, who must rely on their feminine wiles to get a modicum of agency. But I'm loyal to my friends, clients and parts of my family. So don't worry. You're safe, unless you break the contract.”

_Good thing that unlike Jekyll, I have a self-preservation instinct._

“Good, because for a second I _was_ worried! And what do you mean by parts of your family?”

She smiled enigmatically, just like the first time they had met.

“That is a long story, and the time will come, when I trust you enough to tell you”, she promised. “But I will tell you this: I stopped considering myself a German a long time ago. I am now a member of the British aristocracy. If they accept me as such or not is none of my concern.”

“If you're such an important person”, Hyde questioned, “Why do you bother with scum like me?”

“Even though I have countless condemning character traits, being a classist snob is not among them. Being able to read everyone's mind has taught me that people are the same everywhere. That is why I'm renowned for my impartiality. As a human, I regard you as my equal. That gives you the right to my respect. Also, don't refer to yourself as scum. I have met people worthy of that term, but you're not one of them.”

Hyde writhed under her intense gaze.

_She's talking just like Utterson. Why? What makes her believe that I'm actually-_

“Stop right there!”, she interrupted his process of thought sharply. Then she caught him by surprise, when she grabbed his chin and forced him to look into her eyes.

Like his own, they were of a cold, intense colour and piercing glance.

“Look at me”, she requested sternly. “ _Who_ are you, Edward Hyde?”

“I …”

That was a good question. Who was he really? What was he? Who and what else could he be, if not the alter ego of Henry Jekyll? What purpose did he have? Did he have one at all, beside being the doctor's alternate personality?

He bit his lip and finally admitted: “I don't know.”

“Let's find out then”, the Prussian offered, “Sooner or later we will find it.”

“You'd make a good mother”, Hyde suddenly blurted out and felt his cheeks grow hot.

_Where the bloody hell did that come from?_

The Countess shrugged: “If only, but since it can never be and I'm far too old now anyway, I'll just have to regard my employees and clients as my children. You're a young man, who has never known a functional family relationship.” A mischievous smile. “And for an old, childless widow like me, that's rather convenient.”

Hyde snorted.

She grinned roguishly: “Now let's try to lighten up your mood. Do you want to hear some juicy scandals from court?”

The brunette smirked. “Oh hell yes!”

That woman was certainly entertaining to be around!

 

When Utterson visited the next evening, he found Jekyll to be in the audience room in the greenhouse. He was conversing with Lady Summers, although it seemed more like she was scolding him for something.

He stopped next to the doorway and listened. That was improper, but he knew that the Lady would notice him and end the talk as soon as it became too delicate for his ears.

“… I spent decades of analysing, experimenting, questioning and listening to people and evaluating my observations”, she was telling the doctor, “In that sense, you _may_ well call me a scientist. Back to the subject, the human soul isn't several separate natures, it's one whole thing with many parts and aspects – a very complicated construct, impossible to understand for normal people and hard to grasp even for psychics like me. For the sake of simplicity, imagine, if you will, the soul as a tapestry. There are thousands of threads, but only together they create a picture. Without even a single thread, the picture is damaged, perhaps even completely ruined. The more threads you pull out, the more devastating are the consequences. It's the same with the soul. And you, Dr. Jekyll, brutally ripped your _entire_ soul apart. And as a consequence you're more broken than you were before. The soul isn't meant to be split, Doctor. Take a living, breathing person, cut them in half and see what they look like. Disturbing picture, isn't it? _That's_ what you did to your soul. _That's_ what you and Mr. Hyde look like to _me_. Just less gory, of course.”

Utterson heard Jekyll swallow. “Uhm … isn't that … spoken a bit drastically?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“So you're saying I should find a way to put my soul back together and go back to who I was before?”

She groaned in annoyance: “No, Doctor. Mr. Hyde exists now and, despite being his creator, you don't have the right to take that away from him. You have made him, so deal with it. You can't create a living, breathing person with a will, mind and emotions of his own, only to use him for your personal enjoyment, then try to get rid of him at the slightest inconvenience. That's just not how it works. Do you have the faintest idea, what that says about you as a person? Nothing positive, let me tell you that!”

“But-”

“No. Mr. Hyde is a part of you, whether you like it or not. I have told you before, that everything _he_ does is ultimately _your_ doing. You have more responsibility for him than a father for his son. So stop blaming everything on him and own up to your own responsibilities. The only thing you're doing so far is dehumanising yourself.”

The lawyer peeked into the room and knocked on the door frame.

Lady Summers looked over. “Mister Utterson!”, she cried, “Come in! The conversation is over anyway.”

“It is?”, Jekyll challenged hotly.

“Yes”, she replied with finality. “It is.”

“Don't”, Utterson recommended, when Jekyll wanted to object. “There is no arguing with Lady Summers.”

But Jekyll was in one of those moods, when he wouldn't listen to anyone.

“Do you think you're always right?!”, he asked heatedly, “Do you think that you're the smartest person around?! Do you think that you know everything, just because you can invade the minds of others at will?!”

“Henry, that's enough!”, Utterson protested, but Jekyll didn't hear him.

“You think that you're so infallible and entitled, because you're an aristocrat, who has seen the world, do you?! That being a Prussian, who married into British nobility, gives you the warrant to do whatever you want?! That you're on morally higher ground than others, because you play therapist for a few people to boost your renown?!”

“Jekyll!”, the lawyer pleaded again, but it was too late.

The Countess's face grew hard and her eyes colder than their colour.

“Did you just call me a _snob_ , Doctor?”, she asked lowly, just a little above a whisper.

Jekyll, snapping out of his angry rush, blushed and began to stammer.

“I-I, uh … ”

He broke off, when the petite noblewoman slapped him in the face.

Icy silence ensued. It was as if the temperature in the room had suddenly dropped to arctic levels. Utterson could practically feel the chill crawl under his clothes.

“I beg your pardon for my act of violence”, the Lady then said coolly. “Seems I forgot my breeding for a moment. Are you finished with your tirade, Dr. Jekyll?”

The man in question was too stunned to answer.

She took it as a yes and continued: “Good. Let me tell you a few things:

First, you are the last one in this house, who has the right to call me arrogant. _You're_ the one who tried to play God and tempered with forces he didn't understand, not _I_.

Secondly, if I was a snobbish aristocrat, like you say, none of us would be sitting here. You would be locked inside your own home, wallowing in despair, Mr. Utterson would be sitting in his office, worried sick about you and I would be at a ball hosted by the Princess of Wales. But do you know what? I declined, which is a faux pas of epic proportions. Your claim, that I help people purely for the sake of my reputation is therefore unfounded. I am a therapist, because I genuinely want to help people, because I sympathise with them. There is a difference between sympathy and pity.

And now to your last accusation. What makes you think that I consider myself a good person?! Didn't you listen to what I told Mr. Hyde last night? Well, I have bad news for you, I'm just as destructive as he is, only in a different way. If someone enrages me, I rear my ugly head. And believe me, that's nothing you want to see, let alone provoke. You, Dr. Jekyll, are protected by the fact that you're my client and that I'm slow to anger.”

“But you just slapped me in the face!”, Jekyll objected.

Utterson spoke up: “Not out of anger. She slapped you, because your accusations mortified her.”

The Lady sighed tiredly: “I'm not angry at you, Dr. Jekyll. I'm simply saddened, that you have such a low opinion of me. If I scold you, it's not out of arrogance, it's because I mean well. I want to help you, but I can't, if you won't _listen_. A therapy needs both the therapist and the client. It's not my job to solve all of your problems, but to help you find the best way to solve them on your own.”

The doctor lowered his head in shame.

She sighed again and slowly stood up, steadying herself with her cane. “We should call it off for today. Mr. Utterson, you take this from here. I need to be alone. It's late and I'm in no mood or condition for another argument.”

Then she left.

Utterson sat next to Jekyll. “You could at least have apologised”, he chided him.

“I know, I know. I will”, the blond muttered. He buried his face in his hands. “I don't know what came over me there.”

He sounded as if he was sure that the Lady definitely was going to call off the contract.

So the lawyer took his hand and told him: “She won't throw you out for this. Lady Summers is a lot of things, but she is not judgemental, rash or disloyal. She chose you to be her client and as long as you need her help and don't violate the contract, you can depend on her unwavering support.”

“Still … I really have the talent to offend everyone who tries to help me, don't I?”, the blond remarked bitterly.

The black-haired lawyer sighed and took him in his arms. Seeing his doctor so desolate was just painful to him.

Jekyll melted into his embrace and nuzzled his neck. “How do I deserve someone like you?”, he whispered. “I love you so much.”

“I know”, Utterson cooed. Then he grinned: “But still, as a punishment for your behaviour earlier, you won't get the present I brought for you!”

Jekyll perked up his ears like a little child at the mention. “Present?”

The lawyer nodded: “Yes, I brought gifts for you and Hyde. But you were a naughty boy, so I will offer your present to Hyde instead. I'm sure he will be delighted!”

The doctor made the most adorable puppy pout face, but Utterson was wise to that trick and remained firm.

“I would like to talk to your other half now.”

Jekyll seemed to realise that he wouldn't get anywhere and huffed: “Fine.”

The lawyer felt his doctor relax in his arms, then tense up and slowly morph. He felt the other shrink considerably and soon it was Hyde he was holding in his arms.

“Good evening, Mr. Hyde”, he greeted the other.

Hyde blinked in confusion, then his eyes widened and he squirmed in the taller man's arms. Utterson chuckled and let him go.

“What the hell was that?”, the brunette rasped, staring at the lawyer incredulously.

The older man shrugged. “Your other half was cuddly.”

Hyde pointed out: “You didn't let go, when the transformation ended.”

“No, I suppose not.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

Hyde laughed. “Well, it's not the worst thing to wake up to”, he remarked drily.

 _For that he was in quite a hurry to get away from me_ , Utterson thought, but said nothing.

“I have something for you.” The lawyer opened his bag and produced a little green package.

“What is this?”, the younger man asked in wonder, tilting his head.

“I hope you won't be disappointed, I wasn't sure what you like”, he explained awkwardly and handed the thing to Hyde.

First apprehensively, then with excitement, the brunette tore off the wrapper. When he saw the content, he laughed in amusement. “An ivory comb?”, he giggled, holding up the item.

The lawyer scratched his neck in embarrassment. “I thought you might like it. Of course, if you don't want it-”

“No, no, it's fine! I'll keep it”, Hyde laughed and promptly put the comb into the pocket of the beige morning coat he was wearing. “Now I can finally get rid of that stupid old brush Jekyll let me use.”

He didn't thank the lawyer, but that had been expected.

“These”, the black-haired man told the brunette and handed him a biscuit jar, “Were supposed to be for Jekyll, but because of his behaviour earlier, so you're getting them instead.”

Hyde scoffed and grabbed the jar: “Jekyll behaved worse than I did? This is the most preposterous thing I've ever heard. Oh well, it doesn't matter. Those are mine now and Jekyll won't get anything. To be honest, I would have taken them anyway.”

_Of course he would hog all the sweets. Why am I not surprised …_

“Did Jekyll really accuse the Lady of being a snobbish hellcat earlier?”

“He did, although I'd rather you wouldn't use that kind of language.”

“I talk however I damn please”, the brunette retorted defiantly, much to the other's frustration.

“I might take that jar back” Utterson threatened.

Hyde responded by hissing like a cat and clutching the jar tighter.

Utterson swallowed his irritation. Hyde was young. Of course he was immature. For a second the lawyer felt envy at the other's youthfulness. But in the way he sat there, the big jar in his arms and pouting childishly, he looked almost adorable.

“What are these for anyway?”, the young man then asked with a curious smile.

The older one shifted uncomfortably, before beginning: “I noticed that I made you quite upset yesterday.”

Hyde's grin vanished immediately and he looked away.

The lawyer finished: “And Lady Summers said you had an existential crisis afterwards. So I thought that something to make up for it would be appropriate.”

“An apology present.”

“I suppose you could call it that, yes.”

For what seemed like an eternity, Hyde was silent. Then he asked quietly, too quietly: “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Before Utterson could answer, the brunette was crawling onto his lap, taking his face into both hands.

“You confound me”, the young man whispered, “What is it with you? Why is it, that you always take me by surprise? What makes you so different from all the others? There is something about you, that confuses me, Mr. Utterson, and I'm not sure, if I like it or not.”

The lawyer blushed dark red and his mind went into overload. Hyde's face was very close to his own and there was something ineffable, unsettling in his eyes, that put the older man on edge.

“I want to know all of your darkest secrets”, Hyde murmured, “And you will tell them to me. In fact”, he purred lowly and brought his face closer, “Why don't we start right now?”

Utterson blushed even harder and shocked sky blue eyes met mischievous bilious green ones.

The lawyer tried to protest, but couldn't utter a single word, while the younger man's breath ghosted over his own lips.

_No! I can't! I can't do this with Edward Hyde!_

But before more could happen, there was a loud 'Ahem!' and the spell was broken.

Hyde drew back and both men blinked in confusion. Upon turning to the door, they found Lady Summers standing in the door frame, grinning in amusement.

“Gentlemen, while I support free love, I'd rather not have my clients snog around here, especially not where everyone can see you. So, if you _have_ to make out, _please_ get a room.”

Hyde huffed in frustration and climbed off the flustered lawyer's lap.

“Have you been standing there the entire time?!”

“Pretty much.”

“Why?!”

“Because this is my house, where I can do what I want and I'm very much a control freak”, the Prussian answered candidly. “Besides, it's 10pm and I think we all should go to bed.”

_But I arrived less than half an hour ago! And … my apartment seems so strangely empty, when I come home._

“The guest room is open for you”, Lady Summers accommodated him.

“Thank you”, the lawyer replied gently.

She nodded and stepped over to Hyde. There she whispered in his ear, that made him puff his cheeks and sulk. He muttered something that sounded like “spoil sport”, but did whatever she had asked from him. She laughed: “I know, I know. But now off to bed with you!”

“I'm not a child!”, the brunette snapped and threw the blonde Lady a death glare.

She threw her arms up in surrender. “What ever helps you sleep at night, Mr. Hyde!”

“I don't sleep”, The young man retorted drily.

“What?!”, cried Utterson, who had finally settled down completely, only to be shocked by that revelation. Again. Why did he always have to deal with this?!

Hyde shrugged: “I'm a nocturnal, I can't help it. I sleep during the day, so I'm awake during the night. Doesn't mean I'm sleep-deprived.”

“Yes, you are”, Lady Summers contradicted coolly, “Don't lie. We all know that neither you nor Dr. Jekyll haven't slept properly in days. Since you asked me to lay off the sleeping pills, to be exact.”

“Why did you do that?”, Utterson cried in outrage.

“Because I will never be able to sleep normally again, if I always depend on pills to get some shut-eye! Like hell will I become addicted to sleeping drugs!”, Hyde hissed angrily.

The lawyer glared at Lady Summers, who defended herself: “Don't give me that look! That request and his reasoning were perfectly reasonable, that's why I agreed. I warned him of the consequences, he knew what he was doing.”

“And why did no one tell me anything?”

“Because it's none of your business!”, Hyde snarled.

“I think it is my business!”, Utterson snarled back angrily and grabbed the smaller man by the shoulder. “When both of you are completely sleep-deprived to the point, where-”

“Unhand me this instance or I will break your arms”, the younger man threatened.

The Prussian stepped in: “Ladies, please! You're _both_ pretty!”

They gaped at her incredulously.

“Ladies?!”, Utterson repeated, stunned.

Hyde blinked: “Pretty?!”

They looked at each other, then snorted in amusement.

“Good to see you find it funny”, Lady Summers remarked, “But seriously, settle down. It's far too late for a cat fight. Settle the rest in the sickroom, if you must.”

Both men glared at her for a bit, which she countered with an expressionless, cool glance of her own. Finally they gave in and Utterson accompanied Hyde back to the sickroom. The lawyer was too tired and frustrated to continue the argument, so he said goodnight and turned to leave the room.

Suddenly Hyde spoke up: “Mr. Utterson!”

The older man halted in his step. “Hm?”

“I accept your apology.”

That took Utterson by surprise yet again. Hyde's facial expression was genuine, he meant what he was saying.

That made the lawyer smile. “I'm glad. Good night, Mr. Hyde.”

 

It was just like all the other times, just worse. He knew, it wasn't real, but that didn't make it any less horrific. Every time he slept, he found himself in that dark street again, face to face with _that man_ again and every time, he had to relive the following events. But this time, something was different. He was all alone. Alone, lying on a dirty pavement in a dark street at night, screaming, but no one was coming. He was losing more and more blood, his sight was getting blurry and soon he realised that no one would come to save him this time, that he was going to-

_No! I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, someone help me, please-_

“ _Mister Hyde? Mister Hyde!_ Mister Hyde, wake up!”

He awoke with a scream, thrashing around in panic. Someone seized his wrists and held them fast.

“Calm down!”, a familiar voice cried out to him “Mr. Hyde, calm down! It's me, it's only me!”

With another scream, his eyes flew open. His sight was blurred by tears and it took a while until it cleared. He was in a room, there was dim light and he recognised the face of-

“Mr. Utterson?”, he croaked.

“Yes, it's me”, the black-haired man murmured soothingly, “Calm down. Take a deep breath. There is nothing to be afraid of. Whatever you saw, it was just a dream! Everything is fine! You're safe!”

He tried, he really did, but he was still shaken, still horrified, felt like he couldn't breathe-

“Shhhh”, the other cooed and let go of his wrists to gently rub his shoulders. “It's alright. Everything is alright. Just breathe. You're hyperventilating. Focus on my face, alright?”

So he did just that. Finally, it sunk in that he wasn't in a dark, dirty alley in Soho, he was in a warm, tidy room in the safety of Lady Summers' West End home, alive and well, and his saviour, to whom he owed this, was here with him.

It took a while till the spasms ended and the tension left his body, although slowly but surely Hyde felt himself relax. Remembering, that he had been crying, he wiped his face with a gown sleeve.

“What are you doing here?”, he finally asked weakly, looking at the taller man in the white morning coat, sitting on the edge of his hospital bed.

The lawyer shifted awkwardly. “I couldn't sleep, so I walked around the house. Then I heard you cry out in your sleep. That was a nasty nightmare you were having there, huh? What was it about?”

For a second, Hyde wanted to tell him, that it was none of his business. But then again, it _was_.

So he went for his bravado instead and shrugged: “Eh, just a trip down memory lane to the night I was shot. With a few altered details. Nothing major.”

Utterson's eyes widened in realisation and he took Hyde's hands. “Mr. Hyde, you don't have to be the strong one around me. That's a traumatic memory, of course it is something major. Why won't you tell me about the altered details?”

_I can't … if I do, I'll just start bawling again …_

“ _Edward, it's fine”_ , Jekyll's voice cooed inside his head. _“He has seen you cry before, you have nothing to lose.”_

_Screw you, Jekyll._

“ _You know I'm right. Just take a deep breath, it will be alright.”_

He gulped and took another deep breath to compose himself.

“It's the same every night. An exact repeat of the events of that night. I argue with you, leave, bump into that stranger, he says something and shoots me in the abdomen. I've had that dream, ever since I stopped taking the sleeping drugs. They always ensured, that I would sleep dreamlessly, but I couldn't depend on drugs to aid my sleep for the rest of my days. The Lady warned me what would happen and I knew it too, but I figured the nightmares would stop after a while and that I could deal with it alone.”

Hyde swallowed again and in spite of himself placed his hand, where his nightgown was covering the scar, stubbornly staring at said hand.

“But they didn't. And tonight it was different. It was worse. You weren't there. I just lay there on the ground in a dark, dirty alley, all alone and although I kept screaming, no one heard me, no one came. I just bled and bled, until-”

His voice failed him and it took all of his willpower not to cry right then and there. Instead, he dug his finger nails into his arms.

“Stop that”, Utterson told him calmly and pried his hands away. “There is no point in hurting yourself.”

“Don't bother”, Hyde muttered, “They're covered in scratches. See?”

He rolled up his sleeves, revealing streams on his sinewy, white arms, some new and red, some older and fading.

The lawyer touched them gingerly. “Why did you do that to yourself?”, he asked sadly.

The other sighed. Those were the scars he wasn't proud of, they were a product of his weakness.

“Because the pain helps me remember that I'm not dreaming anymore”, he confessed quietly.

“Mister Hyde”, Utterson said gently, “This is not a dream. The nightmare is over. You're alive and well.”

“I know that!”, he snapped, “It's just hard to- to …”

Before he knew what was happening, he was in the taller man's arms again and a delicate hand that wasn't quite as big as Jekyll's, but bigger than his own, was rubbing his back.

“It's alright”, he heard the lawyer's voice mumble, “I'm here. Just like I was back then. Let it all out.”

There was something about his voice. Hyde couldn't pit-point it, but it broke his walls down. A sob escaped from his mouth, then another. His sight blurred again, he buried his face in the lawyer's chest and let the waterworks flow. Through his wailing, he could hear Utterson murmur words of comfort, could feel the other's right hand rub circles across his back and softly run the fingers of the left through his dark brown hair. Slowly, oh so slowly, the anxiety faded away, until it was finally gone.

After some more bawling, the brunette inhaled deeply and leaned into this comforting embrace.

In the morning he would deny that this ever happened, but that was yet to be and this was now. And he had never been one to live in the future. But Hyde knew what he wanted, what he needed, and right now he needed the black-haired lawyer to stay with him, to remind him that the nightmares weren't real, that everything was alright.

“You better not go now”, he growled menacingly, but the intimidating effect was lost on how hoarse his voice was.

_Please don't leave me alone._

When Utterson answered, Hyde could hear the smile in his voice: “Well, it's almost Sunday, so there will be no harm for me in staying here all night.”

The young man couldn't help but sigh in relief. He focussed on the hands stroking his back and hair. That felt good. It was real. Much better than the scratching.

He didn't know how long they stayed in that position, but eventually Utterson loosened his grip and asked him: “Are you feeling better?”

The brunette hummed affirmatively, slipped out of the older man's arms and lay back down. The lawyer took his hand, though. If Hyde hadn't known better, he could have sworn, that the lawyer was fond of him. That was preposterous, of course. But still …

“I really don't understand, why you're so kind to me.”

Utterson answered: “Because I realised something that night.”

“And what would that be?”

“That you're human. As a human, you have the right to kindness. And who will give it to you, if I don't?”

Hyde bit his lip. “You're going to make me bawl again”, he warned the lawyer.

“My apologies.”

“Why did you save me anyway?”

“Sorry?”

“You didn't know that I'm also Henry Jekyll. I provoked you beforehand. And you hated me. So why didn't you just leave me for death?”

Utterson looked pensively for a minute. Then he said: “I will be honest with you: for the split of a second, I actually considered it.”

“But you didn't do it”, Hyde noted softly. “You brought me here. You gave me your blood.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Why? What changed your mind?”, he asked again.

Utterson looked a bit awkward. “I … I'm not entirely sure. Maybe I thought, that I would never forgive myself, if I just let someone die like that. What kind of person would that have made me? An indirect murderer? Or just plain a complete bastard? Or both?”

In spite of himself, the smaller man smiled gently. “My life has never mattered enough for anyone to even ask that question”, he confessed.

The older man shook his head: “That's just sad.”

The younger one shrugged. “If you say so. But … it mattered enough to you.”

“Yes.”

“That's confusing.”

“Only to someone, who has no concept of right and wrong.”

Hyde looked the lawyer dead in the eyes. “You know, I give you a lot of liberties, because you're my saviour”, he informed him.

“I already observed that”, he replied drily.

“I don't allow anyone else to touch my hair, for example.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Not when it's you.”

“Good, because I like your hair. It's soft and silky”, Utterson informed him bluntly.

Hyde felt his cheeks grow hot and there was something in his chest, that felt weird. Could that be a heartbeat? His heart had never beat before. No, that was ridiculous.

 _Don't get carried away, Edward Hyde_ , he scolded himself. _You just got complimented by an old man for your hair. Nothing special._

“ _Come on”_ , Jekyll's voice teased him, _“You know you like it!”_

 _Shut up_ , Hyde thought angrily. He would rather cut his tongue off, before he admitted, that he was beginning to understand, what Jekyll saw in Utterson.

But there was one thing he could admit to.

He wouldn't kiss the older man's hand, that was way too corny, but he did entwine their fingers and whispered to the blushing lawyer: “Thank you, Mr. Utterson. Thank you for everything.”

Utterson smiled brightly and his eyes twinkled. “You're welcome, Mr. Hyde.”

He wasn't physically remarkable, but in that moment, he looked truly beautiful.

Hyde decided that his favourite colour was cerulean blue.

The colour of the other's eyes.

 

* * *

 

Hyde is weirded out by Utterson's friendliness, Utterson is freaked out by Hyde's flirting attempts and Lady Summers is the designated mum once again.

Here there be drama, comedy and fluff. Damn, how I love my angst. XD

 


	15. The day before Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are discussed, there is Jekyde angst and Lady Summers does her job. This was initially a longer chapter, but I got frustrated, so I cut it in half.

Hyde was standing behind the curtain, looking out of the window. The snow was falling down gently and the people were busy in the street. It was that time of the year again, when everybody acted like everything was sunshine and rainbows.

Christmas tidings had come so fast, not that it mattered to him. Why should it? It was just a stupid holiday, brats were spoiled, people acted like everything was fine and like everyone was friends and all that rubbish. What was that about anyway? Why had someone decided that the birthday of a random man, who had been crucified, should be a special day? Of course, all those people out there would have an answer.

But Edward Hyde didn't believe in God. Henry Jekyll was his creator, the closest thing to a god he would ever come. And if God existed, there would be no place in heaven for him. Not that he wanted one, anyway.

“That's the spirit”, a voice behind him snickered, “Company is much more interesting in hell.”

He hadn't heard Lady Summers enter the room. She smiled gently and joined him at the window.

“You look down”, she observed, looking at him from the side.

He shrugged and went back to watching the crowd of people scurrying through the square, hurrying to make the last errands for their Christmas dinners, gifts for their brats and whatnot.

That was the most hypocritical time of the year. Suddenly all of those rich people tried to ease their conscience by acting all caring and charitable and emptied their pockets for the poor, just so everyone could see how nice and generous they were. In truth they didn't give a damn, whether someone would starve or freeze to death or not.

Jekyll too had given generous donations to the public kitchens of London this year, just like all the others before. It was always the same.

“Aren't you being a bit harsh upon us, Mr. Hyde?”, Lady Summers remarked with a frown. “I mean, it's not like _you_ give a damn.”

“At least I don't pretend that I do!”, Hyde hissed.

Lady Summers scolded him in response: “Sometimes it's better to pretend that you care.”

“Is it?”, the brunette grumbled.

“Yes. Yes, it is, Mr. Hyde.”

“Well, what do _you_ do during Christmas?”, he asked hotly.

She shrugged. “I give twice as much donations as the other months, fetch my servants to buy the ingredients for the Christmas dinner, we decorate a Christmas tree and decorate the house. On Christmas Eve we write letters to each other-”

“You and who?”, Hyde inquired.

“Me and my servants”, the Prussian clarified. “They are the ones I celebrate Christmas with, since I can't do it with my relatives.”

“Are your servants related to you?”

She stared at him. Then her eyes narrowed and she asked slowly: “What gave you that idea?”

“Well, you said that you and your father travelled the world several times. And that Japanese girl, whose name I can't pronounce … she has the same eye colour as you. But all the East Asian immigrants I have seen before had dark eyes. I refuse to believe that it's just a coincidence, that her eyes are the exact same shade of blue as yours.”

Her face was stone, when she told him: “Mister Hyde. That is none of your concern and I wish for you to not address it any further. You're treading on very thin ice by asking me about my relations.”

Her tone was cold enough to intimidate the young man. He muttered an apology and her face relaxed slightly.

Right in that moment, there was laughter and when Hyde looked back down, he saw a group of people walking the street under joyful laughter and smiles.

“Those men are returning from their military service to spend Christmas at home with their loved ones”, Lady Summers said.

“I didn't need to know that”, Hyde mumbled and felt immense hatred and envy consume his entire being. Those men looked so genuinely happy to see each other, seemed to feel so much joy … he wanted them to disappear …

“Mister Hyde. Calm down.”

The Prussian's sweet, mellow and faint lisp actually did calm him down a little. He envied her for having such a lovely voice, when everybody hated his own guttural rasp.

“I don't hate your voice”, she comforted him. “I find it rather nice, actually.”

Hyde sighed sadly. He believed her, he did. Lady Summers didn't lie to her clients. But … 

“Tell me, Milady”, he turned to her, “Have you ever truly envied someone? Have you ever cursed your fate because someone else had something you want but never will have and wished you were in their place?”

She sighed sadly. “Of course. Almost every day, actually.”

That was hard to believe. She seemed to be such an all-rounder, as if nothing was impossible for her.

“I was never able to have children, for example”, she explained, “That's because of the same condition that makes me spit blood and leaves me in constant pain. That's bad for a woman for a lot of reasons, but for a noblewoman like me, whose primary purpose should be producing an heir, that's a catastrophe. Needless to say, no one of my class wanted to marry me. The only man, who was willing to marry me, was impotent.”

Hyde scowled. “A woman like you didn't find a husband, just because she's sterile?! That's stupid.”

She shrugged: “A woman can be as remarkable as all the great men of history combined, if she can't produce a child, preferably a son, she's practically worthless.” She grinned. “I must admit to being a little surprised, Mr. Hyde. I didn't pin you to be a feminist, considering how you treat the prostitutes you frequent.”

The brunette knew, what she was getting at. He was a man, who took what he wanted, more than often by brute force. Of course he paid the whores he had his way with, but that didn't change the fact, that what he did to them was rape and abuse.

“What a striking observation”, the Lady remarked sarcastically, “Just don't let Mr. Utterson know, that you're also a rapist.”

“I doubt that it would surprise him much. But seriously, I still don't understand, why you're not disgusted by me”, Hyde muttered.

She shrugged: “That's a good question. Although I see the appeal that some people find in being a rapist, I despise those people. I guess I'm just that whimsical with whom I take interest in. maybe it's because you're so unique. I have a faible for the exotic.”

He scoffed: “You don't hope you can better me, do you?”

The Lady laughed: “Not at all! I don't expect you to ever become a good man, Mr. Hyde. I expect you to learn how to control yourself.”

He joined her laughter. That was really funny, it was!

She composed herself and cleared her throat: “Anyway, I came here, because I wanted to tell you something.”

That made him curious. “What would that be?”

“Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “And your point is …?”

“If you want to have some company, instead of moping here all on your own, then you two are welcome to join us.”

She always said 'you two', when she meant both him and Jekyll. That left the possibility, that she might have meant Jekyll exclusively, out of the picture.

Hyde bit his lip. “Your servants don't like me. You can't tell me that it's fine with them.”

She smirked. What was so funny now?

“Actually, it was their idea”, she informed him. “Only a few of them are Christians and actually celebrate Christmas, we do it just for the sake of being together. And my servants told me, that they don't like the idea of you being here all alone, while we have fun downstairs. And who am I to disagree?”

“But what about your nurse?”, Hyde objected. He remembered all too clearly, how the buxom Austrian had reacted to his peeping. Worse, she, the Lady and Lanyon had collectively decided back then, that keeping him shaved for as long as the wound healed, would be a good idea.

The Prussian chuckled: “Marie? Oh, don't worry. She exacted her retribution, when she gave you that body shave. She's not angry at you anymore.”

He couldn't decide, if he should be relieved or not.

“So, are you taking my offer or not?”, questioned the blonde.

_Gee, I don't know. What do you say, Jekyll?_

Jekyll's voice, which had been oddly quiet the entire day, responded: _“Yes … yes, please.”_

The brunette shrugged. “Guess we will, then.”

“Good!”, cried Lady Summers, looking very pleased with herself. “You won't regret it, I promise! We're not the kind of household to sing boring Christmas carols and read parts from the bible during our celebrations.”

“ _They're not?”_ , Jekyll's voice cried out in surprise.

Hyde laughed again.

 

As soon as she was gone, Hyde went back to his hospital bed, lying down. He was bored out of his mind, watching the people in the street had just made him angry and envious and he had already finished the book the Lady had given him two days before.

For some reason, he was also sad, although he couldn't explain, why.

“ _Hyde?”_ Jekyll's voice sounded concerned. _“Hyde, what's the matter?”_

The brunette chuckled: “You've been so quiet lately, my dear Doctor.”

“ _Yes. I suppose, I was.”_

“It was getting annoying.”

Jekyll fell silent again, much to Hyde's irritation. Finally, he awkwardly confessed: _“I thought you would appreciate it. You were so angry at me.”_

“I still am”, Hyde told him, “But Utterson has been so busy in the last days and with you being all silent, it was getting kind of lonely. Sure, Lady Summers is here, but it's still not the same.”

He sat up again and gestured to the empty space next to him.

“Come here.”

His shadow morphed into a taller, different-looking silhouette, before taking the ghostly, shadowy form of Dr. Jekyll. The shadow sat down next to him and Hyde leaned towards his other half, allowing him to run his hand up his back over his neck and head.

“ _Your back and shoulder muscles are tense”_ , Jekyll noted.

“I know”, Hyde murmured, leaning into the touch.

The doctor stood up again and produced some oil from a drawer in the night table.

“ _Turn around”_ , he instructed him gently, _“I'll give you a massage.”_

Hyde complied, stripped off his waistcoat and shirt (by now he was allowed to wear clothes again) and let the other tug his long, café hair out of the way. He hummed appreciatively, when he felt the blond's large hands apply the oil onto his back, then massage him expertly.

“Keep going!”, he moaned, arching his back, “Just like that – ahhhh – oh yes, that's the spot – ohhh – oh, that feels so good … so good – hnnn – oh, Jekyll, don't stop! Ahhh …”

Jekyll laughed behind him. _“You're sounding like a prostitute”_ , he snickered.

Hyde smirked roguishly. “Am I arousing you?”, he teased his other half.

“ _Maybe?”_ , the older man breathed in his ear, never stopping his movements.

“Oh, you dirty – nnhh – dirty, old man!”, the brunette moaned, arching into the other's touch, but without letting himself go. Hyde knew, what Jekyll wanted, but like hell would he give him that satisfaction. He hadn't quite forgiven him just yet and if the doctor wanted to play, then they would play by _his_ rules. Of course it was hard to hold back, especially when you were the very embodiment of the other's desires and sins. The fact, that Jekyll was currently nibbling at the sensitive shell of his ear, while he was massaging him, didn't help either.

Hyde peered over his shoulder. “You're not planning to fuck your alter ego senseless in a foreign household, where someone could walk in on us every moment, are you?”, he pointed out with a grin.

Jekyll blinked and his shadowy cheeks darkened with a blush. _“You're right. My apologies, Hyde. How stupid of me.”_

“And you say _I_ have no self-control!”, the younger man chuckled gleefully.

But the blond kept massaging his back and shoulders and peppering his nape with cool, shadowy kisses.

Problem was just, although he enjoyed it audibly, Hyde really wasn't in the mood right now. He was still angry at his other half and wanted him to suffer at least a little bit.

“Seriously, it's enough, Jekyll. Not even _I_ am horny 24/7.”

The other halted his movements.

“ _I'm sorry”_ , Jekyll whispered shamefully, _“I can't help myself, when you make these noises.”_

Hyde smiled for the split of a second. He loved it, when his other half wanted him, not that he'd ever tell him that.

“ _You really are still angry at me, aren't you?”_

“Yes.”

“ _So you're leaving me to suffer with my arousal?”_

“Well, I'm very petty, so yes.”

The shadow laughed forcedly: _“You little demon. If you were aroused as well, you would deny yourself just to spite me, wouldn't you?”_

“You brought this upon yourself, Doctor”, the younger man snickered. “I'm your darker half, remember? Letting you suffer is my biggest joy in life!”

He stopped laughing. “Also, you can't expect me to still indulge you, when you treat me like a lesser being and have the nerve to call yourself my 'better half'. You're so ungrateful. Do I not make you feel young and alive again? Do I not allow you to get lost in the sensations that I feel, when I indulge desires, that are yours rather than my own? Is it not thanks to me, that you finally can be with your beloved lawyer? I don't have to let you share my pleasures, Jekyll. I could blend you out completely, whenever I take over, but I don't. I share almost everything with you. And despite all this, you still deny me, try to get rid of me, you don't even respect me.”

He ignored the lone tear, that rolled down his pale cheek.

“I hate you, Henry Jekyll.”

Two long arms wrapped themselves around his small frame and something wet dropped onto his bare shoulder. Good. He wasn't the only one hurting.

“ _I hate you too, Edward Hyde.”_

 

The following night he awoke in tears yet again. This time it had been another nightmare, another horrible memory, another thing he wanted to forget, but couldn't.

And Utterson wasn't there to comfort him this time, he was alone with his anxiety.

“ _Hyde?”_

He sobbed in relief, when Jekyll manifested at his bedside.

“It was _that_ dream again”, he croaked.

“ _The one about when you got shot?”_

“No, the other one.”

Jekyll's eyes widened in realisation.

“ _Oh, Hyde.”_

The smaller man curled up under the blankets and allowed the taller to stroke his hair, while he sobbed into his pillow.

“I just want to forget it all”, he whimpered.

“ _I know, Edward. I know. I want to forget it too. Shhhh …”_

Suddenly, a petrol lamb was lighted.

“Mister Hyde?”

He jumped up and screamed in terror.

But it was just Lady Summers, wearing a black peignoir over a white night-gown.

“Calm down!”, she exclaimed, raising her hands in an appeasing gesture. “It's just me!”

Hyde wheezed and grasped his chest. “Did you have to startle me like that?!”, he hissed weakly.

What was she doing here anyway? Shouldn't she be asleep?

“Philippine and Nikolai heard you scream and woke me up, because they were concerned”, the Lady explained and gestured behind herself.

Only now did Hyde recognise the two figures behind her, the petite French night nurse and the huge Russian night guard.

He felt a blush rise to his cheeks, as he muttered that it had only been a nightmare.

The nurse and night guard were satisfied with that explanation and saw themselves out.

But their mistress stayed.

“That must have been a nasty nightmare, if it terrified you so”, she remarked and sat next to him and Jekyll.

“Shall I read your mind, or do you want to tell me?”

He couldn't. Not even her.

She frowned and then he saw a flash run through her eyes; she was reading his mind.

Her eyes widened in bewilderment. She opened her arms. “Come here.”

Hyde leaned over and slumped into the other's embrace. He could no longer weep, but he sobbed into the Lady's shoulder, while she gently stroked his back and head and hummed a sweet, lulling tune into his ear.

Finally, her singing and her scent of chocolate and peppermint carried him off to better dreams.

 

As soon as he was out like a light, she gave the sleeping young man a sad look, before turning to his alter ego.

“ _When was the last time he slept so peacefully?”_ , she asked the doctor mentally, so as not to disturb the brunette's sleep.

Dr. Jekyll looked pensive, then whispered back: _“Last time was when Gab- Mr. Utterson was with us. Hyde slept so soundly with him by his side.”_

“ _Do you know why?”_

“ _Utterson has that effect on people.”_

“ _That too, but it's not what I mean.”_

“ _I can't follow.”_

“ _Mr. Hyde could sleep peacefully, because your friend is the man who not only saved his life, but also is willing to listen to him and respect him. He can fall asleep in my arms, because I'm his therapist and he sees me as a mother figure. That's what he needs, you see. He needs someone he trusts to be with him, when he is falling apart. Someone with a calming influence, who isn't as broken as he is. He unconsciously trusts Mr. Utterson and me, but he doesn't trust you.”_

“ _I know”_ , the doctor mumbled sadly and stroked his sleeping alter ego's hair that was surrounding his head like a dark halo. In the dim light of the petrol lamb, Mr. Hyde's café brown hair looked black. _“Although I wish he would.”_

“ _After all the times you tried to rid yourself of him?”_

“…”

The Lady knew that she had hit a nerve, but she also knew that this time there was no excuse the doctor could hide behind. This time he had to listen.

So she accommodated him by giving him an advice: _“The other problem is, that you both love and hate him. He knows that and requites the sentiment. Learn to love him unconditionally and without hatred. You can start by giving him a sincere apology. I must warn you, though. Don't expect one apology to magically make it all okay. You have to prove to him, that your intentions are true. Then he will learn to trust you. After that point, all you can do is give him time.”_

She smiled. _“In fact, you can start tomorrow. I mean, what better time to get closer to someone than Christmas?”_

Dr. Jekyll shyly smiled back and both of them looked down on Mr. Hyde, who was looking like an innocent child in his slumber. It was a cute sight and became even cuter, when the young brunette turned to lie onto his side and grabbed the hand, that was stroking his hair. He was sensing the doctor's presence even in his sleep. That became obvious, when he softly mumbled the other's name and clutched the larger hand, like a cat did with a ball of yarn.

The Lady and the doctor chuckled fondly.

_So adorable. If I didn't know, who this man is …_

 


	16. The strangest Christmas tidings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas in Lady Summer's household and there are a lot of emotions, because that's how Christmas rolls.

16\. The strangest Christmas tidings

 

Utterson was in a hurry today. It was Christmas time, so he had closed his office for the holidays. Unlike normally around this time of the year, he felt euphoric. This year's Christmas was better than all the others. Lady Summers had invited him and Lanyon to celebrate with them and because Jekyll and Hyde were there too, he could be in the presence of the dearest person in his life. And this time, no one had to hide their feelings. The lawyer suspected, that Hyde had a negativistic attitude towards the most wonderful time of the year, but also hoped, that the small brunette wouldn't make a fuss. But what he hoped even more was that Hyde would let Jekyll be in control, just for a while.

When he arrived, the butler let him in and wished him a merry Christmas. The lawyer requited that wish, only to then remember, that Mr. Singh was a Hindu and didn't really celebrate Christmas as anything other than a day to spend with the rest of the household. Awkwardly he apologised to the Indian, who chuckled good-humouredly and took it in stride.

 _This happens every year_ , he thought in embarrassment, as he allowed the butler to lead him to the parlour.

As always, the decoration was colourful and multicultural. Just like the mistress of the house preferred it. It smelled of exotic, expensive spices and baked fruits and for a few seconds, the lawyer allowed himself to be enveloped by the heavy, but rich scent.

Then he was torn back into the moment by cheerful laughter and saw Lanyon and Jekyll sit on one of the couches. They were chatting and laughing about old times.

Utterson felt his heart swell at the sight and silently hid behind a curtain to listen and see, when they would notice him.

“… And do you remember that one time in chemistry class, when we messed up the professor's chemicals, while he wasn't looking?”

“Ugh, don't remind me. That was such a low point.”

“Come on! It was priceless!”

Lanyon chuckled: “Alright, I admit it: that was completely worth the subsequent beating and permanent notation in our school files.”

Jekyll smirked: “Prof. Whitby's reaction was … an utter masterpiece!”

The white-haired doctor smirked back: “I remember, how the principle had to tie him to a chair, until he calmed down! He screamed bloody murder the entire time!”

The blond giggled: “Yes, he was like a burnt, rabid monkey! And with all the coal on him and his hair looking like a hedgehog, it was glorious! Oh, if only I'd had a camera back then!”

Now Utterson spoke up: “I think if you had, they would have taken it away from you.”

The two doctors yelped in surprise and whirled around.

The lawyer smiled and opened his arms. “Merry Christmas, you two.”

Jekyll immediately jumped up and ran into his arms, hugging him tightly.

Utterson laughed and allowed himself to melt into the taller man's embrace for a moment, until Lanyon joined them.

“Merry Christmas”, the latter replied to his friend, before prying Jekyll off of him, so he could breathe again.

“Don't suffocate him, Henry”, Lanyon chuckled. The other doctor let go and mumbled an awkward apology and a 'Merry Christmas'.

The lawyer laughed: “I see, you're talking about the good ol' times!”

Jekyll smiled: “Yes, we are. It feels so good, that we can do that again.”

“It is”, Lanyon agreed softly, smiling as well. “And not just because it's Christmas.”

The lawyer smirked: “Let me join you two. I also remember some silly stories from back then.”

They sat on the couch and resumed their dwelling in the old times. Utterson contributed with the silly debaucheries Jekyll had been up to during their college time.

“ … And do you remember that one time you almost got the three of us expelled for throwing a party in our dorm and getting us drunk?”

“Of course I do! Not proud of it, but seeing you drunk sure was an event!”

“Or that one time Gabriel and I woke up one day long before due, only to find that you weren't there?”

“Don't you dare, Lanyon!”

“Oh yes! We were worried sick and spent the entire morning looking for you-”

“Not you too, Gabriel!”

“-only to find you passed out in the school garden, half naked, with love bites all over you!”

“Noooo, why did you have to bring that up?! That was the worst thing-”

“Come on, Jekyll! Apart from the two of us, no one saw you!”

“You never let me hear the end of it!”

“Well, serves you right! That's what you get for sneaking out in the middle of the night.”

“Come on, that was over thirty years ago! How do you even still remember it that vividly?”

Lanyon smirked: “Because it was that hilarious, that's how! Besides, it's just payback for that one time you drew on my face in my sleep! Or that one time you laughed at my pony tail and called it old-fashioned!”

“Oh come on! I apologised! And didn't I always defend you, when our fellow students were mean to you?”

The bespectacled man smiled fondly: “Yes, of course I remember that. Like that one time someone called me a teacher's pet with freak eyes and you brawled with him in front of everyone! And somehow you still managed for _him_ to get expelled, instead of yourself. That was really wicked of you, Jekyll.”

“I know, but I would lie, if I said that I regret it.”

Lanyon muttered something under his breath, that sounded like: “Idiot.” But he smiled.

Utterson laughed and put his bag on the table. Just when he was about to hand his presents to his friends, suddenly an angry screech tore through the festive atmosphere.

“What was that?”, Jekyll asked in shock.

Utterson frowned: “That must have been Lady Summers.”

Lanyon sighed: “Sounds like she received a letter or a cable from her relatives in Germany. She isn't very fond of them-”

Before he could end his sentence, the Lady herself rushed into the room. She was sputtering something that sounded dangerously like German profanities, pieces of paper in her gloved hand.

Then she flung herself onto the couch by the fireplace in a rather unladylike manner.

“Agh!”, she fumed, _“Ich hasse diesen Kerl!”*_

When she saw the three clueless gentlemen staring at her, she cleared her throat and sat up.

“My apologies, gentlemen”, she excused herself, “That you have to see me like this. I just received a letter from my second cousin and it's extremely offensive.”

She threw one piece of paper onto the red carpet and rested her feet on it.

The gentlemen winced and exchanged looks. Whoever this second cousin was, he must have really infuriated her, if she treated his letter so disrespectfully.

Finally it was Jekyll who gathered his courage first. “Uhm … Milady, if you don't mind … what does it say, that offends you so?”, he inquired as cautiously as possible.

She huffed, removed her feet from the letter and picked it up.

“Normally, I don't read the letters of my relatives out loud”, she conceded, “But there is no harm in letting people know, what an idiotic sod he is. Feast your ears on this gibberish!”

She unfolded the letter and began to translate the content:

“ _My dear cousin,_

_I wish you a happy Christmas tiding._

_It's truly a shame that a member of our exalted house is not here to celebrate this joyous time with us. It's a disgrace really, that a woman like you chooses to spend it with English snobs, rather than in her true father land, with her true people and her true family. But if those are the people you want to waste your formidable skills on, that's none of my concern._

_But this is the time of forgiveness, so I shall not hold any grievances._

_I am well. The emperor is having health problems, but that's no surprise for such an old man. He's almost ninety after all, he won't last another five years._

_Father and mother are fine, if only they wouldn't waste their time on those treacherous  so foolishly._

_Old chancellor Bismarck is patronising as always and I wish he would finally bite the dust or at least resign._

_I hope you and your exotic household have a merry Christmas and say hello to my uncle and grandmother from me._

 

_Most respectfully and hoping that one day you will come to your senses and serve OUR monarchy rather than the British,_

 

_Prince Wilhelm.”_

She stopped and crushed the letter in her hands, her ice blue eyes blazing with fury.

Meanwhile the men in front of her were mute with disbelief. The servants present in the room stood in awkward silence.

Utterson wasn't sure if he was more shocked by the rudeness of the letter or by the revelation of just how powerful her father's family was.

“Can you believe this?!”, she seethed, “It's already bad enough that this arrogant bastard has the impudence to bother me on Christmas Eve, but this takes the cake!”

With a growl, she tore the letter into half.

“That 26-year-old brat has the gall- ”

She tore it into quarters,

“-and the nerve to sign 'Prince'-”

She tore it into eighths,

“-just to rub into my face how inferior he thinks I am!”

She threw the pieces into the fire place. Then she dropped back onto the couch with a frustrated sigh. Her Japanese lady-in-waiting fanned her with a huge paper fan. Her butler served her a glass of cordial, she thanked him meekly and downed it in one gulp.

The gentlemen also received a glass of liquor each.

Jekyll began: “I'm really sorry, Milady-”

“No, no”, she interrupted him, “It's me, who's sorry. You are my guests and clients, you shouldn't have to deal with my family issues, especially not on Christmas Eve.”

She skimmed over the other letters, burned another two of them and gave the rest to her butler, who left the room with them.

“Foo! And that on this day!”, she lamented.

Finally, her nurse approached her: “Milady … don't let that silly, foolish letter upset you. It's Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year! Don't let that be ruined by a piece of paper! Wilhelm is just a proper rake. Forget him and the entire brood and celebrate!”

Her mistress smiled sadly and tiredly and replied: “You're right. Thank you, Marie.”

Then she turned to her guests.

“But I realise, I haven't greeted you properly, how rude of me! I apologise. Merry Christmas, gentlemen. Thank you for joining us today.”

“The thanks are ours”, Lanyon answered, then saw the bottle and spoon the butler handed to her and added, “But please lay off the brandy. You shouldn't get drunk today, Milady.”

“Oh, that's not brandy”, the Lady assured him, “I'm just taking a spoonful of laudanum to calm myself down.”

“Fine”, the hoary doctor consented doubtfully.

Yet the three gentlemen were still concerned. Jekyll had never and the latter two only a few times seen the Lady so genuinely upset and they were a bit helpless in that moment.

Utterson particularly loathed himself, because she had always been a source of support and good counsel to him, whenever he had needed it and now, that she herself was out of order, he didn't know how to help her and he hated it. When he regarded his friends, it became clear, that they were thinking similarly.

It was Lanyon, who spoke next: “Merry Christmas, Milady. That means, a merrier one than it is right now.”

The other two followed suit.

She smiled gently and thanked them, before sitting up and gesturing to the empty space next to her.

“Sit with me, Dr. Lanyon”, she requested and he obeyed.

Utterson suppressed a grin, when her hand brushed his with obvious deliberation and his old friend blushed.

Jekyll didn't even bother to hide his smirk. “Something we should know, Hastie?”, he teased.

“Shut up”, the other muttered, his blush increasing.

Utterson came to his friend's aid: “Leave him be, Jekyll. Their matter is a convoluted one.”

“Indeed it is”, Lady Summers confirmed, “But I can assure you, Dr. Jekyll, that there is nothing indecent about this matter. No ground for teasing.”

“Of that I have no doubt”, Jekyll defended himself, “I just couldn't help myself there. But I would never accuse either of you of being indecent.”

“Good.”

Then the butler returned to fetch the bottle of laudanum and inform everyone that brunch was ready.

“Oh, that's wonderful!”, the hostess exclaimed in delight, “This brightens my day immediately! Gentlemen, you must join us! My employees and I will be happy to have three more at our table! Especially, since my cooks prepared far too much food this year!”, she added with a teasing wink and everyone laughed.

So the butler saved the morning, which from there was passed with the appropriate merriment.

 

“Oh my! Mr. Utterson, you really didn't have to!”, Lady Summers cried, holding up an expensive new black raincoat.

“I beg to differ”, Utterson said, “I saw the state of your old raincoat and I thought one can never go wrong with a practical present.”

Jekyll smiled.

_Of course, that's so much like you, Gabe._

“It's beautiful!”, she marvelled, running her hands over the elaborate pattern and needlework. Then she jumped up and darted off with the coat, bubbling in excitement about how she had to try it on immediately.

Jekyll chuckled good-naturedly. It was so hard to believe, that this woman was actually fifty years old, when she was looking and behaving as excitedly as a young maid.

Meanwhile Lanyon got his present from Utterson and beamed at the new walking cane he unwrapped. “Oh, thank you, Gabriel! How did you know?”

“Lawyer's instinct”, Utterson said mysteriously.

Jekyll blushed a little. He hadn't heard that tone in ages, yet it still managed to grab his attention.

Then the black-haired man handed him his own present and his heart beat higher.

With barely held-back curiosity, the blond looked at the package in his hand. It was small and rectangular and wrapped in red paper. It took him some self-restraint to open it in an appropriate manner, instead of just tearing the wrapping off like a spoiled child.

In the end, his eyes widened in awe: he held a beautiful golden locket in his hand. When he snapped it open, it contained a miniature portrait of Utterson on one side and on the inside of the lid a silver engraving.

_From: G. J. Utterson_

_To: H. Jekyll._

Before Jekyll could say thank you or … anything really, his hand closed around the treasure, he clutched it to his chest and burst into tears in front of everyone.

In his head, Hyde groaned: _“Really, Jekyll? He gives you a locket and you start to bawl? Instead of, I don't know, kissing him?! Really?!”_

_Hyde, shut up!_

Suddenly he felt Utterson's smaller hand on his own.

“What's the matter?”, the lawyer asked worriedly, “Do you not like it?”

“I do!”, Jekyll choked, “It's … it's … beautiful!”

Then he cried harder.

“ _Oh good grief, somebody stop the waterworks!”_ , Hyde yelled in frustration.

_Oh shut up, you hell child cried yesterday!_

“ _I didn't cry over a present! I was in great distress! Partly because of you, may I add! Also, I didn't cry_ that _much!”_

Finally Lady Summers ended the mental argument by handing the doctor a handkerchief and telling him to compose himself.

“This is a day of joy, no more tears”, she said.

“But surely, tears of joy must be acceptable!”, Jekyll cried and dried his tears with the kerchief.

But she shook her head. “No. Settle down, doctor, before your alter ego gets the vapours. Besides, some of the people present here are really uncomfortable with tears.”

“ _Oh, thank you so much!”_ , Hyde sighed in relief.

 _You're a brat, do you know that?_ , the doctor thought in annoyance, then he inhaled deeply and blinked away the last tears.

“You're right”, he finally agreed with the Lady, “My apologies. What ungentlemanly behaviour of me. I just didn't expect to be caught by surprise like that.”

“No one judges you”, the Lady pardoned him graciously, “That is a wonderful gift you received.”

Then her face turned pensive and dreamy. “Yes”, she murmured, “Love is a wonderful gift.”

Her eyes became distant and melancholy, as if she was thinking of times long gone. Jekyll guessed, that she was thinking of her late husband.

“I miss him”, she told them sadly, “It's been twenty-one years, since we last celebrated Christmas together. And my father always sat with us. Then we would chat and laugh about the silliest things. He died five years after my husband. Honestly, gentlemen, one of the reasons I invited you, is that every Christmas I sit here and then I see the two of them again. And then I feel lonely, despite all the servants I employ. None of them knew my husband and only a few knew my father. And do you know what the worst is? Today would have been my father's 70th birthday. Every Christmas is bittersweet.”

Jekyll felt his heart clench.

He couldn't imagine how it was to lose someone so dear, that you mourned them for decades.

Sure, when Lanyon had left him almost eleven years ago, he had taken the loss really hard. He been had completely lost without his colleague's constancy and sense to keep him sane.

But it wasn't the same.

Lanyon was still alive, thanks to the help of Lady Summers. He could talk to him, they could still argue, reconcile, cry and laugh together and be there for each other.

But the Lady herself had lost her husband and father (likely the most important people in her life) forever and nothing would ever bring them back.

It was heart-wrenching and Jekyll had to bite his lip.

“ _Don't! Don't you dare!”_ , Hyde warned. _“I don't care how depressing this is, you will not start to bawl on me again!”_

_Don't worry, I'm not going to._

“ _Be glad, that you can do all these things, Henry. You owe that to_ her _.”_

_You're right._

Jekyll cleared his throat.

“Milady, may I tell you something?”

She blinked. “Oh? Ah, sure.”

“Thank you. For saving Hyde and me and for saving Lanyon.”

Her eyes grew softer than he had ever seen, as she smiled in response.

“You don't have to thank me, Dr. Jekyll. It was my pleasure.”

Then, all of the sudden, she broke into a huge grin. “But away with these melancholy reflections! I haven't given out my presents yet!”

 

Lanyon almost laughed at Jekyll's face, when the Countess handed him her present.

“A pot plant?”, the blond asked incredulously.

The Prussian Lady nodded enthusiastically: “When I first went to your house to fetch your chemicals, I saw that you didn't have any plants in your house. What a depressing atmosphere! I thought I had to change that! A flower in the office brightens everyone's mood!”

Jekyll didn't reply and for a moment the white-head thought he was disappointed. But the younger doctor just stared at the pot full of earth, that contained the seed of what surely was to become a beautiful flower.

“It's … it's such a delicate life form … I don't think I can-”

“Nonsense! You're a doctor, of course you can! Besides, you need something to take care of, when you're not treating your patients. This little flower will depend on you to live. You're its parent from now on, so take good care of it.”

“What kind of flower is it?”, Jekyll wanted to know.

The Lady's eyes twinkled. “That's a surprise!”

Lanyon got his present next, a pair of velvet gloves. He didn't show his friends the other present hidden between them: a locket with a miniature portrait.

“Thank you, Milady.”

He hoped that she would understand.

She laughed warmly. She understood.

Utterson received a bottle of fine champagne. “Oh Milady, you shouldn't have!”

“I absolutely should have!”, she objected, “I will not have you force that nasty cheap gin down your throat! Nothing is too good for my friends!”

The black-haired lawyer chuckled and put the bottle into his bag.

Then the servants had their moment of joy, as the Lady handed out a present to each of them.

Jekyll was the next to give out his gifts.

Lady Summers beamed at the scientific protocols she held in her hands. “Thank you, Doctor! This will certainly aid me in my own scientific research! That is an interesting formula, I shall try it out on my blood samples as soon as possible! What a useful present!”

The giver blushed. “Thank you. I'm not sure if it works, but I didn't want to test it on someone else. It would have been too risky.”

She nodded in approval. “I'm glad you think this way. That's one of your redeeming qualities.”

Her secretary took the protocols and went off to her office to put them there.

Then Jekyll gave Lanyon a small package.

When the white-haired doctor opened it, he was surprised to find a brand new golden pince-nez.

“This one suits you much better”, the blond remarked, when Lanyon replaced his bronze-framed pince-nez with the golden one. It was slightly more comfortable and the glasses were stronger than those on the old one.

“Thank you”, he told his friend, “Now I can see better.”

“That's what I thought”, Jekyll commented drily, “Your old one isn't strong enough, I observed.”

The other smiled. He hadn't expected Jekyll to actually notice that.

Utterson received his gift next.

A pocket watch of silver, with a golden engraving on the inside.

“Thank you, Henry”, he said gently, “But may I ask, when you had the opportunity to acquire all the presents?”

 _That's a good question_ , Lanyon thought.

“On the first day the Lady allowed me to go out for a walk. Her coachman accompanied me to the bank and to the shops. He had to support me several times, when my legs gave away.”

The coachman, a freckled redhead, whom Lanyon knew to be Irish, shrugged.

“Eh, that 'appens, when ya walk that much after lyin' an' sittin' in bed fer weeks”, he remarked.

Jekyll chuckled: “I know. But I just had to. I needed to get out. I can't sit and lie around all the time.”

“Fair 'nuff”, the coachman agreed. “Neither can I.”

“Hey, I know you!”, Utterson suddenly cried and stood up. “Aren't you the coachman, who drove us here for free that night, when Mr. Hyde-?”

“Aye”, the Irishman confirmed. “Was the only place I knew where you'd get 'elp that late. And I can't just let people die. So that kid's name was Hyde?”

Utterson nodded. “Yes. Edward Hyde. Some twit shot him in the abdomen for no good reason.”

“Indeed”, Lady Summers muttered under her breath, so only Lanyon heard it.

“Thank you for helping us”, the lawyer spoke to the coachman. “If you hadn't let us ride along for free, he would have died.”

The redhead just waved it off. “Mah. Is natural to help someone on the brink o' death. A life's more important than money. B'sides, I get good cash from her Ladyship.”

Lanyon had been keeping a close eye on Jekyll during the conversation.

The blond had grown pale and sombre, but never said anything. Maybe he was considering to later talk to the coachman in private.

Lanyon was the next to hand out his presents.

The Lady received a new black Sunday hat, which she accepted gracefully and put on. It fit perfectly with her new raincoat.

Utterson got a blue velvet scarf, that he wrapped around his neck immediately.

Jekyll pulled a face, when he uncovered an awfully gaudy purple bow tie. “Really, Hastie? Really?!”

The other doctor burst into laughter. This was just the reaction he had hoped for!

“What's the matter?”, he giggled, “Don't you want some colour in your wardrobe? All of your clothes are brown, white, grey or black! Bring some life into that!”

Utterson smirked: “Come on. It's a Christmas present, you have to put it on.”

Lady Summers agreed: “Yes, Dr. Jekyll, come on! Don't make a fuss, lest you want to offend the giver!”

The blond threw them all an evil glare, then he put on the purple bow tie, that absolutely didn't correspond with his beige waistcoat.

“You will pay, Hastie Lanyon”, he threatened darkly, when everyone giggled, “I will get back at you for this prank, when _your_ birthday comes! Just you wait!”

“Totally worth it!”, the white-head snickered.

_Yes … that face is totally worth it._

When everyone had calmed down, Utterson noticed a few untouched packages that still lay under the Christmas tree.

“Who are those for?”, he asked.

“They're for Hyde”, Jekyll explained. “I didn't want him to get no presents at all. The small one is from Lanyon, the long one from Lady Summers. I couldn't decide what to give to him, but it wouldn't have worked anyway, because he always knows what I'm thinking. It's no fun, if the other already knows, what you want to give to them.”

Pensively, the lawyer looked at the pile under the tree. Then he revealed a medium-sized package and a small one of his own. “What a coincidence. I have two gifts for him too.”

Jekyll alone looked curious and Lanyon was quite sure, that Hyde himself was brimming with excitement in the blond's head.

“He can't wait to see what you all got him”, he said warmly.

“I can imagine”, Utterson chuckled.

 

The rest of the day went by in a blink and all too soon it was evening. All the while Jekyll was sticking to him like glue. Meaning he sat next to him the entire time and brushed his hand, as if by accident. After a while Utterson had just grabbed the larger hand and not let go. Jekyll had blushed like a winter rose and grinned like an idiot. Lady Summers had giggled at the sight. Lanyon had just rolled his eyes and muttered something the likes of “about bloody time”.

In the evening after Christmas dinner, Lanyon had been about to go home, when Jekyll had pulled him to the side. Utterson had given them some space, but heard hushed words being exchanged and a sob here and there, which had prompted him to check. Lanyon had been crying on Jekyll's shoulder, while the taller doctor cooed soothingly into his ear. The white-haired doctor had gone home, smiling like he had finally found his long-lost peace.

The three others waved after him, before Lady Summers returned to her work and Utterson and Jekyll went to Jekyll's sickroom to have time for themselves.

No sooner had the lawyer closed the door, that the doctor's arms wrapped themselves around him and the taller man rested his head on his shoulder.

 _So clingy … one more thing these two have in common_ , he caught himself thinking and grinned.

“Harry, as sweet as this is, I'm afraid you have to let go of me”, he told the other.

Jekyll let out a sound that sounded suspiciously like a whine, but let go.

They sat down on the bed and the black-haired man allowed the younger to lay his head on his shoulder again.

“You're so cuddly”, he laughed, “That's not just because it's Christmas, is it?”

“No”, Jekyll replied smiling. “I'm just being clingy, while I still can.”

“You're making it sound like one of us is leaving somewhere.”

“Hyde wants out.”

“Oh.”

The lawyer was caught by surprise, when Jekyll sat up and cupped his face in his hands.

“Gabriel”, the blond whispered. Utterson realised the other's intent and blushed.

But before their lips could touch, the black-haired man swiftly turned his head to the side and got kissed on the cheek instead.

“Forgive me, Henry”, he apologised sadly, when Jekyll blinked in confusion. “I'm not ready yet.”

“I see …”

The doctor was obviously trying his best to hide his disappointment, but didn't quite succeed.

The lawyer felt guilty. But he really wasn't ready to go even that far. He loved Henry, but how could he kiss him, if he couldn't even tell him that he loved him? It didn't feel right.

“Please be silent for a minute”, Jekyll suddenly said.

“Huh? Why?”

“I'm having an argument with myself. It's just as ridiculous as it sounds.”

Utterson bit back the laugh that was threatening to escape him. Of course he knew what Jekyll meant, but the idea of the doctor and Hyde having a petty domestic inside his head was too funny.

But the lawyer contained himself and silently waited until the doctor relaxed.

“What were you arguing about?”, he then asked curiously.

Jekyll groaned in annoyance: “That little beast guessed that you've never been kissed before and now he's cackling like a hyena.”

“And I assume he wants to steal my first kiss now?”

“Yep.”

Utterson scowled. “Let him know that I'm not above hitting someone on Christmas Eve, if they don't respect my personal space.”

“Noted. Just remember, he's a professional brawler.”

“I know someone else who used to be!”

“Shut up! _You_ always punched like a girl!”

Utterson ignored that jab at how he had always refused to seriously engage in brawls. “Just tell him not to flirt at me and if he honestly promises not to, he will get his Christmas presents.”

“He says you win.”

“Good. Now come here, you clingy fifty-year-old doctor.”

Said clingy fifty-year-old doctor giggled and returned his head to its spot on Utterson's shoulder. Then the lawyer ran his fingers through the blond hair and the other man purred.

“This is my happiest day in decades”, Jekyll cooed. “I love you so much.”

“I know, Henry. And I'm happy that you do.”

They sat like that for a while in comfortable silence. Then the doctor whispered: “I have to go. Hyde is getting impatient.”

Utterson nodded. “Good night, Henry. And merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Gabriel.”

That was the last thing he said, before closing his eyes and letting go.

The lawyer felt the blond hair beneath his fingers grow longer, darker and thicker and the doctor's frame shrunk considerably.

Utterson looked down on Edward Hyde's café brown mane, as the boy shifted and slowly became aware that he was in control.

“Mister Hyde”, he greeted gently.

Hyde looked up. “Mister Utterson!” He grinned. “How come that, every time Jekyll leaves the reins to me, I find myself in your arms?”

The lawyer shrugged. “I don't know, Mr. Hyde. Ask your other half. And don't even think about doing what you obviously want to do right now!”, he added, when he saw the roguish smirk on the younger man's face.

Hyde pouted childishly. “Hmph! Spoilsport.”

Utterson realised that he had to provide compensation and began to scratch Hyde's head. A long-stretched, pleased purr was the result.

_Does Henry know that his alter ego is secretly a cat?_

For a while the lawyer managed to keep the young man in trance through the scratching, but of course it couldn't last. After a while, Hyde looked up expectantly.

“Alright, I behaved. Now I would like to get the presents I was promised”, he demanded.

Utterson resisted the temptation to roll his eyes and handed him over the gifts he, Lanyon and Lady Summers had got for him.

Just as Hyde took them, there was a knock on the door and Lady Summers walked in – as she always did in moments like this one.

“Merry Christmas, Mr. Hyde!”, she cried cheerfully, “I just wanted to check, like the control freak I am and it seems my timing was perfect!”

“Your timing is always perfect”, Hyde noted drily. Then he added something unintelligible, that sounded like 'Merry Christmas to you too'.

Lady Summers fake blushed. “Oh you!”, she giggled, obviously flattered. “Now come, open your presents! Like every woman, I'm curious to see if you will like them!”

Hyde snorted. Then he tore the wrappings off the first present, till he held a dark blue umbrella in his hands. He frowned in confusion.

“Is that one from you?”, the brunette asked the Prussian Lady, who nodded.

“Thanks, but I already have an-”

“Oh, that's not a normal umbrella”, the Lady informed him, “The cover is made out of a bulletproof material a friend of mine invented. A mad scientist, just like Dr. Jekyll, only in a different field. It's tested, easy to clean and I can assure you, that it works perfectly.”

The young man stared at the innocuous-looking item in his hands, as if it was the holy grail.

The next present was Lanyon's. “Oh, a coat! Give Lanyon my thanks. I really needed one, the old one was beyond saving, after-”

Hyde broke off, realising that he had involuntarily brought up a subject, that he himself had been trying to forget.

He took a deep breath and turned to the bigger one of Utterson's gifts.

When  he unwrapped it, he laughed: “A diary?!”

The lawyer scratched his head awkwardly. “Uh no, more of a normal notebook. Alright, technically it's supposed to be a diary, but I already guessed that you wouldn't use it as such. So consider it a notebook with a lock.”

Hyde chuckled and put it into the lower counter of the night table. Utterson caught a glimpse of the ivory comb he had given the younger man a fortnight ago. It was still in one piece and neatly placed on his nightshirt, like a crown on a pillow. That warmed his heart.

Meanwhile the brunette was opening Utterson's second present. With wide eyes he regarded the content. A silver locket with a portrait of Utterson himself on one and a golden engraving on the other side:

_From: G. J. Utterson_

_To: E. Hyde_

After a while, the young man remembered to close his mouth.

He smiled wryly and commented: “Nice touch. My locket mirrors Jekyll's. A golden one with silver engraving for him, a silver one with golden letters for me. Well played, Mr. Utterson.”

His tone was dry, but there was no bitterness or envy. And the lawyer noticed there was a certain softness in the brunette's eyes. Without another word, he added the locket to his treasury and shut the drawer.

“Thank you. Both of you”, he said softly.

The lawyer and the Countess smiled warmly.

 

Shortly before midnight, Utterson had gone home and Hyde was now by himself. Well, himself and Jekyll.

He didn't know how to deal with all the feelings and thoughts that were running through him.

No one had ever given him presents before and actually put thought into what he might like. Sure, Jekyll had given him a name, clothes, flat and a bank account, but that had been out of necessity.

And now someone had given him something without him asking for it, just because they had wanted to, because they had thought that he might want or need it.

Hyde didn't know how to deal with so much genuine kindness.

Vehemently he blinked the wetness in his eyes away.

He wouldn't cry.

Not tonight.

Tonight he would feel at peace, just for a little while.

“ _Hyde.”_

Jekyll's voice was soft, almost timid. As if he feared that he was disturbing Hyde's temporary peace of mind.

But the brunette only smiled lopsidedly.

“Jekyll.”

“ _May I sit with you?”_

“Sure.”

In the dim light of the petrol lamb, Jekyll's shadowy form was faint and transparent, as it appeared and sat next to him.

“ _Are you happy?”_ , the doctor asked.

Hyde smiled a little bit. “I don't know. I suppose. Maybe your hype from earlier is rubbing off on me.”

“ _Maybe”_ , the older man chuckled.

“… Hey.”

“ _Hm?”_

Hyde stood and pecked the other's forehead. An uncharacteristically tender gesture from him, but it was Christmas and that was his perfect excuse.

“Merry Christmas, Henry”, he muttered and sat back down.

Jekyll smiled and intertwined their fingers.

“ _Merry Christmas, Edward.”_

They sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the night, holding hands and smiling, because just for a while everything was fine and they were at peace.

Hyde couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present from his doctor.

 

* * *

 

_(A/N: Yes, I know that this is mushy and all, but this is a Christmas chapter so screw you!_

_*Ich hasse diesen Kerl! - German for: I hate this guy!)_


	17. Dr. Jekyll returns home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jekyll finally leaves the recovery and his servants welcome him home.

On the 28th of December Lady Summers informed Jekyll that he was free to go home.

He was ecstatic. Sure, he had enjoyed his recovery in the Lady's eccentric, but lively household, but he had missed his home.

The Lady had sent her own butler to inform Poole that his master was coming home. Jekyll hoped that his house was in a half-way habitable state. Of course he had no doubt in the diligence of his servants, but he was a perfectionist. Besides, he had been away for quite a while and wondered, if they had still done their job as well without his authority. But his butler Poole was the highest authority among the servants and the doctor trusted him.

He knew that Hyde was even happier than he was. One month and a half of idleness had been a torture for his other half and now he could do what he likes again – when Jekyll let him out.

It was easier now.

Jekyll's will had grown so much stronger during the recovery.

Just like Hyde, he could now take over whenever he wanted. That was fortunate, because he was low on the special salt. But now that he was fully independent of the drug, that was no reason to worry. Lady Summers had discovered, that there was an impurity in the salt that made it work. This had happened, when he had asked her to get more of it, but the new supply hadn't done anything. They had both concluded, that the initial sample was impure. Lady Summers had offered to help him find out what the impurity was.

“Admit it”, he had responded lightly, “Psychology isn't your only field of expertise!”

The Prussian had just laughed and retorted, that she was just as much of a mad scientist as he was.

But Jekyll was envious. Was there anything the small woman didn't surpass him in?

The Countess must have read his mind, because she assured him that he was a better artist and mathematician than she was.

She had told him that, while she was good at finances, she failed in every other field of mathematics. “Maybe it's because finances are practical and something I do almost every day”, she had theorised. “Because I can't remember the others to save my life.”

He had snorted at that. But he had burst into full laughter, when the Lady had shown him her sad excuse of a drawing of a flower (seriously, he had done better when he had been six!). She had no artistic talent at all, even though she had received a high and broad education. But she evened that out with her musical and poetic talent.

“One can't be good at everything”, she had concluded. “I excel in the field I am good at and you excel in yours.”

Now he was standing at the Lady's door, a bag with Hyde's clothes and their Christmas gifts in one hand, the pot plant in the other, waiting for her coachman to pick him up and take him home. It was a rainy day, which didn't fit his mood at all.

“Are you happy to finally return home?”, she asked him.

He nodded eagerly. “Oh yes! Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time here, but still I really miss my own house.”

She laughed: “No need to excuse yourself, I would have felt the same. In the end, there is no place like home.”

He smiled warmly. “Thank you for everything, Milady.”

She smiled back. “You don't have to thank me, Doctor. I'm glad that I could be of help. And remember, my door will always be open to you.”

Jekyll felt something wet in his eyes and blinked it away. Then he felt a sudden urge and gave his benefactress a hug.

First she tensed up in surprise, but then he felt her relax and requite the hug with a quiet chuckle.

“Good thing the door wasn't open”, she commented lightly and he agreed.

Then there was a ring at the door and the Lady opened it to find her coachman waiting.

“Time to go 'ome, Doc!”, he announced cheerfully and took Jekyll's bag to load it in.

Jekyll kissed the Lady's hand, said goodbye and followed the Irishman to the hansom.

As they drove away, he caught a glimpse of her standing in her door waving after them.

_She may not be an angel, but she certainly is to her clients._

“ _True”_ , Hyde responded and there was no sarcasm in his voice.

Jekyll wondered briefly, if his servants would receive him accordingly.

 

Poole had prepared everything to perfection. The house was polished to a mirror shine, the servants were standing in the parlour to welcome their master home and waiting for the coach to arrive.

One of the maids was looking out of window, watching out for the doctor's cab.

And soon enough, a hansom arrived with a tall, blond man in a grey raincoat sitting on the passenger's seat.

“He's home, he's home!”, the woman cried excitedly.

“Into your place then!”, Poole ordered, “All in a row! We will give the Doctor a reception worthy of the Queen herself!”

They obeyed immediately, standing in a row like soldiers ready to salute their commander.

Poole nodded in satisfaction, before running to the door to greet the master of the house. Just as he opened it, Dr. Jekyll was running up the stairs, his travelling bag in one, a pot with earth in the other arm.

“Welcome home, Sir”, he said and held the door open.

The doctor thanked him with an amiable smile and set his luggage down, so Poole could help him out of his coat and shoes.

“Be careful with the pot plant!”, Dr. Jekyll cried, when the butler took his luggage.

“Of course, Sir”, the butler assured him. “The rest of the staff is waiting in the parlour.”

The Doctor's eyes sparkled with curiosity, as he followed the older man into the parlour.

Poole hurried to get in before him, set the luggage onto a table and stood in front of the rest of the staff.

Just as the master of the house entered the room, the staff cried in unison: “Welcome home, Dr. Jekyll!”

The Doctor stopped dead in his tracks. With wide eyes he looked at all the people who were here to welcome him home. Before he could say anything, Poole lead him to the table. A set with tea and cake was already waiting for him. Dr. Jekyll sat down, obviously overwhelmed.

Finally, his spirit seemed to return and he whispered: “All this for me …?”

“But of course, Doctor!”, Bradshaw spoke up, “You've been gone for one month and a half and now you're home! This must be celebrated!”

For a few seconds, Dr. Jekyll continued to gape at the tea and cake in front of him. Then he smiled, the kind of gentle smile that the servants hadn't seen in years.

“You didn't have to”, he told them warmly.

“Yes, we did!”, the cook objected, “As Bradshaw said, this is a welcome home party!”

The Doctor chuckled: “It feels like my birthday! Thank you so much, everybody. I couldn't have asked for a better reception.”

Poole was certain that the wetness in his master's eyes wasn't just his imagination.

“Yes … it's good to be home.”

 

Jekyll had never felt so close to his servants in the entire time he had employed them. With a simple gesture they had made him feel like he was good enough to deserve their respect. Of course he had expected a proper welcome, but this exceeded his expectations by far.

In the late evening, when Poole lit the way to the bedroom, he was tired, but content.

“I heard that you're the mastermind behind this?”, he asked his butler on the way.

Poole unsurprisingly confirmed it.

“You have truly outdone yourself. I can't remember the last time I was so pleasantly surprised”, Jekyll praised him.

The old butler turned to face him. He was beaming with well-deserved pride. “Thank you, Sir!”

The Doctor chuckled: “Please, it's a matter of fact.”

“I'm happy that you enjoyed it so much, Sir”, the butler replied, “And if you pardon my boldness, it's good to see a real smile on your face again. I haven't seen one in ages.”

Jekyll couldn't deny that Poole had a point.

“Your recovery at her Ladyship's house has really done you good.”

The blond smiled warmly. “Yes. It really has.”

_More than words could ever say._

Poole opened the door to the bedroom and lit a lamp inside, then wishing him a good night's sleep.

“Good night”, Jekyll returned, “I hope that all of you sleep well too.”

“Thank you. Oh, and Sir!”

“Yes?”

“Say hello to Mr. Hyde from me please, and welcome home.”

The Doctor felt Hyde stir within him, obviously surprised by the butler's words.

He had told him the truth about Hyde during his recovery at Lady Summers' house. Poole had taken it surprisingly well. Maybe he had been relieved that Jekyll and Hyde weren't in an inappropriate relationship (little did he know – of course he hadn't told him that). But the butler had promised to never tell anyone and Jekyll trusted him.

“I will”, the Doctor replied, “Go to sleep now. You've earned it.”

Poole bowed and left.

Now alone in his bedroom, Jekyll went to his bed and sat down.

“What a day!”, he sighed happily.

“ _Yeah, it really was!”_ , Hyde agreed, _“More fun than I expected!”_

“Hey, Edward.”

“ _Hm?”_

“I know that you're anxious to be out and about again.”

“ _I certainly am!”_ , Hyde agreed enthusiastically.

“But …” Jekyll hesitated. He was about to ruin his alter ego's mood. “… could you have one more night of patience? Just one? Tonight I just want to be here, relishing the feeling of sleeping in my own bed again.”

Hyde sighed theatrically. But he consented.

The Doctor smiled and slipped under the covers to nestle in the familiar warmth of his own bed.

“Thank you, Edward.”

“ _Hmph. Shut up and sleep.”_

 


	18. The end of the year pt. 01

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last days of 1885 are uneventful for our quintet.

Hyde arrived home in the early morning hours. As soon as the back door closed behind him, he stripped out of his coat, hat and boots and stretched himself.

“Ah, what a wonderful night!”, he sighed in enjoyment.

Jekyll snorted inside his head. _“You started a brawl in the bar, nobbled several men and bruised the poor toffer you were engaging with. Then you came back here as if nothing happened.”_

Hyde giggled: “Oh, that was fun! Did you see the faces of the other blokes in the bar, when I flung that one guy against a wall?”

“ _The one twice your size? Yes, I saw. And their faces, when you broke into evil laughter.”_

“Comedy gold!”

“ _For you, it certainly was. I just found it embarrassing.”_

“Come on, look at the bright side! The barman was so anxious to get rid of me that I didn’t even have to pay for the drinks!”

Jekyll chuckled in his head. _“Well, I’m afraid to ruin the rest of the night for you.”_

Hyde blinked. “How?”, he wanted to know.

“ _You’re grounded for a week, unless we go to our appointments with Lady Summers. Just until some grass has grown over the incident.”_

“You’re so mean to me!”, the brunette whined and pouted at the Doctor’s reflection.

“ _Now, don’t sulk. I bought you sweets. They should last you for a week”_ , Jekyll consoled him.

Hyde’s mood brightened immediately.

 

Jekyll had a light headache in the morning, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle (luckily Hyde hadn’t drunk too much the night before). It was nothing compared to the massive hangovers he usually woke up with. He could have kissed his alter ego for taking it easy on their first night out. He didn’t express that, even though he was pretty sure that Hyde knew it anyway.

He spent the morning with his servants, laughing and telling them amusing stories out of Lady Summers’ household (that is, as much as his contract with her allowed – one of the paragraphs had been about mutual discretion after all).

In the afternoon he went to his appointment with Lady Summers, under the guise of being invited over for tea.

 

“Ah, hello!”, the Prussian noblewoman greeted the doctor, when her butler lead him into the greenhouse. Utterson and Lanyon were here too.

“Hello, you three”, Jekyll replied cheerfully. “It’s a wonderful day, isn’t it?”

They nodded.

“Indeed it is”, Lady Summers agreed with a smile, “You’re in a good mood, I see.”

“Oh, certainly!”, Jekyll confirmed. “Hyde took it easy last night, so I woke up with a light headache instead of a full-grown hangover. For me that is a reason to be in a good mood!”

The others chuckled in amusement.

Lanyon smiled. “And I could sleep peacefully for the last few nights. Looks like I’ll be able to reopen my surgery next year.”

“And I don’t have to hide my feelings anymore”, Utterson laughed.

The blond felt his heart beat higher and grinned like an idiot.

 _Neither do I_ , he replied in his head.

“ _Please don’t get all lovey-dovey on me again!”_ , Hyde groaned. _“You were all mushy during Christmas tiding, now it’s time to tone it down.”_

 _Oh shut up_ , Jekyll retorted, _You can’t deny that you enjoyed the attention Gabriel gives to you!_

Hyde grumbled something that sounded like denial.

“How about you, Milady?”, Jekyll asked curiously.

She grinned: “Well, it’s the 30th December and I still haven’t received an invitation to the new year celebration in Buckingham Palace. That is a good reason for _me_ to be in a good mood.”

Jekyll laughed: “I’m surprised. Aren’t those celebrations mandatory for all courtiers?”

“Usually they would be”, the Countess confirmed, “But the royal family knows me and I know them. They know and respect my desire to celebrate Christmas and New Year at home in the circle of my servants.”

 _That’s very kind of them_ , Jekyll marvelled.

“It is”, Lady Summers agreed with a smile. “But like I said, Her Majesty and Their Highnesses know and like me. You would be surprised at how nice and normal people they are in private. They only invite me, when they want to spice up their parties a little bit. After all, there is nothing quite like chattering with someone who knows all the gossip and more and whether it’s true or not. Especially Queen Victoria loves a good laugh.”

The gentlemen trio burst into laughter.

They all could well imagine how that went. By now they all had discovered, that the tiny Lady was known for snide remarks towards the members of her class.

“You’re having questions, Dr. Jekyll”, she suddenly spoke up.

That wasn’t a question.

He nodded. “Don’t worry, Milady, it’s nothing too private”, he assured her.

“I know. Go on, fire away!”

“Why do you hold your sessions in your greenhouse?”, he wanted to know first.

“I discovered that the plants have a soothing influence on my clients. It’s prettier and healthier than those nasty arsenic wallpapers. As for those of my clients who are allergic to pollen, I receive them in my parlour.”

“So you don’t use wallpapers?”

“No. I hate the patterns, I hate the poisonous ingredients and I hate the attitude of the producers, that all the poisonous metals aren’t dangerous in wallpaper. They’re wrong. I know that, because I tested it on rats. People don’t understand, why I don’t plaster my house with colourful wallpapers, but at least the paint on the walls doesn’t make me sick. Besides, my furniture and décor beautify my interior just fine.”

Jekyll couldn’t argue with that.

Once again Lady Summers was wiser than the rest.

“One last question”, he said, “Why did you become a therapist?”

Suddenly she looked uncharacteristically unsure.

“I’m afraid that’s a question I have no satisfactory answer to”, she told him hesitantly.

Jekyll nodded, even though he was disappointed. By now he knew better than to pry.

“ _I have a question!”_ , Hyde suddenly piped up and Jekyll withheld a groan.

Lady Summers lifted an eyebrow. “What is it, Mr. Hyde?”

“I will never get used to how she can talk to both of them”, Lanyon muttered, but Jekyll ignored him.

“ _Your first name is Luise, right? What does the F. W. in your name stand for?”_

The Prussian grimaced. “It stands for Friederike Wilhelmine. I was named after my grandfather. I have more given names – eight in total – but I don’t want to give all of my names and abbreviating all of them would just look ridiculous on my brass sign. Even my maiden name was insanely long. Only my personal certificates contain my full name. I prefer to just be Lady Summers, or Luise to my family and close friends.”

With that, Hyde was satisfied, much to Jekyll’s relief.

And he wasn’t surprised. Lady Summers was an aristocrat. Having at least four given names was normal among the high nobility and it often said a lot about the family the name carrier was from. No wonder the Lady didn’t want to talk about it.

“And what about you? What are you three going to do tomorrow? Who will you celebrate New Year with?”, she inquired curiously.

The three gentlemen looked at each other and smiled.

“We’re going to celebrate together”, Lanyon informed her.

The Prussian nodded. “That’s wonderful.”

Then she turned to Jekyll: “Let’s talk about something else. I heard your servants threw you a big welcome home party?”

“Yes, Milady. And it was wonderful. I believe I shall take a page out of your book.”

She tilted her head curiously. “How so?”

“I think that I’m going to interact with my servants a little more.”

The blonde woman beamed at him. “Splendid! I love being a good influence! Having loyal and discreet servants is worth its weight in gold. Don’t forget that, Dr. Jekyll.”

 

Jekyll went home in as good a mood as he had come. He was certainly looking forward to New Year’s celebration.

 _How will this year’s end will be? Now that everything has changed_ , he wondered.

“ _I don’t know”_ , Hyde answered, _“But it’s going to be awesome, I can feel it!”_

The blond chuckled.

“ _Hey, Jekyll.”_

“Hm?”

“ _I know that I’m grounded and shit, but couldn’t you make a teeny-weeny exception for New Year?”_

“No, Hyde. If you want to see the fireworks, you can observe them in your ghost form.”

“ _But Jekyyyyyyll”_ , Hyde whined.

The older man snorted. “No. But I will go up to the roof balcony with you, I promise.”

“ _Do you think Utterson would come along?”_

Jekyll sighed: “I wish. But Gabriel is acrophobic, so we can forget about that.”

Hyde sighed in disappointment.

That made Jekyll smirk. “Could it be, that you’re growing fond of him?”, he teased.

Hyde sneered. _“Don’t be stupid. I’m not_ fond _of people. His company is just entertaining and – stop laughing!”_ , he snapped, when his creator began to snicker.

Jekyll couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so smug. But it certainly felt psychologically rewarding.

“Sure, Mr. Hyde. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Hyde glared harder and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a profanity.

The Doctor frowned and warned: “Edward Hyde, don’t give me reason to expand your house arrest to a month.”

Hyde’s reflection flushed with anger. _“I hate you so much right now.”_

Jekyll’s expression softened. “Hey now. Don’t be upset. I will let you out for a bit, when we’re on the roof. No one will get hurt and you will get to see the fireworks with your own eyes. How does that sound?”

His alter ego calmed down considerably.

 

Jekyll’s house was relatively empty on the 31st December. He had given most of his servants the day off to spend New Year with their families. Only Poole and those of his staff who had no family were still here today.

Lanyon and Utterson would come in the evening and until then, he would stay in his lab with Hyde.

“Hey there”, he said to the mirror as soon as he entered the lab.

His reflection morphed into Hyde.

“ _Why, good morning”_ , the brunette greeted sardonically. _“Have you been yearning for me, my dear soulmate?”_

“Don’t flatter yourself”, Jekyll scoffed, even though both knew he was lying.

He looked around the lab. It was messy. And since it was the last day of the old year, this was the perfect opportunity to tidy up. So he went to work.

After about ten minutes, Hyde complained: _“Goddammit, Jekyll! It’s so boring to watch you tidy up!”_

“Well, you can come out and help me”, the Doctor retorted.

“ _I’m not moving a single finger for you.”_

“Lazy bone”, Jekyll muttered and put the clean vials into their respective cabinets.

After half an hour he skimmed over his lab and nodded in satisfaction.

Everything was nice and clean.

_Why did I not do this sooner?_

“ _Because you were gone for over a month?”_ , Hyde supplied.

The blond sighed and sat on the cot in the corner. Then he gestured to the spot next to him.

“Come here and sit with me”, he requested and the brunette stepped out of the mirror.

Jekyll hadn’t seen him in such a corporeal form outside of his control in quite a while. He couldn’t help but relish in the sight.

Hyde started, when his other self put an arm around him and pushed him down onto his lap.

“ _Jekyll, what are you-?”_

But he relaxed right away, when the blond began to run his fingers through his hair.

Jekyll smiled fondly, when Hyde closed his eyes and began to purr and lean into his large hand.

_He can be so adorable …_

“ _You’re rather affectionate today”_ , the smaller man stated.

“I suppose I am”, Jekyll confirmed.

“ _Why is that so?”_ It sounded a tad suspicious.

The taller man raised an eyebrow. “Can I not be affectionate without reason?”

“ _Not towards me.”_

The Doctor sighed: “I can’t honestly answer that question without starting an argument. And that’s not what I want.”

“ _Is it not?”_ , Hyde queried.

“No. I don’t want to go into the new year with unsettled arguments.”

Hyde cracked a bilious green eye open. _“Now I’m all the more curious.”_

“Can you guess, what my resolution for next year is?”

The younger man smirked: _“What, to get into your lawyer’s inexpressibles*?”_

Jekyll chuckled: “That too, but it’s not what I mean.”

“ _Oh? What is it then? Don’t leave me hanging!”_

“I wish to earn your forgiveness.”

Hyde’s eyes flew open and he stared up to him incredulously. _“Is that supposed to be an apology?!”_

“No. Not yet, at least – I know that an apology won’t cut it. I want to make up for my treatment of you. However, I will not be taken advantage of”, the older man cleared up.

The latter was added, just in case. Hyde was highly intelligent and had no qualms with taking advantage of others, if he got the chance.

The young man’s eyes filled with suppressed anger and a hint of anguish.

_Gabriel was right … he furrows his eyebrows just the way I do._

“ _I can’t forgive you. Not like this.”_

“I know”, Jekyll replied sadly.

Of course it was too soon, just like the Lady had said.

But maybe someday …

Maybe someday things would be better.

Suddenly Hyde glowered up at him. _“Oi! Did I allow you to stop running your fingers through my hair?”_ , he snarled.

Jekyll chuckled: “Of course not. Do forgive me, my other half.”

And continued to stroke the long, café brown hair under his hand, silently envying the young man for having such beautiful, rich hair.

Hyde purred again, then slowly dozed off.

_He’s such a cat sometimes …_

 

* * *

 

_(*inexpressibles - a very prudish [very Victorian] term for pants. There was a period in the Victorian Era, when saying ‘pants’ or ‘trousers’ was an uncouth thing to say. I’m not sure, if that was still the case in the 1880s, but I thought it was hilarious._

_A/N: I wanted to add a sequence, where Lady Summers tells the gentlemen about Chinese traditions and demonstrates her Chinese skills. But then I realised, that it didn’t fit into the dialogue, so I deleted it)_


	19. The end of the year pt. 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gentleman trio (plus Hyde) celebrates New Year.

19\. The end of the year pt. 02

 

Lanyon hadn't expected Jekyll to be that happy, when he and Utterson arrived in the evening. But the blond was positively ecstatic to see them.

“Whoa there”, the white-haired doctor laughed, “You're acting as if you haven't seen us in years!”

Jekyll laughed back. “Lanyon, you're forgetting how long it's been since we last celebrated New Year together!”

Lanyon couldn't argue with that. It had been eleven years, after all.

 _And whose fault is that?_ , a petty voice in his head piped up.

He shook these thoughts away.

It was all in the past. He was beyond the pain and at peace now.

Jekyll's voice tore him out of his thoughts. “Hastie? Are you alright?”, he asked in concern.

The smaller man blinked in confusion. “Of course I am. Why are you asking?”

“You looked so glum.”

Lanyon hesitated.

“I'm just glad that everything is settled now”, he finally admitted.

Jekyll understood the message and nodded gently. Then he grabbed them both by the hand and pulled them along.

“Come upstairs with me! I don't want to spend the last hours of the year standing here!”, he cried cheerfully.

Lanyon caught his colleague flash a serene smile at Utterson and a wistful smile stretched his face.

_He used to smile at me that way …_

He shook those thoughts off too.

Both of them had someone new and there was no point in dwelling in old memories.

It was good this way.

Jekyll was happy with Utterson – even though they weren't truly together just yet. But they loved each other, even if Utterson refused to say it, for Hyde's sake.

He was happy with the Lady – even though they _could_ never _be_ together and he'd never be more than her doctor. But she loved him. That was all he needed to know. No words needed.

_Perhaps even Edward Hyde will learn to love. If he has a heart, Gabriel will win it, I'm sure._

 

Dinner passed away too quickly. It had been just like old times. And just like back then, Jekyll was the best host.

But it had been ages, since their dinner had been so free of tension.

Their laughter was free and genuine. They talked about things that they never could have brought up around others.

“ … and struck him with her cane, in front of everyone. Knocked out several of his upper front teeth, if I recall correctly. Then she acted like the poster child of innocence!”, Lanyon ended his tale of how Lady Summers had taken offence at someone else's comment about his hair.

The other two broke into laughter.

“That does indeed sound like something she would do”, Utterson chuckled.

Lady Summers was a paragon of composure, until someone insulted those she cared about. Hell hath no fury like her then.

“Your turn, Gabriel!”, Jekyll snickered and looked at him excitedly.

Utterson wasn't good at entertaining at all. Nothing noteworthy ever happened in his life. So he kept it short and told him about the pun he had made up, when he had decided to first look for Hyde.

Both doctors snorted.

“Oh my god!”, Jekyll giggled, “I see your puns haven't got any better, Gabriel.”

Utterson huffed: “Oh, shut up! My puns are just fine! Did Hyde hear that?”

Jekyll's grin widened, as he confirmed: “Yes. And he thinks this pun is so bad, that it's actually funny again.”

Lanyon couldn't hold his snickers back anymore.

The lawyer sulked. “As if Hyde's humour is any better!”, he grumbled.

Jekyll smiled. “Maybe not for you, but Lady Summers likes his sense of humour. Hyde has a pretty sharp wit, even when he's not laughing at things that involve him hurting people.”

“I know”, Utterson muttered, “They have that in common. I don't know how to deal with his dark humour or his sharp tongue sometimes.”

A remark of Lady Summers came to his mind: _“What doesn't kill you, gives you quirks and a disturbing sense of humour.”_

How well that statement fit both her and Hyde!

Jekyll chuckled and took his hand. “Oh, you'll get used to it, believe me. It took me too a while, till I wasn't shocked anymore.”

“And how long will it take me to get used to it?”, Utterson demanded to know. “It won't be as easy for me as it was for you. I don't have your gallows humour.”

“It'll be fine, Gabriel”, Jekyll assured him. “Right, Lanyon?”

The white-haired doctor laughed. “Oh yes. Once you get over the shock, Hyde's humour can actually be funny at times.”

Utterson shook his head: “Put the emphasis on 'at times'. I find his self-mockery disturbing rather than amusing.”

The other two looked at each other uncomfortably. The lawyer caught a flash of guilt in the blond's eyes.

“I guess it's at least partly my fault”, he admitted awkwardly.

Lanyon frowned. “Let's not talk about that so shortly before New Year. What time is it?”

Utterson checked his pocket watch – the one Jekyll had given him for Christmas. “It's quarter to midnight”, he informed them.

Suddenly Jekyll looked quite excited. “Only fifteen minutes! Let's go onto my balcony! The night is clear and I want to see some stars before the firework starts.”

The black-haired man gulped.

The balcony Jekyll meant was on the roof. It was a trend from Paris apparently and another pet fancy of his. The view onto the city was fantastic from there.

But there was a major problem: Utterson was frightened of heights. Just thinking about how far down it went from Jekyll's roof made his stomach feel queasy.

“Gabriel?”

He found his friends looking at him with worry.

“You don't have to come along, if the thought alone makes you feel uncomfortable”, Jekyll offered him gently. “We can stay here until midnight and I go to the roof alone. I promised Hyde to let him out anyway. It's no problem at all.”

He hid his disappointment well this time, the lawyer had to grant him that.

Still, that didn't stop him from feeling miserable. He wanted to watch the fireworks with him, he really did. Surely it was a beautiful sight and-

“Gabriel, don't”, Jekyll said earnestly and took his hand again. “I'll rather stay here or watch them alone, than have you panic, because of the hight. It's just not worth it. How can I enjoy New Year, if you suffer from crippling acrophobia?”

“Neither can I”, Lanyon spoke up. “Jekyll has to go for Hyde's sake, but if that wasn't so, then I can safely say that we're not going to watch them without you. The fireworks will last for at least an hour anyway.”

Utterson bit his lip. “You're making me so emotional lately”, he muttered.

Lanyon chuckled: “It's fine. Aren't we your best friends?”

Jekyll beamed at both of them and opened his arms. “Come here, you two.”

A group hug ensued.

 _Good thing we're alone here_ , the lawyer couldn't help but think.

“Thank you two”, Utterson murmured.

“Hey, I told you, it's nothing”, Jekyll replied and pat his shoulder.

Then the blond's glance fell onto the grandfather clock.

“It's almost midnight!”, he cried and uncorked a bottle of champagne.

“It's still a few minutes”, Lanyon reminded him, but the blond laughed merrily.

“Well, that doesn't mean I can't pour you your glasses yet, does it?”

They sat back down at the table.

“So”, Utterson spoke up casually, “Any resolutions for the new year?”

The doctors thought for a bit.

“To get my surgery running again”, said Lanyon.

“To sort things out with Hyde”, said Jekyll.

“And yours?”, they asked in unison.

Utterson considered. “Hmm … I have several.”

The blond doctor frowned: “Not fair! We told you ours, tell us yours!”

“I want to find the answers to my questions”, he finally replied vaguely.

They looked disappointed, but gave up. Both of them knew that he wouldn't get any more specific than that.

Then the clock interrupted their conversation, as the bell began to toll.

The three men grinned.

“Well, now it's 1886”, Lanyon stated.

“Here's a health to you, my friends”, Jekyll announced and raised his glass.

“To the new year”, Utterson replied, following him suit.

“To the good things it will bring us”, Lanyon finished.

They clinked their glasses.

“Cheers.”

 

“I didn't think you would actually stick to your promise”, Hyde remarked, when he opened his eyes to find himself in control. He curled up on the bench and looked upwards.

In his head, Jekyll replied: _“Well, by now I know better than to make empty promises to you.”_

Everything Hyde could have retorted was forgot, when a particularly spectacular firework illuminated the night sky.

With wide eyes, he regarded the colours.

“So beautiful!”, he marvelled.

“ _It really is”_ , Jekyll agreed.

Then a cold gust of wind blew at him. Hyde shuddered and nestled further into the way too big clothes of his creator.

“C-couldn't you have put a coat on?”, he hissed and pulled the shirt closer to his body.

Jekyll apologised awkwardly: _“Sorry, I forgot.”_

“Well, because you forgot, I'm freezing!”

“ _You could always go inside, you know.”_

“And miss this spectacle? No way in hell!”

“ _Well, suit yourself. Don't say I didn't give you that option”_ , Jekyll gave up.

The brunette huffed and would have stuck his tongue at the older, if he had been there in his shadowy form.

“Mr. Hyde.”

He jumped at the sudden address and whirled around.

Dr. Lanyon and Mr. Utterson were standing in the door.

“Good morning”, he greeted them nonchalantly, hiding how much they had startled him.

Then he smirked: “I'm surprised you're here, Mr. Utterson. Jekyll told me you're scared of heights.”

“That's why Lanyon is with me”, Utterson explained. “So it should be bearable as long as I stay here in the back.”

The young man giggled: “Your emotional support doctor, huh? Jekyll will be so jealous.”

Lanyon scoffed, while Utterson looked away in obvious embarrassment.

Then the lawyer composed himself and sat next to Hyde on the bench.

“I just wanted to wish you a happy new year”, he told him.

“Likewise.”

Inside his head, Jekyll huffed: _“He came up here for you, but not for me!”_

Hyde suppressed a grin. _Jealous?_ , he teased his creator.

“ _Yes! Yes, I am!”_

There was nothing like some petty satisfaction on New Year.

Of course Utterson knew nothing of that.

“Aren't you cold?”, he asked the smaller man.

The brunette shrugged. “Meh, it's fine.”

Then he gaped at the black-haired man, who proceeded to calmly take his jacket off and draped it around him.

“Better?”

Hyde was too surprised to answer. Then he pulled the jacket closer to his body and looked away.

The dark blue jacket still carried its owner's body warmth and gave off a faint scent of cheap cologne and withering leaves in autumn.

 _It smells like him_ , he thought and blushed lightly.

“ _Not fond of him at all, huh?”_ , Jekyll snorted in his head.

_Jekyll, you're on very thin ice here!_

Unfortunately Jekyll wasn't the only one who had noticed.

Lanyon smirked and teased: “What is this I see? Is Edward Hyde blushing?”

“No”, Hyde muttered, “That's just the cold wind.”

“Well, good to see some colour on your face”, the white-haired doctor noted.

“Your hair could use some colour too”, Hyde retorted, “Ever thought about dyeing it? It would make you look significantly younger.”

“ _Hyde!”_

But Lanyon didn't seem to take offense. “If I can find a dye that matches my actual hair colour, sure. In addition, it's Jekyll's fault that my hair greyed prematurely-”

Utterson cut them off: “Let's not argue.”

There was a barely audible tremor in his voice. That got the brunette's attention.

Right now the only light came from the fireworks in the sky. But it was enough for the young man to notice how pale the lawyer was. And his hands were quivering violently.

“You're not shivering from the cold, are you?”, he questioned.

Utterson shook his head. “No.”

Lanyon turned to them and sat onto the remaining free spot next to Utterson's other side.

“Gabriel, if it's too much-”

“No, I'm fine.”

Hyde frowned. “Stop lying. You're not fine.”

“But-”

“No. Go back inside.”

Utterson sighed. “Fine. I'll be waiting.”

He looked sad, when he returned into the house. That agitated the smaller man. Something about the lawyer being sad or upset just was … bothersome.

When it was just him and Lanyon, the latter cleared his throat: “Mr. Hyde, do you mind, if we talk for a bit?”

The younger looked at him suspiciously. “You won't care if I say no, will you?”

“No”, Lanyon said flatly.

“Whelp. Guess I have no other choice. What do you want?”

“We need to talk about Mr. Utterson.”

A sense of foreboding came over the younger. “What is it?”

“As you know, he is my best friend.”

Hyde raised a questioning eyebrow. “Oh? I was under the impression, that it's Jekyll. Considering you two used to be-”

“Don't” Lanyon's said icily. “I'm not remotely as calm and patient as Gabriel is. So I must warn you to choose your next words carefully.”

Hyde dug through their memory. His eyes widened at the glimpses he caught.

_Bloody hell, he's not bluffing!_

He gulped nervously. “Y-you're not going to point a gun at me, are you?”

Lanyon blinked. “How do you know that I have one on me?”

“You always do.”

The older man seemed satisfied. “So you really do share Jekyll's knowledge. Is he listening?”

“ _I'm listening”_ , Jekyll answered in his head.

“He is”, Hyde informed the other.

“Then I should be able to get my point across. And now to the matter at hand. Gabriel has no experience in love or – especially – in carnal acts.”

_Ohhh, a virgin!_

“ _Hyde, no!”_

_Hyde, yes!_

Lanyon continued darkly: “So I want you to know one thing, Edward Hyde-”

“Let me guess”, the smaller man interrupted him, “If I hurt him, you'll make me pay?”

“Exactly. You understand me then.”

“Perfectly.”

Lanyon smiled amiably. “Very well. I knew you have a clever head on your shoulders, Mr. Hyde.”

He stood up. “I'm going back inside. You should do the same, before you catch a cold. And-” He grinned, “-Give Utterson his jacket back. He's going to need it, when he goes home.”

Hyde gave the older man a death glare. “Get lost!”, he growled darkly.

Lanyon shrugged (completely unimpressed) and went inside.

“That old bastard”, Hyde grumbled and shuddered from the cold.

“ _He's right though”_ , Jekyll piped up, _“You should go back, Hyde You're shaking like a leaf.”_

“No way! These two twits distracted me from-”

“ _DO IT!!!”_ , Jekyll yelled suddenly, making his alter ego yelp in shock.

“Alright, alright, you killjoy! Damn, calm the hell down! No need to yell into my ears!”

“ _I'm not a killjoy! I just don't want to start the year with a cold!”_

The brunette huffed and pulled Utterson's jacket closed around himself. It didn't keep him as warm anymore.

With one last longing glance up to the night sky, he closed his eyes and allowed Jekyll to take back the reins.

 

Directly after his friends left, Jekyll decided to retire. It was almost three in the morning and he wasn't as enduring as he had been just fifteen years ago.

As soon as he had closed his bedroom door after himself, his shadow morphed into his alter ego.

“Edward”, he whispered gently.

“ _Henry”_ , Hyde returned less gently.

“Happy new year. Did you enjoy watching the spectacle in your shadow form, while I was talking to the other two?”

Hyde smiled mildly. _“Yes. You deserve a reward for allowing me that.”_

Jekyll blinked. “I do?”

“ _Come here, you old fool.”_

He chuckled, but bent down to the shadow's level.

What he didn't expect was for Hyde to cup his face and kiss him on the lips.

The blond felt his cheeks grow scarlet and shuddered at the chilly contact. It was as if he was being kissed by an ice block. He quickly recovered his spirit though and kissed back.

Sadly, after kissing each other passionately for about a minute, a little something called air got jealous and they broke apart.

“Edward!”, he gasped.

The look in Hyde's glowing green eyes was intense and filled with diabolic passion.

Then he smirked mischievously.

“ _Happy new year, you foolish old man!”_ , he snickered and vanished.

Jekyll blinked, still dazed from their steamy kiss and maybe – just maybe – a little aroused.

Damn, why did Hyde have to be such a skilled and talented kisser?

The doctor threw his head back and laughed.

_That little devil._

 


	20. Mr. Hyde hatches heinous plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde being Hyde.

“The treats are delicious!”, Jekyll cried in delight. “Absolutely divine! You must tell me who your baker is!”

Lady Summers giggled, her ice blue eyes gleaming with satisfaction. “I have none. Marie made them.”

The doctor gaped at her. “Your nurse? You're joking.”

“Not at all. This weekend it's her turn to cook, so she baked little raspberry tarts. They're my favourite. Don't you know that the Austrians are renowned for their bakery?”

He shook his head and suddenly felt a bit uneducated.

She smirked sardonically and sipped her hot chocolate. “That's one of the few things they do right.”

Jekyll almost choked on his tea.

 _I always forget that she's Prussian_ , he thought.

The noblewoman held her hand to her forehead and sighed melodramatically: “Well, no matter how hard I try to be British, I suppose they will never take the Prussian out of me! What a tragic fate! What pain! How will I _ever_ be able to fit in and be accepted-”

“Oh my god, please stop!”, Jekyll giggled, “I won't be able to stay a gentleman, if you keep being so dramatic!”

Her grin turned mischievous. “Oh, but Doctor, that _is_ the plan!”, she revealed with a wink. “To loosen you up for a while to give you a break from your act!”

The taller blond smiled. “It's certainly easier to be a gentleman, now that you're my therapist.”

The small Prussian smiled back. “It feels good to get your worries off your chest, doesn't it?”

“Most certainly”, Jekyll agreed.

“How is Mr. Hyde?”

“Eh, you know. Being his usual troublesome self.”

“ _Hey! I heard that!”_ , Hyde protested.

Lady Summers chuckled: “I see, you still act like an old married couple.”

The doctor shrugged. “Well, I'm a bachelor, so I don't know what a married couple acts like.”

“It has its ups and downs”, she replied. “Sometimes I wonder how my marriage with James would have been, if he was still alive-”

Her mouth snapped shut. Then she facepalmed. “By Apollo, I have done it again!”

“It's fine”, Jekyll hurried to assure her. “You're a widow, it would be stranger if you didn't get sentimental from time to time.”

“Yes … I suppose you're right.”

“I had a very eventful New Year's celebration”, he changed the topic to lighten her mood.

It worked.

She read his mind and giggled: “Oh, you two sure had! Are you still bitter that Mr. Utterson refused to kiss you both on Christmas and on New Year?”

Jekyll pouted. “What ever gave you that idea?”, he muttered.

There was no point in flat out denying it. He _was_ bitter about it.

If Gabriel hadn't resolved to not do anything, before he loved both him and Hyde, the lawyer would have kissed him. Of that he was convinced.

“ _Why am I always your fucking scapegoat?!”_ , Hyde barked in outrage.

“Please don't start a cat fight in front of me”, Lady Summers intervened. “It makes me feel awkward.”

“I'm sorry”, Jekyll apologised. “It's just that I'm so extremely frustrated.”

“Doctor”, the Lady said and took his hand, “It's not just because of his promise, that he doesn't want to take it even so far with you yet. He has literally no experience with this. Do you have the faintest idea how long he has been pining for you? Pining is all he's familiar with. It's just so sudden for him, that your relationship has changed that much in so little time.”

His eyes widened. That had never crossed his mind. But it already had been over a month! Was that really not long enough for the lawyer?

“It's not enough”, she answered. “You're forgetting that he's much more apprehensive towards emotional matters than you are. It's not his field and he has yet to figure things out between the two of you – and of course with Mr. Hyde.”

“That doesn't make it any better”, Jekyll muttered. “He says and does things with Hyde he never did with me.”

“You're jealous.”

“Yes.”

“Doctor, he didn't expect to find Hyde, when he had the courage to come out onto your balcony, despite his acrophobia. He did it for _you_. It was just convenient for him and Lanyon, because this way he got to wish a happy new year to both of you.”

“But …”

“You're not turning this into a competition, are you?” Her previously friendly tone turned cold. “You're not going to compete for who will have Mr. Utterson's firsts?”

Jekyll felt a shudder run down his spine. “I … I have no such intention, really! I don't see him as a prize.”

Her face relaxed just a little. “Good. That answer just saved you. I was _this_ close to-”

“Hitting me like that one time I falsely accused you of being a snob?”, he guessed.

She shrugged. “Kind of. I was going to kick you where the sun doesn't shine.”

“ _THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!”_ , both he and Hyde responded mentally.

He wanted to keep his nether regions intact, thank you very much.

She leaned back into her rocking chair. “Remember this, should you two ever get competitive”, she advised.

Then she took on a butter wouldn't melt kind of smile. “Do you want the last raspberry tart? Or another cup of tea?”

 

When Hyde left the house that night, he was exhilarated.

So Utterson was completely untouched and innocent in that regard? Ohhhh, this would be so fun! Normally Hyde didn't like to bang virgins. They needed tenderness and carefulness, something he hated. He wanted his partners to be tough.

But _maybe_ he would make an exception for _this_ one!

“ _HYDE, NO!!!”_ , Jekyll screamed in his head. _“Have you forgotten-”_

“Aw, but the Lady and Lanyon aren't here, are they? Besides, thinking is not forbidden!”

“ _I will not let you hurt him!”_

“Oh, who said that I'll hurt _him_? The only person I'll hurt is _you_!”

“ _Don't speak too soon, Hyde.”_ Jekyll's voice was a growl.

The brunette cackled: “I wonder how you would handle it, if I get his first kiss – or even his first time! – and not you! Oh, this is going to be so fun! I can hardly wait!”

Jekyll's anger was so intense, that Hyde could feel it pulsate through his veins and endanger his control over the body.

“ _Edward Hyde, if you force yourself on him, I will destroy us both, before either Lanyon or even Lady Summers-”_

The young man giggled: “Calm down, Jekyll! _I_ won't force _anything_ upon him. That would be cheating now, wouldn't it?”

His grin became broader, revealing his abnormally sharp canines.

_Yes … it'll be so much sweeter, if your beloved lawyer wants me to be his first …_

 


	21. On rivalry and the art of courting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde being Hyde again, Jekyll being Jekyll, Lady Summers being just done with their crap and a whole lot of sexual tension.

Jekyll hated this.

Hyde was clearly planning to seduce the man _he_ loved and the blond did not like that at all.

He hated himself for being so possessive of the black-haired lawyer, when the latter wasn't even willing to take the step from friend to lover just yet.

“ _Oh come on, Jekyll”_ , Hyde taunted him, _“In a way, he would still be doing it with you, even if he chose me! And vice versa!”_

Jekyll gritted his teeth.

“Maybe. But you can't tell me that you wouldn't be jealous, if he would choose me instead of you to be his first.”

Hyde cackled: _“Oh, Jekyll! Even if I had grown possessive of him at that point, I wouldn't be jealous. That would require that he was mine at some point! What I would feel in that case is envy. But look at you! If anyone is jealous, it's you! You see him as yours, but he doesn't even return your proclamations of love! The closest thing he comes to doing so, is saying 'I know'!”_

The doctor's face darkened further. “Don't speak about love, as if you know what it is.”

His alter ego appeared on the next reflective surface.

“ _You're wrong, my dear soulmate. Just because I never loved, doesn't mean I don't know what it is. I'm a part of you, of course I'm familiar with the emotions that you feel.”_

The blond whirled around to glare at him. “Prove it!”, he barked.

The brunette raised an eyebrow. _“You sure you want me to give you a disgustingly sentimental explanation on that ridiculous sentiment?”_ , he scoffed.

“Yes, actually. Show me that you know what that words means!”, Jekyll challenged.

Hyde rolled his eyes and began. _“It's when you put another person's needs and wishes above your own, think about them all the time and feel, as if they were the only thing that mattered in the world. You happy?”_

Jekyll glowered at him. “That was just the general definition of love as everyone sees it. You obviously have no idea what you just said! It's plain by the derogative manner you said it in.”

Hyde raised his hands in defeat. _“Well, maybe you're right. For once. But that doesn't matter, because I have no intention of ever finding out, what that revolting sentiment feels like.”_

Now it was Jekyll's turn to be smug.

“Oh, but you _are_ on the best way to find out!”, he taunted back.

Hyde's smirk vanished. _“What do you mean?”_

“You're already growing attached to him. His kind gestures towards you make you flustered. You're determined to make him yours. There is only one reason anyone would act like that.”

Hyde's face twisted into a ghastly grimace. _“You're a fool, Jekyll. He is nothing but a toy to me. A toy I can play with, break it and throw it away, when I grow tired of it. He means nothing more to me than all the prostitutes I dab it up with.”_

Jekyll's eyes grew equally hard. “Sure, Mr. Hyde. What ever helps you sleep at night. But soon enough you will find that I'm right.”

Hyde said nothing. He just stepped out of the mirror and took on a corporeal form.

Before Jekyll could ask what it was about, the smaller man grabbed him by the shoulder, slammed him against the nearest wall and kissed him savagely. The doctor growled and kissed back.

What followed was … a fierce battle for dominance, rather than a make-out session. There was biting, clawing, groping and yanking each other's hair.

“I hate you, Edward Hyde!”, Jekyll snarled, as soon as they had regained their breath.

Hyde laughed savagely:  _“I hate you too, Henry Jekyll.”_

Then he stretched his arms.

“ _I hate you thiiis much!”_

 

The next time Lady Summers was consulted by Dr. Jekyll, she saw at first sight, what the matter was.

 _Ich wusste es!_ , she thought angrily, _Ich wusste, sie würden einen Wettstreit daraus machen!*_

Even though she had learned to think in English, sometimes she slipped back into German, if she was angry enough.

He grew pale and gulped, when he saw her face. Good. So he knew that she knew.

“I thought I said something about turning this into a competition”, she hissed.

“It wasn't my intention!”, he immediately tried to defend himself.

“Excuses, excuses!”, she cried in outrage, “You made up your mind as soon as Hyde suggested it! It's always like this. You men are all the same! Once you set your eyes on someone, that person must be yours at all costs! Why is it so hard to find a man, who isn't greedy and possessive?!”

She pinched her nose in frustration and leaned back in her rocking chair.

“Agh! Well, I can't say that I'm surprised. Mr. Hyde is a vicious person and both of you have a … gay disposition. Sit down, Doctor. And then tell me, why you are here. If I read your mind, I fear that I'll get angrier than I already am.”

Dr. Jekyll looked genuinely ashamed.

Good.

That put her short Prussian temper a little at ease.

“Milady”, he said quietly, “I really don't see him as a trophy, you have to believe me-”

“I do”, she interrupted him calmly, “I know that you don't. And that is your saving grace, because I hate nothing more than people who regard others as objects to be owned. Mr. Utterson is not a thing, he's a living, breathing person.”

Of course she was aware, that he knew it, but she still felt the need to point it out.

She pointed a gloved finger at him. “That's directed towards both of you.”

“I don't think Hyde has been listening”, Jekyll said awkwardly.

“Well, then I'll just say it to his face next time I see him”, she retorted.

 _And if he talks any rubbish about Utterson just being a toy to him, I'll punch him,_ she added in her mind.

Dr. Jekyll spoke up: “I'm here, because I'm concerned. Hyde has been … more aggressive than usual. More forward too.”

“Towards you, I presume?”

“Yes.”

Now she was calm enough to read his mind. _Oh dear … that_ is _pretty pushy_ , she thought at the pictures.

“You seem to be handling it comparatively well, though”, she stated.

He sighed. “Yes and I owe that to you. Before you became my therapist, I was so weak. He overpowered me so easily, I feared that one day Henry Jekyll would disappear completely. I was depressed and had no strength of will. You gave it back to me and I will forever thank you for that.”

She frowned. “That sounds like you want to break off the therapy.”

“No, no!”, he cried, “I just wanted to thank you for saving my life in more ways than one. I guess I could say that you're my guardian angel, because you stepped into my life right when I needed you.”

She stared at him incredulously. Then she blushed lightly and broke into giggles.

_Guardian angel? More like a fallen angel, but who cares!_

“Oh, you cheeky devil!”, she giggled, “For someone who prefers men, you certainly know how to flatter a lady!”

He laughed awkwardly, then he sighed and continued: “Anyway, as I was saying earlier, Hyde is more aggressive and forward than usual. Now that I have my strength of will back, I can meet him on an equal level, but it still worries me.

He always loved to taunt me and make me angry, but lately he's been more infuriating that usual. He enrages me to the point, where I just want to strangle him. But there is something wrong about the way he taunts me. There is something wrong with _him_. I need to know what his problem is. Is it my fault? Because I don't stop confronting him about his own emotions and behaviour?”

That was a good question.

She read his mind and thought for a moment.

“Hmm … I would say yes and no. It is only partly, because you keep confronting him about his emotions. The main problem is that he _has_ these emotions. He knows that you're right and that scares him. Mr. Hyde is used to being indifferent to everyone and everything but his own self and desires. But now that there is someone who treats him differently from everyone else, he feels things that are completely foreign to him.

Of course it's too early to say that he's falling in love. But he is feeling something new, something very profound. He's experiencing emotional attachment. And he's frightened of how intense and overwhelming it is.

Perhaps it has crossed your mind at some point. But deep down, everyone's scared of letting someone close and give them the power to hurt them. I'm no exception. But most people have the courage to risk it, in the hope of finding love and happiness. Mr. Hyde is not one of those people, at least not yet. Just like you said to him, he doesn't truly know what love is. All he knows is the heartache that _you_ feel, when you love someone, the hopeless pining, yearning and daydreaming. He's scared of going through that.

Love requires a special kind of courage. A kind of courage that Mr. Hyde neither has nor knows.

His relationship to Mr. Utterson is already more emotionally intimate than everything he has ever known. Of course he is closer to you than to anyone else, but you're his creator and his other half.”

“And for him that doesn't count”, the Doctor guessed.

“Exactly”, the Countess confirmed. “He just thinks that it's supposed to be this way. That he can't help but be attracted to you, because you are two parts of one soul.”

 _That makes sense_ , she could hear him think.

“But with Mr. Utterson it's different. Mr. Hyde doesn't realise that your friend is trying to love him for his own sake as well as yours. And even if he did, he wouldn't understand it. To him, your lawyer is the man you're pining after. He sees love as nothing but a weakness, a disgusting sentiment. The fact that he refuses to change his opinion, is a defensive mechanism. He doesn't want to become what you used to be, when it came to Mr. Utterson or Dr. Lanyon.”

“A pining, perpetually depressed and emotional mess”, Dr. Jekyll noted drily.

She chuckled. “Yes. You must know that, despite his self-mockery, Mr. Hyde does have a modicum of pride. He fears that love will not only make him weak, but confine him as well. Committing to a single person other than himself? Pining, sighing and daydreaming like a lovesick schoolboy? No way!”

Dr. Jekyll grimaced. “You just summed up his entire nature.”

“I know. But I had to explain his attitude to you somehow, because he's not going to do it.”

“Fair point. So he's acting the way he does, because he suddenly has … profound emotions. And because I remind him of it, he feels cornered and is scared.”

“Pretty much, yes.”

“Do you think I should stop doing it?”

That too was a good question. Continuing would keep the young man on edge. But from the way Hyde was acting, she found that Jekyll's call-outs were needed to keep him in check. Hyde's mind games were getting out of hand. His other half's retorts might agitate him, but they also showed that the young man couldn't taunt Jekyll without the older man returning the favour. The doctor had grown a spine and was now more than ready to stilt his alter ego when necessary.

“Quite the contrary, Dr. Jekyll. Continue. He needs someone to counter his mind games. Be careful, though. After all, you're playing with fire.”

 

The next time Jekyll came to the Lady, he felt a little lighter than last time.

Hyde was still being a pest, but now that he knew what the problem was, Jekyll had more patience with his alter ego.

That seemed to have an effect on the brunette as well. To the blond's surprise, he had agreed to a few terms, concerning Utterson.

Neither would pressure him into doing something he didn't fully want.

The lawyer's personal space was not to be invaded.

Flirting would be done in moderation and with subtlety.

Of course for Hyde, 'subtle' meant that he would keep it at the level of making suggestive remarks. Obviously suggestive remarks.

But it was a start.

“I see, you have set up some rules”, she noted, when he entered her greenhouse. “Well, I'm still not happy about the whole ordeal. But that puts me a little at ease.”

“Yes”, he mumbled awkwardly. Her anger from the last meeting had been terrifying and she hadn't even raised her voice to the level of shouting.

“I just wanted to make sure that neither of us pushes something on Gabriel. But …”

“But what, Doctor? Choose your next words wisely.”

“I do wish to court him. And I was hoping, that you could give me some advice.”

He had needed days of consideration to bring up the courage to ask that question. After all, he did have a sense of pride. But she knew the human mind so well. And she was a Lady of the highest class. Surely she would know a thing or two about the art of discreet courting.

But to his surprise, her expression turned awkward.

“Doctor, I'm a conversational therapist and consultant. Not a dating advisor. And to be honest, I'm no authority when it comes to that. It's been half a lifetime, since I last romanced someone. And no, I'm not actively courting Dr. Lanyon”, she added, when he opened his mouth to ask.

For a second he wanted to ask her, if she was really sure about that. But she gave him _that_ look and so he kept his mouth shut.

“However, I understand where this is coming from. So I will try my best. Well, you know what he likes, so one important criteria is off the list. The most important part of courting these days is discretion. Sadly, because of our society with its ridiculous morals and expectations, you can't tell the world how much you love him. I wrote several letters to the parliament, telling them how much of a mistake they made by criminalising same sex love. Of course I didn't receive an answer. Not that I expected one, but hope dies hard.”

Jekyll's heart warmed. He certainly loved how open-minded, understanding and unbiased the Lady was. Of course it could be attributed to the fact, that she was a telepath, who had seen the world. But even so, it was so rare that someone didn't judge you, just because you had other preferences than the masses.

She giggled: “Oh, you would be surprised at how many people are unconsciously homosexual or know, but suppress it. To be honest, I never understood what the big deal is. Love is love, that's how it works. It never even occurred to be, that there should be something unnatural about people not preferring the opposite sex.”

“Never?”, he echoed in surprise.

She smiled and shook her head. “Never. My parents were non-judgemental people themselves and they never told me that other people would think this way or why. I was quite shocked, when I found out. When I asked my father, he shrugged and said that most people are hypocritical philistines.”

She smiled fondly. “That's how he was. He drilled me to be perfect in everything I do, but he also kept reminding me that everyone has their flaws and that I should never think of them inferior.”

Jekyll almost laughed. Then something came to his mind.

“Did your father … uhm, have unusual abilities too?”, he asked hesitantly.

For a second, she seemed to consider if she should answer that question or not. But then she seemed to decide she should and nodded. “Yes. He could tell, when someone lied or told the truth. I inherited my affinity for the supernatural from him.”

“And your mother?”

“She had no supernatural abilities. But she _did_ have endless tolerance, patience and empathy. She was one of the few angels among humankind.”

Jekyll tried and failed to suppress his envy. His parents had never cared about anyone or anything but their name and reputation. If he didn't live up to their expectations (which had been almost always the case) he could be sure to regret it.

“That's terrible”, Lady Summers answered his thoughts sadly. “It's so depressing, that most people don't know how much children need their love and appreciation. Of course my father was strict and had high expectations of me too, but he valued me and my mother above anything in the world. Screw his good name, what mattered to him is that we were fine.”

“I wish my parents had been half that caring”, the Doctor said bitterly.

She took his hand and said gently: “Now, now, Doctor. We can't change the past. All we can do is fix the damage that has been done. That's what my father always said. In fact, he was the one who inspired me to become a therapist.”

“Really?”, he asked curiously.

“Yes. When my husband died, father said: 'Don't waste time on tears, Luise. Instead work on making his dream of a better world come true. Maybe you won't succeed in making the world a better place, but that shouldn't stop you from _trying_. You have such a wonderful understanding of people. Use it to help them.' And that's what I did.”

Jekyll smiled. What a man her father must have been …

Suddenly the Lady clapped her hands in a businesslike manner. “But enough of these reflections! You wanted advice on discreet courting. Don't ever forget to remind him that you love him. Never ever forget a meeting. Take him out to places he likes from time to time. And give him subtle messages. Are you by any chance familiar with floriography?”

The doctor shook his head hesitantly. “I know that it's the language of flowers, but I have no idea what it entails. I'm too much a man of science.”

“It's actually simple. Every flower has a meaning or several. You use that to convey messages. It's a tradition from the Middle East and has been a popular trend ever since it was introduced to Europe. Most ladies carry bouquets around and the gentlemen who are interested in them, mostly carry pocket books on them that contain the meanings of each flower.”

“So, if I gave flowers to Gabriel, everyone would know what the flowers mean?”

“Most people would. Therefore I wouldn't recommend handing bouquets of flowers to him, where everyone can see it. Give him secretly one flower each day. He knows the meanings. But be careful. Some flowers and plants carry negative messages. But you know what, Doctor? I have a book on flower language in my office. Do you want to borrow it?”

Jekyll nodded. “That would be wonderful”, he said gratefully.

“Good. I think we can end this session. I will just get the book, before you go. Oh, and Dr. Jekyll? _Please_ , do something about all the sexual tension between you and Mr. Hyde. Your relationship is so bipolar and dysfunctional, that it's getting painful to deal with.”

Jekyll blushed and sputtered, while Lady Summers grinned smugly.

He returned home still flustered from her remark, but with a dictionary about flowers in his bag. Good thing he had brought a bag to begin with.

 

“ _What are you reading?”_ , Hyde asked curiously, when he appeared to find Jekyll reading the book he had borrowed earlier.

The blond didn't answer, but allowed the brunette to look over his shoulder.

Hyde's bilious green eyes skimmed over the page and he giggled.

“ _What is this? A book about the meaning of flowers?”_

The corner of Jekyll's mouth turned upward. “Yes, actually. Her Ladyship lent it to me.”

With that, he continued reading and said no more.

Hyde remained in his spot, leaning over and obviously reading along.

From time to time the comfortable silence was broken, when one of them pointed out a flower whose meaning they particularly liked.

“Oh my god, the yellow carnations!”

“ _Hah! Look at that part about the narcissus! That flower is just perfect for you!”_

“Look who's talking! And the orange lilies! I'm so going to leave those out for you!”

“ _And I'm so going to shower you in geraniums, because you're a fool!”_

But apart from those little banters, they read together in silence.

At some point Hyde leaned his chin onto Jekyll's shoulder. His long, café brown hair tickled the blond's neck.

“ _I really don't understand how you can wear that stupid stiff collar”_ , the smaller man muttered.

The taller one shrugged. “It's just a part of a gentleman's attire.”

“ _Well, I hate it. Also, you're at home. Take it off.”_

Jekyll could see, where Hyde was coming from. The collar was quite uncomfortable and rubbed against his skin. If he moved his head the wrong way, it could even hinder the blood circulation in his neck.

“Fine”, he chuckled and took it off.

 _Ahhh, much better_ , he thought, as he rubbed the irritated skin on his neck.

Then he tensed up in surprise and shuddered, as he felt the other's lips and tongue glide across his sensitive skin.

_Whoa there, Edward!_

“Are you planning to seduce me, or do you just want to leave a mark?”, he grumbled.

Hyde snickered. _“Don't worry, just the latter.”_

Jekyll cried out in shock, when Hyde nibbled at his neck with his sharp canines.

“ _Just a friendly reminder, Henry dearest: you're mine and even your lawyer agrees to go out with either of us, it will remain this way”_ , he purred.

The blond growled lowly.

_Oh, two can play that game!_

With a swift movement, he grabbed the smaller man by the small of his waist and pulled him into his lap. Hyde gasped in surprise and had to cling to the taller man to not fall off.

“Well, I can only return that statement, my dear creation”, he snarled. “I made you. That makes you just as much mine as it makes me yours.”

The brunette blinked. Then he caught on and smirked salaciously.

Jekyll requited the smirk. “Could it be that you lied earlier, when you said you didn't want to seduce me? Because I find it hard to believe you right now.”

“ _Ohhh, maybe?”_ , Hyde breathed lowly into his ear. _“Alright, I lied. I absolutely planned to have my way with you.”_

“You wicked tempter.”

Hyde chuckled gutturally. _“You're easy to tempt. Look at you, Doctor. Where is the gentleman everybody knows? You're just a sexually frustrated old man in his midlife crisis.”_

“And you're a short-tempered little goblin, who doesn't leave me alone”, Jekyll retorted.

Hyde mock-gasped and clutched his chest. _“A goblin?! That's just rude, I must say, Doctor! Besides …”_

Jekyll shuddered, when the smaller man caressed the sensitive skin on his neck with his sharp fingernails.

“… _You're just too willing to indulge me. And do you know what? It has become so much more fun lately!”_

“Has it?”

“ _Ohhh yes! There is fire in your eyes … resolve in your voice. I love it, when you get feisty and finally give into your dark desires, you dirty old man! You have no idea just how much it turns me on!”_

Jekyll snorted. “Actually, I think I do.”

The bulge in Hyde's pants said it all.

“You know, perhaps I should deny us both, just to spite you.”

Hyde smirked smugly. _“You won't.”_

“You're right. I won't”, the blond admitted.

Feeling bold, he let his hands wonder down the smaller man's legs. They were comparatively long, sinewy, swift and strong. Enviable.

“Do you know what turns me on about you?”, he purred.

To his satisfaction, Hyde shuddered at the touch.

_Oh, sweet, sweet revenge!_

The brunette smiled, obviously flattered. _“No, but do enlighten me.”_

“Your guttural voice, especially, when you purr …”

Hyde chuckled throatily.

“Your strong limbs …”

“ _Why, thank you!”_

Jekyll clasped Hyde's middle and pressed their bodies together. “How perfectly you fit against me …”

“ _Oh good grief, stop!”_ , the other laughed.

The doctor smirked. “That roguish glow in your devilish green eyes …”

“ _Alright, alright, enough!”_ , Hyde cried and held a finger to his mouth. _“What the hell was that, Henry! Warn me next time you're going to be so grotesquely saccharine!”_

Even as a spectre, he couldn't hide (pun intended) the intense blush on his face.

For some reason that made the blond feel incredibly empowered.

“It's a shame you can't keep that corporeal form for long. There are so many things I want to do to you right now!”

The brunette grinned lopsidedly. _“What, strangle me or snap my neck?”_

Jekyll laughed. “Sometimes you make me wish that, yes. But no. I wouldn't do that, no matter how angry you make me. After all, I couldn't live without you.”

Hyde blushed even harder and lowered his head, mumbling something unintelligible under his breath.

But it didn't need to be coherent. Jekyll knew what he had said.

“But most of the time, I'm grateful, that we're not completely separated.”

“ _How come?”_ , the younger wanted to know and looked up.

The Doctor smiled. “I will never be alone. There is something comforting about that. You will always be with me …”

… _Right?_

Hyde's eyes softened and he touched the older man's cheek. _“Of course I will, Dr. Jekyll. Even in death.”_

Suddenly he grinned. _“Now shut up and satisfy me, you dirty old man! If we keep being this corny, I will throw up!”_

Jekyll chuckled. “Of course, you horny brat. But it's late and I'm tired.”

“ _See you in your dreams, then”_ , Hyde purred.

Then he gasped: _“Oh! I almost forgot!”_

Jekyll yelped in surprise, when the smaller man sank his teeth deep into his neck.

“ _I did promise to leave a mark!”_ , he cackled and vanished back into their head.

“ _Sweet dreams, Doctor!”_

“You'll certainly take care of that!”, the older man muttered and went to disinfect the hickey.

There was no doubt that he would have passionate dreams tonight.

_God, what a brat! So many mood swings this evening! Maybe the Lady is right … I really need to do something about the sexual and emotional tension between me and Hyde._

 

* * *

 

_*German for: I knew it! I knew they would turn this into a competition!_

 


	22. Dr. Lanyon is quite concerned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lanyon is disproportionally worried about his friends. Lady Summers calms him down.

Of course Utterson figured out that there was a competition going on between Jekyll and Hyde.

Of course it upset him a little.

But he knew better than to be surprised. After all he knew Jekyll and began to know Hyde.

However, he had been livid, when he found out Lanyon had leaked through to them, that he was still a virgin.

“YOU TOLD THEM WHAT?!”

“Look, Utterson, I'm sorry-”

“Why did you have to tell them! Now they'll compete over who gets to be my first!”

“Well, how else should I have made clear to them, that they should be careful with you and are not to expect much flirting on your part, huh?! I told them that too, by the way!”, Lanyon cried in frustration.

“I'm not a young lady and I'm definitely not made of glass!”, the lawyer snapped angrily, “I don't need to be treated with kid gloves!”

“You don't know what you're getting yourself into!”, Lanyon snapped back, “Do you have the faintest idea just how difficult Henry alone is as a lover? He often says does hurtful things without even realising it! Yes, he will adore you and give the sun and the moon to you, hell, he will die for you! But he will also expect a lot from you! He doesn't even realise how pushy he can be! And don't even get me started on Hyde! You act professionally and calmly, but we both know that you're more tender than I, when it comes to romance! You're my best friend, Gabriel! I could never forgive myself, if I allowed either of them to hurt you!”

Utterson took a deep breath to calm himself down. “Lanyon”, he said calmly, “I appreciate your concern, I really do. But I can take care of myself. And you're forgetting that I have known him for forty years. I know that I can't expect either of them to be faithful. I know that I have to expect a lot of pain. Don't think that I don't know how much he hurt you. I don't expect myself to be any different from you as a partner.”

Lanyon sighed sadly: “Gabriel … I just want you to be happy. You deserve better than having to go through what I did.”

“Hey now”, Utterson replied softly, “Wasn't that the case for you too?”

The white-haired doctor said nothing in return. He just hugged the black-haired lawyer tightly.

“Just take care, alright?”

“I will, Hastie. But please stop crying. I hate to see you hurt too.”

 

Lanyon knew that he should calm down.

He knew that perhaps he was disproportionally concerned.

He knew that it looked like he was jealous.

But he couldn't help it! Not when it was about his ex-lover and his wicked alter ego!

Lanyon knew that Jekyll loved Utterson, wanted him and would do anything to please him and make him happy, even if it came at his own cost.

But Hyde … the white-haired doctor could bet his whole fortune that Hyde wouldn't stop at anything to get what he wanted. He was quite sure that the small brunette had violated a lot of people before (and yes, he counted prostitutes too) and there was no guarantee, that he wouldn't do the same to Utterson.

The lawyer wasn't naïve by any means, but Hyde was obviously highly intelligent and manipulative.

How adept was he at talking people into doing things they actually didn't want?

How big of an impression had his and the Lady's threats had on the young man?

How much control did Jekyll have over his other half?

If Hyde developed feelings for the lawyer, how would they manifest?

Would it be real love or just an unhealthy, twisted obsession?

 

“I'm scared for them”, he told Lady Summers, when he came the next time to examine her.

She had been spitting blood again lately and he needed to check how bad it was.

The Lady looked at him over her shoulder and said: “I know. I'm concerned too. But we mustn't lose our heads over it. It's better, if we step back and allow things to develop. Only then we will be able to answer all the questions that worry us so. Besides-”

She stood up and turned around. “-We need to have faith in your friends. Mr. Utterson is a strong man and Dr. Jekyll has grown a lot stronger as well.”

“You're right”, the doctor sighed, “But … it's just …”

“Hey”, she said gently and placed her hands on his shoulders, “It will be fine, Dr. Lanyon. I know it will be. Promise me not to be scared and to trust them. Can you do that?”

This promise was hard to make. But she was right. He had to trust in his friends.

He smiled weakly. “For you I can do anything, Milady. I promise.”

_Anything for you, my radiant angel._

She smiled back and warmly thanked him, before sitting back down.

“Let's get the examination over with. You know that I'm not comfortable with sitting here only in my corset and undergarments.”

 


	23. The mourning Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady Summers leaves London to attend her husband's death anniversary. Lanyon goes with her to stand by her in her grief and be introduced to her in-laws.

“I'm afraid I will be gone for a month”, Lady Summers informed the gentlemen during the next therapy session.

Jekyll lowered his teacup. “May I ask why?”, he asked worriedly.

“My husband's death anniversary is in two weeks. I need to travel to Cornwall to visit his grave and my father-in-law and check on my property. Hence, I'm taking a holiday. Dr. Lanyon will be coming with me.”

“Indeed”, Lanyon confirmed.

“I wish you a good journey, Milady”, Mr. Utterson said gently.

“So do I”, Jekyll agreed.

“Thank you”, she responded, “I'll leave tomorrow. My bags are packed and my butler, lady-in-waiting, nurse and coachman will be accompanying me as well.” A sigh. “One should believe that after twenty-two years, I have some closure. But it seems to be my lot to never get it.”

“I'm sorry”, Jekyll told her sadly.

When he went home together with Utterson, he was deep in thought.

There was something wrong about the Lady being unhappy.

She, who helped so many find happiness, appeared to be doomed to never have it herself.

And that wasn't fair at all. If anyone deserved happiness, it was her.

Instead she was mourning forever, a second Queen Victoria.

“It's good that Lanyon goes with her”, he told Utterson, “For more reasons than one.”

“I know. She will need his emotional support. The worst thing about this is, that it wasn't his fragile condition that cost him his life, but a coach accident. He was only twenty-three years old, when he passed, and their marriage had only lasted for three years. Needless to say, Her Ladyship didn't take it well.”

“That's awful!”, Jekyll cried.

Utterson nodded sadly. “Yes. The young man was a good friend of mine. An exceptionally kind lad he was and she adored him.”

He chuckled bitterly: “I remember, when he introduced his new wife to me. She was six years older and her English was very poor back then. But everything about her demeanour spoke of how much she loved him. I must admit, I envied them. Such a wonderful couple they were.”

Jekyll sighed sadly.

Yet, at the same time he couldn't help but wish that one day, he and Utterson would be an equally wonderful couple – but hopefully one that lasted longer.

 

Lanyon was glad that the Lady had decided to take him along, because he had serious issues with her making the long, strenuous journey to Cornwall. The journey took several days by train (first class, of course – no one wanted to sit in the overcrowded third class with its wooden benches!) and was tiring, although not as much as by carriage.

Lady Summers was strong-willed and fit, but still had a vulnerable constitution. If she went on that straining journey alone and something happened to her-

“Doctor, you really need to stop panicking”, she spoke up and placed a hand on his own.

“I can't help it”, he muttered, “You know that I always worry about your health.”

“I know you do. That's why you're my doctor”, she replied, “But remember, I've been on several world journeys in my life and they were all very straining. A few days by train across England are nothing to me.”

Lanyon sighed and looked out of the window.

At least the landscape was nice …

Suddenly a choir of annoyed groans startled them both.

“Something the matter, you four?”, Lady Summers asked her servants.

The Indian, the Japanese, the Austrian and the Irishman glared in response.

“Just confess your undying love for each other already!”, they cried in frustration.

The Lady and the doctor gawked at the audacity.

 

They were all exhausted, when they finally reached the manor in Cornwall. There had been incidents during the journey, which had caused the train to arrive with a delay of three hours. Leaving the doctor and the servant group to deal with a rather displeased German-born Countess.

But her mood brightened at once, when their coach stopped in front of the house.

Several members of the staff were there to greet them and to take their luggage to their rooms. Lanyon felt uncomfortable at the way they looked him up and down, as if he was an intruder.

“Ignore them”, Lady Summers muttered, “They look this way at every newcomer. Serving a Lord can make servants a bit haughty sometimes.”

“True”, the Austrian nurse confirmed, “I think they're just envious of us, because the Lady likes us better than them-”

“Thank you, Marie”, Lady Summers cut her off.

Then they were approached by an elderly servant, who looked cheerful and far more amiable.

“Good to see you again, Milady”, he said with a Cornish accent.

Lanyon wondered, if Lord Summers let him get away with speaking that dialect.

“It's good to be here again. The air is so fresh and clean here in Cornwall”, she replied with a smile. “And I'm glad to see you're as likeable as ever, Trelawny.”

“So are you, if I may be so bold. And I bet that gent behind you is your personal doctor?”, he added, looking at Lanyon.

“Oh yes”, the Lady replied hurriedly, “Trelawny, meet Dr. Hastie Lanyon, my personal physician. Dr. Lanyon, this is Nick Trelawny, Lord Summers' butler.”

“Charmed!”, the butler cried cheerfully.

“Likewise”, Lanyon replied politely.

Then he informed them, that his Lordship was already waiting for them. So the Countess and the doctor followed him, while her servants scattered away to their own respective quarters of the house.

While they went through the long hallways, the conversation continued.

“How is his Lordship?”, the Lady inquired.

“A bit moody, his knee has been bothering him lately. And he just recovered from the sniffles.”

 _Well, he's not the only one_ , Lanyon thought drily, thinking of his own complaints. Oh, how he hated growing old!

The butler's chatting distracted him. “And how was your journey? Judging by your delay, not so smooth?”

“No – which is unforgivable in my opinion!”, she grumbled sourly. “Delays, really!”

The Cornishman chuckled. “Yes, unforgivable indeed”, he remarked.

Lanyon felt something nag at his core.

Jealousy.

But then Lady Summers' mental voice tittered in his head: _“Doctor! You're not jealous of an old butler, are you?”_

He just about managed not to blush. He hadn't felt jealousy in over twenty years! So why the hell did he have to feel so possessive right here, right now, right of _her_?!

“ _Doctor, you're thinking this, as if you had no right to feel this way for me”_ , she noted amused.

“We're here”, Trelawny said and stopped in front of a big door.

He knocked and a hushed voice responded: “Enter!”

The butler entered first. There was a verbal exchange, before he came outside again and let them know that the Lord was ready to receive them.

Lanyon felt his heart race and his stomach twisted uncomfortably. And why was he suddenly feeling so hot? After all, the Lady had briefed him on how to behave towards the Count of Cornwall.

“ _Calm down”_ , Lady Summers told him, _“My father-in-law is not a bitter old tyrant, who insults everyone he meets. You have nothing to fear.”_

He took a deep breath, before going with her.

The room was big, warm and cosy enough.

And in a big armchair next to the fireplace sat Lord Summers. He looked a bit like Sir Danvers Carew, a friendly-looking, elderly gentleman of noble demeanour, with grey hair and eyes of a bright colour (which one was hard to tell in the dim light).

He smiled gently, when he saw them enter.

“Milord”, Lady Summers greeted him and made an elegant curtsy. Lanyon followed suit with an elegant bow.

The Lord chuckled: “Really, Luise, twenty-five years and you're still so formal. Do come here. Your young friend too.”

Lanyon's mouth twitched involuntarily.

“Young friend”?! With his fifty-one years and white hair?

They approached the elderly Count, who motioned for them to sit in the other two armchairs.

“It's so good to see you here again, my dear”, he spoke to Lady Summers, “I haven't seen you in half a year and it's a lot less lonely with you here, child.”

_Child?! Alright, I know that he's a lot older, but she's fifty!_

She replied to her father-in-law: “Oh, I would love to come here more often, but as you know, I have a busy time plan.”

“Indeed. I know that you're there for your clients day and night …”

_She really is._

“… but, in all due respect of your duty, I think that you should take a vacation more often. You're always so overworked.”

_Finally someone who agrees with me!_

She giggled adorably: “My dear father-in-law, you care too much about this eccentric, little German-born Lady.”

The older man laughed as well: “Well, after all this 'eccentric, little German-born Lady' is my dear daughter-in-law. But enough of that. Won't you introduce your friend to me?”

The blonde nodded eagerly. “Sir, this is my personal doctor, Dr. Hastie Lanyon. A sophisticated, good and sensible gentleman, whose advice I should follow more often.”

 _Damn right you should_ , he thought drily, knowing full well that she could hear it.

“It's my pleasure”, the Lord said kindly, “Luise often writes about you in her letters to me. She never ceases to shower you with praise.”

Lanyon blushed bright scarlet. He knew that Lady Summers was open with her opinion of other people, but that she talked to her father-in-law about him in her letters …

“As she must have told you”, the Lord continued, “I'm Lord William Summers, father of her late husband James and Count of Cornwall by the grace of his Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales. I asked Luise to bring you with her, because I'm curious about the man she speaks so highly of.”

The doctor hadn't thought it possible to blush even harder, but here he was.

“I'm honoured”, he mumbled awkwardly.

“Sorry?”, the elderly man inquired, “Speak a bit louder please, my ears aren't what they used to be.”

“I'm honoured, Milord!”, Lanyon repeated a bit louder.

He wanted to kick himself for mumbling in front of an aristocrat. Where the hell were his manners?

“And I'm very glad that I made that request”, the other man continued, before turning back to his daughter-in-law: “You look very pale. I was quite concerned, when I heard that the train would be delayed.”

“Oh, you shouldn't have”, the Lady assured him, “It was just a technical incident. Frustrating, but nothing dangerous.”

Lord Summers didn't seem to buy it. “I would like to hear your account, Doctor.”

“She got sick during the last stage”, Lanyon told him, “The technical incident involved a fault in the brakes. There were several sudden stops in the middle of the landscape, which put not only her health at risk. Unacceptable, if you ask me.”

“Indeed”, his Lordship agreed, “Although to their defence, it was a lot worse in my time. I witnessed the very first railways being built and taken into service. A lot of improvements have been made since.”

“That's true”, Lanyon had to admit. “But I can't bear to see Her Ladyship damaged and in pain, just because an incompetent technician couldn't fix the brakes on a train correctly. God knows what could have happened, if-”

No. He couldn't finish that sentence. The thought made him too upset. If he finished, he wouldn't be able to keep his countenance.

“Dr. Lanyon, calm down”, the Lady spoke up gently, “It's fine. Everything is fine-”

“Well, I do _not_ think it's fine”, the Lord cut her off, “And it puts me at ease that neither does he.”

He stood up with effort. “But it's late. I'm not as fit as I used to be and you two are obviously tired from the journey. Goodnight, children.”

The doctor and the Lady requited the wish and allowed the butler to lead them to their assigned quarters. They wished each other goodnight, before retiring.

As soon as he was alone in the guest bedroom, Lanyon thought about the introduction. The Count of Cornwall had seemed approachable and amiable enough. He seemed to genuinely care about her and that put him at ease. There was nothing patronising in the way the elderly man interacted with him and his daughter-in-law.

Except for one thing.

Somewhere in his heart, the doctor felt an angry sting.

 _Children_?!

 

Breakfast next morning was uneventful.

The master of the house had them seated beside him at the table, but there wasn't much talk.

Lady Summers was a little drained. She had been unwell during the night and her cursed body had only settled down shortly before dawn. Dr. Lanyon had been with her the entire night, until she had finally been able to sleep. As a result, he himself was extremely tired.

That made her feel immensely guilty.

Sometimes she hated how the white-haired doctor dropped everything, just to make sure that she was fine.

Why was he even still her doctor after over a decade? Why did he feel for her the way he did? Why was this reason enough for him to put up with a difficult patient like her? Sure, she was a great help to him, but she was an equally great burden.

Dr. Lanyon should have spent the night recovering from the journey of his own. Instead he had spent it tending to her, until she had finally felt better. And he hadn't slept much during the journey either. The doctor was a light sleeper, woke up easily.

“Luise, are you alright?”, Lord Summers asked in concern.

Lady Summers shook her head. “No, dear Sir, I'm not.”

Lanyon looked up immediately. “Are you unwell again? Perhaps you should go back to bed and-”

“Not that kind of unwell”, she interrupted him. “I'm just upset, because neither of us two got the rest we needed.”

“That's not your fault”, he replied gently.

“Yes, it is”, she muttered.

“It's not your fault”, Lanyon repeated, “You can't help it-”

“Yes, it is!”, she retorted angrily, “If it wasn't for my pesky condition-”

“Then you wouldn't be you”, her father-in-law cut them off. “Don't get into a full on fight at the breakfast table. Luise, I have something to discuss with you later. As for you, Dr. Lanyon, you're free to explore my property. I'm sure you'll like it here, this is a lovely place.”

Lanyon looked a bit sad, but nodded obediently.

They proceeded to eat in silence, before the Lady and the Lord retreated to discuss the matter in private.

“I see, you haven't grown any less farouche towards the people you care about”, the Lord scolded her as soon as they were one-on-one.

“Well, what else am I supposed to do?”, she huffed, “Let all the world know that one of the most renowned and high-ranked widows in the Empire is closer to her doctor than is appropriate?! Believe it or not, I _do_ care about my reputation!”

“That's not what I mean”, the Lord sighed, “What I mean is, that you shouldn't be so gruff to him. If you keep showing your care in such a harsh manner, he will lose patience with you, sooner or later.”

“To be honest, I have no clue why he is still there to begin with. I mean, I do, but I have no idea, what he possibly sees in a freak like me-”

“Stop right there, young lady!”, the Lord cut her off harshly.

“First off: you're not a freak. You're – to quote my dear son – a miracle. Secondly, how long have you known each other?”

She thought for a moment. “Almost thirteen years.”

He smiled. “Congratulations, then. That young man is a keeper.”

At that statement Lady Luise F. W. Summers, Countess of Cornwall and Calenberg, Marchioness of Brandenburg, consulting telepath, certified therapist and sophisticated world-traveller, could only blush and sputter.

But as soon as she gathered herself, she couldn't help but make a retort.

“Sir, he's almost fifty-two years old.”

“As if that matters!”, the Count laughed, “He's still a lot younger than me!”

 

Lanyon had found the library of the house and made himself comfortable on a table with a few books on the history of herbal medicine.

After far too little time, the librarian approached him together with the Lord's butler. Latter cleared his throat (startling the hoary doctor), before informing him that his Lordship had asked to see him in his study.

When they got there, the butler left to attend to his duties and Lanyon was left alone. There he stood for a full five minutes, hesitant to knock. Dammit, why couldn't he knock?! Why was he so nervous! It wasn't like he was going to his own execution! It was just Lady Summers' father-in-law, a gentleman who he would rarely have to deal with in the foreseeable future!

He sighed. Perhaps Jekyll had been right all along. He really lacked courage.

Finally he shook himself.

_Pull yourself together, you fool! He's waiting in there, so grow a spine and knock, goddammit!_

And now he finally knocked on the door.

“Enter!”

With a deep breath, he entered the Lord's study.

The elderly gent was sitting in his armchair with a book in his lap and looked up, when the younger came in. “You took your time”, he remarked.

“My apologies”, Lanyon answered awkwardly, “I didn't tell anyone where I was, so your butler needed a while to find me.”

“It's forgiven”, the Lord pardoned him good-humouredly. “Take a seat.”

The doctor obeyed and sat in the armchair opposite.

After a moment of silence, Lord Summers finally spoke: “I called you here, because I want to talk to you about my daughter-in-law.”

Lanyon's heart clenched. Was the other about to tell him to stay away from her, as she outclassed him by far?

“No need to panic. I just want to get a better impression of the man she holds in such high esteem.”

He knew what the nobleman was really saying.

“Tell me about yourself, Doctor”, the elder requested. “How did you two meet?”

Lanyon cleared his throat. “She approached me, because she was looking for a doctor. And for some reason she decided immediately, that she wanted it to be me.”

Lord Summers laughed: “Yes, that sounds a lot like her. Go on.”

“Of course I couldn't refuse the offer of counting such a distinguished Lady among my patients.”

“I would hope so, because that would have made you quite the fool. I assume she pays you well?”

“Of course. Quite handsomely, if I may say so.”

“Do you know what she is?”

Lanyon couldn't help but chuckle: “Of course I do. I found out, when I made a house call and saw the brass sign at her door. Frankly, I consider myself a grounded man. So I assumed it was a jest.”

“And knowing her, she shocked you by demonstrating her abilities?”

“Yes. And shock me it did. I was inconvenienced for a week. But she paid me a visit and apologised for bewildering me so.”

The Lord leaned back in his armchair. “Well, Luise is quite the show-off, but you can't say that she doesn't take responsibility for what she does. So, if she's your patient, did she offer a mutual work relationship?”

The implication was obvious.

“… Yes”, Lanyon admitted shamefully.

He hated admitting to an almost complete stranger, that he had psychological issues.

“Hey now” the Lord said gently and forced the doctor to look at him. “That's nothing to be ashamed of. You would be surprised at all the distinguished names she counts among her clients. In fact – but don't tell anyone, because I'm not supposed to tell you this …”

The aged Lord bent forward and fake-whispered conspiratorially: “… But even the Queen herself consults her sometimes. Although it's mostly a family visit – which I'm not supposed to tell you either, I hope Luise will forgive me. Tea and cake from widow to widow, if you will.”

_Maybe I should ask him not to continue further into this direction …_

“But back to the matter at hand …”

_Never mind! Please go further into that direction!_

“Are you aware of the way she sees you?”

The doctor blushed bright scarlet.

Lord Summers chuckled at that. “I'll take that as a yes.”

“Milord, I didn't mean to-”

“Hush. How does that make you feel? Oh, and please remember that I don't hear very well.”

Lanyon blushed even harder. “I … I honestly don't know what she sees in me, Milord. Her Ladyship is way out of my league and there … there is nothing interesting about me-”

“I beg to differ”, the Lord contradicted.

The younger man blinked: “You do?”

“Absolutely”, the older replied. “I don't know you well and I'm obviously not a medium like Luise, but I have a good instinct, when it comes to people. And I must say, my impression of you is a good one so far.”

“Really?”, Lanyon cried in delight.

Lord Summers smiled and nodded. “Indeed. In fact, dare I say, I'm convinced that you're exactly the man my dear daughter-in-law needs. A man who takes care of her and lets her take care of him. The kind of man a person might not always want as a friend, but definitely needs. You strike me as a very sensible, loyal and dutiful man. A man I can trust her with. And – I hope you forgive – I'm pleasantly surprised, that you bear no resemblance to my late son.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Of course it wasn't hard to gather from her letters how she feels for you. You must know that Luise doesn't cope well with loss at all. And she never gave a physical description of you. Thus I feared, that she would bring a replica of James.”

_Oh … I can tell where this is going._

“But as that is obviously not the case, I'm rather relieved. She obviously estimates you for who _you,_ not as a replacement for her husband. Although a few traits about you probably remind her of him.”

He stood up and asked the younger man to follow. They just went to the next room and there the Lord showed him a lifelike portrait.

“This is my dear son, James Summers.”

Lanyon beheld the picture and felt a pang of envy.

The portrait showed a tall youth with copper curls, bright blue eyes, the sweetest smile and a noble demeanour. And even in the painting, the young man's eyes were filled of laughter and a gentle glow.

“A very handsome young man.”

“He really was”, Lord Summers said proudly, “My spitting image!”

It was surprisingly easy to imagine the aged Count of Cornwall looking like the man in the portrait. He was still upright and of fine stature and he had the same bright blue eyes and curls (even though they were grey now).

“My hair used to be the same colour though”, Lanyon had the older man know. “Before it turned white. So maybe that reminded her of him.”

“Your eyes are unique, though”, the Lord pointed out.

The doctor sighed: “I'm not proud of that.”

Lord Summers tilted his head. “But why not?”

“They're _freaky_ – pardon my language, Milord.”

“That's nonsense!”, the Lord cried, “You don't really believe that, do you?!”

“You see, if you hear that every day-”

“You start to believe it yourself, I know, I know!”, the older man huffed, “But it's ridiculous. There is nothing freaky about having eyes of different colours. Isn't there a medical term for that?”

“Heterochromia Iridum”, Lanyon supplied.

“Yes, yes. That was it, thank you. Anyway, don't listen to them. It's a rare and special trait and it makes you unique. But I know how you feel. You see, I wasn't always a Lord – or even a Count.”

The younger looked at him in surprise. “You were not, Milord?”

The older shook his head. “No. In fact, if we go by birth rank, both Luise and her father outranked me by far. I was only a small baron of little wealth, until the Prince of Wales rewarded my service to him. And whenever I attended court, everyone let me feel it. I can't stand those aristocrats. They feel entitled to look down on everyone and treat them like dirt for no other reason than that they're of lower rank. So of course I was very apprehensive, when the Margrave of Brandenburg approached me and suggested a marriage between his daughter and my youngest son.”

His eyes warmed again. “But Luise and her father Alexander – despite their illustre name and ancestry and immense wealth – were nothing like them. I've never met two nobles who were so grounded and open-minded. Not exactly a common trait, especially among Prussians. We became friends quickly. Luise Summers is the most remarkable woman I know and I'm proud to call her my daughter-in-law.”

Lanyon smiled. “And _I'm_ proud to be her doctor.”

“I know you are. And that she's proud of it too.”

Lord Summers turned back to the portrait of his son. “And James was proud to be her husband. You should have seen him at their wedding. A nineteen-year-old boy utterly in love and with a smile that made the sun envious. It's not fair that this lasted for only three years.”

He sighed sadly. “He left us far too soon.”

Lanyon hated seeing that kind old man so sad.

“I'm so sorry”, he told him, “No parent wants to live to see their children die before they do.”

“No”, Lord Summers agreed. “But I have my older sons to comfort me. Luise has no children.”

That was true and it made Lanyon so bitter. So many parents didn't deserve their children (he knew that first hand). So why were those who did not granted any? Or worse, lived to see them die before them?

“Life isn't fair, Doctor”, the Lord muttered, “Which is one more reason for me to ask a favour of you.”

He turned back to Lanyon and said solemnly. “Promise me that you will always be there for her, for better and for worse.”

Lanyon promised.

It wouldn't have been necessary.

He would be there for his Lady as long as he lived.

 

The 18th January came and the Summers invited Dr. Lanyon to come with them to visit the grave.

Lady Summers' brothers-in-law attended as well. They were far more formal towards Lanyon, but that didn't matter. She didn't care for their opinion, nor did they have to approve of her doctor.

It was a sombre ceremony.

Everyone stood around the huge gravestone of Lady Summers' husband.

_Sir James Fitzwilliam Summers_

_Viscount of Cornwall_

_11 th November 1841 - 18th January 1865_

_Son of Count William Summers of Cornwall_

_Brother of Travis, Edward and Albert Summers_

_Husband of Luise F. W. Summers_

_Greatly beloved, never forgotten_

Like on a funeral, they stood in line with each one stepping forward to hold a small, emotional speech. But _to_ the deceased, not _about_ him.

The three brothers usually said the same thing every year. This one was no exception.

And all the other years, the Lord hadn't done it any differently.

But this year he added something to his usual speech: “One last thing, my dear son: please allow your dear wife to finally move on. Forgive her that she finally has someone who can give her what she has been missing all those years. She has a worthy friend to share her grief. They have my approval, so I ask you to give yours. Luise more than deserves to be happy and he deserves _her_. I know you won't be jealous. After all, you always wanted to see her happy more than anything.”

With that, he finished his speech and turned to his sons.

“Let's go back inside. Luise wants to talk to your brother one-on-one.”

They all say goodbye to Sir James Summers, as if they were talking to him and not to a stone.

“Goodbye, Jamie!”

“Keep it up, little brother!”

“See you soon, wee one! Don't fool around!”

They left, leaving only her and Dr. Lanyon at the grave of her husband. She turned to the doctor and saw that he was about to follow her in-laws.

“Stay”, she requested, “I don't want to be alone. Not this year. Just step a bit away, while I speak to James.”

He obeyed and left her hearing range.

Lady Summers turned back to the grave. “Hello, my love”, she whispered gently. “I'm sorry I couldn't be there on your birthday. Two very difficult clients kept me away.”

She thought of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and chuckled. “These two are quite a piece of work. But dare I say, I think things are progressing with them. Their case would blow your mind, love. I swear, the craziest things happened this year. Can you guess how I met Mr. Hyde? Of course you can't! I was on a nightly walk and saw him try to kill Sir Carew. For no other reason other that the poor old sod talked to him. Of course I had to interfere, you know me. And then Mr. Hyde and I had a sword fight! As for Dr. Jekyll, he came a few days later to apologise for Mr. Hyde's behaviour and I reproached him about a few things. Then Mr. Hyde was shot about two weeks later and Mr. Utterson brought him to me. My staff and I spent one month and a half with helping his recovery. You're probably wondering, why I have taken on an almost-murderer.”

She rolled her eyes. “It's very complicated and you wouldn't understand it. Then, no normal person would. He has no sense of morality. In fact, he is quite a lot like a troubled teenager or a neglected child. He needs someone to guide him and listen to his problems. And who better than me?”

She laughed. “He sees me as a surrogate mother by now. And honestly, I don't mind it one bit. You know why, love!”

She stopped laughing. “Maybe you're asking who your father was talking about earlier. Or who the man behind me is. He's the one I told you about in the last twelve years. Dr. Lanyon, my personal doctor. He's so good to me …”

A sniff. “Forgive me, love. You must think that I'm being unfaithful. But of course you don't. You're … you're such a sensible, kind man. Jamie … my darling copperhead … I miss you … it's not fair … why … why …”

Now Lady Summers couldn't keep it up any longer. Her legs gave away, she buried her face in her hand and began to cry.

Not before long, she felt Dr. Lanyon's arms embrace her comfortingly.

“Shhh”, he cooed, “Shhh, Milady …”

He proceeded to rub circles over her back, while she sobbed into his chest.

“My poor radiant angel”, Lanyon whispered sadly, “The world has been way too cruel to you …”

 

The rest of the visit passed like a whim.

The sons of Lord Summers initially made Lanyon extremely uncomfortable by interrogating him about his relationship with Lady Summers. But after they had realised that he wasn't interested in dabbing it up with her, they had been far friendlier.

The goodbye was therefore cordial, when Lady Summers, her servants and Dr. Lanyon were standing at the gate, ready for their coach to arrive. When Mr. O'Connor came with the coach, they bid the Summers goodbye once more, before getting into the cab and leaving for the train station.

Once they sat in their first class cabin, the butler, the lady-in-waiting and the nurse were obviously relieved to leave the country.

But the coachman looked a bit sad. Lanyon wondered, if Cornwall maybe reminded him of Ireland.

“Well, this went better than expected”, Lady Summers remarked after a few hours of silence.

Lanyon couldn't help but agree silently.

“Thank you for coming with me”, she said gently.

“Of course”, he replied, “We both know it was absolutely necessary.”

“Yeah”, the nurse piped up, “Really was! Can you believe that she went there all those years without a doctor? And the doctors there are very stupid!”

“Marie Rickinger!”, Lady Summers warned, but it was already too late.

Lanyon's blood was boiling.

“You made this journey”, he said slowly, “All those years. Without a real doctor. Even though you couldn't be sure, if proper medical treatment would be available. And knowing you, your world journeys weren't any different?”

“Yes”, said Lady Summers.

“No”, said Miss Rickinger.

“ _Marie,_ _du Verräterin*_!”, the Lady snapped angrily, but the nurse just returned her glare.

“How can you be so careless?!”, Lanyon enraged himself and jumped from his seat, “You're going to kill yourself at this rate! It can't be asked too much, that you take care of your own health! You're so good at counselling other people, why the hell can't you heed your own advice?! Why do you never listen to mine?! Being a difficult patient is one thing, but I did not become your doctor to have you ignore my instructions and risk your goddamn life! Can you just swallow your pride for a minute and stop to consider how much strain your health can actually take with that condition of yours?!”

He sat down in frustration. “Your recklessness reminds me way too much of Henry's. Really, what am I going to do with you?!”

He felt a pang of guilt, when he saw the sad look on the Lady's face. But right now, he was way too upset himself to apologise.

The Lady glared at her servants. “ _Vielen Dank auch**!_ ”, she hissed.

“Don't give us that look, _Sahib***_!”, the butler protested.

“Yeh, he's got you there, Milady”, the coachman agreed.

“ _Hai_ ”, the lady-in-waiting added, “Dr. Lanyon is right. You should be more careful, o _nee-san_.****”

“Thank you, Miss Kurogawa”, Lanyon muttered.

She bowed her head politely.

Lady Summers was less appreciative. “You back-stabbers”, she muttered.

But they just shrugged nonchalantly.

Before the argument could continue, the conductor appeared to announce that it was time for lunch.

Perfect timing.

 

Lady Summers and Lanyon were both pleasantly surprised to find, that Mr. Utterson and Dr. Jekyll were waiting for them at the train station. After days of awkward silence between the Countess and the doctor, the two men truly were a sight for sore eyes.

“Good to see you here again”, Utterson greeted them,

“Likewise”, the Lady replied and shook his hand.

Dr. Jekyll smiled: “I hope you had a pleasant journey, despite the sad reason for it.”

Lanyon sighed: “Not really, but thank you.”

The blond doctor blinked. “Did something happen between you two?”, he asked, looking back and forth between Lanyon and Lady Summers.

For a second Lanyon considered spilling the beans, but decided against it. “Nothing worth mentioning”, he told his friend. “Let's go, everyone. You have no idea, how much I have missed London! Travelling by train is so tiresome! I thought the journey would never end! It's so good to be here again!”

They finally left the station, each of them carrying a bag.

The weather was sunny today and Lanyon couldn't help but smile.

 _Yes_ , he thought, looking about the streets of the city, as their coaches drove to the Lady's villa. _London may be dirty, dangerous and full of fog and smoke, but I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. Being here always brightens my mood._

“Soooo”, the coachman suddenly spoke up from his seat, “Have you two confessed your undying love for each other, while you were there? I mean, you had enough occasions!”

The other three servants looked at him and the Lady curiously.

The blonde and the white-head exchanged a confused look.

“Uhhh … no?”

Everyone groaned frustratedly.

* * *

_*Du Verräterin! - German for: You traitor (female)!_

_**Vielen Dank auch! - German for: Thanks a lot! (as a reproach)_

_***Sahib - Hindi for ‘master’ or ‘mistress’ (probably, I’m not sure, though)_

_****Hai … onee-san. - Japanese for: Yes … big sister._

 


	24. Rendezvous with a mad scientist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jekyll takes Utterson out on a date. Shameless fluff and half-way discreet romance.

Jekyll could have danced all the way home.

Which was stupid, but he couldn't help himself.

After days of consideration, inner struggle and Hyde yelling at him to “JUST POP THE QUESTION ALREADY!!!”, he had finally worked up the courage to ask Utterson on a date. Just a trip to the theatre, nothing special, then dinner maybe.

And the lawyer had said yes!!!

Oh, the Doctor felt like he was walking on air!

Of course dancing in the middle of the street in broad daylight was ungentlemanly and he had a reputation to uphold. But he was just way too happy to keep it all in.

A flower girl profited from his good mood, when he bought all of her flowers.

He laughed at the way she gaped at the ten Pounds in her hand, as if they were the most magnificent thing she had seen in her entire life. Although, they probably were.

“For yer wife, Sir?”, the girl asked curiously, after a few seconds.

Jekyll smiled and shook his head. “No, I'm not married. These are to beautify my home.”

The flower girl grinned toothily. Her teeth were quite yellow, but there was life in her grin. That was the grin of someone who lived in misery, but still had hopes and dreams.

“Oh, but yer in love, right? I can tell!”, she laughed.

He chuckled and gave in. “Well, women have an eye for these things, don't they?”

The doctor took the flowers he had just purchased and cradled them in his arms.

“But don't tell anyone, young lady”, he added good-humouredly, “It's unbecoming for a gentleman at my age to-”

“One is never too old for love!”, the flower girl laughed merrily, “God bless you, Sir! And lots of luck to you!”

“Good luck to you too”, Jekyll replied and continued his way home.

 

“ _I can't believe you spent ten Pounds on an armful of roses!”,_ Hyde complained as soon as Jekyll was in his private rooms. _“Ten Pounds! And look at these things! They're all together worth a few Shillings at best!”_

Jekyll's mouth twitched upward. “My dear Edward, if I remember correctly, a certain mishap on your part cost me a hundred Pounds. So don't complain, if I use my money for something good. Besides, my home could use some decoration, don't you agree?”

Hyde groaned: _“Are you rubbing this in my face again? I thought we agreed to never speak of this again!”_

“And I thought we agreed to never speak of my personal spendings, Edward Hyde. You're in no position to complain to me about it, young man, you live on _my_ wealth”, Jekyll retorted and sat behind his desk. There was work to do.

Hyde grumbled something under his breath.

Jekyll looked up to the mirror next to him. “Now, there is no need for that kind of language.”

“ _Yes, there is”_ , the brunette in the mirror grumbled, _“It makes me feel better.”_

“What's agitating you anyways? And don't tell me it's the flowers and the money I spent on them, you've been like this all week.”

“ _Well, if you have to know!”_ , Hyde cried in frustration and exited the mirror to sit on his creator's desk. _“First I was frustrated at how fucking long it took you to ask him out! Secondly, I really hate your lovey-dovey behaviour! I mean look at you! Swooning over your lawyer like a fifteen-year-old girl! If you have to be in love, can't you be a little less corny?!”_

The blond put his pen down and frowned at the younger man. “As a matter of fact, no. Hyde, what is your real problem? My love for Gabriel never bothered you before.”

Hyde just huffed and looked away.

But it wasn't quick enough for Jekyll not to notice the look in his eyes.

The blond knew his alter ego – just like Hyde knew him – and he would have recognised that expression anywhere.

“ _What's so funny?”_ , Hyde snapped, when Jekyll chuckled quietly.

The doctor smiled at him. “I just find it amusing how you pretend not to give a damn, despite how obvious your jealousy is. You're such a brat.”

He put as much fondness in his words as possible, to get his point across.

When Hyde turned back to him, his bilious green eyes full of mirth, it was clear that he had.

“ _And you're a hypocritical, sentimental, old fool”_ , the young man retorted.

Jekyll laughed merrily: “Yes, I can't deny that I am.”

 

Utterson was nervous.

He had arrived at their meeting point early and the longer he was waiting, the more antsy he became. It was still another two minutes and the lawyer prayed desperately, that Jekyll wouldn't be late. The blond wasn't the type of man to be late, but Lanyon had told him about all the times Jekyll had been late to their dates or forgot them entirely. Mostly because he had been experimenting.

_Oh my god, what if Henry forgot that we were supposed to-?_

Before he could end that thought, the subject of his concerns came around the corner.

_Oh thank God!_

Jekyll looked around, saw him and approached him with hurried steps.

“Hello, Utterson”, he greeted him breathlessly, “I'm sorry for being late, I-”

“You're not late”, Utterson informed him, “You're on time. And hello to you too, Jekyll. Looking dashing, old chap.”

How he hated saying 'old chap', but they were in public and had to keep up appearances.

The Doctor was wearing a black tailor-fit fur coat with a blueish hue, a purple silk scarf, black leather gloves, his best top hat and winter boots.

Jekyll blushed lightly. “You think so? I didn't even know I still had that coat and scarf. But I found them again and since this is a special occasion I thought I might as well try them on again. You're looking quite dashing yourself, if I may say so.”

The lawyer laughed. “You're jesting!”

“No, I'm serious!”

The black-haired man was wearing a black wool coat and top hat. To that a lavender scarf and white velvet gloves.

“You look handsome”, Jekyll whispered, before saying more loudly: “Let's go. They're performing Shakespeare's 'The Tempest' tonight and I remember that this is one of your favourites! I reserved us one of the boxes, so we will have a bit of privacy, while having a good view at the same time.”

Utterson beamed at the other.

 

The performance was perfect.

The actors did an amazing job, the atmosphere was splendid and the effects were stunning.

And of course it helped that they had an entire box for themselves.

Jekyll couldn't help but tear his attention away from the play from time to time. Watching Utterson watch the play was almost equally interesting.

The usually aloof lawyer got completely caught up in the atmosphere. He laughed during the funny scenes, discreetly expressed his antipathy towards the villainous characters and on occasion told Jekyll what would happen next.

Which wasn't necessary.

But the Doctor suspected, that this was just how it was, when someone liked a story very much. He took it with a fond smile and pretended that he didn't already know the play as well as his love did.

Utterson was so enraptured by the performance, that Jekyll didn't bother to try to begin a conversation (which was why he had reserved a box for them in the first place).

But it was okay. At least he could look (stare) at the black-haired man without anyone noticing.

_He's too handsome for his own good …_

“ _Seriously?”_ , Hyde's voice piped up, _“There is nothing physically remarkable about him! Well, except for his eyes, when he smiles – maybe.”_

 _Oh shut up_ , Jekyll scoffed mentally, _I distinctly remember, that his eyes captivated you enough that you decided, that their colour is your favourite one._

“ _Just do me a favour and watch the play!”_ , Hyde grumbled, _“I can't assume my shadowy form here, so I need to see through your eyes! And because you're staring at him all the time, I'm currently bored as hell!”_

Jekyll grinned, but complied. After all, Hyde had never been to the theatre in his existence and he had behaved nicely as of late. Well, nicely by Hyde's standards.

 

In the darkness of the theatre, Utterson hadn't been able to make out, what Jekyll was wearing under his coat. But here in the restaurant, it was light enough for him to see that he was wearing an adorned, indigo waistcoat over a white shirt and-

“Don't. Say. A word”, Jekyll warned, when he noticed the lawyer smirking at his bow tie. It was the purple one Lanyon had given him for Christmas.

But Utterson couldn't help but remark: “Lanyon will be so delighted.”

“Not if he doesn't find out”, the blond grumbled, making the black-haired man laugh.

 _Oh, I will definitely tell him!_ , he thought gleefully.

He himself was wearing a lavender waistcoat and tie to a white shirt and blushed, when the blond complimented his attire again.

The restaurant was fancy, but not too much, which Utterson was grateful for. Jekyll had chosen well, here he didn't feel as underdressed as in the clubs where Jekyll liked to dine.

The Doctor was much richer than he himself was, as was Lanyon. Not to mention how insanely wealthy Lady Summers was. Sometimes the lawyer couldn't help but feel like he was the odd one out. Like a lowly commoner among bourgeoisie and aristocracy. It was a good thing that the three weren't as arrogant as most people of their class.

“Gabriel.”

Utterson blinked. “Yes?”

Jekyll was frowning at him. “You're moping again. Thinking about how you're so inferior to me, Lanyon and Lady Summers, because we're much richer, aren't you?”

The lawyer blushed awkwardly.

“I take that as a yes. Well, stop it. It's not true and you know it. I resent that classist thinking and I wish you wouldn't feel that way. You have no idea just how much of a gift you are.”

He blushed harder. “Oh hush, Henry.”

“Nay.”

Jekyll looked around to see if anyone could hear them.

Then he continued, more quietly: “Do you think I would love you, if I looked down on you? _I'm_ pretty certain I wouldn't. Because in that case I would be blind to what a wonderful person you really are.”

“Sh-shut up!”, Utterson begged. If the other went on, he would die from embarrassment!

The Doctor chuckled. “Don't worry, I've said my say now. I won't embarrass you any further. I just meant to make a point.”

Utterson smiled weakly.

Now that they knew each other's secrets and feelings, Jekyll was smothering him with affection. It was almost too much to handle for the reserved lawyer. And it made him concerned. The Doctor was intensive and careless in the way he loved.

So how would Hyde – Jekyll's flaws and desires incarnate – act, if he grew attracted to him? His backhanded compliments and underhand remarks were creepy enough already. Utterson really didn't want to imagine, what that madman's definition of courting would be.

 _Enough_ , the lawyer admonished himself. _Today is for Jekyll. I can continue to worry about Hyde tomorrow._

 

They finished their dinner, paid and left the restaurant.

Utterson accompanied Jekyll back home, much to the latter's delight.

Jekyll chose to enter his house from the backyard, where Hyde usually came and went. He was hoping that Utterson would come inside with him. But he was disappointed quickly, when the lawyer refused.

“It was a wonderful day and the offer is tempting. But I'm tired, Harry”, the black-haired man told him quietly. And he did look exhausted.

For a second, Jekyll considered offering him to stay the night.

But then he remembered, what Lady Summers had said about pushing things to the next level already. He needed to give the lawyer more time.

And so he just smiled and relented. “Of course. Good night, my dear fellow. I hope you will sleep well.”

“Likewise”, Utterson replied.

The clouds drifted away and the moonlight fell into the backyard. It illuminated Utterson's face, making it look like snow in contrast to his black hair.

He looked so gorgeous.

Oh, how badly he wanted to kiss him!

“ _Then do it!”_ , Hyde piped up, _“Stop with that disgusting pining and just kiss him already, you old fool! You've wanted it for decades, so why don't you?! What holds you back? It's late and dark in here, no one will see it!”_

 _Maybe, but has it ever occurred to you, that perhaps I have a modicum of respect for him?_ , Jekyll thought sarcastically.

“ _Sure!”_ , Hyde snorted, _“That's why_ I'm _such a respectful person! Because_ you _have so much of it!”_

_Edward Hyde, I warn you-_

“Arguing with yourself again?”, Utterson spoke up.

Jekyll blushed, caught red-handed.

“I can tell by now”, the lawyer explained, “For someone who always keeps his face in public, you have the worst poker-face. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“No, but I'm definitely going to work on it”, Jekyll muttered.

Utterson frowned. “Fine, if you insist. But not to me, Henry.”

He took his hand, making his face flush deeper. “I want you to be honest and open to me. No more secrets. Promise?”

Jekyll smiled and kissed the other's hand.

“I promise”, he said sweetly and added: “I love you. So much.”

Utterson's face flushed just as hard as his own (much to his satisfaction).

“I-I know”, he stuttered. “A-and thank you. F-for the day, I mean. It was wonderful.”

Then he squeezed the blond's hand once more, whispered good night and ran off.

Jekyll looked after him, before breaking into a huge grin and went inside.

This had been the most wonderful day and not even Hyde's frustrated nagging could ruin it now.

 

Utterson practically flew all the way back home, still flushed with embarrassment.

As soon as he was there, he threw himself onto his bed, grinned and sighed blessedly.

For a brief moment he wondered, if that was how youngsters felt, if the object of their affection requited their love.

Either way, the black-haired man couldn't recall, if he had ever been happier than he was now. Happiness wasn't even the word. Bliss was closer to it.

Whether his feelings were a sin or not, he thanked the Lord anyway.

_What a magical day_


	25. Stalking Mr. Hyde and consequences pt. 03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Utterson decides to … look for Hyde again and gets more than he bargained for. Two idiots get into trouble.

Utterson really wanted to know what heinous crimes Jekyll got up to, when he was Edward Hyde.

Too bad he had promised Hyde not to ask him about his criminal activities. And that promise he wouldn't break, after all he was a man of his word.

But Gabriel John Utterson _was_ a lawyer. A good one. And a good lawyer always found a loophole.

And in this case that loophole was taking up his … uh, searching of the young man again (one could also call it stalking, but that was such a strong word).

So a few days after his date with Jekyll, he decided to quit early and take an afternoon nap, so he would be more awake and aware at night. He knew that Hyde would be skulking around in Soho tonight, because by now he knew the patterns of who was out when.

Finally, at ten in the evening, he got ready to go out, took his umbrella (because it was raining), as well as his walking stick and left house.

Ho boy, was it cold! And the rain made it even worse. It was like the cold was creeping under his coat and skin, even though he was dressed warmly.

Soho was just as eerie as it had been last time. Perhaps even eerier. It was rainy, dark, muddy and dirty. Even at that time of the night, people were scurrying around, trying to find shelter from the rain, before they caught their death.

It hurt the lawyer to see the shivering, freezing people in rags, crawling in the dirt. Surely some of them wouldn't last the rest of the winter …

Utterson took a cab to Hyde's flat this time. Even in his simplest clothes, he was better dressed than most people living here and he would have stood out. Which was dangerous in Soho. So there was no way he would walk around and expose himself like that.

Desperately hoping that Hyde hadn't gone out for the night yet, he knocked at the front door of the house where he knew him to live.

It was opened by an evil-looking, old woman. That had to be his housekeeper.

_What a fitting choice for someone like Edward Hyde …_

He greeted her politely and apologised for the late disturbance, she received him with equal politeness, but coolly. She nodded in acknowledgement, when he introduced himself as Edward Hyde's lawyer (which wasn't even a lie, the young man was Jekyll's darker side, after all).

When he asked, whether Mr. Hyde was home, her eyes twinkled evilly. “Is he in trouble?”

“No”, he replied calmly, “There are simply a few papers that need discussion.”

“Oh, I see. Well, he's not home, I'm afraid. Mr. Hyde left just ten minutes ago and won't be back until long after midnight.”

 _Just my luck, huh?_ , he thought frustratedly.

The old lady continued: “Shall I tell him that you were here, when he comes home?”

“No, thank you”, he declined, “I'll try again some time soon. Perhaps, if I'm lucky, I'll run into him on my way home.”

“He usually spends the nights in the nearby pubs and coffee houses. Just in case your issue is urgent”, she supplied. Then she gave him the name and address of a particular entertainment a few streets away.

Utterson thanked her politely, before taking his leave. And to think Jekyll had hired that creature for her silence. She seemed to be eager to see Hyde get into trouble.

_But then again, Jekyll also said that she was unscrupulous too, didn't he?_

The lawyer decided to follow her advice and went to check said location (even though the very thought made his skin crawl and his reputation surely would be ruined, if someone who knew him recognised him).

_I can't believe I'm going to a brothel! That is a terrible idea …_

But then again, he had acted on a lot of terrible ideas in the last months to find out what he wanted to know. And so far he didn't really regret it.

The cab driver grinned, when he gave the address. What the man thought was obvious, but Utterson contented himself with giving him a sharp glare.

The place was just as shoddy as he had suspected.

He swallowed his revulsion and entered. The place was busy, as expected from an entertainment of the evening. So many men who were here to either get completely wasted or to take the service of the girls. Or both. Most of them were brawny working class folk, but the lawyer caught sight of some who were better dressed. To his shock, there even was a priest, fondling with a particularly buxom prostitute.

Before he could even look for Hyde, he was approached by a lowly creature with a smarmy smile. Probably the pimp.

“Good evening, Sir! How can I serve you? Do you want a drink? Or would you rather take the service from our girls?”

Right. Definitely the pimp.

Utterson replied in the most detached manner possible: “I'm afraid to disappoint you, but I'm just looking for someone.”

For a second the other man's smile faltered, before it returned in its entire smarmy glory. “May I ask, who that would be? And, most importantly, who I have the honour with?”

Utterson knew that he was treading on very thin ice, so he lowered his voice: “I'm looking for Mr. Edward Hyde and I'm his lawyer.”

The man's mask slipped and reared its ugly head. Then the creature composed himself and replied calmly: “I'm afraid, Mr. Hyde isn't here. Sadly he doesn't visit our establishment on Saturday nights. Is he in trouble?”, he repeated the landlady's question from earlier.

“Not yet”, Mr. Utterson replied and assured him, “And neither are you, if it makes you feel better. For I just wanted to see if he was here and now will be taking my leave.”

The pimp relaxed considerably. No surprise there. People who ran shady businesses never liked having men of the law in their establishments. Then he gave Utterson directions to a pub nearby.

The lawyer thanked him and saw himself out.

A sigh of relief escaped him, as soon as he stepped outside. The noise, the small and all the drunk rascals in there had been unbearable.

Whelp. Time to see, if I'm luckier this time.

Then he followed the directions he had been given, hoping that it wasn't a trap. This time he chose to walk. Certainly not a good idea, he knew, but he had already paid the cab driver off.

Reaching the address (miraculously without getting mugged), he found that there was a lot of yelling and swearing coming from inside the pub. The lawyer decided, that it was wiser to stay outside and pressed himself against a shadowed wall.

Sure enough, just when he had hidden away, a brawny man came flying out of the door. He landed in the mud and released a flood of very nasty swear words. In the light of the street lamb, the lawyer could see that he had been given a full mourning and some bruises.

Then another came flying outside, joining his crony in the mud.

Then three more.

Utterson decided to peek inside.

Sure enough, he heard a very familiar, savage cackle.

Looking inside, he saw no other than the man he had been looking for, still in a brawl with two men twice his size. And he seemed to be winning. Hyde appeared to be having the time of his life, beating the hell out of half a dozen drunk brutes at once.

_How the bloody hell is he doing that?!_

And to make matters even more insane, the small brunette seized the smaller of his opponents (who was still twice his size) by the hips, lifted him above his own head and sent him out to the door, just like the five others before.

Then he knocked the taller one off his feet and started to beat him to a bloody pulp. All the while laughing like the Devil himself.

_Oh my god, Henry, how can you allow this?!_

Utterson decided that he had seen enough and got out of there, while he still could.

 

A while later, he had got far away from the pub.

But now Utterson had a completely different problem: he had no idea where he was.

He was completely and utterly lost.

Lost in Soho, one of the poorest, most dangerous districts in London.

“Damn it, damn it, damn it”, he cursed. “Why did I think that coming here would be a good idea?!”

“Good question!”, a voice spoke from behind.

The lawyer yelped in shock and leapt at least five feat away.

He would have recognised that androgynous, raspy voice anywhere, but when it started cackling, there was no doubt about who it was.

“Did I scare you?”, Hyde snickered, obviously enjoying the half startled, half indignant look on the lawyer's face.

The young man was leaning against a brick wall. Even in the din light of the lamb, the black-haired man could see, that there was blood on the brunette's coat. And that little bastard was looking as relaxed as if it wasn't there, as if nothing had happened!

Utterson would have hit him, if he hadn't known that this would most certainly backfire.

“No, Mr. Hyde, I love it when someone sneaks up on me from behind!”, he retorted angrily.

Hyde laughed. Then he wiped the smirk of his face and asked coolly: “What are you doing here? You're stalking me again, aren't you? This is starting to go on my nerves, Mr. Utterson.”

The lawyer took a deep breath and replied: “And not knowing what you get up to during your nightly exploits is starting to go on mine.”

Hyde lifted an eyebrow. “Why didn't you just ask?”

Utterson sighed frustratedly: “Two reasons: because Jekyll wouldn't have told me and because I promised you not to ask, just in case you forgot.”

“And you thought being stalked wouldn't bother me any more than being questioned?”, Hyde threw back icily. “Name one person, who enjoys getting stalked by their lawyer and I'll not complain about it from now on. But I doubt you'll be able to think of one.”

With that the lawyer wouldn't argue, the boy was right. However …

“And what if I had questioned you? Would you have named all of your misdeeds and gone into the gory details with sadistic pleasure? While I listen to you with increasing horror? You would have enjoyed that, wouldn't you?”, he accused.

Hyde fake considered the question. “Hmmm … maybe?”

Utterson's right eye twitched and he felt his face flush.

Oh, how he wanted to hit that little demon! Really, if Hyde wasn't Jekyll's darker side …

Hyde chuckled darkly, evidently enjoying the other's irritation.

Utterson gasped in shock, when the smaller grabbed his scarf and pulled him down to his eye level.

“Oh, how I love to rouse your temper”, he purred lowly, “To push your buttons, until your professional mask slips away! It's so enticing! Anger looks so _beautiful_ on your face, I could-”

“There he is! There is that little demon!”

Both men whirled around. At the end of the alley was a horde of men. Some of them Utterson recognised as the men Hyde had bested earlier. Apparently they had called in reinforcements to get their revenge.

Hyde's bilious green eyes skimmed over the crowd, counting them.

“Oh, shite”, he muttered.

No doubt, those were way too many men for even Edward Hyde to take on.

Suddenly, the brunette grabbed the lawyer by the wrist and started to run.

Utterson cried out in surprise and almost tripped, before following the other suit.

He caught the mob beginning to pursue them, then Hyde pulled him around the next corner.

They ran from street to street, but somehow the mob managed to stay on their heels, no matter how many curves Hyde cut.

But the younger man was running too fast.

Utterson struggled to keep up and Hyde was still holding his wrist.

“Mister Hyde!”, he cried and the younger slowed down a bit.

“What is it now?!”, he snapped irritably.

“Not so fast, I can't keep up-”

“We have no time for this!”, Hyde hissed, “We need to get away! If they catch us, we'll both be dead!”

“And whose fault is that?!”

“Just shut up and run!”, the smaller growled and pulled the taller around the next corner.

They both froze in their tracks.

“Are you fucking kidding me!”, Hyde screamed in frustration.

They had arrived at a dead end. And the only way back would lead right into the arms of the bloodthirsty mob.

“We're doomed!”, Utterson lamented.

To his surprise, Hyde's face was calm.

“Not yet”, he returned.

The black-haired followed the other's glance and noticed the conveniently placed rain water downpipe.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”, Hyde asked impatiently, “Start climbing if you love your life!”

“I …” Utterson gulped. “I can't!”

“What do you mean, you can't?! There is no time for hesitation!!!”

“I can't! I have no energy left, I can't climb, the downpipe is too high, I-”

He yelped in pain and shock, when Hyde seized him by the hair, holding in a painful grip.

“One more word”, the young man snarled, “And I'll fucking leave you here. Now hold onto me and suck it up, you bloody idiot!”

The poor lawyer bit his lip and nodded fearfully. Then he held onto the smaller man and clung to him like a lifeline.

“Hold on tight”, Hyde instructed him breathlessly, “Close your eyes and don't open them until I say so.”

The older man obeyed and squeezed his eyes shut. Then, suddenly, he lost the ground under his feet and almost screamed in fear.

_Oh my god, is he actually climbing up the downpipe-?_

Mortal, unspeakable fear was possessing him. Utterson was trembling so hard, that he nearly lost his grip.

After a bit, the angle changed. The lawyer guessed, that Hyde was now climbing along the roof – still with him on his back, mind you! – and almost fainted.

It was still raining. The roof wouldn't be able to hold both their weight. And even if it did, the rain would make the tiles slippery.

They were going to die! This was insane, how was Hyde even doing this! How could that little demon possibly have enough energy left to-

_Oh Lord in Heaven, have mercy on us!_

Utterson swore, if they got out of this alive, he would punch the hell out of … whoever of the two would be in control by that time! At this point, he didn't even care anymore!

Finally, he felt something beneath his feet.

“You can let go now”, Hyde panted, “We're back on the ground.”

The lawyer let go of the other and got to his feet. Finally, he opened his eyes to look around.

They were in a narrow street. He almost sobbed in relief, when he recognised it as the street where he lived. Hyde had somehow got them out of Soho and now they were most certainly save.

Speaking of Hyde, the young brunette was currently supporting himself on a wall.

Utterson was quite sure, that he had to be hurting all over. He was thoroughly soaked, his face was a dark shade of red, he was trembling and struggling to breathe.

So why the hell was he _laughing_?!

“What are you so elated about?”, he snapped angrily. “We almost died back there!”

“This … was … _exciting_!”, Hyde wheezed and his whole face was almost aglow.

Utterson stared at him in disbelief. “WHAT?!”

Hyde fell onto his knees, threw his head back and laughed madly.

“Electrifying! The suspense … the danger … the whirlwind … of emotions … exhilarating! I've never … felt so alive!”

That was too much.

Utterson had ventured into one of the most dangerous parts of London to find the man in front of him.

He had checked on places he never would have gone to otherwise.

Had witnessed the alter ego of the man he loved beat up several men for … no reason at all?

Then they had been chased by a crazy mob.

 _Then_ he had been confronted with his acrophobia in the worst way.

He and Hyde (and therefore Jekyll as well) had almost _died_!

The lawyer was soaked, freezing, tired and a nervous wreck.

AND THAT LITTLE BASTARD HERE WAS ENJOYING HIMSELF?!

Utterson's hand moved on its own accord.

A loud smack sounded through the rain and Hyde was staring at him wide-eyed.

“Shut your cursed mouth!”, Utterson growled.

He grabbed the smaller man by the shoulders and started to shake him.

“Do you have the faintest idea what we just went through?! That this little stunt of yours almost killed us?! You … you … YOU BLOODY IDIOT!!!”

“ _YOU'RE_ THE IDIOT!”, Hyde yelled back, “JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, I ALMOST FELL OFF A ROOF, TRYING TO GET YOU OUT OF THERE! AND WHY?! BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T SUCK UP YOUR SPINELESSNESS AND CLIMB UP THAT BLEEDING RAIN PIPE BY YOURSELF! IT ALMOST FELL DOWN UNDER OUR COMBINED WEIGHT! HAD I BEEN ALONE, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NO PROBLEM AT ALL!!!”

No problem at all, huh? So it was all _his_ fault?!

That earned Hyde another slap.

“THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAVE ME THERE?! I KNOW YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT ON YOUR OWN, SO WHY DID YOU RISK BOTH YOUR AND JEKYLL'S LIFE TO-”

“BECAUSE HE _LOVES_ YOU!!!”, Hyde roared.

For a few moments, the wind, rain and their laboured breathing were the only sound.

Then the brunette sighed and lowered his head.

As he spoke, his voice sounded incredibly tired. “Dammit, Mr. Utterson. Don't place all the blame on me. _You're_ the one who decided to follow me into one of the most dangerous parts of London. I get into similar situations almost every Saturday night and it never was a problem before. You should have considered this, _before_ waltzing in here and nearly ruining-”

“Shut up!”, Utterson spat and slapped him again.

Hyde just laughed tiredly: “Are you quite done, Sir? Or how many times do you want to slap me?”

Utterson couldn't explain how, but in that moment, time seemed to slow down.

His anger ebbed away, leaving only pain, anguish and exhaustion.

And he realised: the younger was far too worn out to do anything. Hyde had overstrained himself to a ludicrous degree and it was astounding that he was even still awake.

The brunette blinked in confusion, when the lawyer cupped his face and stroked his cheeks.

“Mr. Utterson-?”

“Shut up! Just … shut up”, he whimpered.

Then he embraced the smaller man tightly and cried.

 

Hyde was completely at loss.

Completely.

He was still elated from the earlier exploits, while at the same time he was angry at the lawyer, who had nearly ruined everything, and hopelessly confused, because aforementioned lawyer was now crying into his shoulder.

After slapping him and yelling at him, no less.

“I could have lost you both!”, the lawyer wailed and sobbed harder. “Don't you ever do that again!”

 _Yeah, just gloss over the fact, that you almost died as well_ , the brunette thought drily. But he didn't say it aloud.

Exhaustion was settling in – with a vengeance.

He was soggy and freezing from the winter rain, worn out and hurting all over.

It was all too much.

Hyde was just so overwhelmed by everything.

He wanted to curl up in a warm, cosy bed and sleep for days.

A loud yawn escaped him.

Utterson chuckled weakly. “You're tired, aren't you?”

“Mhm.”

“Of course. You overexerted yourself quite a bit there. You can stay with me for the night. My flat is nearby.”

“Hm.”

He felt Mr. Utterson pick him up and carry him in return. Somewhere along the line, the lawyer muttered something that sounded like an apology for the slaps.

But he was way too tired to register it.

Before they had arrived at their destination, he was already dead asleep.

 

Utterson couldn't help but chuckle fondly at the bundle of trouble snoozing in his arms.

Edward Hyde was looking like a child in his sleep. Blissful, delicate and – dare he think it – bleeding adorable!

And the lawyer was determined not to ruin that.

Half an hour later, both were cleaned up and out of their wet clothes (a blushing Utterson had changed Hyde into one of his nightgowns) and the brunette was safely tugged in bed. He hadn't even woken up once during all this.

Utterson looked at the sleeping man.

Last time he had seen him like this was during his recovery at Lady Summers' home. That had been, when he had stayed the night, because Hyde had had a nightmare. He had fallen asleep with Utterson at his bedside and had looked just as peaceful as now.

His previously flushed face was now back to its usual snow white colour and framed by his flowing, café noir brown hair. It looked completely relaxed.

A small, genuine smile was hinting itself at the corner of Hyde's lips. He seemed to be having a nice dream.

Utterson sighed lowly and brushed a stray strand out of the young man's face.

Oh, that man … he just couldn't stay angry at him!

It was so hard to imagine now, that he had ever thought of him as repulsive.

_Edward Hyde … what are you doing to me?_


	26. The morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crazy night is followed by a nasty angst hangover

When Utterson woke up, it was late in the morning. For a second he wondered, why his clock hadn't woken him up. Until he remembered, that it was Sunday.

And the other person in his flat sprung to his mind.

 _I better check on him_ , he thought. And tiredly crawled off the couch to see after his guest.

He wasn't even surprised, when he found Henry Jekyll instead of Edward Hyde sleeping in his bed.

As if sensing the lawyer's presence, the blond stirred and slowly opened his eyes.

“Good morning, Jekyll”, Utterson greeted.

The Doctor blinked in confusion and looked around. “Gabe …? Where am I … why am I here … what happened …?”

The lawyer frowned. “You don't remember what happened last night?”

Jekyll's expression became mildly unsettled at that question. But he shook his head.

Oh.

Hyde must have blocked him out, while he had pursued his … _reprehensible_ passions.

How … considerate? He supposed?

Utterson decided, that Jekyll shouldn't have a nervous breakdown right after waking up.

“This is my flat”, he supplied, “I stumbled over Hyde last night and he was too tired to go all the way back to your home. So, because my flat was closer, I offered to-”

“Gabriel.”

There was a warning undertone to Jekyll's voice. He was looking at the lawyer suspiciously.

“That's not really what happened, is it?”, he queried, “I may not remember anything, but when you get so vague, it always means you're hiding something. Tell me the truth.”

The black-haired man sighed: “I will tell you later. Or”, he added pointedly, “You could ask your other half! I'm sure, Mr. Hyde will be delighted to give you all the gory details!”

Ignoring the hurt look in the other's light brown eyes, he turned to leave. “Go back to sleep. You overexerted yourself last night. I will see, if I can whip up some breakfast. After all, it's Sunday and my servants are at home. Also, I have some phone calls to make.”

Then he left the other alone.

 

Jekyll had so many questions right now.

What the hell had happened last night?

Why was he still so incredibly tired, even though he had slept like a rock?

Why was his entire body so sore?

Why was his back hurting, as if he had carried something heavy?

And most importantly, why was Utterson so upset and chilled towards him?!

He tried to remember of his own, but it just made his hurt more.

Dammit, this pain was far, far worse than what he usually woke up to on Sunday mornings!

Just what had Hyde got up to?!

“Edward?”, he called out aloud.

He was just too tired to hold a mental conversation.

For a few minutes nothing happened.

Then Hyde's voice finally answered. _“You called?”_

“What the hell happened last night?”, the doctor snapped, “You better give me a good explanation!”

Another moment of silence followed.

Then Hyde laughed: _“Why don't you ask your lawyer?”_

“Because he won't tell me! Now spill!”

A chuckle. _“Of course he wouldn't. After all, he doesn't like to see his dear Doctor upset, does he? Alright, since you asked for it.”_

Without a warning, Hyde supplied him with all memories of the previous night.

At first Jekyll was overwhelmed by the flood of pictures and noises.

Then, when his mind had finally registered them all fully, his eyes widened in horror.

“Hyde”, he whispered, “What have you done!”

“ _Of course!”_ , Hyde snapped, _“Blame everything on me, when it was his stupid decision to bloody stalk me! If he hadn't been there, none of this would have happened!”_

“He's scared of heights!”, Jekyll snapped back angrily, “Not only did we almost fall to our deaths, because of your insane stunt, he almost died of fright, because you dragged him across a bloody roof, knowing that one false step could have lead to all three of us dying!!! What were you trying to do back there!”

“ _It was either this or getting beaten to death by a crazy mob!”_ , his darker half reminded him coldly, _“Just in case it didn't occur to you, those were at least two dozen men! Not even I can take on so many and I was already exhausted from the brawl earlier! Do you think they would have spared your precious lawyer, after seeing him with me? Especially with him looking like a rich snob?!”_

Jekyll knew what Hyde meant.

If the small brunette had just left Utterson there, those cowards would have taken their frustration out on the innocent lawyer. When a brutish mob of working class scum couldn't exact their revenge on the object of their anger, everyone was fair game. They would have beaten him to a pulp, before robbing him of everything that could be of value.

The very thought made the Doctor burst into tears.

He heard Hyde sigh in his head. _“Oh, good grief.”_

Then the smaller man manifested as a spectre and sat at the edge of the bed.

“ _I didn't like the thought either”_ , he admitted sadly.

 

Meanwhile Lady Summers was on her way to Gaunt Street.

Mr. Utterson had called her on the telephone, sounding almost hysterical. He had given her a brief rundown of something that had happened during the previous night and reproached both Mr. Hyde and himself, until she had told him to shut up and wait for her.

So she had handed the client she was having over to her servants for entertainment and left the house.

Lady Summers was clutching her cane, with a grim expression. She was convinced that both – no, all three of them, had done something incredibly stupid. In that case, she would have to knock some sense into them.

 

Despite his upset, Utterson had somehow managed to make some breakfast. He was about to place it on a tablet to bring up to his bedroom, when he saw an extremely distraught Henry Jekyll stand in the door frame, still wearing nothing but the lawyer's nightgown.

“Gabe …”, he whimpered, his eyes filled with tears of anguish.

So he remembers now.

The doctor stumbled towards him like a lunatic, before grabbing the smaller man and hugging him tightly.

“Idiot!”, he sobbed, “Idiot, idiot, idiot! Going to Soho, just to see, what-”

Jekyll began to bawl into his shoulder, stumbling over his words.

“You idiot – could have died – I'm sorry – for everything – please – don't ever do this again – if I lost you – goddammit, Gabriel!”

The rest went under in his relentless crying.

Utterson's heart broke in two. He hugged back and began to cry as well. All of his anxiety left from the last night poured out of his eyes.

“Sorry too – sorry – dammit, Henry – I was just worried – I thought – what if you – is that what you're capable of – you could have died too – do you have any idea – you fool! If you had died – forgive me for – Henry!”

So they stood there in each other's arms, crying and apologising to each other profusely.

“Damn right, you three should apologise!”

The two men broke apart, startled by the female voice.

Lady Summers was standing in the door frame to the kitchen, looking absolutely livid.

“How did you get into my flat?”, Utterson demanded to know.

“Forget that”, the Lady growled, “The real question is: what the hell have _all three of you_ been thinking?!”

For a few seconds, there was silence.

Then she walked up to them in wide steps and whacked them both over the head with her cane several times.

“HOW ARE YOU THREE EVEN STILL ALIVE?!”, the Prussian shrieked at the two men, who were nursing their aching heads.

She inhaled sharply, then lowered her cane and leaned onto it, pinching her nose.

“You are really too stupid to live! Taking such a risk! _Sie sind ja absolut geisteskrank_! I'm positively shocked! Bewildered! Lost for words! I … I don't know what to say!”

Despite not knowing what to say, she proceeded to berate them for over an hour.

 

* * *

 

_*Sie sind ja absolut geisteskrank! - German for: You're absolutely insane!_


	27. A troublesome stroll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inconvenient transformations happen and there is foreshadowing.

Turned out Lady Summers wasn't the only angry one.

As soon as he heard what happened, Lanyon was absolutely furious, just like her. But unlike her, he had no issues with yelling reproaches and profanities at both of his friends, until his voice was too hoarse to manage more than a whisper and his anger was drained.

“I'm truly the only sane person here”, he rasped in the end, scowling at Utterson and Jekyll.

“What am I going to do with you? One of you is utterly reckless, the other has no regard for self-preservation!”

He sighed and collapsed into a chair. “You will be the death of me.”

They exchanged a guilty look, before crouching down, hugging their distressed friend and apologising endlessly.

Lanyon just leaned into the hug, too hoarse and upset to say any more.

 

The mood was still tense later, so Lady Summers suggested a walk through the park to calm them all down. Everyone was too eager to agree.

And so they went into the park.

At some point Jekyll grew tired and asked for a small break.

The four of them sat on a bench and somehow managed to enjoy the moment.

Some birds that were staying over the winter were croaking or chirping somewhere.

The air was cold, fresh and clear, as only winter air could be.

The sun was shining and there was only a little ground fog.

Some withered leaves were rustling about.

For an uncertain amount of time, the group sat in comfortable silence.

“What a beautiful day! Typical Sunday weather”, Lady Summers then said. The three men nodded in agreement.

“Been a while since the sun shone like this here in London, eh?”, Lanyon remarked.

“Indeed”, Utterson agreed.

“And do you guys know, what would make this day even better?”, Jekyll finally spoke up.

The others looked at him curiously, but he had his eyes on Utterson.

“If you, Utterson, promise me something. I'm asking this here, because I want witnesses.”

The lawyer looked at him apprehensively, but agreed.

Jekyll looked around to see, if anyone was within earshot. Then he continued: “Listen. I'm speaking for both Hyde and myself, when I say: Please … just stop stalking us. It's creepy.”

He enjoyed Utterson's flustered stuttering way too much.

When the black-haired man looked at Lanyon and Lady Summers for support, they just shrugged.

“Don't look at us that way, Utterson, he's right”, Lanyon stated.

The Lady nodded. “Yes, it _is_ kind of creepy, I'm afraid.”

The lawyer threw his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright. I admit it, I'm in the wrong here and I made a mistake. I promise by everything that's holy to never stalk you again.”

Jekyll smiled in satisfaction.

He stretched his limbs in the most gentlemanly manner possible.

“I think we can go on now”, he informed them, “I feel strong enough.”

Utterson helped him up and they slowly continued their stroll.

They were close to the exit and Lanyon was telling them something funny, when another voice called out to them.

“I can't believe my eyes! Utterson! Gentlemen! I haven't seen you in ages! How are you?”

All four turned to the right and saw a strawberry blonde young man approaching them.

Utterson cried out: “Enfield! So good to see you!”

The young man joined them and Utterson stepped next to him.

“Gentlemen, Milady, let me introduce you to my cousin, Enfield. Enfield, those are my friends Dr. Jekyll, Dr. Lanyon and my benefactor, Her Ladyship Countess Summers of Cornwall.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Enfield”, Lanyon said genially.

Lady Summers followed his greeting with reserved courtesy. “ _Enchantée_.”

Jekyll greeted the young man politely, but before he could say a few niceties, he felt Hyde stir within his conscience.

“ _It's him! It's that man!”_

Before the doctor could ask his alter ego, what he meant, he was flooded with pictures.

The night Hyde had trampled a child.

And this was the man who had stopped him and threatened to discredit him, if he didn't pay up.

And that very man was standing there, as friendly and innocent as any young man.

Suddenly he felt an immense anger. Anger that wasn't his.

And an immense nausea.

_Oh, nonononono! Not here! Not now! Hyde, please, not again!_

 

Lanyon immediately realised that something was wrong.

Jekyll paled and began to tremble. Then his cocoa brown eyes began to turn bilious green and it was clear, what was going on.

In presence of mind, the hoary doctor blurted out: “Weren't you going to tell me something, Jekyll? Right, why don't we discuss this one on one?”

He pulled his colleague behind a conveniently placed set of bushes and shielded him from every view, as he transformed into Edward Hyde.

He looked just like when Lanyon had met him first; a lost boy in Jekyll's oversized clothing.

When the young brunette came to himself and looked down, his eyes widened with horror.

“What the-? Oh shit, not agai-”

Lanyon covered his mouth with a finger.

“Not so loud!”, he hissed quietly, “You're going to alert them. Dammit, Mr. Hyde! What in blue blazes were you thinking?!”

“I – I didn't mean to”, Hyde whimpered, his voice hoarse with fear. “Do-Doctor Lanyon, please-”

The doctor shushed him and looked around. No one in sight. Perfect.

He crouched down in front of the young man and took his quivering hands.

“Alright, Mr. Hyde, compose yourself. Deep breaths. It will be fine. But you need to calm down. Don't panic!”

“You can talk”, Hyde muttered, “You're not the one-”

“Shut up and try to turn back. Deep breaths. Concentrate. Look me into the eyes.”

Under normal circumstances, the younger probably would have snapped at him for giving him orders, but he was obviously too frightened to do so.

Hyde complied, but it took a few minutes for him to calm down enough to turn back.

All the while, Lanyon looked around, to see, if anyone was looking or even passing by. He felt the small, bony hands in his own morph into the smooth, big ones of his friend. All the tension fell off his shoulders, when he looked back and Jekyll was standing in front of him.

The poor man was visibly shaken by the ordeal and still trembling all over.

“I-I'm sorry”, he choked, “I don't know what came over me-”

“Jekyll”, Lanyon whispered gently and stroked the other's hands with his thumbs, “It's fine now. Everything is fine. No one has seen anything. Calm down.”

The blond took a few deep breaths, before wiping away a stray tear and smiling weakly.

“I … I think we can go back now”, he breathed. “Thank you so much, Lanyon. If it wasn't for you …”

The white-haired man just smiled back and told him to save it for later.

 

“Is Dr. Jekyll alright?”, Enfield asked in concern.

“Oh, don't worry your head about it, young man”, Lady Summers assured him with a saccharine smile. “Dr. Jekyll is perfectly fine. He just has something to discuss with Dr. Lanyon. From colleague to colleague, if you will.”

She and Mr. Utterson distracted the young man with pleasantries and conversation, until Dr. Lanyon returned with a slightly upset Dr. Jekyll.

“We just exchanged a few professional things”, Lanyon lied, “I'm afraid I ruffled my poor friend a little with what I had to say.”

Dr. Jekyll played along: “Yes, I really didn't need to hear about your latest patient's outbursts.”

“My apologies”, Lanyon chuckled.

Then he turned to the others: “I think we should leave. I'm starting to feel slightly cold.”

“So do I”, Utterson agreed. “We have to go now. Enfield, it was good to see you again. Goodbye.”

Mr. Enfield seemed disappointed, but smiled. “Oh, I see. It was nice to get to meet you, Milady and gentlemen. Have a nice day!”

Then they parted ways.

But right in front of the exit of the part, Lady Summers stopped in her tracks.

Lanyon noticed and looked at her worriedly. “What's the matter, Milady?”

Her eyes narrowed and she looked around. “I'm feeling watched”, she told them grimly.

The gentlemen exchanged uncomfortable glances.

“Let's leave”, Jekyll begged, “I don't want to be here any longer.”

Lanyon nodded. “Me neither, let's get the hell out of here.”

They left the place as quickly as was appropriate and decide to go over to Lady Summers' house.

 

As soon as the door closed behind them, they went into the parlour.

Lady Summers allowed Jekyll to lie down on one of the couches, which he accepted gratefully.

She rang for her Arabian day guard. As soon as he appeared, she gave him an order in Arabic.

Not only Utterson was confused, when the man went about to close the curtains.

“Close all the curtains on the ground floor”, she added in English, “I do not wish for anyone to look inside.”

“Yes, Milady”, he replied, bowed and saw himself out.

Now the four of them were alone. The only light came from the fireplace, filling the parlour with a dim, red glow.

Utterson looked at her confusedly. “Milady, what-?”

“Don't say a word”, she warned. “Don't say _anything_ about this. Don't question what I do.”

Her tone was sombre and grim.

She wouldn't talk, Utterson realised.

But something seemed to be frightening her and that in itself was unsettling.

Lady Luise F. W. Summers was the bravest woman – maybe even the bravest person – he knew.

In the entire twenty-one years he had known her, he had never seen her frightened before. Never. Whatever it was … it had to be something truly terrifying.

“Mr. Utterson, you realise that I can hear your pondering, right?”, she sighed in irritation.

“Forgive me, Milady”, he apologised, “I just can't help myself. I've never seen you frightened before.”

“I never had reason to be frightened, since I moved to England”, she returned tiredly.

So she was admitting to it.

That was one of the traits he admired about her. How honest she was with her own emotions.

But right now, the German Countess and Marchioness was sitting in her armchair, staring into the fire bleakly. Then she turned to them with a pained look in her eyes.

“I know that this unsettles you, gentlemen, but please trust me”, she implored softly. “Whatever happened in my past, is of no concern to you. Promise not to ask me about it.”

“I trust you, Milady”, Lanyon spoke up, “But I can't make that promise to you. Not when I see how much it pains you. I'm sorry.”

She gave him a bitter look, before continuing: “Listen, I know exactly what I'm doing-”

“Of course you do”, Jekyll piped up, “You always know what you're doing, Milady.”

Utterson found the genuine trust in his doctor's voice and eyes so endearing, that he had to smile.

And sure enough, it lightened the Lady's mood enough to charm a complacent smile onto her face.

“You're absolutely correct, Dr. Jekyll”, she agreed and straightened her posture. “I certainly do.”

The men chuckled.

Nothing like flattering a noblewoman's ego to brighten up the mood.

Jekyll sighed and lay back down. “We just can't catch a break, huh?”

“No”, Lady Summers agreed sadly. “I'm awfully sorry, gentlemen, especially to you, Dr. Jekyll. This really isn't your weekend.”

“I don't think it's anyone's weekend here”, Jekyll stated and closed his eyes. “God, I'm so tired.”

“Me too”, Utterson muttered and leaned back.

Lanyon looked at the clock. “No wonder, the last days have been stressful and it's already late.”

“You can stay here over night”, Lady Summers offered, “I have great issues with being alone right now. And most of my servants have the day off. An ageing widow would be grateful.”

“You know”, Jekyll replied, “I think I'm so tired I won't manage all the way home. And my body is still sore from yesterday night. I shall take up your offer.”

“So will I”, Utterson conceded. “My butler is on a holiday and I don't want to be alone either.”

“There is no way I will leave you alone now, Milady”, Lanyon completed.

She smiled gently. “Thank you, gentlemen.”

 

Meanwhile, not so far away from the Lady's villa, an ominous figure was sitting alone in their flat.

They were standing over their desk, speaking into a telephone.

“Yes, I have found test subject 37 again.”

“…”

“I'm absolutely sure. She hasn't aged a day.”

“…”

“She seems to be living off her abilities. And she was married at some point, because she's widowed now and carries a different name.”

“…”

“That will be difficult, but I'll see what I can do.”

“…”

“Of course. Oh, and one more thing.”

“…?”

“I believe I have found a new test subject for you.”

 


	28. Goodnight, love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff after all the angst and suspense.

That night the three gentlemen spent with the Lady.

Poole had responded to her telegram by sending Dr. Jekyll's nightgown, fresh clothes for the next day and a note, that he had postponed all appointments for Monday to later dates.

(At that Jekyll had to smile – he had such a considerate butler!)

When Utterson came to say goodnight, Jekyll couldn't help but ask him to sit with him for a while.

“I know you're tired too, but could you stay for a bit? I sleep easier with you here.”

Utterson smiled. “Of course, Henry.”

As soon as the lawyer sat as his bedside, Jekyll grabbed his hand out of instinct.

He knew that he was being clingy.

That perhaps he should tone it down.

But he wanted him near, needed him to be there after all the stress. For which the lawyer was in part responsible, just for the record. The black-haired man owed him the emotional support!

Utterson shifted closer to him and Jekyll used this to curl up in his arms and lap. The older man laughed and stroked his hair and back.

“I love you so much”, the blond sighed happily.

“I know, I know”, Utterson chuckled.

“ _Bleh. I'm going to throw up!”_

_Oh shut up, Hyde. You enjoy this just as much as I do._

“ _No, you shut up!”_

Jekyll just grinned into his love's shoulder. Happy, that he was being held by him and amused at his darker half's childishness.

“Harry?”

He moved his head and looked up to him. “Hm?”

Utterson was looking at him earnestly. “I just wanted to apologise for ruining your night.”

The blond frowned a bit. “Don't apologise to me, but to Hyde. When he comes out next time. He's still tired from yesterday night and shaken from the situation earlier.”

“Can he hear me?”, Utterson inquired.

_Edward?_

“ _If he wants to apologise, I'm all ears.”_

“He's listening”, Jekyll informed his lawyer.

“Mr. Hyde … I'm really sorry. I was quite a bother last night. Even though witnessing what you did to those men was horrifying, I had no right to not only ruin your night, but also nearly getting us all killed. I know that now. And I'm sorry.”

The Doctor heard nothing from Hyde. But he felt what the other wanted right now. Thus, he backed off and allowed his alter ego to take over.

 

Utterson was a bit surprised, when his cerulean blue eyes met bilious green ones.

Edward Hyde had taken over, but without transforming. Only the eyes and the dark rims around them gave him away.

“Apology accepted”, Hyde purred with Jekyll's voice. “But you will stay in here for the entire night. And I will not take no for an answer.”

The lawyer couldn't help but smile.

“That's fine with me, Mr. Hyde.”

Hyde's pleased smile seemed odd on Jekyll's face.

 

When the mistress of the house came to check on them, she came over a most peculiar sight:

Dr. Jekyll was curled up under the covers, dead asleep. And lying next to him, uncovered and his arm gently wrapped about him, slept Mr. Utterson.

Lady Summers took a spare blanket and tugged the snoozing lawyer in.

Fondly she smiled at the two men lying there in blissful slumber.

_Dumme Jungs.*_

 

 

* * *

 

 

_*Dumme Jungs - German for: Silly boys (which is funny, because they're both older than her)_


	29. Next mornings and other shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of fluff and comic relief.

When Lanyon woke up next morning, he decided to say good morning to the Lady first.

Her office was on the second floor. When he got there, he found her chattering vividly into her telephone, while her lady-in-waiting was typing furiously on a writing machine.

“What do you mean, you don't know?”, the Lady snapped into the receiver.

“…”

“Good grief, Alma! That one time your precognition is actually needed!”

“…!”

“You're right, you're right. I'm sorry.”

“…?”

“I'll explain it next time I visit you. Oh, and Alma – I do not wish for you to wander around alone anymore.”

“…”

“I know. But I'm seriously on edge right now. And whoever it is, if it's me they're targeting, they might target you as well. You know why.”

“…”

“Right. Thank you anyway. Take good care of yourself. Bye bye.”

She hung up the phone and sighed.

Then she noticed Lanyon standing in the door frame.

“Oh, good morning, Doctor! Did you sleep well?”

He shrugged. “I had no nightmares, so I guess it was fine.” He frowned at her. “If I may ask, who-”

“You may not”, she interrupted him.

The white-haired doctor sighed sadly.

The Lady was open with everything, except for her clients, her family and her other acquaintances. When it came to them, she was incredibly cagey. Of course he knew that she had her reasons, but sometimes he couldn't help but feel a bit bitter about it. If only she trusted him, at least about her relations! She knew everything about him, so why was he not allowed to-?

“Because if you knew everything about me, you'd never be able to look at me the same way”, Lady Summers cut him off. “And I really can't allow that to happen. I cherish what we have right now, Doctor.”

Heavy silence fell over them, wrapping the entire room into a melancholy atmosphere.

Then the lady-in-waiting broke it, by muttering something in Japanese.

Lanyon had no idea, what the younger woman had said, but it caused the older one to give her a sharp glare.

“One more remark like that, Aoimoku, and you will be grounded for a month.”

A string of Japanese words ensued and Lanyon decided to see himself out. There was no point in just standing there like an idiot, not understanding a word.

 

Lady Summers spend the entire morning making phone calls and sending telegrams, until her butler warned her, that she was straining the electricity and the cables would melt, if she didn't leave it at that for the day.

Whelp.

So she would have to go to the telegraph station later. She still had so many other calls to make.

Gratefully she nodded at her lady-in-waiting, who had filled a whole stack of paper with the messages that were to be sent. The Japanese was an absolute gem, when she wasn't playing pranks or trying to make her and Dr. Lanyon hook up.

 

Utterson woke up early.

At first he was a bit disorientated. Then he remembered, that he was in Lady Summers' home. He had stayed the night, just like his friends, at the Lady's request.

Slowly he opened his eyes, blinked and looked around.

Someone had tucked him in.

He decided, that he was too tired to wonder who.

However …

The lawyer blushed, when he noticed that someone was sleeping next to him.

Henry Jekyll was curled up under the covers, sleeping the sleep of the righteous. He looked so peaceful and serene, that the other's heart beat up to his throat.

_Oh dear, I really fell asleep here – OH MY GOD, I STILL HAVE MY ARM AROUND HIM???_

Utterson quickly let go and sat up.

Jekyll began to stir and awoke with a yawn. He sat up, rubbed his eyes and blinked.

Cute.

Then he noticed the black-haired man, blushed and smiled happily.

Even cuter.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning, Henry”, Utterson replied, “Have you slept well?”

“Like a rock”, Jekyll chuckled and stretched himself.

“How are you feeling”, Utterson asked in concern, remembering how worn out the blond had been the day before.

“My back still hurts a bit and my limbs are a bit sore. It will take a while until I have recovered from the cramps. But I'm definitely better rested than yesterday.”

The lawyer felt guilty. Jekyll was only in this state, because Hyde had overexerted himself to save _his_ skin. He was quite convinced, that it was a lot worse for Hyde than for Jekyll, tough as he may be.

“Don't think of that, Gabriel”, Jekyll cooed. “Let's forget it. It's in the past and can't be changed. Both Hyde and I forgive you. There is no need to feel guilty now.”

Of course, he knew that his Doctor was right. But he just couldn't help himself.

Suddenly the Doctor blinked. “Oh, Hyde is awake and wants out! Odd. Normally he doesn't like daytime at all. It hurts his eyes and makes him feel exposed.”

“Let him”, Utterson told him, “I want to say good morning to his face.”

Jekyll consented and lay back down.

As soon has he began so convulse, Utterson took his hand and looked away.

He just couldn't bear to see the transformation, even now. But he had got used to the feeling of Jekyll's hand morphing in his own.

Finally, he felt Hyde's lean, sinewy hand relax in his own. He felt a strange sort of comfort, when the small young man gripped his own hand firmly.

“Good morning, Mr. Hyde.”

Hyde looked up and him and grinned broadly. “Good morning”, he rasped in reply.

He removed his hand and remarked: “I didn't expect for Jekyll to actually let me out. Or for you to still be here, when I awake, for that matter.”

Utterson had to smile. “How are you feeling, Mr. Hyde?”

“Not quite dead yet”, Hyde laughed, “But my back is still pretty stiff.”

“Should Lanyon have a look at that?”

Hyde looked apprehensive. But he agreed.

 

Lanyon agreed to examine Hyde's back. He was surprised that Jekyll hadn't asked him to. But that was probably due to idiocy or pride.

The young man was visibly unwilling to strip his shirt, but did so without argument. Good boy.

The white-haired doctor was a bit disturbed by how thin Hyde really was. The young man was wiry, nothing but muscles, skin and bone.

“You need to eat more”, he informed him.

“So do you”, Hyde retorted, “You were much chubbier, when I first met you. When was the last time you ate? Eat more cake.”

 _I would, if I wasn't allergic to milk_ , Lanyon thought drily.

Perhaps he was feeling a bit petty, when he pressed his fingers onto the back muscles to see, which one was cramped. The younger man hissed in pain, but when Lanyon felt down his spine, his face contorted in pain.

“Ow …”

“Sorry”, the doctor apologised, “So it hurts the most here?”

Hyde nodded, when the older brushed over his sacral bone. “Damn, I feel old”, the brunette muttered, “Kinda like when Jekyll sits at his desk all day and then stands up. Only three times as painful.”

Lanyon laughed sardonically: “The joys of growing old, eh? Nice to know that he's suffering too.”

That made the other laugh as well.

Then he continued: “I have some good and some bad news, Mr. Hyde.”

“The bad news first”, Hyde requested.

Of course. Most people wanted to hear the bad news first.

“The bad news is that you won't be able to do any sportive activities for a while. You know, like the stuff you usually do.”

“Obviously”, Hyde muttered bitterly.

Lanyon pitied him a little. Of course he didn't condone the terrible things the young man did. But he understood how it felt to not be able to do what you liked.

So he continued: “The good news is that your back bones don't seem to be actually damaged, at least not permanently. Let it rest a little and you should be able to move around painlessly in two weeks at latest. Light gymnastic exercises and massaging sessions should do the trick. Same for your cramped muscles.”

Hyde sighed in relief. “Oh thank you! I actually feared I would be crippled permanently!”

“It won't”, Lanyon pacified him, “Just dial it back for the next two weeks.”

“… Fine.”

“You're going to suffer though. Through the massages I mean. Considering just how tense your entire back is. No wonder after what you did.”

The brunette turned his head a bit to glare at him. “You can thank Mr. Utterson for that.”

“I already chewed him out. And your creator. You're idiots, all three of you.”

Hyde's face darkened. “Don't blame me, for Devil's sake! I wouldn't have had to do this, if he hadn't followed me in the first place! He's lucky that Jekyll loves him, or I would have left him there.”

At that, Lanyon smirked. “Was that really the only reason you saved him? Or or was it perhaps, because you're-”

“Don't. Say. Another. Word”, Hyde growled menacingly.

Lanyon knew better than to keep prodding. If the boy didn't want to admit to his own attachment, then that was his problem. Whatever helped him sleep at night.

But still the doctor didn't fail to notice the other's faint blush.

A blush that definitely didn't come from agitation.

 

“By the way, how did you do it anyway? Overpower almost a dozen men and then carry a man twice your size across a roof in the middle of a rainstorm, I mean. That's insane.”

“Bold of you to assume that anything about me is sane.”

“Fair point, but seriously.”

“Well, I just can do that. I don't know why I'm so inhumanly strong. But you know what they say: 'If you got it, flaunt it'.”

“… Of course. You would. Damn, you and Jekyll are so much alike, it's not even funny.”

“Hastie Lanyon, I warn you!"


	30. Warnings and paranoia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alma Donovan gets introduced and Lady Summers needs a hug.

After three weeks of physical therapy Hyde was perfectly fit again.

He decided to celebrate this the way he always did on Saturday nights. Tonight he had to avoid his usual pub though. He had been banned, unsurprisingly. But the brothel he usually visited had a bar as well, so why the hell not?

It was a fun night and for once he didn't get into any fights. Maybe people had heard of the beating he had dished out last time. Word did get around fast, after all.

But he had promised Jekyll not to get completely up the pole tonight and so he left it at a few drinks.

When he went home, he was therefore just a bit tipsy, not really drunk.

He was close to his Soho flat, when someone called out to him.

“Pssst!”

Hyde looked to the right. Someone emerged from the shadows of a narrow side street into the light.

A tall, thin working class boy – oh wait. That wasn't a boy. Hyde saw the flaming red pony tail and delicate features and realised that the stranger was a girl in man's clothes.

“Are you Mr. Edward Hyde?”, she asked. Her voice was smoky and neutral.

His alarm bells rang. How did she know him?!

“Depends”, he answered suspiciously, “Who is asking?”

The stranger shrugged nonchalantly. “Just a working class boy who wants to do him a favour. Now drop it, I know you're the man.”

“And I know that you're not a boy”, Hyde retorted, “You're a girl in drag. And since you know me for some reason, I would like to know you and your reason to address me.”

She laughed and threw her arms up in defeat. “You have me there. Alma Donovan, at your service. You're my half-sister's client.”

_What?!_

“Don't worry, she didn't tell me. I just know stuff like that.”

Was that so? He wondered, if she could read his mind too.

“But I digress. I'm here to warn you.”

“Really now?”, Hyde queried. “What do you have to say?”

“Just this. Don't come here next Friday night. For if you do, something terrible will happen.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

But she didn't explain herself. Instead she just said that she had to leave and vanished back into the shadows.

Hyde stayed behind, completely lost. Then he remembered, that he had been going home and finished his walk.

“Did you hear that, Jekyll?”, he asked, as soon as he was alone.

Jekyll appeared in the nearby mirror. _“Yes.”_

“Could you make any sense of that?”

The blond lifted an eyebrow. _“I thought it was pretty clear. Don't go to Soho next Friday night.”_

“Yes, but why?! What will happen, if I don't?! And how would she know?”

Jekyll considered. _“I don't know either. But didn't she imply that Lady Summers is her half-sister? Perhaps she also has supernatural abilities, just of another nature. We should ask the Lady.”_

Hyde scoffed: “Do you seriously think she will tell us anything?”

“ _She will have no other choice, now that we know she has a half-sister. I'm pretty sure that her lady-in-waiting is so too. They all have her eyes, but there is no way they can be her daughters.”_

Alright. He'd do it. Because seriously. He needed to know.

 

Lady Summers was displeased, when Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde confronted her about their encounter the previous night.

Good grief, why couldn't Alma hold her mouth about it for once?! She could see, why the red-head had done it; to lessen Mr. Hyde's suspicions. But still!

Just as Dr. Jekyll had predicted, she now had no other choice than explain herself.

“Before I tell you, I want to remind you of the mutual silence article in our contract. Nothing I'm about to tell you four is to leave this room.”

Four, because Dr. Lanyon and Mr. Utterson were here as well. They already knew, of course. They had known her for a long time after all.

“Fine, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It's true, the young girl you encountered is my half-sister. My youngest, to be more specific. She's nineteen years old. And you're also right about Aoimoku. She's my youngest half-sister and almost thirty-one. That's why she calls me 'onee-san'. It means older sister, in a respectful manner. Almost all of my servants are my half-siblings, actually.”

“But that's quite an age gap, especially for siblings”, Dr. Jekyll objected. “And they all have different nationalities. How is that possible?”

She huffed: “Let's just say, my father was quite a ladies' man. And he had a weakness for the exotic. Remember, that he and I travelled around the world several times. That's why so many of them have supernatural powers, like I do. They just don't flaunt it like I do. That's why you never saw any of it.”

“But if they're your younger siblings, why do you employ them as your servants?”, Dr. Jekyll asked.

She shrugged: “I'm my father's only legitimate child. Thus I'm the mistress either way. At first I only took them in, because it was my father's last wish. But you must know, that in their home countries children born out of wedlock have a much harder life than here. They are ostracised. And if they have supernatural abilities, it gets even worse. Most of my siblings come from very religious and superstitious cultures. By taking them in, I became their protector and provider. And they appreciate it, believe me. But as much as I love them, I don't tolerate free loaders. They work for me partly out of gratitude and partly, because I expect them to.”

She bent forward.

“Alright. Now that I've told you, you might want to tell me more about that encounter with my youngest.”

Jekyll shrugged. “It wasn't much. She just emerged from the shadows, like in some Gothic horror novel. Then she inquired for Hyde's name, they had a short banter concerning her cross-dressing-”

“Of course”, she muttered, “She always walks around in drag, when she leaves Whitechapel. Go on.”

“Then she warned us not to go to Soho next Friday, or something terrible would happen. Hyde is confused about what it means.”

At that she snorted. What was there not to understand?!

“You and I both know the answer, Doctor: exactly what it means. Don't risk your health or life on that Friday night by going there anyway. Take her advice seriously, you two. Alma's prophecies are never wrong.”

Dr. Jekyll was visibly curious. “She can predict the future?”

The Lady nodded. “Yes. Quite accurately so, as I just stated. Her visions strike her at random, but they are never wrong.”

“She must make a lot of money with her predictions”, he mused.

But the Lady shook her head, recalling her sister's favourite pastime of … attacking men she didn't like with a knife. And mutilating them, if she got the chance.

“Not really. No one takes her predictions seriously, so she lives off my allowance and by winning bets. The problem is that my sister is … a bit off her hat, so to say. She and Mr. Hyde are very much alike. Actually, I'm surprised that she didn't assault you.”

She could hear the awkward sounds inside the Doctor's head and saw the other men look at each other uncomfortably.

That sort of softened her own embarrassment.

 

Later, after they were gone, she went up to her office to give her sister another phone call.

The young woman called her, before she could even dial the number. As often was the case.

“Hello, Luise”, a smoky voice with a light Irish accent said.

“Hello, Alma”, the German replied, “We need to speak about you telling my clients that you're my sister.”

“I'm sorry, Luise, but you know why I did it.”

“Of course I do, but do you know how embarrassing that was? To have to talk about my- _our_ father's escapades?!”

“Sorryyyy! Not doing it again, cross my heart.”

“Uhuh. Anyway, do you think they will listen to your prophecy?”

A snort at the end of the line. “Please! You're the only one who takes my words seriously! They will ignore and forget my predictions, just like everyone else.”

“Why did you warn him anyway? You know what kind of man he is.”

For a while the voice on the other line was quiet.

Then she replied: “He will soon learn his lesson. Just because he won't heed my warning. To be honest, that makes it just the sweeter. Afterwards, he'll remember my warning. And he'll curse himself for not listening to me.”

“Ah. Insult to injury”, Lady Summers muttered. “And if I may ask, what exactly will happen?”

“That”, the younger voice spoke, “Is a question I can't answer. But you're clever, big sister. Figure it out.”

The Countess huffed. Sometimes her youngest sister could be rather vague in her predictions and she hated it. Alma's visions were detailed and sharp, she knew that. And still that red-haired bedlam girl refused to be clear at times.

Oh well. She would figure it out.

In the meantime she would keep an eye out for whoever had to be watching her.

Speaking of which …

There it was again.

The feeling of being watched.

But that was impossible. Her study was on the second floor and her table not visible from the outside.

Lady Summers slipped a hand under a fold of her own dress and revealed a rifle.

An M71/84*, a Christmas gift from Otto von Bismarck (ah, good old Bismarck!).

Excellent craftsmanship.

Tried and trusted.

And Lady Luise F. W. Summers was as good with firearms as she was with the blade.

However, when she stepped to the window, opened it and looked outside, she couldn't see anyone.

But instead of relaxing, she became even more nervous. Cavendish Square had many hiding opportunities in the dark.

She ducked behind the curtain and pointed her rifle to wherever someone might be.

The feeling didn't go away.

But she couldn't hear anyone's thoughts.

Perhaps the stalker was out of range.

Deciding that there was no use in hiding behind the window all night, she fired a warning shot into the direction of the trees.

Just for good measure.

And now the feeling finally went away.

Lady Summers closed the window and curtains and slumped against the wall in relief.

At the same time her heart was burning with bitter hatred.

Would she _never_ find peace?!

 

 

* * *

 

 

_* The M71/84 was a breechloading rifle that was developed 1884 and adopted by the German military._


	31. A date with a little demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Hyde's turn to take Utterson on a date. The result is … oddly romantic.

Utterson wasn't surprised, when Hyde came to him with a twig of hawthorn and a nutmeg geranium.

“Since Jekyll got to have a rendezvous with you, I think it's only fair that I should have the same pleasure”, he justified his floral proposal.

He said it with that seductive purr, which made the lawyer blush intensely.

But he had his doubts.

Hyde seemed to notice and frowned. “What? Does the prospect of going out with me repulse you?”

Awkwardly, the lawyer scratched his head. “Oh no! It's just … is there something we could do, that we both enjoy? If we do something I like, you will be bored. If we do one of your usual activities, I will be uncomfortable.”

The brunette laughed: “Oh, I know! But don't worry, good man. I have got a plan. And I know you will enjoy it just as much as I will.”

The young man seemed to be very sure of himself. Then again, he was Jekyll's alter ego. Surely, he knew him just as well.

“Alright. When and where?”

Hyde smirked triumphantly.

 

Utterson couldn't believe that he was here again.

Standing in front of the door to Jekyll's old lab, waiting for Edward Hyde to arrive.

Oh well.

The lawyer wasn't dressed up like on his date with Jekyll. Hyde had let him known that they wouldn't do anything formal. That had made the black-haired man suspicious, but the brunette had promised him that they wouldn't go anywhere shady.

It was already eight pm. Pretty late, which confused the lawyer a bit. What could they possibly do at this time that wasn't shady and didn't bore Hyde at the same time?

Finally the door opened and Hyde emerged from the inside, wearing a wool coat and carrying a bag under his arm. He grinned from ear to ear at the sight of the lawyer waiting for him.

They said their good evenings, then Hyde dragged the taller man along and ran into the street.

The black-haired man gaped, when a coach came around the corner, with a very familiar driver on the seat.

“How did you persuade the Lady to lend you her coach?!”, he asked incredulously.

Hyde just grinned smugly and didn't answer.

“I already know where it's going”, Mr. O'Connor told Hyde, who nodded in satisfaction.

He let Utterson get in first, which was … certainly gentlemanly of him?

The ride wasn't that long.

The lawyer almost burst into laughter, when he got out of the coach to find that they had stopped at Hyde Park of all places.

_Looks like we're at his true natural habitat …_

The eponymous brunette glared at him. “If you're about to make one of your bad puns, spare me.”

He apologised, caught red-handed and followed the other into the park.

What did Hyde want here?

It was around half past eight, so they would have about 3½ hours until the park closed at midnight. And it was a cold winter night.

There were little to no people here and only the lambs and the moonlight illuminated the park.

It had snowed in the last three days and so everything was covered in white.

A beautiful sight, he had to admit.

But surely that wasn't something that could impress Edward Hyde, was it?

Before he could ponder further, the young man lead him to one of the ponds and pulled him towards a bench.

Hyde brushed some of the snow off the bench, then pushed the lawyer onto it.

“Mr. Hyde, what-?”

“Shush! Just look up to the sky and enjoy the view!”

So Utterson did just that. To his surprise, the sky was clear and full of stars. The moon was full and illuminated the frozen pond and the snow covered trees around it. The snow and ice seemed to sparkle in the moonlight and the sight was just …

“Wow!!!”

“Pretty, isn't it?”, Hyde asked and beamed at him from the side. He looked like a marvelling child and that looked so endearing, that the lawyer's heart melted like butter.

“It's marvellous”, he breathed, “I've never seen anything like it!”

Hyde laughed: “It was always there, Mr. Utterson! You just didn't bother to stop and take a closer look!”

Utterson chuckled. “No, I suppose I didn't.”

They fell silent and took the magnificent sight in.

The lawyer thought that, if he had any artistic or poetic talent (which he didn't), he would have turned this moment into a work of art.

“You know”, he said to Hyde, “This is a scenery I would dance in – if I could actually dance”, he added awkwardly.

The smaller man looked at him incredulously. “You can't dance?!” Then he cackled: “You're telling me you went through boarding school, college and university, without learning how to dance?!”

Utterson had to grin: “Believe it or not, yes. I wasn't comfortable with the thought of dancing with someone back then, so I did everything to avoid dancing lessons. It came back to bite me later, of course. So I don't go to events, where I would have to dance.”

Hyde grinned back. “I'll teach you how to dance, then. Starting right now.”

“He-here?! In the park?! In the late evening?!”

“Why, you said that this is a scenery you would dance in, didn't you? Now get up!”

And so it came that a flustered Gabriel John Utterson had his first actual dancing lesson in a park, with Edward Hyde of all people, next to a frozen pond.

He never could have imagined, that the little rogue would give him the most romantic evening of his life?

Eventually they had to stop and leave. Both of them were cold, it was close to midnight and the park would close soon.

Lady Summers' coachman, who seemed to have waited the entire time (poor bloke), drove them away and dropped them off at the back door of Jekyll's house.

After the hansom had left, the atmosphere suddenly became tense between the two men.

“So …”, Utterson spoke awkwardly, “Thank you for the evening, Mr. Hyde. I really enjoyed it.”

Hyde grinned broadly.

“Heh. I knew you'd like it”, he bragged, but his cheeks flushed a little. Hardly visible in the pale moonlight, but there. Together with his grin it looked kind of adorable. In a goofy way.

That was so unlike him, that Utterson had to take a double take. He just about managed to, before the light blush vanished and Hyde was back to his ghostly pale self.

“You certainly did”, he admitted and blushed. “I … you really took me by surprise. It was … quiet, soothing and beautiful. I never would have expected that from you.”

The brunette giggled: “Well, I'm full of surprises, good man! I told you I would find something we both would enjoy!”

suddenly a particularly cold gust of wind blew into the yard and Hyde shuddered from the cold. He grinned and turned to the back door.

“Well, it's time to go to inside and into a warm bed. For you too. We don't want you to catch a cold, do we? Good night, Mr. Utterson.”

“Wait!”

Hyde turned back to him. “Hm?”

The lawyer blushed harder. “I … I just wanted to say …” But words failed him.

The younger looked at him expectantly. “Well?”

For a few minutes Utterson could only stutter and Hyde was getting visibly impatient.

Finally the black-haired lawyer resorted to action rather than words.

He took one of Hyde's gloved hands and kissed it without further ado.

“Thank you for the wonderful evening, Edward”, he said shyly.

Now it was Hyde's turn to blush and stutter.

Then finally, he stammered a hasty goodbye and ran inside, slamming the door shut behind him.

Utterson remained standing there for a moment, stunned.

Then he smiled and went back home.

Knowing that something magical had happened again.

 

Hyde darted into the old lab, threw his coat and scarf away and slumped down a wall.

His head was a mess and he didn't like it. There were so many questions!

Why had the lawyer kissed his hand?

Why had he felt the way he had, when they had sat at the pond together, watching the stars?

Why had his heart raced, when they had danced?

Why had Utterson smiled at him like that and why had he liked it?

Why was he still blushing and why was his heart still beating up to his throat?!

All these questions were more than Hyde's mind could handle.

“Shit”, he groaned and ruffled his hair.

After a while, he had calmed down a bit and his face had turned back to its original colour. But he was still struggling with an inner turmoil.

He hated the flood of emotion he was suddenly bombarded with.

He was Edward Hyde, for Devil's sake! He was vicious, cold, calculating and selfish to the core. He didn't blush and get flustered like a lovesick schoolboy! Where the hell did all these new feelings come from?!

And why did he love and hate it at the same time?!

Hyde was just hopelessly lost and confused.

He loathed the mess this evening had turned him into.

But there was something he loved about this. He didn't know why, but there was a feeling of joy inside him.

Hyde never felt real joy. The sadistic thrill of hurting someone, the rush of doing something dangerous or risky, sure.

But not this kind of joy.

He felt warm on the inside and oddly at peace.

This was more real than anything he had ever felt and it was so … invigorating!

It was almost like happiness!

Somehow this made him smile.

Then he remembered something and his cheeks turned pink again.

_Edward … he called me Edward._


	32. Sympathy and tenderness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the harrowing events of "Of cruelty and kindness", Hyde gets help.

Hyde had no bloody clue, how he'd managed to drag himself all the way home, being in the agony he was. But somehow he had.

When he finally entered Jekyll's house, he slammed the back door shut after himself and fell to his knees from exhaustion and pain.

“Jekyll?”, he called out hoarsely, “Can you hear me?”

“ _I can hear you”,_ his creator's voice answered.

His reflection in the mirror morphed into that of Jekyll, who stepped out of the mirror with a sombre expression.

Hyde smiled bitterly. “What's with that face, Doctor? You look as if you actually feel bad for me!”

“ _I do, Hyde”_ , the older whispered gently, _“Believe it or not, I feel almost as horrible about it as you do.”_

The brunette laughed: “It's kind of funny. I'm depraved to the core, but I've never felt so impure and defiled in my entire life.”

“ _Me neither”_ , Jekyll agreed sadly, _“After all, we're in the same boat. I … I came out as a shadow, when I sensed that you weren't feeling well. I saw everything … oh, Edward, it was so awful!”_

Hyde looked at him in surprise. “Why the hell are you crying?!”

“ _No, the real question is, why are you not?”_

The smaller man ground his teeth. “Crying is for the weak.”

The blond shook his head. _“Hyde, it's not like you to pretend. You don't have to be strong. Not now, not here, not in front of me. It's okay to hurt. It's okay to cry.”_

Hyde tried not to, he really did.

But it was impossible.

He was hurting in every way, humiliated, angry, upset and just wanted it to stop.

He began to sob.

Jekyll took him in his arms and they both wept.

 

It was late afternoon, when their crying subsided and Hyde sat on the floor alone, desperate for shelter and comfort.

By this time Jekyll was no longer corporeal. He had kept that form up as long as he could, but it had taken too much energy and he'd been forced to return into Hyde's head.

“He-Henry”, he croaked, “E-everything hurts … what do I do?”

“ _You need medical attention”_ , Jekyll answered tiredly, _“I can't help you. So you have only one option.”_

Hyde's eyes widened in horror. “Are you serious?!”

“ _Yes.”_

“But … Lanyon … he will …”

“ _He won't judge. Not you. It wasn't your fault.”_

Jekyll sounded so confident, that he gave in.

 

Lanyon had just seen off the last patient, when his butler informed him, that a visitor was waiting in the parlour.

The hoary doctor frowned. “A visitor without notice?”

“The young man probably has a good reason for that”, the butler replied, “He looks absolutely awful.”

That got his attention. He went to the parlour hoping, that it wasn't who he feared it was.

Alas, he was disappointed, when he came in and found Edward Hyde waiting.

He wanted to make a snarky remark, but then he saw the brunette's state:

Hyde was even more pallid than usual, his eyes more sunken in, the rims around them darker, as if he hadn't slept in days. There was a nasty bruise on his forehead (probably at least a day old and provisionally nursed). His eyes were red and puffy, he must have been crying. He was supporting himself on his walking cane, but had visible trouble to keep himself upright.

He looked up, saw him and rasped: “I need medical attention.”

It sounded pathetic. Broken.

And Lanyon hated it.

If Hyde was suffering, Jekyll had to be as well.

But he didn't show what he was thinking.

“Very well”, he said calmly, “But perhaps you should sit down-”

“I can't”, Hyde interrupted him quietly. “I can't. It hurts way too much to sit.”

A sense of foreboding crept into the doctor's heart.

“… That answers the question of where the problem is, I suppose. Can you lay on your stomach?”, he asked, pointing to the cot in the corner. The younger one nodded.

“You're obviously tired”, Lanyon continued, “Perhaps you want to rest first. And you look dehydrated. Do you want some tea?”

The brunette smiled gratefully and nodded.

Lanyon helped him over, covered him with a blanket and went to give the orders and fetch his medical equipment. But first, he placed a bucket next to Hyde's head – he did look quite sick.

When he came back, the poor boy was hurling. Within a second, he was by his side with a pot of water and gently rubbing his back.

“Oh dear”, he mumbled, “Mr. Hyde, what's the matter? What happened to you?”

Hyde laughed hoarsely: “I can't answer that question without making it sound like a horror tale.”

Alright, now the sense of foreboding was festering.

 _Oh my god, please don't let it be what I think it is, please, please, please_ , he prayed desperately.

He handed the younger man the pot of water. “Some water, for your throat”, he told him and added uncomfortably, “Perhaps we should wait until your stomach has settled down-”

“No”, Hyde choked, “I want to get it over with as soon as possible.”

Lanyon sighed sadly. “As you wish. But you'll have to strip of your inexpressibles, I'm afraid.”

The brunette nodded hesitantly. Lanyon helped him to stand up and offered to help, but Hyde refused vehemently.

The white-haired doctor looked away out of decency and tried not to show his pity, as the other obviously struggled to do as asked of him.

Finally Hyde spoke up: “I'm ready. But Dr. Lanyon, before we get to it: I must ask, that you will remain professional and do your work and nothing more.”

Lanyon turned back to him and nodded solemnly. “Of course, Mr. Hyde. Now, lie back down and spread your legs, please*. I know it's a compromising position, but-”

“I know, I know!”, the brunette snapped. “Just get it over with!”

He spread his legs like a female patient. The young man was shaking like a leaf and his eyes were wide with fear. As if he was trying his best to have faith in the other, but was too frightened and upset to do so.

 _He only allows me to look at it, because Jekyll trusts me_ , Lanyon realised.

The doctor began to examine the other's lower body, but his mismatched eyes widened in horror, when he saw the injuries that caused the brunette so much pain.

“Oh my God …”, he breathed. “Jesus Christ!”

“Jesus Christ doesn't care”, Hyde commented coldly.

Lanyon ignored the blaspheme remark.

He had to focus on swallowing his rage.

Hyde wasn't Jekyll, but he was a part of him. Hurting him meant hurting Jekyll too.

And that made the hoary man's blood boil.

Someone had dared to lay hand on his best friend! Had touched and defiled him in the worst possible way! He would fucking kill him! He would find the bastard, who had done this and do the most gruesome things to him that he could think of!

Hyde's voice tore him back to the moment. “You're not going to make me explain what happened, are you?”

It was an anxious question, a plea.

Lanyon shook his head. “You don't need to, Mr. Hyde. It's obvious.”

He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down.

“You don't happen to know the guy who did this, do you?”

The patient shook his head. “No. The one I suspect is a complete stranger. I don't know who it was.”

“Dammit”, Lanyon grumbled. “Because I really want to kill him. Shove the barrel of my gun up his arse and pull the trigger.”

“I'd love to see that”, Hyde chuckled weakly, “And hear his screams of agony, as he dies a slow and painful death.”

Lanyon nodded grimly and took another deep breath.

“I'm going to tend to your injuries now”, he told the smaller man. “Sadly I've run out of chloroform, so this will hurt a lot.”

The other nodded. “I know. You'll have to fix me to the cot. I don't think I'll be able to hold still the entire time.”

Lanyon heeded the advice and then went to work.

The procedure was painful for both of them.

For Hyde obviously, for Lanyon, because he couldn't bear to see the other in so much pain.

Not only because this was Jekyll suffering (well, specifically his darker half, but it counted!), but also because Edward Hyde was young, slender and very small. The culprit probably had thought that the brunette was an underage Mary Ann**, which made this whole thing even sicker.

Finally the doctor was finished with his work, leaving the patient drained, but relieved. Lanyon untied him and handed him his pants.

“I'm afraid, this is all I can do”, Lanyon told him apologetically, “Also, you shouldn't eat any solid food for the next days. This needs to heal.”

“Great”, Hyde grumbled, “More soup.”

The older man continued: “Good news is, once the wounds have healed sufficiently, you will be fine. No permanent physical damage.”

“Lucky me”, the younger deadpanned.

“I know it's no comfort.”

“It's not.”

Lanyon hated how helpless he was in this situation.

He had been able to patch up the physical injuries, but never would he be able to mend the wounds left on Jekyll's and Hyde's soul. Even if the wounds healed, the scars would never fade.

Knowing that was unbearable.

“Don't make that face, Doctor”, Hyde said, “You've done all you could. And that was more than enough. I will be fine.”

“Will you?”, queried Lanyon. “Mr. Hyde, stop pretending that you're not hurting on the inside – the _other_ inside”, he added poignantly, when the brunette lifted an eyebrow.

“You're forgetting, that I have known you – that is, Jekyll – for forty years. Your act doesn't fool me.”

He opened his arms. “Need a hug?”

Hyde bit his lip. His acid green eyes lost a bit of their brightness and specks of brown appeared. Jekyll was breaking through his defences, Lanyon realised.

Then the younger nodded silently.

 

Hyde didn't know how long they had been sitting in this weird position, but eventually he calmed down. Somehow he was able to think clearly now and his emotions were becoming less overwhelming.

For someone who was so easy to unnerve, Lanyon sure had a stabilising aura of reliability to himself.

_But then again, this is why Jekyll clung to him for fifteen years, isn't it? Why he loved and needed him so much? Because he made him feel sane?_

“Thank you, Lanyon”, he whispered finally.

The hoary doctor smiled. “You're welcome.”

“What time is it?”, he inquired.

Lanyon checked his watch. “It's half past nine.”

Huh. Was it really that late?

The older man handed him his walking cane. “Honestly, I think my work is done so far. Right now, you don't need me any longer.”

Hyde blinked in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Lanyon looked at him seriously. “I gave you medical attention, but you also need someone to help you get the justice you deserve. Mr. Hyde, what you need now is a lawyer.”

Oh.

Right.

A lawyer.

“Shall I call you a cab to Utterson's place?”

Hyde shook his head.

The other frowned. “It's pouring outside and you're still in pain. You shouldn't-”

“I know”, the brunette muttered, “But I walked all the way here from Jekyll's home. I'll manage.”

Lanyon shook his head and gave up. “Well, suit yourself. You two are goddamn stubborn, trying to dissuade you would be pointless.”

“Exactly”, Hyde agreed. “I'll be on my way, then. Thank you for the medical attention. Oh, and Dr. Lanyon?”

“Hm?”

Hyde regarded him with genuine gratitude and said: “You're a good fellow and a wonderful friend. Jekyll is lucky to have you.”

At first, Lanyon looked shocked. Then he smiled lopsidedly.

“ _You_ are lucky to have me.”

He laughed throatily. “Yes, I guess I am.”

Then he left.

 

Utterson was stacking away the last of his paper work, when he heard a knock from the door.

Looking through the spy hole, he couldn't see anything, so he opened the door to check.

To his surprise, it was none other than Edward Hyde standing in front of him. He was completely drenched, shaking like a leaf and supporting himself on his walking stick.

“H-hey”, the wet man stammered.

“Edward! My god, you're soaked! What were you doing outside in this weather?! Get out of these wet clothes, I'll find you a towel and something dry.”

The lawyer pushed him into the living room, near the fireplace and brought him some tea.

When he came back with a nightgown, morning coat and three towels in his arms, Hyde had peeled out of most of his clothes and was hiding behind the armchair like a frightened animal.

This was so very wrong … he felt his heart twist painfully.

But Utterson saved the questions for later and helped the young man dry up and put on the dry clothes. The poor man was still shivering, so he shooed him into his own bed.

“Good grief, out there in this weather at this hour! What happened? You're a mess!”

“Yes”, Hyde replied softly and lay down carefully. “A mess …”

His lip was quivering.

His voice was hoarse and shaking.

His eyes were slightly damp.

He was on the verge of tears, Utterson realised and his heart twisted even further.

“Wait a bit”, he told the brunette gently, “I'll get you some more tea-”

“No!”, the smaller cried suddenly, startling him. “Don't … don't go … I … I …”

The lawyer sat at the edge of the bed. “I'm not going anywhere. But Edward, please tell me what happened.”

“Don't worry”, Hyde muttered, “That's what I came for.”

Then he slowly sat back up. “Oh! I can sit again!”, he remarked, “I must thank Lanyon tomorrow, he did a good job.”

Utterson began to fret. Couldn't the other just tell him already what the matter was?!

But then Hyde began to do exactly that: “It won't be pretty, Gabriel, so brace yourself.

It was last Friday night, I was at the pub to get up the knocker – you know, the usual. Something was different this time, though. But this time there was this stranger, who asked to sit with me. That in itself was weird – no one ever wants to sit with me – so I got suspicious, but I didn't say anything about it. Then my first shot came and I must have been distracted for a moment, I don't remember. Anyway, I was already dizzy after half a glass, so it must have been spiked. So I didn't drink the rest, paid for it and left. But it was pretty difficult to get forward in the darkness and the rain – I don't even know, if I was walking into the right direction. At some point I had to lean against a wall, I think. Then, suddenly I heard a voice behind me and someone threw me against the wall several times. Of course that and the drug made me pass out.

The next thing I remember is waking up today morning, in the flat of one of the girls I frequent. My entire body was hurting like hell, especially my arse and back. She told me what had happened, but it wouldn't have been hard to guess anyway.

Jekyll said that he saw what happened, because he was out in his shadow form. He tried to keep the memories from me, but he isn't as good at it as I am. They came to me on the way here. Fun times. Seeing pictures in my head, of how that bastard defiled my entire body. Then he left me to die, unconscious and covered in blood and filth.”

He hugged himself and looked away, while the lawyer stared at him in horror and disbelief.

When it all sank in, Utterson felt his heart shatter into a million pieces.

“You don't believe me, do you?”, Hyde asked in a hushed, _broken_ voice. “Or if you do … you're disgusted with us, aren't you? With me and Jekyll? Because we allowed someone to do this to-?”

“Shhhh”, the lawyer whispered. “Edward … please look at me.”

When the young man turned his head to look at him, his eyes were brimming with tears.

“Of course I believe you. Why would I not? And I'm not disgusted – not with you two anyway. Just the piece of filth, who did this to you.”

The thought was sickening.

Someone touching Hyde – and therefore Jekyll – like that.

And why the hell was Hyde chuckling?!

“I deserved it. It's not like I was any better. And at least something good came out of it”, he remarked.

The older man frowned. “What good could possibly come out of such a thing?!”

“It taught me to respect women and that a no is a no. Don't give me that look, Mr. Utterson”, he added coolly, when the lawyer frowned. “Did you really believe that _I_ was respectful or even _kind_ to the whores I screwed? Or that I cared, whether they wanted to serve me or not?”

The black-haired man sighed: “No. I'm just disappointed, that Henry Jekyll is a rapist.”

Hyde lifted an eyebrow. “You're surprisingly calm about it. We expected you to freak out.”

“There is nothing I can do about it now. Anything else I should know?”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, neither of us ever touched anyone younger than eighteen. That's the minimum age for Jekyll. My partners must be older than twenty.”

Utterson tilted his head. “To be honest, that _does_ make me feel better. But back to the matter at hand; the culprit. Did you know him, or if not, do you remember what he looked like?”

“I didn't know him, but I do remember his appearance. A bit taller and bulkier than you. Two, three inches, maybe. Broad shoulders, wild red hair and freckles. Irish accent, a very deep voice-”

Suddenly Hyde broke off. His green eyes widened, as if in revelation.

“Edward?”, the lawyer asked carefully.

“That man”, the younger whispered. “It was the same as the one who shot me!”

His face twisted with anger and he jumped up.

“It was him! I knew he was familiar! How did I not recognise him?! That bastard! I should have killed him right on the-!”

Utterson pressed his hands onto the other's shoulders and pushed him back into a sitting position.

“Edward, I know that you're angry, but you need to calm down. Don't play into his hands by becoming his murderer. He will face justice, I give you my word. But you have to keep it together.”

“Keep it together!”, Hyde gasped out angrily, “I let him fucking drug and violate me and now I'm-”

“You didn't _let_ him do _anything_ ”, Utterson grimly cut him off. “This wasn't your fault, Edward. It was his fault for being such a perverse individual. I bet he thought you were an underage rent boy or a Mary Ann. You do look a bit like it at first glance.”

“Gee, thanks a lot!”, the younger retorted sarcastically. “That totally wouldn't hurt my pride, if I had any to begin with!”

The lawyer cringed. “Forgive me. I didn't mean to add insult to injury.”

He stood up. “Lie back down, alright? I will get you more tea and something to eat.”

Hyde smiled lopsidedly. “Well, I haven't eaten in two days, so that would be appreciated.”

Utterson couldn't help but smile. “I'll see what I have. Oh, and one more question!”

“Hm?”

“The woman, who saved you. Did you repay her somehow?”

The brunette nodded. “Yes, actually. With 200 £ and a promise to never hurt her again. After all, she did save my life and patched me up as best as she could.”

Utterson nodded in approval.

Two hundred Pounds were a lot of money, but considering what had happened, Jekyll would surely forgive his other half.

He went down to the kitchen, cut a few pomegranates (Lady Summers had given him some from her own greenhouse) and went back up.

Hyde's mood brightened immediately, when he saw the bowl full of pomegranate seeds. His face looked adorable like that, but this was not a good time to think further on it.

“I'm afraid that's all I have right now, since it's Sunday night. Personally, I'm not a fan of them”, Utterson said and gave him the bowl. “But I thought just in case you come here, I might as well get something you like. My favourite food always cheers me u– aaand you inhaled them”, he ended lamely, when the brunette devoured the seeds within less than ten seconds.

“What? I told you I was hungry”, Hyde stated.

 _Well, at least he didn't get anything onto my nightgown_ , the lawyer thought drily and handed him a handkerchief.

“Obviously. How are you feeling now?”

Hyde's face fell again and he shook his head.

“It's ironic, really. I feel so tainted and worthless”, he croaked. “I, Edward Hyde, who is but the embodiment of everything that taints Henry Jekyll. I'm not even a real-”

Utterson shook his head and put his hands on the other's shoulders again.

“Hush”, he whispered. “Don't speak that way. None of this is true. Being Jekyll's darker half doesn't make you tainted. Neither does what that scum did to you. Was this the first time you were penetrated like that?”

The brunette lowered his head and nodded.

“Edward. It doesn't count.”

Hyde's head whipped back up, disbelief edged into his face. “What's that supposed to mean?!”

The black-haired man gently kneaded his shoulders and explained: “Your virginity is something you have to give willingly. Something taken without consent and by hurting someone is worth nothing. Your body may be wounded and bruised, but it won't become impure or dirty, because of something that wasn't your fault or even your choice. You haven't chosen to give yourself, Edward, and that's why what he did to you doesn't count. The only things that can tarnish you, are the choices _you_ make and the things _you_ do.”

Throughout his talk, the boy's eyes had filled with tears and now they were running down his face like torrents.

“That's … the biggest balderdash I ever heard! It makes … no sense whatsoever!”, he choked. “Goddammit, Gabriel! Quit making me so bloody sentimental all the time!”

“Sorry”, Utterson apologised, “I'll try. No guarantees, though.”

“I hate being like this!”, Hyde sobbed, “I hate being so fucking pathetic!”

“Edward …”

“I want to forget it! I want to forget, that this ever happened! I want to stop feeling these things and go back to being the unfeeling, cold-hearted creature that I was!”

“Edward …”

The brunette dug his fingernails so deeply into his arms that blood started to seep through the sleeves of the nightgown.

“I want it to stop!”, he cried in anguish. “I want it to stop, damn it! Make it stop! Help me forget it all! Make me forget who I am and not think about anything but that I'm here with you! You're so good at that, Gabriel. Calm my nerves and my mind! Make me feel like I'm more than just the personified sins and vices of someone else! Make me feel like I'm human!”

“Edward!”

The black-haired man pried the other's hands away from his arms, embraced him and let him cry into his chest. The smaller man clung to him like a lifeline, while Utterson stroked his back and his long, dark brown hair with the other.

“Edward. Look at me”, he pleaded.

Oh so hesitantly, the younger looked into his eyes. The older took a napkin out of his waistcoat and wiped the blood off Hyde's arms.

“You're not pathetic. You're hurt, angry and upset and there is nothing pathetic about that. I've told you many times before and I will tell you again. You're far more than just the personified darker half of Henry's soul. You're human. You're a man. Always were and always will be. You're not the lesser being you think you are.”

Hyde's acid green eyes were full of doubt.

“Prove it!”, he rasped, “Prove to me that I'm a person and not the monster everyone things I am!”

The lawyer acted out of instinct.

Hyde blinked in confusion, as the taller man cupped his face and bent down slightly.

“Gabriel …?”

He didn't get to finish the question.

 

Utterson had no idea, what prompted him to lay his lips upon Hyde's.

Or why he had thought that he could just give the other a gentle peck on the lips.

Because that had been his intention: a harmless, quick and chaste peck.

Stupid him.

As if Hyde ever wouldn't be Hyde enough to crave more than just that fleeting touch.

Next thing he knew was that the young man was kissing him back with passion and entangling his spidery fingers in his greying hair.

Utterson felt his face flush. He felt his heart beat higher and a strange fuzziness in his stomach.

Yet at the same time, he felt a sting in his heart.

_What am I doing? My first kiss was supposed to be with Henry, yet here I am …_

The thought was quickly banished, however. Hyde gently pushed him down onto the bed and crawled on top of him, not breaking the kiss for a split of a second.

Never would the black-haired man have imagined, that this would feel so … right. That he would ever willingly make out with Edward Hyde and like it.

But Hyde was so skilled and good at it, and his lips tasted like the pomegranate seeds he had eaten earlier.

It was wonderful. Addictive. It took his breath away.

It made him feel … _desire_. He had never felt desire before. It was so unfamiliar, yet it felt so good.

He moaned softly and clasped the other's thin waist.

But after a while, the need for air became too great and they parted, both wheezing for breath.

“Whoa …”, Utterson gasped. “Edward …”

With hooded eyes, he gazed at the smaller man, who was currently panting on top of him.

His eyes were glowing with emotion and a rosy blush had painted his pale cheeks.

In that moment, he looked stunningly beautiful.

“That was … unexpected”, he remarked breathlessly.

Then he giggled: “That really was your first kiss.”

It wasn't a question.

Utterson blushed harder and asked sheepishly: “Was it that obvious?”

Hyde nodded. “Quite so. Your lips quivered. And you were so awkward, clumsy and timid, there is no way you could've had any experience.”

The black-haired man was peeved by the smug grin on the brunette's face. But any snappy retort he could have made died in his throat, when he saw the softness in those green eyes.

“No one has ever given me their first kiss before”, Hyde confessed. Then, more seriously: “You saved your first kiss for Jekyll, didn't you? Why did you kiss me instead?”

That was a good question.

Why _had_ he kissed him?

Because he had felt like he had to do it? Because the younger had needed it? Because he had wanted to? Because he'd had something to prove?

None of those … but he had no idea what the truth was.

“I … I do not know”, he finally admitted.

“Do you regret it?”

Utterson considered.

Eventually he smiled and said: “No. I don't regret kissing you.”

Hyde relaxed and smiled back.

And then, suddenly – a lion yawn.

Seemed like exhaustion was finally catching up to a certain someone.

The lawyer chuckled and pulled the covers over them.

“Sleep, Edward. I'll stay with you.”

Hyde snuggled into him and fell asleep soon after.

Utterson wrapped his arms around him and closed his eyes.

Never mind, that he was still fully dressed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_* I don’t know how anal injuries were treated back then (if at all), so I improvised._

_** Mary Ann - Victorian slang for an effeminate man, sometimes (but not necessarily) a male prostitute._

_In summer 1885 (before my story begins), the age of consent was raised from 13 to 16 years old (by the same Act that criminalised homosexuality)._

_My Hyde looks younger than 16 years old at first glance (being so small and slight), so a stranger would mistake him for a 12/13-year-old, just by looking at his face._


	33. Of kisses and good friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Utterson wakes up to Jekyll in the morning after and their friends come to check on them.

Utterson awoke earlier than usual. Probably because he was dressed, or because someone else was lying in his bed with him.

He didn't even startle, when his own cerulean blue eyes stared into the sleepy chocolate brown orbs of Henry Jekyll.

“Mornin'”, Jekyll slurred groggily and blushed lightly.

Seemed they had woken up at the same time.

Now that was rare.

Jekyll was not a morning person. He and Hyde had that in common, Utterson supposed.

“Good morning, sleepyhead”, he chuckled and caressed the other's wheat blond hair.

The taller man whined in protest and tightened his hug, when the lawyer tried to wind himself out of his arms.

“Henry, it's Monday morning. We need to get up.”

Jekyll grumbled something that sounded dangerously like “Bleedin' Mondays”.

But before Utterson could scold him, he suddenly remembered the events of last night. As a result, he embraced the other protectively.

“Henry”, he sighed, “I'd love to lie here with you all day, but I can't.”

“Just a few more minutes!”, Jekyll begged and gave him a pleading look. “Please don't leave me alone!”

His eyes were filling with tears of sorrow. So the events were coming back to him.

Utterson hated seeing him like this. But what he hated far more was the cause. If he ever came face to face with the bastard who had done this … he wasn't sure, if he would be able to contain himself. Oh, who was he kidding. There was no way he would be able to.

“I won't”, he promised and caressed his Doctor's face.

In a poor attempt at distraction, he confessed: “Henry … I kissed Edward Hyde last night.”

Jekyll frowned: “I know.”

Utterson blushed in embarrassment.

_Oh my God, why did I say this, that just sounded so incredibly stupid, why can't I disappear, goddammit, Gabriel, you bloody idiot, is that the best thing you could come up with, why can't I ever just shut the hell up-_

The Doctor was looking at him expectantly, obviously wanting him to say something more.

Had Utterson mentioned that he hated this kind of conversation? Because he did.

“And … uh, I don't regret it.”

“I know that too.”

“You … you're not feeling betrayed, are you?”

Jekyll shook his head. “You're not my property. We're not even real lovers. I have no right to get jealous and sulky, just because I didn't get your first kiss.”

For someone who always kept up a facade in public, he was a remarkably bad liar. At least to Utterson he was.

“Henry, do you remember how much I used to despise him?”

“Of course I do.”

“And the promise I made?”

The blond's frown deepened. “Yes. What are you getting at?”

“It was my choice to kiss him. Do you know what that means?”

Jekyll wondered briefly, but then he seemed to understand.

“Oh …”

He blushed and asked shyly: “May I … kiss you now, Gabriel?”

Utterson smiled. “You have to ask?”

They were both blushing madly, when Jekyll finally – _finally_! – did what they both had wanted to do for so long.

Kissing Jekyll was different, of course.

Hyde's kiss had been beguiling, intoxicating and full of passion.

Jekyll's kiss was sweet, tender and loving.

In a way, both were his first times.

Utterson felt the proverbial butterflies dance in his stomach and smiled into the kiss. For so long he had dreamed of kissing the blond and now his dream was coming true.

It was wonderful.

He could have stayed like this forever, but that pesky little thing called air got jealous and they had to part.

“I love you”, Jekyll gasped. His brown eyes were glowing with happiness.

The lawyer felt a pang in his heart.

He still couldn't say it back.

He loved Jekyll. More than life itself.

But he didn't love Hyde. Which meant that he didn't truly love the other.

The Doctor guessed what he was feeling.

“It's alright”, he cooed and caressed the black-haired man's cheek. “I can kiss you at last. That's enough for me.”

Suddenly he smirked: “You took a lesson from Hyde, didn't you? You're not nearly as clumsy as you were yesterday night!”

Utterson smirked back. “Oh, shut up. And Henry?”

“Hm?”

“We still have to get up.”

Jekyll groaned and buried his head in the other's shoulder.

“You're a sick, cruel man!”

 

Jekyll wasn't happy that Utterson had to cook breakfast himself.

“Where is your butler?”, he inquired.

The lawyer huffed: “He found a better paying job and quit. I'm currently looking for a housekeeper, but I can't pay a good wage, because the flat and household appliances, food and clothes already devour most of my income. So I do everything by myself. Besides, my grandmother _did_ teach me how to keep house, so it's fine-”

Before he could continue, there was a rapping at the door.

Jekyll wondered, who it could be. He knew that Utterson didn't receive his clients this early.

Turned out it wasn't a client.

It was Lady Summers, who came rushing in, as soon as the lawyer had opened the door.

She looked completely out of herself, her face was red and she was gasping for breath.

“Good morning!”, she wheezed. “Dr. Lanyon told me what happened! Is everyone- was I interrupting something?”

She looked back and forth between the two men.

“No, no”, Jekyll assured her and stood up. “Do sit down, Milady. You look as if you're about to faint.”

Gratefully the poor Lady dropped onto the chair and struggled to recover her breath.

“My coach is in repair”, she gasped, “So I came here on horseback.”

Jekyll frowned. “You rode all the way here?! In the City of London?!”

“I was in a hurry! Do you think that a Lady like myself would (or _could_ ) run through the City?”

“But still … riding a horse through the streets of London?!”

“Shut up and tell me everything!”, she snapped. “I didn't come here for an English breakfast!”

Utterson stepped in: “Calm down, both of you. It doesn't matter. Milady, recover first and then we can talk. Henry is right, you're going to faint.”

“Don't be ridiculous!”, Lady Summers scoffed and jumped up, “I'm not going to pass out from something so-”

But before she could end her sentence, she – oh so predictably – fainted and collapsed onto the floor.

Jekyll shook his head. Women could be so unreasonable sometimes!

“Lay her on the couch and get the smelling salt”, he sighed in annoyance.

The black-haired man obeyed.

They held the smelling salt to her nose and fanned her some air.

Soon her ice blue eyes fluttered open and she frowned.

“Did I actually faint?”, she muttered incredulously. “Well, that is humiliating. I came here to check on you and instead you need to tend to me.”

“Well, you brought this upon yourself”, Jekyll scolded her and she glowered at him.

“May I offer you a cup of tea?”, Utterson asked in concern, “Surely you need some refreshment.”

She smiled. “It would be very much appreciated.”

 

“Thank you for not loosening my corset”, the Prussian said, when they sat around the fireplace a few minutes later.

“That would have been improper”, Jekyll replied with a frown.

“Not only that. It would have made things worse”, Lady Summers told them and explained. “I have these episodes sometimes, when I spit blood. Right now I'm having one, that's why I'm laced tighter than usual. It helps a little. Better to gasp for air than to spit blood and show frailty in front of everyone. I may not be an arrogant woman, but I'm certainly a proud one.”

Jekyll understood that.

It was similar for him and if he'd been in her situation, he would have done the same.

He was surprised that she even entrusted that secret to them.

She heard his thoughts and chuckled: “I've grown accustomed to your presence in my life, Doctor. You should see that as an honour. Not many of my clients can say that.”

He blushed a little.

A privilege indeed. Considering the Countess had known his friends for much longer than him and Hyde.

“But enough of me”, the Lady continued and her face became sombre. “As I said, when I so rudely barged in earlier – which I apologise for – Dr. Lanyon called me and told me what happened. I immediately dropped everything to come here.”

She sighed: “I'm sorry, if I ruined the morning for you.”

Jekyll shook his head. “It's fine. I would have come to see you anyway and sooner is better than later.”

She pat the space next to her. “Sit with me, you three.”

They joined her on the couch.

“Shall I read your mind, or do you want to talk about it?”, she asked gently.

He vehemently rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I don't think I have the strength to talk about it”, he croaked. “I … I can't. So go ahead.”

He saw the familiar flash run through her ice blue eyes.

They widened in bewilderment and she gasped. She looked like she was going to burst into tears. But somehow she swallowed them. And wordlessly opened her arms.

The Doctor allowed himself to fall apart and sank onto her right shoulder.

“It's okay to cry”, she whispered gently. “Let it out. Pour out all of your hurt, anger and shame. It's alright.”

That did it.

He recalled every single thing that had happened two nights ago.

And Jekyll screamed.

Cried into her shoulder.

Blubbered incoherent strings of words, while the Lady stroked his back and cooed words of comfort into his ears.

He clung to her and drank up her sympathy, like he had never been given any before.

In a way that was true.

This little German-born aristocrat, who was just a few months younger than him, showed him the maternal kindness he had never known.

He understood now, why Hyde saw her as a motherly figure.

Speaking of which, he felt his other half stir within him. But when Hyde sensed that Lady Summers was there, he relaxed. It affected Jekyll as well.

Bit by bit, their grief ebbed away.

Her soft, lisping voice and the scent of chocolate and peppermint were soothing.

Finally, Jekyll was just breathing in and out and leaning into her embrace.

For now he wasn't hurting anymore.

“Thank you”, he breathed hoarsely. “I – _we_ feel better now.”

The Lady smiled and gave him a handkerchief to dry his face. “Anytime, Dr. Jekyll. That's what I'm there for, after all.”

Then her face became sombre again. “Do you mind, if I read your mind again? I couldn't quite catch a glimpse of the culprit.”

“You don't need to”, Jekyll remarked, “I can describe him. I remember his appearance clearly.”

Lady Summers gave him a demanding look.

“He looked a bit like your coachman, but taller – about my height. Wild red hair and freckles. And he had grey eyes and a deep voice. Judging by the accent, an Irishman.”

He puffed his cheeks. “I don't think we should mention his nationality to anyone. Knowing the public, it'll worsen their opinion about the Irish.”

Lady Summers sneered. “It would. They generalise everything. Poor Sean wouldn't be able to show his face anywhere.”

_Oh yes. Mr. O'Connor is an Irishman too, isn't he?_

“Yes. From Skibbereen, to be exact. He was born shortly after the Great Famine.”

_Oh dear._

Jekyll remembered that. He had only been a teenager back then. The newspapers hadn't talked much about it, but for some reason people had believed that the Irish deserved it. That the potato blight and the resulting famine had been a punishment from God.

He himself didn't believe in that sort of thing, never had.

“That's one of the things I like about you, Doctor”, Lady Summers told him, much to his surprise. “I encounter so much racism in everyday life, but not from you. But back to the matter at hand. I would still like to get an impression of him.”

Jekyll consented.

But when she had read his mind once more, her eyes widened.

Then her face distorted in rage.

“ _Him_!”, she bellowed fiercely and jumped up, “That measly piece of dirt! It's bad enough that he has the nerve to even return to England and now _this_! That's it! I will murder him!”

“Wait! Don't let your anger run away with your senses!”, Utterson cried and grabbed her wrist.

“You _know_ that man?!”, Jekyll cried in bewilderment.

She nodded grimly. “Oh, I certainly do. I may forget a lot of things, but there are two things I never forget: faces and names. I only met him twice, but I will never forget him. And Alma knows him too. She will be delighted to hear that he is back, she has waited to get her revenge for twelve years!”

_Alma Donovan … her youngest half-sister … that cross-dressing girl, who warned Hyde – oh my god! She warned us beforehand! How could we forget!? And how does she know that man???_

“Who is he?!”, he demanded to know, “How do you and your sister know him?!”

Suddenly a new female voice spoke up: “He's me older brother.”

They all whirled around.

Standing in the door frame to the living room was no other than the young Miss concerned. Her eyes were blazing.

“How did you get in?!”, Utterson asked hotly. “How dare you just waltz into my flat without my permission?!”

The red-head huffed: “Sorry! I wanted to check on you three! Also, you forgot to close the door. Don't worry though, I closed and locked it for you.”

She approached them in a few steps. “So he's back, eh?”, she snarled, “Gotta admit, I didn't see that cumin'.”

Jekyll stared at her. “I remember you!”

“'Course you remember me now”, Miss Donovan muttered. “Should've remembered me warning too. Now it's too late. I mean, I knew ye two would forget it, but still. An' yes, I know. Dunno why it surprises you, I'm a prophet.”

Lady Summers glared at her half-sister.

“Firstly, don't rub it into his face. Secondly, drop that nasty Cockney accent and speak proper English.”*

“Alright, alright!”, the younger groaned in annoyance and (Jekyll couldn't believe his eyes) stuck her tongue at the older!

The Lady rolled her eyes and asked: “Why did you come here again?”

“I wanted to know, if he's okay!”, Miss Donovan spat, “I knew what would happen, but my vision was suspiciously blurry, when it came to the aftermath.”

“Listen, Miss”, Jekyll spoke up in a hard voice, “As much as I appreciate your concern … I don't see, how what happened to me and Hyde is any of your business. And I do not care, whether the culprit was your brother or not.”

He felt Hyde's irritation leak through, but right now, he didn't even care. It wasn't like they were in public. And since this girl knew anyway, there was nothing to lose.

She raised her arms in defeat. “Alright, Jesus! Calm down!”

Then she jumped, like she remembered something.

“I forgot! I brought something!”, she cried (lapsing back into Cockney) and put the bag on the table. From it she got a lot of muffins and a bottle of wine.

“Nothing like treats and wine to forget your troubles!”

Lady Summers frowned. “Alma! It's nine in the morning!”, she scolded.

The ginger shrugged. “So what? Call it eight bells**. Besides, we're four people and it's just one bottle. So unless one of these two gents can't hold his liquor, it's not enough to get plastered.”

Jekyll gave into the insanity and shrugged as well. “Actually, I could use a drink or two.”

“Me as well”, Utterson agreed and stood up to fetch glasses, “Everything is just so horrible right now.”

“You know what? Pour one for me too”, the Prussian gave up, “I haven't had breakfast yet. Perhaps it will relax us all.”

 

“Wow, this actually _was_ relaxing!”, Lady Summers stated, when they were full.

Jekyll nodded and sighed comfortably. “Yes. I'm feeling so much better!”

“My aggravation is gone!”, Utterson marvelled.

“Told ya!”, Miss Donovan replied merrily. “And you is still sober enough to work! So it's all fair game! You know, sometimes us working class folks 'ave the best ideas!”

Before anyone could answer, there was a knock on the door.

Utterson went to see, who it was.

When he opened, he came face to face with a dishevelled looking, bleary-eyed Lanyon. He was hatless and wearing his pince-nez instead of his shades.

“Good morning, Utterson”, he panted, “I came to see … if Hyde and Jekyll …”

“Come in. We just had breakfast. Jekyll is out right now”, the other said gently and ushered his friend into the living room.

Jekyll stood up immediately. “Lanyon! Good morning.”

“H-Hey”, Lanyon croaked, “I … I just wanted to check … if you …”

Before the taller man could say something, he went up to him and cupped his face in his hands.

“Dammit, Henry”, Lanyon choked, “Can you ever _not_ get hurt! You … you …”

He broke down and wept.

Jekyll smiled sadly and hugged him.

“Shhhh”, he whispered, “Don't cry. I'm messed up now, but someday I'll be fine. Of that I'm sure. Do you know why?”

Lanyon looked up tearfully.

Jekyll looked at all of them. “Because I can be sure that you will always be there. For both Hyde and me. Forgive my soppiness, but … I have the best friends in the world. You all are just so dear to me.”

Utterson felt his heart warm and a stupid grin stretched his lips.

Lanyon laughed hoarsely and wiped his tears away with his sleeve.

Lady Summers chuckled fondly.

Miss Donovan just turned away.

The blond doctor opened his arms widely. “Group hug?”

Everyone except Miss Donovan joined in the hug pile.

They looked at her expectantly.

“You too, Miss”, Jekyll invited her. “You knew that we wouldn't listen to you, but you warned us anyway. And you came to see, if we were okay.”

The red-head shrugged and joined them. “Fine. I hardly know ye, but I'm a slut for group hugs.”

“For the last time, _drop_ the Cockney accent!”, Lady Summers scowled, but her younger half-sister just ignored it.

Utterson didn't know how long the group hug lasted, but it was fine.

Eventually it fell apart though.

Lady Summers grinned. “Now to lighten things up a little further. I just remembered something pleasant we can talk about to finish the morning.”

She tilted her head and looked at him and Jekyll expectantly. “Do tell us about your first kisses. You know I'm weak for romance.”

Lanyon and Miss Donovan smirked at them. “Yes, give us the gory details!”

Jekyll and Utterson blushed bright scarlet.

 

* * *

 

 

_*At first I wrote Alma's parts in the way Cockney is pronounced. But when I read it over, I realized that it was hard to read for people who don't know the dialect. So I decided to just hint it here and there and leave you to imagine, that she's using a good and proper Cockney accent._

_**Call it 8 bells - Victorian Slang for: to get drunk before high noon (8 bells)_


	34. The memorable habits of Miss Donovan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde is back up to his debauchery and has a friendly encounter with the flame-headed prophet.

The physical injuries had healed well.

And now that both Jekyll and Hyde knew, that they had something like a family for the first time in their life, the wounds on their soul were beginning to heal as well.

But Hyde didn't feel strong enough to come out and go around to pursue his hobbies for a while.

Jekyll therefore had the pleasure of staying in control for almost a month, before Hyde got fidgety again.

“Are you sure you want to go back to that?”, he asked one evening, when Hyde demanded to be let out again. “Perhaps that scum will be back-”

“ _If he knows what's good for him, he won't”_ , his alter ego snarled in response.

“Hyde, I really don't think this is a good idea.”

“ _I need this, Jekyll”_ , the younger pointed out. _“And so do you. Do you think I haven't noticed how you've gone back to your old self-repression? You want to be free again. And so do I.”_

The Doctor didn't argue anymore.

He did laugh, though. “You're truly incorrigible.”

“ _Look who's talking!”_ , Hyde retorted.

Jekyll finished his work for the day and left his office.

Poole frowned, when he told him that he would go out tonight.

“Are you sure, Doctor?”, the elderly servant questioned. “Only a month after you-know-what?”

“It's alright”, Jekyll assured him. “We will be more careful this time. Don't worry, Arthur.”

Poole shook his head. “You're truly incorrigible, Henry.”

The blond chuckled. “I know.”

Only Poole got away with that cheek towards him.

 

“Mister Hyde! So good to see you again!”, the cash carrier* cried eagerly and approached the small brunette, when he entered the bar.

Hyde hid his scorn behind his creepy smile and told him that tonight he was just here to get drunk.

When he looked around, he recognised some men, he had bested on other occasions.

Some of them saw him and glowered, but Hyde didn't worry about them.

They wouldn't have the guts to do anything, he knew.

He jumped onto the counter and threw a Sovereign onto the table.

“Long time no see! The usual?”, the barkeeper inquired and Hyde nodded affirmatively.

“The usual. And pour it, where I can see it!”, he added scowling, when the barkeeper turned his back on him to pour the drink.

The man gulped. “Alright, alright!”

He stepped to the side, so the smaller man could see everything, poured the ale and handed him his pint.

“Thank you”, Hyde purred with false sweetness and strode over to his accustomed seat in the corner.

To his surprise, someone was already sitting at the table.

And it was none other than-

“No way!”, he exclaimed, “Miss Donovan! Fancy meeting you here!”

She turned her head, recognised him and grinned like a bedlam girl. “Likewise!”, she responded, “Been a while, hasn't it? Come and sit with me, Mr. Hyde!”

He did so.

This time she wasn't cross-dressing. Instead she was sporting a black and red dress. Her flame red curls were in a ponytail and she wore dark red lipstick and rouge.

Probably to lure men in.

Hyde knew a trap, when he saw one.

“How've you been?”, she asked cheerily.

“I'm getting better.”

“I can tell. Up to your debauchery again, eh?”

“Well, what can I say? I am and always will be a depraved man.”

“It's fine. Just don't go forcing yourself on people ever again. Now that you know what that feels like.”

Hyde frowned. “Oh, don't worry. I learned my lesson in _that_ regard.”

She nodded. “Good.”

“Sooo”, Hyde drawled, “What are you doing here in a bar?”

The ginger shrugged. “Eh, ya know. Getting up the pole and looking for girls.”

_Oh. So she's a queer too …_

“Well, this is a brothel, so-”

“I'm not here to dab it up”, Miss Donovan revealed, “I want to find a lady-friend. Kinda hard for me to keep one.”

He looked at her in confusion.

It was hard for him to imagine.

Alma Donovan was an attractive girl, in almost every way. Even the piercing, feral look in her eyes – so much like his own – could be enticing. He certainly knew that a lot of men had a thing for wild, temperamental beauties.

She explained: “I'm mad. Maybe Luise told you, but I like to stab and mutilate blokes. They just 'ave to look at me funny and then they can say bye-bye to their crown jewels.”

Hyde cringed.

“Do I have to worry about losing mine?”, he queried.

She shook her head. “Unless you ever hurt a woman again, nah. Besides, you already got a taste of your medicine and promised to never do it again. So you're safe.”

_Oh thank Heavens …_

“And I have quite a few other quirks”, the ginger continued, “So every time I actually manage to get meself a girlfriend, it doesn't last long. I'm looking for a lady, who can put up with me madness.”

Oh.

Well, he knew a few tough girls. Tough enough for him, at least. And he was a madman himself, after all. So in theory, they would be able to handle that madwoman here too. But …

“Just out of curiosity, how do you treat your lady-friends?”

Suddenly, Miss Donovan grinned like a Chesire cat.

“Oh, I spoil them rotten!”, she cried excitedly, “Luise gives me a handsome allowance and I make quite a lot of money by placing bets! I'd give them the best I can afford, take them out for dates, protect them from perverts, teach them how to defend themselves and how to read and write, take care of them, be there when they need me-”

The plural form got his attention. “Them?”

Miss Donovan scratched her head awkwardly. “That's the other problem. Monogamy isn't me thing. That and the fact that I get into trouble so often … well, you get the idea. Have been jailed several times too. Luise cuts me allowance every time she has to bail me out.”

One of these girls, eh?

Hyde laughed: “Miss Donovan, I think you and I are going to get along just fine.”

“Call me Alma”, she requested, “Miss Donovan was me mother.”

The brunette grinned. “Call me Edward then.”

They shook hands and proceeded to chat about this and that.

Unfortunately their conversation was interrupted, when Hyde felt a presence behind himself.

Alma frowned. “Uhh, Edward?”

“I know”, he muttered and turned around to come face to face with a huge bloke, who was glaring down at him. He reminded Hyde of a gorilla Jekyll had once seen at the zoo.

“Can I help you, Sir?”, he asked coolly and with an unaffected expression.

“You sick in the head?”, the taller man snarled.

He raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Ye heard me!”, the gorilla growled.

Hyde looked past him and caught sight of some men he remembered roughing up. They were whispering and staring at the gorilla, like he was off his head. Which he certainly was.

“I have a score to settle with ya!”

“No, you don't”, Hyde responded languidly. “If we'd brawled before, I'd remember you.”

One of the workers in the background stood up and put a hand on the moron's shoulder.

“Are you off your rocker?!”, the man hissed, “That gremlin looks small, but he holds a candle to the devil.”**

A _gremlin_?!

He heard Jekyll snort in his head and almost laughed too. But Hyde was in a good mood, so the other man was off the hook. Besides, that was one of the more harmless things he'd been called so far.

“Well, you would know, wouldn't you?”, Hyde remarked, smirking.

“See, Sir”, he turned back to the gorilla, “ _That_ man would have a score to settle with me. And so do those three gentlemen in the back.”

He pointed at three other men, who were sitting at one of the other tables. The worker returned his chair at their table.

“They're just wise enough not to”, Hyde continued. “And you should be too. Or you can just tell me what you actually want.”

“Ye must be that Hyde-fella”, the giant growled.

“'Sup?”

“I heard things about ya!”

“Really now?” Hyde's eyes narrowed. He was starting to feel extremely agitated. Why couldn't that twit just leave them alone? Normally he would have punched him in the gut by now, but he didn't feel like getting himself another house ban.

“Ye start brawls and beat people up for kicks”, the bigger man growled.

_And you don't? Hypocrite._

“Even if they're over twice yer size-”

_And what does that tell you?! Sod off!_

“-Almost killed some old geezer for no reason-”

How the hell did that bastard know that?! Sir Danvers Carew hadn't pressed charges or given his name! The only witness had been a maid and Lady Summers had bought her silence. No one knew that it had been _him_!

Hyde feigned ignorance: “Some old geezer? Rumours! I can't think of one!”

Jekyll snorted: _“Fibbing, Hyde? That's not like you.”_

_Shut up, Jekyll. Besides, it's easy to deny, when he doesn't say who he means._

Well, at least the fib had the desired effect. It threw the other off. Good. So he had only heard rumours about it. He couldn't prove anything. He didn't even know, if it was true.

The brunette scoffed: “Telling stories with no basis on reality? Pathetic! Now, for the last time, who are you and what do you want?”

_I swear, if I have to ask one more time-_

“I'm Bob Smith”, the gorilla told him.

“And I'm Queen Victoria”, Hyde responded, mimicking a female voice and batting his eyelashes. “Guess who I am!”

Some people cackled in the background. Alma chortled and even Jekyll laughed in his head.

The gorilla's scowl intensified. “I'm tryin' to talk to ye, little shit!”

“As am I. And I'm currently failing. And I'm sorry for that. But I'm just so irritated! Because a plastered gorilla just strolled up to me and my friend, interrupted our conversation and is trying to intimidate me, like I'm one of the underage attendants!”

Hyde stared him right into the eyes. He could tell that, if he stood up, he still wouldn't even reach up to the giant's chest, so he didn't bother. Also, he'd bested men of that size before, some of them being professional brawlers. And he was in the perfect position to-

Suddenly the gorilla grabbed him by the collar, which made him gasp in surprise.

“Don't give me that sass, ye brat!”, he snarled. “I'll tear ye to pieces an'-”

Before he could continue, Hyde decided that he had enough and kicked him in the nuts with all his strength.

The gorilla let go and wailed like a little girl. Then he dropped onto the floor, clutching his crown jewels and cursed up a storm.

Priceless.

Utterly priceless!

The brunette scoffed: “Look at you! Acting tough, but a simple kick in the nuts is enough to knock you off your feet. Pathetic.”

“Oi!”, Alma suddenly piped up and stood up. She came around the table and grabbed the man by the hair. “I remember you!”

Her ice blue ice narrowed to slits.

“I saw you 'ere a fortnight ago! You're that piece of shit, who walked off with one of the underage attendants! That ten-year-old gal, if I remember correctly.”

_So that gorilla is one of those blokes, huh?_

“ _Ew! Gross!”,_ Jekyll groaned in disgust. _“And you call_ me _a dirty old man, Hyde! At least I don't use children to satisfy my carnal desires!”***_

 _Yes, that's one of your redeeming qualities_ , Hyde thought drily.

Meanwhile Alma was grinning maniacally. “Why, there's only one appropriate way to 'andle blokes like you!”

To the brunette's surprise, she charmed a knife from her glove. “Now”, she purred darkly, “You will find out, why they call me 'Knife Alma'!”

_Ohhhh, this is going to be good!_

“ _Hyde, no.”_

_Hyde, yes!_

Hyde was quite convinced, that the knife was blunt. Which made this whole thing even better!

But before more could happen, someone new entered the brothel.

He couldn't believe his eyes. “Lucy!”

She turned to face him. “Oh, Mr. Hyde! Good evening!”

He frowned. “What are you doing here? I thought I told you to leave this place!”

The black-haired woman smiled. “Don't worry, I'm just here to get my clothes. It took me a while to find a room somewhere, but now I finally have a nice one.”

Hyde composed himself. Finding a nice _and_ affordable place to live was extremely hard here in London, he knew that.

Lucy went up to the pimp and they began a talk, which quickly turned into an argument.

His eyes narrowed.

Oh no, that snake was _not_ going to take Lucy's things for himself!

“Is there a problem?”, he asked the pimp icily.

The snake began to talk some gibberish about Lucy having debts.

“I see”, Hyde replied coolly and turned to Lucy: “When you moved out, how much did he charge you?”

“Sixty Pounds”, Lucy huffed. “And I paid! Now he wants another twenty!”

“Sixty? Her possessions are worth less than forty – which I know, because I calculated it. But since you're so eager to rob an _ex_ -prostitute, let's settle this business once and for all.”

Hyde turned around, rummaged in his bag and then turned to them, his hands behind the back. “Alright”, he began darkly. “In one hand I'm holding my bag, that contains medical equipment, as well as all the money you could ever dream of. In the other, I have a walking cane stable enough to bash someone's skull in. Of course”, he added with a sneer, “The other option would be that you land behind bars for hiring underage prostitutes. Just a brief reminder, the age of consent was raised up to sixteen last summer. But then again, when has that ever stopped people from lusting for little brats, eh?”

The pimp stared at him for a full minute.

“Her debts are more than settled”, he finally uttered weakly. Then he backed off and let Lucy get her last things. When she returned downstairs, the snake was waiting for her and shoved a bag of money into her hands. “Here you have twenty pounds, just keep your mouth shut!”

Hyde snorted. The things people did to avoid getting apprehended!

“ _Oh shut up!”_ , Jekyll scoffed in his head, _“You turn into me, when you get into trouble with the police!”_

You _shut up, Jekyll!_

“ _No, you!”_

_Just for the record, I haven't got into trouble with the police since that Carew affair! Now shut up and let me enjoy the show!_

“ _What show? This one or Miss Donovan castrating that paedophile?”_

Oh, right. He had forgot about that bugger.

When he turned to the red-head, she had knocked the gorilla out cold and was staring at Lucy, like she was the most gorgeous thing in the world.

To be fair, the black-haired woman _was_ the most beautiful girl he knew.

An idea popped into Hyde's head.

He took the surprised Lucy by the hand and guided her to his new friend (who quickly hid her knife).

“Let me introduce you to Lucy Harris, a woman who's too good for this sinful world – don't you dare deny it, Lucy”, he added, when she wanted to object. “And this is Alma Donovan, a friend of mine, who is just as mad as I am.”

“Charmed!”, Alma cried enthusiastically and shook the blushing woman's hand. “It's an honour to meet a remarkable lady such as yourself!”

“Uhm … likewise …”, Lucy mumbled shyly, obviously not knowing how to deal with this.

Jekyll laughed in Hyde's head.

“ _I didn't pin you to be a match-maker!”_ , he teased. If he had been corporeal, Hyde would've stuck his tongue at him.

_Oh shut up, if these two hook up, it might give me an advantage!_

“ _Sure, Hyde. Whatever helps you sleep at night! There is no way you could be doing this, because you want two people who helped you to be happy!”_

_I would punch you, if I could._

“ _But you cahaaan't!”_ , Jekyll taunted him. _“Come on, Edward! You know that I'm right!”_

The brunette puffed his cheeks in annoyance.

Better half, his arse! Also, how old was that man again? Oh yeah, fifty! He was a dirty, fifty-year-old bastard!

A groan got their attention. Oh, the gorilla was waking up.

The two mad people excused themselves and dragged the half-conscious man outside and into an alley. Hyde kicked him in the solar plexus for good measure, to render him defenceless.

But when Donovan had her blunt knife out, Hyde laughed and took a scalpel out of his bag. “That knife is too blunt. Use this, that'll be quicker.”

Alma took the medical tool and made short work of the man's nether regions.

She and Hyde cackled maniacally as the child-molesting bastard screamed, then left him to writhe in agony.

“I need to go back”, Hyde told her, “I still have to pay for my drink.”

She grinned. “Maybe Miss Harris hasn't left yet”, she hoped.

 _I'm sure one of her ex-colleagues is keeping her back for a few minutes to chat_ , he assumed.

And sure enough, he was right.

Lucy was leaning outside, next to the door and chatting with one of her colleagues, who had crept outside for some fresh air.

Hyde recognised the other woman. _That French girl … what was her name … oh right, Marianne._

Alma went up to them and joined in their conversation, while he went back inside to pay.

Everyone was obviously glad, when he paid up and left the place.

Then he had a short talk with the three women (Lucy inquired how he was doing), before turning to go home. “Goodbye, ladies! It was fun to pass time with you!”

“Likewise!”, Alma laughed and waved back.

Then they all went their separate ways.

 

Hyde was still elated, when he arrived at his flat.

Sure, he hadn't got up the pole tonight, but damn! He had found himself one sister in arms!

“This was the best evening in ages!”, he exclaimed happily.

“ _I can imagine it was”_ , Jekyll deadpanned and appeared in the mirror.

“ _This is my nightmare!”_ , the blond groaned and shook his head. _“You found a partner in crime, who's just as deranged as you are!”_

The brunette cackled and revelled in the other's exasperation.

 

Meanwhile Lady Summers was doing paper work, when her telephone rang and she jumped.

With a frustrated sigh, she took the receiver. “Hello, Lady Summers speaking?”

In the next moment she winced and held the receiver away from her ear.

“You, Luise! I just had the best evening ever!”

Why did Alma have to shout into the phone like that?!

“Let me guess, you castrated someone?”, the Lady sighed in annoyance.

“That too, but I met some really interesting people!”

“Did you now?”

“Yes! First off, I stumbled upon Hyde in a brothel-”

“What were you doing there?!”

“I'm coming to that – and we chatted about this and that, when this huge gorilla of a man interrupted our conversation and started to annoy Edward-”

_Oh, so it's first name basis now?_

“-and you won't believe this! It was the same guy, who screwed that little girl the other day! The one I didn't get to punish, because I had to leave early!”

“Aha.”

“And just as I wanted to give him, what he deserved, this absolutely gorgeous woman walked in! She was so cute and beautiful, damn! It's true love, I know it! And Edward introduced me to her! Her name is Lucy Harris! She's so adorable! I asked for her address and get this! She just moved into the house where I live! Isn't that amazing?! Maybe I'll finally have a lasting relationship! And I also got to know a Frenchwoman, who is apparently a former colleague of Lucy's. A really bricky**** lady, I tell you!”

The Prussian needed a minute to process all of this.

Then she recovered her spirit.

“That's nice, Alma. But you still haven't told me what you were doing in a run-down brothel bar in Soho.”

“I was looking for a potential girlfriend! You know how hard it is for me to keep one! And every woman in Whitechapel knows me. They don't want anything to do with me. I don't even know why! I'm doing them a favour with what I do! Anyway, I hoped that maybe I'd be luckier in one of the other districts. And I thought prostitutes would be a good thing to start with, because they're tougher than others.”

 _That's in the eye of the beholder_ , the Lady thought drily.

“Have you told Mr. Hyde about your favourite pastime?”, she asked curiously.

“Yeah. But he was calm about it, after I told him that he has nothing to fear. He even helped me castrate that child-molesting gorilla! I think I found myself a brother in arms!”

Lady Summers groaned: “This is my nightmare! You found a partner in crime, who's just as deranged as you are!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

*cash carrier - Victorian Slang for a pimp

**To hold a candle to the devil - Victorian Slang: to be evil

***My Jekyll is anti-pedo. The age of consent at that point is 16 years, but he doesn't like the idea of screwing anything younger than 18.

****bricky - Victorian Slang: brave, fearless.


	35. Mr. Utterson's 52nd birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of dark stuff happened in the last months, so Utterson decides, that only now is the right time to celebrate his 52nd birthday - exactly 2 months late.

“Ah! Good to know I'm not the only one, who's unhappy about this”, Lady Summers noted, after Jekyll had arrived and greeted her.

He caught on and nodded. “No, you're really not. Now Hyde has found a friend who's just as insane as he is – not to offend you or your sister – oh God, the things they will get up to!”

“They will terrorise the entire East End of London!”, she groaned. “As if they weren't troublesome enough on their own!”

They stared at each other in horror.

“This is a nightmare come true!”, they cried in unison.

 

Utterson wasn't happy either.

Just when he had hoped, that he could become a calming influence and (maybe) persuade Hyde to settle down one day, the small madman had to find himself a partner in madness!

Oh, the work he would have to do!

Castration, assault, grievous body harm, property damage, perhaps even murder or manslaughter!

And Utterson wasn't even a defence lawyer! Sure, he had the license to practise as one, but his job was property transfers and things like that!

_Note to self: demand a higher payment from Jekyll as soon as I have to bail Hyde out of prison for the first time._

 

Hyde had his issues with coming along for a walk in broad daylight.

But in the end, he agreed and accompanied Utterson on a walk.

“I can't believe I agreed to this”, he muttered. “And why are we here in this weather?”

Utterson raised an eyebrow. “Almost no one goes to the park in this weather, I thought you would like that.”

It was raining cats and dogs, so the park was indeed almost empty (aside from a few hardened souls, who went on their walks no matter what). He was grateful for that.

“I do”, he muttered. “But what's the purpose of this?”

“It's relaxing”, the lawyer replied simply.

But the brunette wasn't relaxed. He was just bored.

“Come”, Utterson said suddenly and pulled him off into a side path, that was shielded by winter-proof bushes.

The taller man shoved him onto a bench and sat down next to him.

“No one should see us here”, he stated and Hyde grew even more confused.

Then the lawyer placed one hand onto his waist and the other on one of his cheeks. The brunette grinned nervously.

“Uh, Mr. Utterson, what are you doing?”

The black-haired man smiled. “Something extremely risky, because it's illegal and we're in public.”

Then he kissed him.

Hyde felt his cheeks grow hot. Then he kissed back.

 _I like his kisses a little too much_ , he thought.

He had stolen and given kisses before. It was as normal for him as eating, drinking and sleeping around.

But this was different.

There was just something about the way the lawyer did it. It was chaste, affectionate and warm, albeit not as clumsy as his first times (he was a fast learner). He kissed without ulterior motives, that was clear.

Hyde seriously didn't understand why.

Utterson didn't love him. And he obviously wasn't as touchy-feely as Jekyll. So why did he give _him_ the same warmth he gave to Jekyll?!

Every time he thought he'd be able to predict the lawyer's actions and reactions, he was caught by surprise. Utterson never ceased to confound him and he still didn't know if he liked it or not.

Eh, who cared! He was being kissed!

Hyde smirked into the other's lips and decided to try something.

He nibbled a bit at the older man's lower lip with his teeth.

Utterson gasped in surprise and he seized the opportunity to slip his tongue into the other's mouth. For a second, the lawyer squirmed and Hyde thought he would push him back and slap him.

But then he seemed to give in and even began to reciprocate.

He tasted surprisingly sweet. Like the cookies he had given him once.

But even sweeter than that were the quiet moans he made, while they were making out.

_Oh, aren't you just a treat!_

“ _Hyde, you bastard!”_ , Jekyll screamed in outrage, _“Stealing that one too?! You … you …”_

 _Awww, what's the matter? Offended, because you didn't get his first tongue kiss either? Well, you know what they say; the early bird catches the worm!_ , Hyde thought gleefully.

Suddenly he remembered something.

He pulled something out of his coat and wrapped it around the lawyer's shoulders.

Then he broke the kiss.

Utterson stared at him with wide eyes, his face crimson red.

“What … what in blue blazes was that?!”, he gasped.

The brunette grinned. “Well, it's usually called-”

“That was a rhetorical question!”, the black-haired man cried and glared at him, “Dammit, Edward! Warn me next time before you stick that tongue of yours into my mouth! You smug little bastard!”

Hyde tilted his head, confused. “Are you angry? Why didn't you just push me away-”

“Because luckily for you, I liked it!”, the lawyer admitted bluntly. “But seriously, I just meant to give you a peck! Can't you ever be content with that?! We're lucky no one goes out in this weather!”

The younger man raised an eyebrow. “Gabriel. Who are you talking to again?”

That seemed to bring Utterson back to his senses. He took a deep breath and his eyes softened a little. “Was that your late birthday present to me? My first French kiss?”

Hyde laughed and shook his head. “No, my pretty lawyer.” (Utterson blushed again)

He tugged at the piece of cloth he had draped around the older man's shoulders.

“ _This_ is my present for you.”

Only now the lawyer noticed the bright blue scarf wrapped around his neck and shoulders.

“It's beautiful”, he whispered, wrapped it tighter around his neck and snuggled into the soft fabric.

Hyde smiled in satisfaction. “It looks perfect with your eyes, just like I thought. Happy late birthday, Gabriel.”

The brunette chuckled. “Also, why did you insist to celebrate your birthday two months late again?”

Utterson laughed loudly: “Honestly? I didn't feel like celebrating my own birthday on time.”

It was 17th March.

 


End file.
